The question is....WHY ???

[Leonhart]

I was referring to those who can have children and use excuses such as "I'm too busy" or "My career would suffer" or "I don't want the responsibility." Not people who cannot have children due to lack of a partner, etc.

[piggypooh]

I would answer the question with one of my own: Who would anyone NOT want to have children?

 

 

The sheer amount of negativity in this topic is enough to make my stomach turn. I could counter every negative point by putting a positive spin on it. Instead of saying, 'this world sucks, I don't want to being kids into it,' why not think that by bringing kids into it, and raising them right, they can grow up and change this rotten world for the better?

 

 

You don't really believe a child can change the world for the better ?

 

We made this world rotten so why burden a kid with OUR mistakes

 

 

I don't buy the "Selfish Ego" argument as well, I don't want kids cos I have major doubts of my own ability to cope as a parent and at least i'm having the common sense to stand up and be honest to myself and admit that with dignity. I know if I were to have kids, it would be hell for me the emotional stress may make me hurt them, or their mum, not physically, but emotionally, and I don't want to put anybody through that.

 

This isn't about Ego, its about the world, the dangers, and my own failings as a human being that has made me arrive at this decision. That, and my complete lack of paternal incentive.

[Annamugareno]

Don't know - why anyone would want to bring a child into the world in which we live - it's a sucky place.

 

For me - it was out of love for my husband. To carry on. Not everyone feels this way. It's is different for everyone. It's a GOD thing for me. For someone else, it might be a mistake. My kids are 25, 21, and 18 - I wouldn't have traded them for anything in the world - sharing my unconditional love - teaching that to my kids and watching it grow.....awesome.

[shes2smart]

We made this world rotten so why burden a kid with OUR mistakes.

 

That sentiment is nothing new. It's something that's been expressed by people since the beginning of time.

 

Somehow, we go on.

 

However, if everyone was resigned to the "fact" that it was all going to hell in a handbasket, neither you or I would be here today to argue the point.

 

Dunno about you, but even with all that's wrong in the world currently, I'm still overjoyed to be here.

[Dako]

As a young guy considering a vasectomy, I went around asking people why they had kids. Those who weren't annoyed with me usually answered much as most parents here have responded, with a description of happy parenthood, but little real insight on the decision to have children before the fact.

 

Most of them must have made the decision, but still couldn't explain it to me. I suspect there were people pressured by a broody spouse, or perhaps a BC failure, but the happy aftermath is what mattered to them.

 

I got a chuckle from yokeydokey's post that started with this:

... and I'm going to try to tell you why I decided to. Not sure how to phrase it though.

He's justifiably proud of his family, but he never explained why he chose to have kids.

Probably doesn't matter to him these days. He's happy.

[Leonhart]

You don't really believe a child can change the world for the better ?

 

We made this world rotten so why burden a kid with OUR mistakes

 

 

I don't buy the "Selfish Ego" argument as well, I don't want kids cos I have major doubts of my own ability to cope as a parent and at least i'm having the common sense to stand up and be honest to myself and admit that with dignity. I know if I were to have kids, it would be hell for me the emotional stress may make me hurt them, or their mum, not physically, but emotionally, and I don't want to put anybody through that.

 

This isn't about Ego, its about the world, the dangers, and my own failings as a human being that has made me arrive at this decision. That, and my complete lack of paternal incentive.

 

Sure do, in answer to your first question. With all my heart.

 

And leave me out of this 'we' business. I haven't been around long enough to ruin earth. lol Common sense has nothing to do with it. It's all about a negative, and fearful view of the future.

 

Okay, I can see where you're coming from. But many more list much more self-centered reasons for not having kids than you. If you could overcome your doubt, you may think differently.

 

It's not uncommon for men to not want kids, especially when they're young. As they get older, that view usually changes. I'm just glad more women want kids than men (otherwise, it would severly limit potential mates for me).

 

The world is not such a bad place. For every negative thing, you can see a positive thing otherwise. To wallow in such negativity can't be good for anyone. I should know.

 

Children are a blessing. Also, a huge responsibility, but few roles in life are more important than being a good parent. Very few.

 

And life is a gift. When you come at things from that perspective, things seem much brighter and not so... oh, I don't know... utterly miserable and fetid. As I already said, it all depends on your perspective: half full or half empty, as the cliche says.

 

BTW, what grade do you teach?

[Leonhart]

Saving the lives of the already living is a more important role in life than having children.

 

What if it's the life of one of the 'bad' people who have ruined the world?

[Leonhart]

I'm just playing devil's advocate, seeing as how people try to use that as a reason for not having kids.

[piggypooh]

i teach 9 year olds all the way up to 17 year olds. I see them grow over the years, I see the best and the worst in them and I KNOW having one of my own is not for me. For me, a child of my own would be a curse from the moment he or she is born. Its like a Phobia.

Im 35 now and have felt like this for the past 12 years so this "change as you get older" theory doesn't apply either.

[piggypooh]

Saving the lives of the already living is a more important role in life than having children.

 

 

YES YES YES !!!!!!!!! I AGREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We should look after and sort our OWN problems 1st before introducing new ones.

 

WOW !!!!!!!!!!

[Leonhart]

i teach 9 year olds all the way up to 17 year olds. I see them grow over the years, I see the best and the worst in them and I KNOW having one of my own is not for me. For me, a child of my own would be a curse from the moment he or she is born. Its like a Phobia.

Im 35 now and have felt like this for the past 12 years so this "change as you get older" theory doesn't apply either.

 

It's not a theory, just a general tendency. Clearly, you have rejected the idea, so it doesn't apply to you.

 

Is it a public school or private?

 

I imagine some of the teens can be pretty vexing. *shudders*

 

I know I'd never want to teach kids; not a whole class of them which are not my own. NO thanks! lol

 

I don't think I'd have the patience to deal with them.

[Leonhart]

I don't want kids. I'm selfish. So what? I give enough back to society every single day. I think I'm entitled to use my free time as my own, not to take care of some child I don't want.

 

Right.

 

And?

 

Why be so defensive about it?

[Leonhart]

You're not terrible. At least, I am not saying that.

 

You're unconventional and maybe not 'typically' feminine, but is that in itself a bad thing? I don't necessarily think so.

[piggypooh]

And leave me out of this 'we' business. I haven't been around long enough to ruin earth.

 

Do you drive a car ? or use Transport ?

Do you use electricty and gas ?

Do you have wooden funiture ?

Do you throw out garbage ?

Do you use air travel ?

 

If you do, then you are JUST AS GUILTY AS ALL OF US for ruining the planet cos we are ALL doing that EVERY DAY with our lifestyles.

 

Being on this planet means we are ALL responsible for looking after it TOGETHER, instead of blaming others for the mess its in. We are SO set in out pathetic little ways that we don't even give a toss about global warming, or pollution. USA is one of the worlds largest polluters and the President doesn't give a stuff.

 

THESE are the values your gonna pass onto your kids and you know what ? the population is already 6 Billion and rising.

 

I too am just as guilty and I want to change the world by planting trees, petitioning my government to plant trees and not raising some snotty nosed brat whoe's gonna want to live off fast food and screw then planet even more.

[DN]

Moderator Note: a reminder to all members to be respectful when posting - especially respect for the views of other people.

[Siriana]

In most cases (yes, not all, I am aware of that) nature tricked us humans. We have a natural urge to have children.

hehe.

So in many cases our biological clock starts ticking.

Mine is still on stand by

But I have this feeling that at 28 I will want kids badly.

[thyroxine]

YES YES YES !!!!!!!!! I AGREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We should look after and sort our OWN problems 1st before introducing new ones.

 

WOW !!!!!!!!!!

 

This may be far-fetched, but I saw this and immediately thought of that classic saying: missing the forest for the trees. I remember having a conversation once about the space program. We constantly cut funding from NASA for social welfare and such. It won't be for a long time, but Earth is destined to be destroyed some day. The human race won't live on this planet forever. For all we know, an asteroid can solve "our problems" tomorrow!

 

Okay, like I said - that was off topic, but that's just what I was thinking.

 

Overall, this thread started out interesting. I thought people were going to respect each other's view points, but when I got to page 2, I realized I was still on the internet. Everyone thinks differently. I have this conversation with my roommate all the time. She called me an idiot for wanting to "harbor a parasite in my body." It's common knowledge among my friends that I have a family history of miscarriages and pregnancy problems. Tracing back my family tree these problems skip generations and I happen to be in the generation for both sides of my family for *all* of the problems. If I get and stay pregnant, it will be a miracle.

 

As for why I want children...call me naive, but I do truly believe one person can change the world. It might not be my child, but I know I will raise my children right. Looking back on my childhood, my parents should never been allowed to have children. But...looking back on all the harm they did me, I think I turned out a pretty decent individual. Sure, I'm currently going to therapy because I repressed a lot of the bad as a kid, but that doesn't make me any less of a good person. I see those bad experiences as being a positive thing when I raise my children (if I won't be able to have kids, I will adopt...eh, I'll probably adopt either way.) Sure, I won't be able to shape exactly what my children will become - but I know I will be a good mother and I believe that to be of some value.

 

Geez...sorry. I rambled and I don't think any of it made any sense.

[sophie274]

For those who live in the US, they are lucky enough to be free to have children or not - I truly believe that the expectation that women WILL have children is rapidly fading.

 

Regardless of the "problems of the planet", raising children is still a useful and a wonderful endeavor. My mother has several degrees, but her greatest accomplishment in life (in HER eyes) is the raising of me and my sister. She has put more effort into our upbringing, education and happiness, and she is so grateful for being able to have two healthy children. She is an example of what a wonderful gift children are for many couples, and even the 21st century with whatever problems there may be has not taken away the joy that children bring.

 

I am all for not having children (not 100% sure I will), but I think it is disrespectful to degrade the "use" of having children, and to hint that having children might be somehow "immoral" in the world we live in.

[thyroxine]

I am all for not having children (not 100% sure I will), but I think it is disrespectful to degrade the "use" of having children, and to hint that having children might be somehow "immoral" in the world we live in.

Well said!