Looks matter, Discussion (quite long, but bear with it).

[EvaGina]

I agree, Eva

 

I find my boyfriend to be the most attractive man I have ever seen (and I'm really not exagerating), and I know that is due in large part to his wonderful personality (he's smart, funny, caring, sweet, witty, etc. I could go on for hours). He might not fit into everyone else's idea of "hunk" (and yes, he does have a beer belly), but I wouldn't trade him for anyone.

 

 

I KNOW!!!

When I first met him he was an awkward teenager with bad skin, a TERIBLE haircut and un-cut toenails... I was still instantly attracted to him.

 

I saw him years later, and I knew it was him from 50 metres away... he was unwashed and hairy... but the old attraction was there from the moment I laid eyes on him.

 

You love someone for them, not for how they look.

[ghost69]

when you first met him, you saw his toenails?

[treefrogkate]

when you first met him, you saw his toenails?

 

Haha, I did: my boyfriend wears sandals year-round (yes, in Boston). It's one of the quirks I love about him.

[EvaGina]

when you first met him, you saw his toenails?

 

well, no... he was in his school uniform

I could see his nipples through his shirt... to this day that disturbs me

[SarahRose]

I don't buy that. I believe it is cultural conditioning as how do you explain how different cultures have different standards of what is considered attractive?

 

The thin is hot is only a recent phenomena. In the olden days overweight to obese was considered attractive. Most famous paintings aren't of skeleton looking women!

[Salucious]

I think for some people it is hard to understand or accept that looks don't control whether you would be accepted by the opposite sex. People who know they are physically attractive (in the broad sense) may have more confidence. For example, a girl who constantly has men approaching her and have been told they are beautiful may gain more confidence. Girls who rarely have girls approach them or hear it less may have less confidence.

 

I think it comes down to comparing yourself to others. If you want to be confident you can't do that; you gotta focus on yourself and your good qualities.

 

I know when I see other guys at my college I can get jealous and depressed that I don't have as many cute girls in my social circle, or that I don't have them wanting to be with me. But if I shut out those thoughts and think of just being myself and my own social interactions I do better.

 

there is a very cute girl in a class I have and I was partners with her once or twice. We talked just a bit, I was really just being friendly cause I knew she had a boyfriend. She actually came looking for me when she needed a partner the other day. Now if I had my old mindset of thinking girls found me unnattractive I would have never approached her in the first place, at all; I'd just be one of the other guys glancing at her throughout class but never talking to her. But now she's comfortable enough around me to be friends, and who knows, she's a freshmen; she may break up with her boyfriend (pre-college relationships tend not to last).

 

If you just put yourself out there, even just a little at a time, you'll see that most people won't dismiss you because of your looks. There are SO many girls out there, I've come to a point where I don't fixate on a few, I start thinking about how/where I can meet new ones. The more you meet, the better chances are of you meeting one who thinks you're the bee's knees.

 

I like saying bee's knees

[ghost69]

outgoing people, regardless of looks usually have better chances than others.

[JoeWho]

outgoing people, regardless of looks usually have better chances than others.

 

+ CONFIDENT

[ghost69]

pretty much the same thing. too much confidence is bad though.

[treefrogkate]

I think it comes down to comparing yourself to others. If you want to be confident you can't do that; you gotta focus on yourself and your good qualities.

 

Thank you for that. I think I'm going to make that my mantra.

[Salucious]

pretty much the same thing. too much confidence is bad though.

 

Right, some people you can tell are trying too hard, they are the people who are just seeking acceptance, which confident people don't do. My thing is that I can be confident, I'm just quiet. I'm not as outgoing as most people so it is hard for people to notice me. Then again I never felt the need to be really outgoing, I always thought a person is either naturally outgoing or they're not. If I tried to be it would most likely just look like I'm trying to impress. I'm the "strong, silent type" (if there is such a thing) I like to sit back and take it all in. I get involved when I choose to.

 

Unfotunately most girls prefer the outgoing type, I'm still waiting to meet some girls who don't need that kind of flashy personality in a guy. I'm not really looking for that type of girl either, just one who is fun, sweet, and REALLY likes me

[Leonhart]

Unfotunately most girls prefer the outgoing type, I'm still waiting to meet some girls who don't need that kind of flashy personality in a guy. I'm not really looking for that type of girl either, just one who is fun, sweet, and REALLY likes me

 

And I hope you find someone like that, as I'm sure you hope as well.

[ghost69]

visit a library on campus.

 

i think this conversation is getting off base from looks.