Goodbye, ENAers

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I wish you nothing but the best.

 

It is your decision, I respect your right to hop off the mortal coil.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Antiy? bad Antiy bad

[CynicalGuitarist]

hey, you said you posted a link with your music before...I was wondering if you could post it again, I'd love to hear it!!!

 

link removed

[CynicalGuitarist]

Tried Wal-Mart. They won't even give me a lousy interview.

[rocio]

I think everyone has the right to choose not to wake up tomorrow. It's your life, afterall. And your problems only get worse. You think it sucks that you can't find a job? What about when you have a wife and 3 kids to take care of and you lose your job and can't find a new one? What about when you invest your life's saving and lose it in the stock market? Or when your kid gets sick and you have to go into debt just to keep her alive? What about when you spend 5 years studying to get a degree, and then you can't even get a job with it? This is the crap that the people around you have to deal with every day. People die all the time. Moms, dads, friends, siblings... It sucks, huh? Welcome to life as a human being on the planet earth. It's no walk in the park. Most people figure it's worth the fight because they're able to see good stuff in the midst of all the crap. You can choose to focus on the good stuff, or you can resign yourself to giving up when you stumble upon some crap. It's your choice. I hope you stick around because you seem pretty cool.

[beh700]

link removed

 

hey! your music is great! it's really laid back (and intricate!). you definitely could go somewhere if you chose to. if i were you, i would go into a local music store, ask for an application. tell them that you are familiar with guitars and would be happy to restring, etc. on the application attach a separate note saying that you realize you don't have any job experience, but if they are unwilling to hire, you could volunteer for a few hours a week to prove that you are responsible.

 

also, you could probably get a discount to purchase the things you'll need to pursue music! in the meantime, you going to school? you could always put in a few hours with a teacher who could reference you.

 

let me know how it goes. (i'm still listening to your music! it's real good! )

[beh700]

one more question! oops! i know your mom isn't supportive of you dedicating your life to music, necessarily. but is there a middle ground you both could work on?

 

like, managing a studio or jazz club, a critic, music researcher...i'm not really sure, but these careers would let your life revolve around music, and could keep you playing your guitar while earning an income! and being in the music industry would be a sure step into pursuing your own compositions and playing!

 

just a thought.

[Dougie_D]

I really think that if you get a job, you'll feel better about yourself and your mom will be more likely to support your music.

I think most parents have a hard time supporting their childrens' dreams as they grow up. Especially in the arts....for young painters, it's the worst.

The idea of parenting is to "be there." Well, when it comes to money...I'm pretty sure they don't want to "be there." A parents biggest fear is that their children won't be able to take care of themselves. Financially, is the top one. You can't go anywhere in life, without money. That's a fact.

I wouldn't beat yourself over getting a job...but I would suggest, ever so often put in an application. Telling your mom that you really want a part-time job might help too.

Before I got my job, my parents were always on my * * * about something and wouldn't leave me alone. They didn't really care about my music.

Now, they give me more space,...and occasionaly will ask me if "I'm still playing.." and they always suggest of me "going out and jamming with people." They are willing to help out because they know if it doesn't work out...I am still paying my bills.

--- Later ---

[dil]

Tried Wal-Mart. They won't even give me a lousy interview.

 

maybe it's your resume, if you want I can look over it. Send it over.

 

my email: email removed

[dil]

Guys these are not appropriate responses.

 

Cynical is talking about things that are difficult to express. Stop jumping down his throat.

 

I agree.

 

I'm utterly disgusted with some of the responses on this thread. If you have a personal vendetta against suicidal people who don't 'deserve' to be suicidal or sad about their life, take your angst elsewhere.

 

Some of these people are just kicking a man when he's down. Stop it, it's ridiculous.

[CynicalGuitarist]

maybe it's your resume, if you want I can look over it. Send it over.

 

my email: email removed

 

Thanks, but the closest walmart (there isn't another one in at least another 10 mile radius of me) uses a stupid machine to hire employees. It said that the answers I gave on the hypothetical questions weren't suitable. Since I'm very bad at tests (aka, using the left brain), I never deliver satisfactory answers and always fail them.

[dil]

Thanks, but the closest walmart (there isn't another one in at least another 10 mile radius of me) uses a stupid machine to hire employees. It said that the answers I gave on the hypothetical questions weren't suitable. Since I'm very bad at tests (aka, using the left brain), I never deliver satisfactory answers and always fail them.

 

Do you remember anything about the questions? I have no idea how I could help in that area, but I guess I'm just curious now

 

(well I could try..but that'd be like the blind leading the blind..hehe...or I could ask my brother, he's good at psychology)

[Dougie_D]

I actually work at a Sam's Club...but I'm pretty sure it's the same test.

The whole test is about how honest a person is and how much you might rat on someone...

As long as you don't give a "high rating" on the most absurd ones...like "yeah, I would smoke weed before I clocked in"... or " yeah, If I found some beer while I worked I would drink it and not tell anyone."

Also,...Walmart won't hire unless they are looking for employees. I had applied at Sam's Club twice before I got it. The third time was when they put a "classified ad" looking for help.

CARTS and CASHIERS are the easiest to get a job. Carts --- no one wants to do crap in the rain, thereforeeee no one really applies....and Cashiers --- the turnover is crazy....2 warnings and you are pretty much gone.

Good Luck! ---

[anna0511]

hey, just wanted to say that i really enjoyed your music and good luck.

[JimmerJammer]

CynicalGuitarist,

 

Hey man by reading through your posts I can say that the part I feel we connect is the desire to want to end it. Man there is so much greed, corruption, hurt, pain, loss, manipulation, control and hatred in this world. Its sickening to know what goes on in this world and how we as a society ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN! We sit idly by and go "ok I know what's going on, but there's nothing I can do about it" so we let every leader and industry out there dictate what's expected of us.

 

How we look, act, are, etc. Basically we're told how to conform and if we don't do it, we're stuck with the scraps or left with the option of either killing ourselves to get out or to become slaves through blue-collar work.

 

Now what does this have to do with anything? Well nothing exactly but when you put everything that goes on in this world together you get a pretty grim picture at times. In fact its a wonder to me how people continue on with their lives sometimes when its heart breaking to know what goes on. But we do it. We hang on and we continue to strive for something that never seems to come because we care more about the fact that we have a dream even when we don't obtain it.

 

One thing that starts to come to mind is evidence that is presented to us in daily life. When we get seemingly attacked from multiple areas and feel like someone is invading our personal space, well it feels a lot like a wound that gets bigger and bigger each time with us feeling closer and closer to feel dead on the inside. Pair that up with the fact that we seem to meet with failure or problems on a regular basis and we start to come and expect that is what will happen to us. We basically expect things to end horribly and for things to go poorly and well when you're that uncertain about yourself, its no wonder things don't work out.

 

Life is tough and sure others have it harder than we do but that doesn't make it any easier for what the rest of us have to go through. People can say what they want about you man and make it out all they want about how selfish you are and how hateful you're being towards others as a result of your behaviour, but I know I was more wanting an out or a way to relieve myself of the suffering I was going through. It seemed like I was doing it intentionally to get attention from others when the attention I was seeking was really a guide to help me find what I was looking for only I didn't know what that was.

 

Eventually though man if you want things to get better or if you want your life to change you gotta stop wishing for things to change and start looking at what you want changed. When you can take a moment to say you've had enough of everything and work to not deal with it anymore instead of looking for a way out to not deal with it, well then you're ahead and will eventually be capable of focusing on things you didn't think were possible before. I found people were often very self-absorbed in their own little world that all they could ever do was get mad at me and never see fault in their own behaviour. It wasn't necessary for my growth, but to change my mind I had to change myself and how I dealt with who I was. IT wasn't easy and I still felt very lost at the beginning, but I started looking for what I really wanted if I was alone in this world with all the time I could ever spend and enough money to never worry about running out of it again. When you begin asking yourself what you'd really want, start figuring out how to get it instead of being tempted to ask the question well how do I do it because our minds do better at finding solutions when we consciously try to figure out how to get it as opposed to just hoping the answer will come to us.

 

I really can't expect my words to change your mind about anything, but I truly hope what I've said has spoken some truth and at least has done enough to help you open yourself up a bit and look at an aspect of you you may not have even had known was there after all these years.

[Bethany]

You say that your dad passed away, surely you know the immeasurable pain of that loss so why would you put your mum through that? Surely you saw her suffer as you have and still do, I don't understand why you would even consider it after that?

 

And I just don't understand this.... why are you at 19 even asking her for permission on how to spend your own money? I know you love your mum very much and her opinion means alot to you, and I also have teenage children of my own and all I can say is that my own kids buy whatever they like regardless of my opinion. All I can do as their mum is speak out and say what I think is best for them as I always have their best interests at heart but at the end of the day, it's their life and I cannot live it for them...they have to live it the way that they want and I have to understand that and support them in their decision. I guess I don't get it.

[Spugly Fuglet]

CynicalGuitarist.

 

Some how your going to have to change, some thing is going to have to start and grow inside you, that skin you wear of pain, loss and lonlyness has to fall away, thinking you are a loser to the point of ending your life and any chance of change its the last act of some one despiret to be seen by others as a loser, well I have another plan, GO MAD! that's right wave good by to the sad sick world of sanity that's made you have such pain and say hello to the new world of dilushnal madness. In this new world your not! a loser your ****ing grate, your a star, your a winner! its just the reast of the world has not woken to this fact, ever see a ROCK GOD on stage, the own that stage, they know that's where they should be, and that's what I'm offering here with my one time deal of MADDNESS, next time you go for a job remember you own! that job, you can do it so well its a joke. When you meet a girl she will see your grateness and how could she not fall for you, and if she dos not that's fine shes just not clued up yet on just how grate you are.

 

See, the sain world is a huge place where your just a piple on the butt of fate, but in the MAD world evey thing spins around you, cus your that Amassing, that grate, your fun to be with, when your around cool stuff happons, could be any thing but its all ways cool. When others look you jump, you have no fear, why should you your nuts, when some one meets you, you make them feel good about them selfs, they walk away happy to have met you. You care for others when no other dos, you stand for what you believe in and rats to the rest. You do mad inposive things, give flows to woman in the street, sing songs on the side walk, make art just for the hell of it.

 

See sain your world is boring small on dull, but mad yiu world can be any thing you like.

 

so what you say.

[BT_Surrender]

hey man,

listen along the lines of music....

that's your ticket man...do you write songs?

i play guitar myself and I find that no matter how pissed I am, I can always go back to my guitar and it makes me feel a lot better...

and to me (except for certain circumstances) it seems like you have a pretty decent life... Everyone gets picked on at one point or another, as they say (and I aplogise for profanity), but s**t happens, but it's how you overcome them that makes you strong, and I can be here scolding you or trying to build your esteem up, but it starts with you man...screw what everyone thinks of you. Let the music be your expression...if that's your true passion and you honestly think you can take it somewhere, move and find a place that accepts you for who you are....sit down with your mom, explain to her maturely how you feel and what you want in life, and if she still can't accept it and support your decision then you need to move on...

One thing you also have to realize (I don't know if you have siblings) but your mom is also really relying on you to be with her especially since she just lost her husband (my apologies), but just don't let this road block take you away from music...

why don't you get a job at the music store? lol you can get some discounts on half stacks and all the sort and you can get to do what you love all day long..

[BT_Surrender]

hey man,

I was checking out your myspace (sorry I was curious)

and I saw your guitar playing...I must say i'm impressed, I was expecting you to be some like metal shredder or emo rocker (nothing against those two groups) but you had a maturity to your playing, the whole jazz guitar was amazing.... and I could tell you had great taste the second I heard the chilipeppers blare on your page lol

anyways man, you seem like a cool dude, get out there, hit your local music scene and play...

p.s. what kind of guitar do you play? I've been looking into buying a new one and i'm just triyng to look around at any random guitar possible

[BT_Surrender]

wait is it an Iceman you have?!

I think you just gotta find a mature crowd, not a lot of people our age apprecaite that style of music

[bozzman]

Dude unless you are lying in the hospital dieing from cancer with your last breath you are not too far gone you can always come back until you are dead. Trust me you have a lot more to live for than most people. I mean give me a break you live in America you have freedom. what about the people that are homeless have no family, no life, and no opportunity to have what you want. do me a favor and buy the movie The Secret. Don't give up man we all love you and we are pulling for you. Heck we don't even know you and none of us want you to die. Why? WE CARE ABOUT YOU!!!

 

email removed EMAIL ME i will give you a reason to live.

[MewSkitty]

I've been gone a long time and usualy don't have much to say, but I feel you are worth it. I'm very tired right now and can't think of the right thing to say at the moment made just for you, so I'll give general advice. Life is hard and life will hurt. If you go alone you take all the damage and pain. Go through life with other people and share the joy and the pain. Sometimes all you need is one good friend, or someone to say just the right words and your view point on life can turn around. No one can do it for you, but a lot of people are willing to help. Just look at this thread, nearly 100 posts of people who want YOU to live! They don't want you to suffer and most are offering the best help they can offer to help you. Online all people can offer you is words, but a lot of times words are all people need. I once tried killing myself and came close to doing it more than once, but decided not to. I never had a single friend offline, but online I met some of the best people, but also some bad people as well. Life is not all good, nor is it all bad. You just have to take control and look at the side you want to. Will you join the dark side or become a Jedi? Sorry for the Star Wars refrence. Anyways, if you look at the bad no one will want to follow you, but if you look at the good a lot of people will join your side.

[CynicalGuitarist]

FYI, my parents divorced when I was 4.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Hay CynicalGuitarist how it going?

[CynicalGuitarist]

Hay CynicalGuitarist how it going?

 

could be better, could be worse. But still alive and kickin' for now.