Living Alone, What do you do?

[munchies]

Hi,

Just about to move out and live on my own for the first time (I am male in mid 20s). I am moving to a new area where I only know three people.

 

I am moving out of family home for the first time and to be honest I am a bit aprehensive of how I will cope when living alone.

 

I am single at the moment also and fearful I may turn into a bit of a recluse and see no one except my work colleagues - who I do not socialise with (they are all much older).

 

One of the people I know in the area has been very much in favour of me moving and she talks a lot of sense and I really do like her company and her attitude on life. Without her I would not really be so close to moving but do not want to get ahead of myself about possibilities with this girl, who I really do like. And she does seem to like me, or spending time with me. So she is main reason for me wanting my own space I suppose.

 

But despite this it is surely a good thing for me to branch out for a bit of personal development - I am in my mid 20s and still living at home afterall!

 

What do people living alone get up to to beat the boredom and loneliness?

[Jetta]

Have you considered searching craigslist or the newspaper for a roommate? Living alone isn't so easy, we need socialization, human companionship, etc. Do you have people you can call regularly? I did the live alone thing and I'm not the most social either. It was fine when I was working but it did get lonely.

[astaro]

do you like dogs?

[annie24]

join some clubs or a gym. go to a coffeeshop regularly so you start to get to know those people. sign up for some classes like cooking or dance, if you are looking to meet women.

[munchies]

Thanks for all the replies so far. Just to clarify situation slightly the area I am moving to is quite rural - I live in a remote part of the UK. And I am quite shy as well when it comes to meeting new people.

 

I like this notion of my own space and I guess it is kind of linked to the fact that I am in a point in my life where I want some female company. Maybe in an ideal world I would stay at home with parents and live with my sister and her BF during the week for the social aspect. But then if I want to seriously go about meeting and enjoying the company of women (watching a dvd, listening to music, etc) then I think I do need my own place. I really would like to see this happen with this girl I am seeing at the moment but must not get hopes up as I could fall flat on my face and in reality turn into a bit of a mess.

 

PS Renting and pets are not an option - would love to have a cat or a dog.

[vandgsmom]

If you live in a rural area, (and I do , too) the only way to get to know everyone is to either just pay a social call to introduce yourself or to get outside and be visible.

 

Ride your bike along the road and stop to say hello to everyone outside, work in the lawn, wave at people alot.

Those that are receptive will talk and you can exchange info.

Host a neighbor party when it gets warmer and invite everyone for a few miles around....

[lizziebee]

At first living alone was, well, lonely! But then I found this great little deli/breakfast nook in my neighborhood old timers and new-timers alike would go in and chat about current events, todays news etc...Then I started to venture out on walks on the beach, movies by myself (which I love to do anytime), the library, anything that would take me out. Sometimes I had to force myself to do it but I would always follow through because I would try to plan as much as possible. The family is close by but you have to count on you for your own entertainment and peace of mind...I started going out in the evening to little tiny clubs that had local talent and soon I started meeting people who were living alone. I love my solitude, always have, and I will always find a way to get it even when I move in with the b/f which is soon. You will be ok. Being here is a great place for ideas and thoughts, getting out of your head if you will...Take care of you..be good to yourself.

[rocio]

Three friends is a good start. When you have even just 1 or 2 friends, you can make more friends. You can go to the local pub together and casually chat with others. (That's must harder to do when you're alone. You feel self-conscious and weird just talking to strangers.) Try to take things slow with this girl. Keep it friendly and casual at first and try to meet some of her friends. Ask your other friends to introduce you to people they know.

 

As far as dealing with the loneliness, make yourself a routine. Go for a walk each evening around the same time. Get some cookbooks and take time each night preparing supper and learning to make new dishes (instead of just throwing something in the microwave and eating it in front of the t.v.) Especially on weekends, make sure you have things planned to go and do every day.

 

Also, keep your home clean (you can easily get depressed when your home is messy and you have no motivation to clean it).

[FrancisHouseman]

i wont lie to you, i found it hard.

 

i needed to move out, i had turned 23 and I was far too old to be living "under my roof, under my rule!" so I moved out. Had to move out alone as all my friends were in relationships and I was the only single one, I didnt want a couple practically living with me making me feel like a gooseberry.

 

At first, I revelled in the peace and quiet! I could sit up late and watch what i wanted on TV. could have a bath and wander around naked with my music on as loud as i wanted while i got dry, got dressed. cooked myself nice meals, or had naughty take aways. No one to point out if i fancied a beer after work. no one to moan about how much I was smoking (I have since given up).

 

After a few months I began to feel a bit poo about it. especially if my friends were busy and some weekends i wouldnt live the house because i had no reason to. no one to visit, nothing to do. I would lie on the sofa watching DVDs and drinking bottle after bottle of wine until I fell asleep. (I wasnt an alcoholic, its the British culture thing.. watch Bridget Jones! ha ha)

 

anyway in the end i decided to get off my bottom and join a college course. I made some cool single friends. It also kept me busy because i had tons of homework to do, I worked in the week full time still so appreociated my evenings alone more rather than finding it lonely.

 

I also joined an online dating site and met the guy i now live with in a nice house and i am nearing the end of my college course.

 

although I found it hard and sometimes lonely, moving out on my own was the best thing I ever did for myself.

 

Good luck mate!

[Dako]

All of the suggestions above are excellent ideas. I've just begun living alone for the first time in 25 years. It's a wonderful way to sort your life out and learn new skills.

I've been enjoying cooking, walking and hanging out in public places.

Keeping your place tidy is a must, so you don't live in sad surroundings.

[renaissancewoman101]

Whatever you do, when you do live alone, you must go out and socialize. That will help keep you from getting depressed and down on yourself. I've been living alone for the last 10 years. I like living alone since I like the solitude, but this year, living alone has been sad for me, probably since I also moved to a new city and am having a hard time socializing. I somewhat solved that by going back to school to work on my MAT degree and by taking a water aerobics class.

[munchies]

Thanks for all the replies it is much appreciated, keep them coming the more informed I am the better.

 

At the moment I am still a bit torn as to whether I should make the move or not. Guess it is just that unknown element.

 

I know I must go out and socialise but I find this very difficult and to make it clearer two of the people I know are family and really they have no friends that I do not have. I fear I am pinning too much hope on this girl to widen my social circle and also things developing between us.