Is online dating just a lot of sex hook ups???

[herewegoagain]

My friends always tell me how they meet women on link removed, etc. It seems like all of my buddies who use that site always hook up (sex) within 1-2 dates?

 

Is this the norm?

 

Is it just a sex hook up website?

 

Just curiious. Thanks

[ScreenagerX]

Don't know if its the norm, I only did it for a couple of months, but of the three women I met on a dating site here I slept with all three of them within 1 or 2 times of meeting them. One of them even set me up with a friend of hers (that I slept with aswell) after things didn't work out between us.

[Beec]

Not necessarily, and are your buddies to be believed?

 

I have not been on in a few years, but when I was I met and dated women without hooking up in one of two dates.

[BellaDonna]

I never did the online dating thing- but there are many members on this site who have met their spouses and log-term partners online, and they are in serious committed relationships. So I guess it all depends what people are looking for when they put their profile on an online dating site.

 

BellaDonna

[herewegoagain]

Yes, i believe them. It just seems very common for hook ups. I was just curious because I never tried an online dating site.

[annie24]

"sex hookups" has never been my experience nor that of my friends' experiences overall. like bella said, depends on what a person is looking for and what they put into their profile.

 

hmmm... i wonder if some of your friends are...... exaggerating.....?

[ScreenagerX]

So I guess it all depends what people are looking for when they put their profile on an online dating site

 

Well in my profile I had 'looking for friendship' & so did the women I met

[annie24]

Well in my profile I had 'looking for friendship' & so did the women I met

 

not just that, also, the general "tone" of the profile. ie, flirty/sexual/or mild.

[JoeWho]

I don't think that meeting people through an on-line dating service has any less or more of a chance for an immediate hook up than if you met someone at a bar or club. It's all about what you are looking for, not where you are looking for it.

[skyblue1]

With my experience most men that i have dated just tried getting me in bed Getting very annoyed with it. In my eyes i don't think dating online works very well for me.

[Orlander]

Joe's got it there. It depends on what you are looking for. Your friends, herewe, probably were looking for profiles with that general "come get some" vibe.

 

I've met a few women from Match that I could tell were wanting to just casually date someone.

 

 

Orlander

[coollady1957]

I agree with the others that have said that it all depends on what someone is looking for. Some people are there just for " hook ups" and one night stands for sex.

 

Many are there for truly finding a partner or mate. I have briefly done the on line date sites , and made some friends there, but never really connected with any of them.

 

I do have a family member that met the lady that is now his wife on eHarmony. They were matched up there and it worked out wonderfully . They married and now have a 6 month old baby son.

 

I know of a few friends that had horrible experiences trying to find people that were not just there for the sex.

 

So I guess it could go either way as far as why many people are on line singles sites.

[ScreenagerX]

not just that, also, the general "tone" of the profile. ie, flirty/sexual/or mild.

 

Trust me, mine wasn't like that at all. Not that it matters now as in the end I met someone the more traditional way anyway, in person.

[hosswhispra]

My friends always tell me how they meet women on link removed, etc. It seems like all of my buddies who use that site always hook up (sex) within 1-2 dates?

 

Is this the norm?

 

Is it just a sex hook up website?

 

Just curiious. Thanks

 

Yes, I believe your friends are correct. I am not going to go further...just leave it at that Oh one more thing, my 'pet' name for link removed is link removed....

[hosswhispra]

I do have a family member that met the lady that is now his wife on eHarmony. They were matched up there and it worked out wonderfully . They married and now have a 6 month old baby son.

 

Match vs. eHarmony I think is a totally different ball game...at least out on the northeast coast...

[hosswhispra]

Trust me, mine wasn't like that at all. Not that it matters now as in the end I met someone the more traditional way anyway, in person.

 

"In person" the traditional way...i.e., the 'best way'...at least in my opinion.

[Cadence308]

I think online dating can be used as a hook up website. It probably depends on the site. When I dated men about 5 years ago I was on link removed for a while and then hot or not. I went on TONS of dates, but never hooked up with any of them. Maybe because I wasn't into the dating men thing. Some of the guys I went out with from those sites would hint at sex, etc., but never happened. lol

[Beec]

Wow, a few years ago I met a few women on link removed, all Jan 2003 or so or earlier and did not have the experience. I met a number once and never saw them again, because I was not interested. But of the ones i saw more than once, there was not a one that I slept with within 2 dates.

[hosswhispra]

Wow, a few years ago I met a few women on link removed, all Jan 2003 or so or earlier and did not have the experience. I met a number once and never saw them again, because I was not interested. But of the ones i saw more than once, there was not a one that I slept with within 2 dates.

 

Alot has changed in 4 years

[_AC_]

I met a girl on eHarmony, and when we moved into open communication I did a google search on her name and city.... and her link removed profile turned up. I noticed she's active on there every day, and she got upset when I asked her about her match profile.

 

I'm not looking for sex before marriage, as I think it would be a distraction and confusion to the process of finding that special person - but all this girl has talked about ever since we got talking outside of eHarmony is sexual stuff.

 

She admitted to sleeping with a guy before breaking up w/ him - all within 5 dates - and less than a month before meeting me on eHarmony! If we lived in the same city I'm thinking I would have had ample opportunity to hook up with her in one way or another by now.

[Beec]

Alot has changed in 4 years

 

Maybe, but I'd bet it works such that plenty of people on match date to date and see if something serious happens. I know there are men and women on line fine with and looking to do that, but there have to be men and women looking for more. Of course, one of the tests guys impose on women is the sex test. Have it too soon with us, and you are not worth any serious.

[andyg]

I only tried it once, met a sexy girl who didn't want to have sex on the first date but she was all about going down on me. The next day she tells me that she has herpes and that she's waiting till she gets married for sex but that if I want to be with her I can have blojobs whenever I want... I didn't take her out again and became infinitely more aware of STD's

[i1dr]

I think there is a broad spectrum of people who go online and thus a broad spectrum of posibilities. I imagine that 70 percent of the guys have sex as as a serious motivator to go the online route and about 25 percent of the women. So I'm sure there are hookups a plenty - but there are a gazzilion hookups a day on this planet so I wonder if it's much higher a chance for insta-sex than the normal routes.

The big question is however - do you really want it with someone who takes that route.

Ladies ... is it not amazing how a guy will always think he is special and the only one - when within twentyof meeting she is screwing his brain out. Then they get mad ... at the mear thought that she is with his best friend later. Ok ... pehaps I'm a bit cynical here ... but still it seems like the thought of a insta-hookup should not be thought of in revered terms like it's better than sliced bread.

[Beec]

Ladies ... is it not amazing how a guy will always think he is special and the only one - when within twentyof meeting she is screwing his brain out. Then they get mad ... at the mear thought that she is with his best friend later. Ok ... pehaps I'm a bit cynical here ... but still it seems like the thought of a insta-hookup should not be thought of in revered terms like it's better than sliced bread.

 

Actually, the man that gets sex too quickly will normally consider that woman good for that ngiht of sex and little else. She is not sufficiently selective and in control of her sexual urges to be considered worthy of being a mate for life. Men are wired to think she is more likely to cheat, if we want to admit that or not. The woman who waits until you are both emotionally invovled she has a chance of being faithful.

[Batya33]

I met over 100 men in person, I dated over a dozen more than three times, and close to 10 more than 4 times and several for 2-3 months. Out of those only one pressured me for s_x early on and we ended things - twice - because of it - after about 7 weeks each time, a year apart. I never had s_x with anyone I met online. I probably had email or phone contact with hundreds of men over the 5 year period. S_x talk from them or crossing the line flirting (because we were strangers) was a significant reason I would refuse to meet those who I declined to meet. So, perhaps out of the 200 I didn't meet (approximately) maybe a third of those or more was because they behaved inappropriately on the phone or on e-mail.

 

There were at least 100 more if not more who sent me inappropriate e-mails or IMs which I blocked. I was very picky on this point - for example, if a man asked me what kind of pajamas I liked to wear - in the first conversation, a red flag would go up and I would decline to meet because I found that question disrespectful and too suggestive. If he told me about his favorite scene from sex and the city that had to do with a s_x act I would decline to meet, etc.

 

So, sure, it can be a place for hook ups but if you want a relationship, all you need to do is weed out the ones who are interested only in hooking up, and be a very good listener on the phone. And, decline to IM with a stranger because often they want to IM to have s_x talk. Rather, email once or twice, have a brief phone call and meet in person in a public place during the day.