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[darkpumpkin]

General question: If you invited someone out to dinner and told them it was their pick should they pick the most expensive place and order the most expensive thing they can.

[renaissancewoman101]

No, I think that is tacky and speak of no manners. If someone else was taking me out to dinner, I would choose a place that I liked, that wasn't pricy or anything like that, and I would order something ordinary, NOTHING expensive.

 

Otherwise, people are going to get a bad impression of you or think you are a gold digger.

[southerngirl]

Has someone done this to you?

[luvursmile]

Definitely not. Pick something moderate & eat something sensible....unless its a rich relative or something.

[Suesser Tod]

If they pick the most expensive place and dish, I would consider that extremely abusive.

 

If I were in that situation, I would pick some average place and dish, something I could afford by myself and also, try to make sure it is not abusive torwards the other person.

[rocio]

When a guy asks me to pick the place, I usually give him about 3 options to choose from. Like, "well, i haven't had sushi in a while so we could go to ____. But I've also been craving Italian lately. Maybe we could go to ___. Which of those do you feel like?" Also, I wait for him to suggest appetizers and drinks instead of going ahead and racking up a huge bill.

[kellbell]

Hey Darkpumpkin,

 

If someone invited me out to dinner and he/she told me it was my choice, I would not automatically pick the most expensive place to go nor would I go for the most expensive item on the menu. I usually pick what I am in the mood for. I would feel a tad bit tacky and taking advantage if I went for the pricier places.

[anggrace]

No, I don't think thats right. It sounds selfish to me. Unless that person specifically told you price was not an issue, it was a very special occasion and you just really really wanted that dish that just happens to be the most expensive. But even then, Id offer to pay for drinks or something.

[darkpumpkin]

I just received my visa in the mail. I asked my boyfriend if he would like to go for dinner. His pick, my treat. I wrote an email saying I didn't want to spend $100 on dinner though. Lol well he ended up ordering 2 appatizers, 2 beers, a 30 dollar entree. I ordered water and a $10 entree so I wasn't paying 100 bucks.

[kellbell]

Yup, it sounded like he took advantage and ate like a king. Two appetizers and a $30 entree??? Sheesh....

[Scotcha]

In most situations I agree with the other posters but I think there are some circumstances where picking someplace fancy is appropriate. Case in point: A few months ago I wanted to treat my fiance to a really fancy dinner so I told him to pick a restaurant that he watned to go to. And like the other poster's suggested he picked a moderate place that we both liked.. I had to nudge him a little before he realized I wanted to take him someplace expensive and really nice.

 

I think though, unless the person treating you tells you otherwise, it is best to tone down your expensive taste.

[Scotcha]

I just received my visa in the mail. I asked my boyfriend if he would like to go for dinner. His pick, my treat. I wrote an email saying I didn't want to spend $100 on dinner though. Lol well he ended up ordering 2 appatizers, 2 beers, a 30 dollar entree. I ordered water and a $10 entree so I wasn't paying 100 bucks.

 

How rude! The only excuse for this would be an incapability of computing simple addition. What makes it worse is that you even specified a price!

[rocio]

Tell him that next weekend, it's your turn to pick the place, and his turn to pay. Order steak and lobster and see how he feels.

 

Or, a more mature response might be to sit him down and say, "look, I feel like you took advantage of my generosity."

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Definitely don't stay quiet about this, go to him and tell him how you feel.

[darkpumpkin]

I told him at dinner. "I won't be treating for a while" and he was like "I never asked you to". lol i just have to laugh. I do have quite a selfish boyfriend but sometimes it just amazes me lol.

[shes2smart]

General question: If you invited someone out to dinner and told them it was their pick should they pick the most expensive place and order the most expensive thing they can.

 

If it happened to me, I learn 2 things from it:

 

1. Do not extend an open-ended offer like that to this person again.

 

2. Not everyone operates with the same set of ideas about what's appropriate, so it's up to me to clearly state what my expectations and boundaries are.

[darkpumpkin]

If it happened to me, I learn 2 things from it:

 

1. Do not extend an open-ended offer like that to this person again.

 

2. Not everyone operates with the same set of ideas about what's appropriate, so it's up to me to clearly state what my expectations and boundaries are.

 

lol I did. I said I did not want to spend 100 dollors. I even gave him the price range of 30-50.

[EvaGina]

a. the person probably want to look "sophisticated"

b. the person probably has some weird ideals...

 

plus its RUDE!!!

[shes2smart]

lol I did. I said I did not want to spend 100 dollors. I even gave him the price range of 30-50.

 

Didn't see that.

 

Well. So much for setting boundaries.

 

I'm extremely cheap....er...frugal....er...thrifty.... No, the honest truth is I'm cheap. If a bf went that far over what I said I wanted to spend, I don't know how much longer I'd be with him. Depending on what his other monetary habits were like, it might be a huge area of incompatibility. Money (and how it is spent or not) is an area couples commonly argue about. Not really how I want to spend my time. But, that's just me. You may be more tolerant of him spending your money.

 

I married a relatively frugal person. I think there'd be a lot more disagreements if I hadn't.

[BellaDonna]

I even gave him the price range of 30-50

 

Maybe he thought you mean per entree?

 

This would not bother me if it was the person's birthday or celebration for some major special event (i.e. graduating school, a promotion, etc...) But for just an average dinner date it seems excessive.

 

Personally if someone told me I could pick wherever I wanted to go- I would keep price in mind for their sake and choose a medium-level place- not cheap or low grade- but not too fancy either. Once there I'd ask them what they were ordering before I chose my item from the menu. (i.e. I would not order a prime rib dinner and drinks if all they were ordering was a salad and water.)

 

BellaDonna

[darkpumpkin]

See I like spending money. But I also like knowing I'm not going to be in debt till I die. Or that when I retire I won't be eating cat food. He's 30 and basically owes almost 10,000 on 2 credit cards plus he's leasing to own his house. But justifies his debt by saying. "I own a condo". Lol I was thinking I could spend the rest of my days with this man. Until I realized his spending habits lol.

[BellaDonna]

Finances can be a major cause of divorce and relationship demise, so it's good that you are thinking about these things now.

 

BellaDonna

[BeStrongBeHappy]

if it is specifically a special dinner (birthday or anniversary), and you tell them 'sky's the limit', then it is fine if they choose an expensive place and/or entree...

 

but if they just pick something overly expensive by default, without asking you, or specifically go really expensive when you have told them the limit is less, then i say that person is selfish, inconsiderate, AND passive aggressive...

 

really, your boyfriend really made sure he ate up and above his $50 'half' of the $100 you said was too expensive... and didn't seem to care if his gluttony meant you didn't get to eat much... RED FLAG and user alert!!!

[darkpumpkin]

Lol I've started suspecting that may be the case. I've introduced the new "going dutch" rule. I don't mind going out but I sleep better knowing I'm paying for me. Lol he used to treat me all the time. Hell when he found out about the visa he's like "baby lets go to vegas and I'll pay you back". sort of rude of me but I laughed in his face.

[rocio]

It doesn't sound like you're under any illusions about his spending habits. It also sounds like you're not too bothered by it all, and maintain a sense of humor. It sounds like, if anyone can handle this guy, it's you.