Suspect boyfriend is fooling around...

[saucysenorita]

This is going to sound so bad but I've gained access to my boyfriends e-mail accounts and myspace account. I found out that he's been talking with other girls whom he knows personally but on a much more 'deeper' level. I have proof that he's taken their 'friend' relationship TOO far. How can I approach him about this without saying, "Hun, I've been able to access your accounts and I know what you've been doing." HELP! I'm going crazy. If I ask him about something, he gets all defensive and he always gives me the line, "Don't you trust me?" which is starting to piss me off.

 

I've also looked on his phone and have seen a few calls to this one girl and his text message box has been emptied daily (which never used to happen). He also received an e-mail from one of the girls saying that she can't stop thinking about him and that she really likes him etc and that she's getting more comfortable around him so he should watch out. I then saw in his e-mail account (in the trash bin) that he had LOTS of pictures from this girl (nothing bad, just pictures, a couple of her backside..etc). HELP ME!!!!

[HellFrost666]

How did you get access to his accounts?

 

The fact that he gets so defensive whenever confronted even in a passive way makes him look really guilty.

[saucysenorita]

I had put a key tracker on his computer for a few days... I had to! I knew something was up.

[Meow18]

Why do you need an explaination? You already know he's unfaithful. You don't need him to say it, you already have the proof.

 

What are you hoping will happen here? you bring it up with him and he is completely honest with you and cleans up his act and never does it again? Cause honestly, that's not very likely. Especially not if he's lied to you in the past.

[DropToZero]

I know it sounds bad, but you did go way past your boundaries in finding this out...even though in the end you seem to have found something out that you need to know. If he gets defensive, oh well, you found out. I'd just tell him you caught him, dont tell him how, and get out of it as soon as possible. But...even if you do tell him how you found out, it won't matter, it's not like things are going to end "well," so you dont have to feel bad about how you found out. It's bad that someone could cheat, it's even worse when they're lying about it...so, this isn't someone you really want to be with.

[EvaGina]

you put a key tracker on his comp?

if he wasnt cheating he would have grounds to dump you.

 

just dump him, if you just suddenly stopped talking to him i wonder if he would even care... hes obviously got thers lined up

 

apart from that, I would message the other girls and tell them what he is doing. Not to be a cow, but they deserve to know if he is a low life

[starlight]

You aren't in a situtation where if 'evidence may be withheld because of the way it was found'. Stuff him. Don't worry about what he's says. dump him and find a nice man.

[HellFrost666]

Even if you do find a nice guy, be aware that even nice guys will be annoyed with you if you continue to snoop like this. I don't know if this is consistant behavior in all your relationships or not. But if my girlfriend was always going through my phone and putting keyloggers on my compter I would get pretty pissed after a while.

 

I have never cheated, and don't plan to, but privacy is something we are all entitled to. IMO.

 

Sorry to sound so harsh, but I had to say it.

[EvaGina]

You know what gets me with this?

A guy posted a thread almost exactly like this, and he got a major ear-bashing compared to what we are giving this girl.

 

ITS JUST AS BAD... no, what this girl has done is WORSE that what the guy did. The guy just came accross a diary and read it on a whim, AND he felt terrible about it afterwards.

 

This girl deliberatly plans to hack into her bfs comp... and she gets "find a better man"...

 

saucysenorita... if you dont trust someone, leave them

I dont even know why you posted this topic, you have proof he is cheating, so break up with him.

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

pretty much everyone is right as far as you having your proof.. Dump him and care less tomorrow. Obviously if he's communicating with this girl in every way possible then why even bother to go through a full out explanation with him. Kick him to the curve and move on and i also agree with eva about telling them whats been going on because 9 times out of 10 they know nothing about you. He's probably feeding them the same lines he feeds you. Never be the other woman be the only woman.. and its not worth crying over so dont waste your time.

[Kalika]

He should have gotten dumped before you had any proof whatsoever.. Because either A) You were right and he was cheating, or B) You were wrong, but paranoid, and so you were not ready for a relationship with him because of unfounded trust issues.

 

Leave him, he's a liar and he's probably a cheat, and worst of all, he's making you lose your dignity.

[Rabican]

I know it sounds bad, but you did go way past your boundaries in finding this out...even though in the end you seem to have found something out that you need to know. If he gets defensive, oh well, you found out. I'd just tell him you caught him, dont tell him how, and get out of it as soon as possible. But...even if you do tell him how you found out, it won't matter, it's not like things are going to end "well," so you dont have to feel bad about how you found out. It's bad that someone could cheat, it's even worse when they're lying about it...so, this isn't someone you really want to be with.

 

NONSENSE & RUBBISH!

 

She knew something was up, and she was right. IF the police have evidence that you committed a crime, they dont ask you once, and when you deny it say "oh ok, cool we will just take your word for it"

Her gut told her something was amiss, and in real life, where our real lives, emotions, etc. are involved we have to go with what is real. The only thing that matters here is what she knows. Not how she knows it.

 

My opinion is that you either end it. Or confront him, and just tell him he has two choices, you break up or he shapes up and stops acting like hes single. IF he wants to be mad at you for snooping then he can leave.

[DropToZero]

NONSENSE & RUBBISH!

 

She knew something was up, and she was right. IF the police have evidence that you committed a crime, they dont ask you once, and when you deny it say "oh ok, cool we will just take your word for it"

Her gut told her something was amiss, and in real life, where our real lives, emotions, etc. are involved we have to go with what is real. The only thing that matters here is what she knows. Not how she knows it.

 

My opinion is that you either end it. Or confront him, and just tell him he has two choices, you break up or he shapes up and stops acting like hes single. IF he wants to be mad at you for snooping then he can leave.

 

lol yeah I agree with the fact she should get out of it....no matter the circumstances.

 

anyways...dont compare relationship trust to police investigations. In this case, she was right...but if she had been wrong, and found nothing incriminating(if this was YOU), how badly would you feel about your privacy being invaded?

[valiantv]

You put a key-tracker on his computer?

 

I knew something was up.

 

You don't exactly have the moral high-ground! Both of you broke the other's trust.

 

But if you knew before you put the key-tracker on his computer then why not use whatever evidence you had then?

 

I agree with Eva though... Consider yourselves even.

 

If you want hold on to him (if you don't, just dump him), don't bring it up. Find out what you aren't doing that's causing him to have these "deep" talks... You have some of the info anyway from the key-tracker! Whatever they were talking about should give you insight into how he's feeling

[lizziebee]

I had put a key tracker on his computer for a few days... I had to! I knew something was up.

 

Ok what is a key tracker? I found my bf intensely e-boffing serious FLIRTING with some babes(?) from the website we met on....I too grabbed his password but only because he wrote it down. I am practically living here and he goes on this site and gets nude pics, and serious come ons and this is starting to effect my sleep, my day, my normal Lizzie life style...Like depression because if I confront him he will say the same thing: "don't you trust me"? He could easily have cheated on me on a few occasions and I just found out today that this may be probable...Is he a sex maniac? Ego maniac? What? I truly love him but could not forgive if I found out he slept with soemone else....dinner? well, hmmmm. guys help! Where is Cardinal??!?!??!