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Hi everyone! I took a break from ENA and I guess its time for an update...


It has been hard..I have had ups and downs since my last post. Me and my ex did talk again and it was more of me burning him at the stake and finding out the painful truths in order for me to stop thinking I was crazy. It didn't go well and I didn't expect it to. To be honest I feel like I have lost myself and have been that way for almost a year now.


I finally decided yesterday that I can't hide this from my family anymore. I have been in a cave when it comes to my emotions. I have been distant, angry, having a short fuse with many people and I don't want to push my family and friends away from me just because I am not happy with my life.


I also admitted something else...I am an emotional binge eater. I have gained and lost pounds like crazy my whole life. But it seems it has gotten out of control since the breakup...his engagement..his wedding...him phone stalking me. It has been 8 long months and I have just fallen into depression. And even today seeing my ex's wedding pictures..seeing him happy and smiling and looking at how miserable I am just put a knife into me.


I dont know how to handle it other than eating ..Ive done this since I was very young and I decided I need help!!!!


I told my mom that I wanted to go to a counseling session so I could get it under control. I don't want my two young neices or my own future children to see me react like this and think its okay. For me its not the food, its learning how to express anger and sadness in a non-destructive way and also to not keep everything in. I have noticed that eventhough I don't feel sadness everyday..I still eat like I so.


I tried to handle this myself but as I was sitting in my room downing chocolate cake and sobbing......it just hit me that I really can't do it alone.

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You're already taking the right steps by seeking out a counselor. Go a step further and look for one who has some background working with people who have eating and body image issues.


In addition to therapy (as I've dealt with disordered eating and body image issues on and off most of my adult life), I found reading books on the topic very helpful.


A couple I would suggest to you (and your local library probably has them) are:


"Overcoming Overeating" by Jane Hirschmann & Carol Munter link removed


"Breaking Free From Emotional Eating" by Geneen Roth link removed


Both those books and the links to link removed will point you to a bunch of other related books that you might find helpful as well. Given the way you've described your situation, I'd suggest those two first, though.

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Eating is probably something you atteched the emotions too.


It used to be grabbing Ben n' Jerrys for me, now it is shopping for stuff (yeah, I know I am a guy).


It makes me feel better, but then all I get is more debt on credit cards and stuff I am not even using. I just bought 2 shirts and I am already tired of them. ;-)


So, it goes deeper than the surface, as we know. For me, I need to learn how to like myself. I know I don't. Also, I have read on here many times that the best way to show the exes or yourself or have revenge or whatever, is to live a good life and bring yourself back.


You are still giving him all the control by looking at the pics, thinking about him and then eating. Be the cutie that you are and show him and yourself that you are worth every minute that someone wants to give you and that he LOST OUT!!!


Also, if you like to binge, maybe binge on some fruit (I know, it isn't the same). ;-)

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I agree that binge eating is something thats emotional, something that you do as a way of venting your stresses and sadness. I've gone though alot too and thats why I do it too. Hugs to you for realizing! I know it is so hard when you have so much going on and you just eat as a comfort. I used to smoke my problems away but since I quit it's food.

I guess we have to quit our food habbits. If you ever want to just chat about it I'm here and I'll listen and only a pm away.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that things progress positivly.

Take care,


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Hi Coco angel


I can relate very much as I have been stuffing down unwanted emotions all my life but the "trash can" is full now and cannot go on like this anymore..for me the major issue is about venting it out there on the spot when it happens..so I am not there yet and I do it a lot with my djembe drum ..so i go back in my mind to a situation and let all the anger come up and then I drum it out...it is also a good stress releife ,it is not to do how it sounds it doesnt matter it is just a way of hitting something but it is good thing with drum. The whole issue is a rather slow and painfull process I found especially since u feel very much alone with all the "sh&*@&' that piled up over the years but take it as a clear sign that life gave u a signal that you need to change becouse you came to a point in time that you dont need this pattern anymore, so you can go thru live lighter and happier. I still binge sometimes but I DONT punish myself or put the guilty hammer on......The other thing with binge eating is also possible if u are very sensitive person you might be picking up emotions and vibes from other people and that is not comfortable to walk around with so u kill it with food also....


Just know it is not end of the world as EVERYONE in this world has gott problems, it is just that some can go on without acctually showing that they are hurt and getting to the bottom of things..




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