coco_angel Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Hi everyone! I took a break from ENA and I guess its time for an update... It has been hard..I have had ups and downs since my last post. Me and my ex did talk again and it was more of me burning him at the stake and finding out the painful truths in order for me to stop thinking I was crazy. It didn't go well and I didn't expect it to. To be honest I feel like I have lost myself and have been that way for almost a year now. I finally decided yesterday that I can't hide this from my family anymore. I have been in a cave when it comes to my emotions. I have been distant, angry, having a short fuse with many people and I don't want to push my family and friends away from me just because I am not happy with my life. I also admitted something else...I am an emotional binge eater. I have gained and lost pounds like crazy my whole life. But it seems it has gotten out of control since the breakup...his engagement..his wedding...him phone stalking me. It has been 8 long months and I have just fallen into depression. And even today seeing my ex's wedding pictures..seeing him happy and smiling and looking at how miserable I am just put a knife into me. I dont know how to handle it other than eating ..Ive done this since I was very young and I decided I need help!!!! I told my mom that I wanted to go to a counseling session so I could get it under control. I don't want my two young neices or my own future children to see me react like this and think its okay. For me its not the food, its learning how to express anger and sadness in a non-destructive way and also to not keep everything in. I have noticed that eventhough I don't feel sadness everyday..I still eat like I so. I tried to handle this myself but as I was sitting in my room downing chocolate cake and sobbing......it just hit me that I really can't do it alone. Quote Link to comment
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