Do many girls go out with guys 28 or older that still lives at home?

[CluelessGuy321]

I'm starting to learn, it's not so materialistic....unless you're going after a materialistic girl. I know a guy who lives with his parents, is 29, and dates a lot of women. 3-5 between any certain period.

 

I'm 25, I live on my own, I'm wealthier than most people my age, and I'm in the same boat you are. It's a big boat Skooch on over

[Batya33]

Nothing to do with being materialistic. To me, for purposes of finding a person who would be a potential for marriage and a family, it is a sign of maturity, a healthy independence from one's family and financial stability - which does not mean the person is materialistic. A person can have huge amounts of debt and be very materialistic, or wealthy and not materialistic.

[shikashika]

I think at that age one should definitely contribute to the household..

 

Depends also, if they have never left the nest. \

 

I moved back in with my parents wen I was 27 for a few months after having been overseas for a few years. I met a 30 yr old guy recently who has moved back in with the rents for 6 months - 1 year.. He is very interesting, lived in Brazil, China, biked in Europe.. and he gets a long with his parents, contirbutes

 

i see so many people who have bought new condos, houses, when their parents helped them out with the downpayment.. yet somehow they are considered more independent than someone who pays their parents rent to live with their parents. Most people i know who live at home pay the same amount to live with their parents as they would to live with than some dodgy student accommodation.

 

I certainly know who I would choose to live with.

 

I know many people who have moved back with the parents for a short term or even a longer, but more temporary time.

 

Every situation is different and I don't think we can pigeon hole everyone who lives with their family into one category

 

So no.. I don't neccesarily see it as a bad thing... it really depends on the situation

[iwishiknew]

Yes that is really a problem. Having sex in a car after certain age becomes less appealing.

 

Ever considered moving out?

 

 

Yes, I was on my own for about 6 months till I got laid off, so I had to move back home, which I wasnt to happy about..I want to move so bad but I just don"t have the money to move out..I have a crappy low paying dead end job, which I cant get a decent weekly pay...Thats why I decided to go back to school and purse a new career..

[Siriana]

Oh, I get that.... It's the problem we're having at my county - the salary you get when you're younger is simply way to low for us to be able to afford living alone.

And getting a job is almost impossible.

 

 

Well your story doesn't sound weird.

Everything is in PR.

So you can always tell how you decided to get a diploma in a field that better suits you and that gives you better prospects for the future, and because of that you need to be carefull with your expences and also work on a job that makes possible for you to squeeze some time for learning too.

Like: "I am thinking long term when it comes to my future!"

 

oh, try to find a better payed job - at least a little bit.

[Zoey]

Do alot of girls go out with guys that are 28 or older that still lives at home? Would many girls want to date and have a relationship with a guy still living at home?

 

It seems like if a guy whos 28 yrs old and still lives at home, it would be hard to get a gf and less likely to have a relationship.

 

my brother, who is 31, lives with our parents. He bought the house, has decent paying job and is very responsible. He lives in his house and lets my parents live in it as well. There is nothing wrong with living with parents and being independent, supporting oneself.

 

He doesn't have hard time getting a gf. As matter of fact, he has a lot of girls liking him because of his personality and decency.

 

I think it depends on the person.

[iwishiknew]

Oh, I get that.... It's the problem we're having at my county - the salary you get when you're younger is simply way to low for us to be able to afford living alone.

And getting a job is almost impossible.

 

 

Well your story doesn't sound weird.

Everything is in PR.

So you can always tell how you decided to get a diploma in a field that better suits you and that gives you better prospects for the future, and because of that you need to be carefull with your expences and also work on a job that makes possible for you to squeeze some time for learning too.

Like: "I am thinking long term when it comes to my future!"

 

oh, try to find a better payed job - at least a little bit.

 

Yeah my salary is so low also that I can't earn a living and can't even move out, so thats why I am stuck at home

[shikashika]

Yes, I was on my own for about 6 months till I got laid off, so I had to move back home, which I wasnt to happy about..I want to move so bad but I just don"t have the money to move out..I have a crappy low paying dead end job, which I cant get a decent weekly pay...Thats why I decided to go back to school and purse a new career..

 

i think living with your parents at a time like this is good.. If your family can't help you out..and you can't lean on them.. who will you turn to?

 

I see nothing wrong with staying with parents while you are trying to better yourself... and I don't think it makes anyone any un-'less' independent either.. Its a smarter choice, especially while back at school.

 

i dont' understand why its such a negative thing to live with your family.... but then againt he whole idea of family has gone down the drain... it seems lots of people think the quicker you move away the more independent and adult like you are.. which I think is total nonsense...

 

i think its good when people actually keep in close contact with their families

[rocio]

Yeah my salary is so low also that I can't earn a living and can't even move out, so thats why I am stuck at home

 

That's just an excuse. You live in the United States. Even if you are making a low wage, it will be enough to cover basic expenses (ie: earn a living)

[shikashika]

That's just an excuse. You live in the United States. Even if you are making a low wage, it will be enough to cover basic expenses (ie: earn a living)

 

 

amber do you think living at home completely defines a person?

 

as i've said, people are back at home for a million different reasons..i don't think it says anything about their independance. One of the most independent girls is back living at him for a bit.. and she's travelled a lot an extremely interesting person... but then you look at my brother (who as much as I love him!) lives in an apartment on his own.. but certainly hasn't done the interesting things my friend has done

[rocio]

amber do you think living at home completely defines a person?

 

I neither said nor implied anything of the sort. He said that his earnings were not enough to make a living. I responded that anyone with full-time (or at least 30 hours per week) employment can make a living in the United States.

 

There's nothing to read between the lines here.

[shikashika]

I neither said nor implied anything of the sort. He said that his earnings were not enough to make a living. I responded that anyone with full-time (or at least 30 hours per week) employment can make a living in the United States.

 

There's nothing to read between the lines here.

 

didn't mean to imply you implied I guess it depends if he is makinga crappy wage in san fransisco or new york..where cost of living could be much higher.. I don't actually know the cost of rent in these places

 

oh wait.. he says Illinois.. never mind.. I dn't know the cost of renting there either

[rocio]

well, it completely depends on the standard of living he's trying to maintain. At 17 I completely supported myself, living in a city where I didn't speak the language, and managed to put myself through 5 years of university. I guess I have trouble seeing how anyone could be incapable of making a living. But then, I didn't have a fancy condo, or a car, or cable t.v., or designer clothes, or take-out every night. I lived in a crappy basement apartment and cooked all my food from scratch and took the bus and read books from the library for entertainment. But none of that stuff is probably appealing to the opposite sex either. "Hey baby, you wanna ride the bus over to my basement apartment, eat kraft dinner with me and stare at the wall?"

 

My opinion on the OP.. Stay at home, save enough money for a down payment on a house, and then move out. It's much smarter than renting.

[shikashika]

I think its great you did all that at such a young age!

 

i guess I think if the option is there, then even if he is renting or saving up to buy a condo or house, then i don't see anything wrong with living with family to save up.. even if he did want to buy a nice car or go traveling.. it those things are important to a person and they are able to get some cheaper rent and then can save up to do other things then they should feel fine doing that

[rocio]

I agree. But if he's living at home and not saving anything, then there's a problem.. At least that's how I would look at it if I was thinking of dating the guy.

[Batya33]

I agree - if it is a temporary or emergency situation then it doesn't raise any concerns for me about the adult values or maturity level. As far as parents paying for the condo, all else being equal I would prefer to see someone living on his own than with his parents. Since I also strongly prefer to be in a serious relationship only with someone who is financially stable and independent, that would take out of the running a guy who was in large debt to his parents in order to pay the rent or a mortgage.

[shikashika]

I agree - if it is a temporary or emergency situation then it doesn't raise any concerns for me about the adult values or maturity level. As far as parents paying for the condo, all else being equal I would prefer to see someone living on his own than with his parents. Since I also strongly prefer to be in a serious relationship only with someone who is financially stable and independent, that would take out of the running a guy who was in large debt to his parents in order to pay the rent or a mortgage.

 

 

he he.. Batya.. maybe its my own personal sort- of bitterness-envy ha ha

 

I know when I was back with the parents for a bit I had a friend who 'bought' a condo( with the assistance of $15 000 toward her down payment from her parents!!) and she was considered 'independent'.. but I wasn't because i was living with my family ( even though, in a sense.. I was paying my parents, but her parents were paying her! i actually know a number of my friends who have had help from their parents when buying a condo.. with no expectancies of paying it back... so I guess I get a little agitated when they are the more independent than me because they own and the only reason they own is because they have had some help... but I rent

 

not really that bothered about it, but went out with some friends the other night and one of them brought a 25 year old guy who said I was 'too old to rent' not that I should care what a little punk says about me..because I'm quite happy with my situation.. no really really I am. ha ha

[Batya33]

I understand! Where I live many people - married, single - in their 20s 30s 40s and beyond rent because of the situation with the housing market. For what it's worth my parents did not help me with my rent, ever although since I lived at home till I was 28 (until I finished school) I saved money by doing so of course.

 

To me there is the independence of living on your own and then there is financial independence. I am sure many people who live on their own get subsidized by parents and if I dated someone like that I would take that into account in assessing whether the person was sufficiently financially stable for the long term. You raise a good point about "independence." I will also say --- somewhat uncomfortably - that it remains more socially acceptable for a woman to live with her parents as an adult than a man.

[poloplayer]

Hi,

 

Trust me, most don't care. The ones that do are not worth your time - they seem to uptight this early on to get involved with.

 

In fact, it's a great way to make girls laugh. When I lived at home to save some money for my own place (no I didn't pay for anything such as rent or food at home), I always asked girls if they've ever seen Failure to Launch, and I'd compare myself to that guy. Mind you I was 23 at the time, but I always bumped up my age to 35. All these girls knew I was joking, but I had no problem admiting I lived at home. Free food, free rent, free utilities, etc. The only thing which sucks is coming home with someone late at night when the house is sleeping...that gets a little high schoolish.

 

I say who cares. Live at home - it's free and it rocks.

[Batya33]

That's a fairly generalized judgment you made - "uptight." (I'll note that I was careful in my opinion to note exceptions and to limit it just to getting involved in a serious relationship with the potential for marriage with a man over 28 who lived at home with his parents).

 

To me the people who care about whether a person in his/her late 20s who is out of school lives away from their parents might have to do with a thoughtful approach to compatible values - a similar level of maturity, emotional independence and financial independence. I would question the wisdom of a woman who was interested in a serious relationship with a man leading to marriage and family who got involved with someone who sincerely thought that it was a good idea and mature to sponge off your parents as an adult. I assume you were kidding about that by the way.

 

Obviously, if the woman is looking just to date around and doesn't have a serious relationship in mind it matters a whole lot less, or not at all.

[quietgrl]

Luke and iwishiknew,

The answers to your " living at home and dating" question is in this article.

 

Living at home and dating

link removed

[quietgrl]

I think if you live at home, and portray yourself to be living under mom, then the best girls to go out with are teenagers or before the age of 22 y/o because you may be more likely in their wavelength than an older girl/woman who may be living on her own.

 

Luke,

The men over 21 who living at home in this link aren't dating women under 21.These men are dating adult women not teenagers

 

Living at home and dating

link removed

[shikashika]

I agree with what you say about women living at home. A good friend of mine ( a guy) lived at home until he was 30, but lives in a city where the average price of a home (apartment!!) was about 500 000, and he wanted to save up 15-20%. When I first met him I thought.. why does this guy live at home? he makes good money.. is well out of uni... but then I sat and calculated how much 15-20% or 500 000$ is.. and its no small number!

 

He used to say this too... people would make comments about him living with the parents.. but not so much if it was a girl.

 

if anyone of us meets someone who lives at home.. I hope we will at least get to know them first before making a living at home expectation.

 

I admit, it was probably my pride more than anything when I moved back home for a bit.

 

I still believe that if one is making a living, and is out of school they should at least contribute.

 

My parents contribution to my university education was that I could live with 'them for my first degree.. and for that I am grateful. They have said that if I do decide to go back and do a Masters they would welcome me back and offer the same thing again.. but I don't think I could do that now.

[Luke Skywalker]

That's just an excuse. You live in the United States. Even if you are making a low wage, it will be enough to cover basic expenses (ie: earn a living)

 

 

What, and how much are you making? There is a difference between a 'minimum' wage and a 'living' wage. A minimum wage is the lowest amount of pay that law abiding company can pay it's workers based on the limit of the law. A living wage slightly higher than the minimum wage, but it is enough to cover basic expenses.

 

If one is earning minimum wage, then by it's design, it's not enough to cover basic living expenses and something, whether quality of accomidation (living in a homeless shelter) or food would have to be compromised. Plus you get the worst crappy health care service if you get injured (i.e. you get no pay if you dont work because of injury, plus you incur health care costs on top of it), thus if you get injured you get screwed. Here in Canada we have health care, but the minimum wage is still lower than the living wage.

 

Do not come to an assumption that people are paid enough to get by on their own.

[poloplayer]

Hi,

 

That's a fairly generalized judgment you made - "uptight."

 

I agree with you, it is, and that's what I believe. The fact is that many people do live with their parents in this world around that age, and even later, and it is not a concern except for many Western nations where so much is placed on independence.

 

My uncle was 30 when he married, and never moved out of his parents house until he was getting married. My father was 27 when he left home to get married. My cousin is not married, but in a serious relationship, and she is 32 - she never moved out on her own except for college, and then she returned home. I can go on and on with the list. Most of the people I know lived at home in their mid to late twenties.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with living at home, and when you first meet someone, you two are dating and not jumping into a serious relationship which will lead to marriage in the next few weeks/months. If someone cannot just date you because you live at home, then I am glad to know very early on.

 

I lived at home for years after graduating college, and I openly told people where I lived when asked. I was never really questioned why, nor did I say why, but my reactions were mixed. Some girls who I dubbed "uptight" had a look of disdain on their face, where I get written off because I am not independent enough or successful enough. Most, in my experience, did not care, because we are just getting to know each other, and her interest in me is slightly more than am I independent enough to consider going to dinner with, or at least have a date with and get to know something about me, other than I don't live on my own (perhaps in time I'll explain why to her, as in after quite a few dates).

 

I do this on purpose to see if a girl is actually interested in me beyond the initial - yes, I live at home (but don't say why) and yes I have a job (I don't offer too much of what I do). In time I reveal more of myself to someone. I'm not trying to play a mysterious game about this, but I am doing it to see if this other person has an actual interest in me beyond that I can provide for a marriage and family. Can we actually hang out together, and have a good time together. The reality for me (and most of the people I know who did this) is not to judge a book by its cover - I have a good job and I worked, saved, and invested my money for almost 3 years by living at home and I was able to purchase a residential complex as an investment with 50% equity, where my tenants pay my mortgage on that property, and they pay for most of the mortgage on the condo which I now call home.

 

These are things about me which nobody needs to know about early on. I can understand where it is a concern if you are not doing something with your life and still live at home, but that wasn't the case for me or the people I know (guys and gilrs ) that did this. In the end we laughed at those who told us to move away from mommy and daddy and gain some independence, and there were many people who muttered this. I just kept my mouth closed and minded my own business - they clearly reached some judgment about me when I said I lived at home.