Style of dress hurting me?

[Kevin T]

I suck at math.

[g1234567890h]

How you project yourself on the outside pales in comparison to how you project yourself on the inside.

[charley]

By the way Kevin, you remind me of a younger me. I think I understand you pretty well these days.

 

You have an uncanny number of similarities to myself at your age. We still have some things in common actually. Like when you started equating women's behavior to algebra equations. That made me laugh because it's something I do sometimes. If I ever laugh at you, it's meant in a harmless way and I'm probably really laughing at myself that I see in you.

 

Hey, far in the past, I even had the trenchcoat in common with you. Eww. I'm getting the hebegeebies thinking of myself at ages 23 to 25 wearing the trenchcoat. Luckily it was only one of 3 of my favorite jackets I wore. The other two were cool and I still wear the leather one right now.

 

I think I only used to wear the trenchcoat about 1/3 of the time. One day I realized it was hurting me socially and I threw it in a dumpster. Seriously, I did. I quit the trenchcoat cold turkey.

 

However, you do as you think best for yourself. I'll understand that.

[g1234567890h]

The school shooter, the nerd and the loner (more accurately, the angry loner). Since I am none of the three, I need to stop showing myself to the world in that guise. Knowing that I'll most likely be seen as one of those three (or maybe some scary combination of them, which is likely since they are not mutally exclusive), why on earth would I want to walk around dressed like that?!

 

That, my friend, I totally disagree with. I dress far scarier than you do. I wear army fatigues, black leather gloves, a black trench coat, and orange reflective sunglasses. I have long unkempt black hair and a goatee. I dress like I intimidate people, but it has never held me back socially.

 

I don't wear a long trench coat to work because I always end up taking it off anyway, but I wear a pretty mean looking black jacket. I still wear the army fatigues and the black with the sunglasses. I don't need to wear gloves at work. Young children, ages three to five, are not intimidated. Parents have no problem with how I dress. Girls come up to me to talk to me. My current girlfriend asked me out on a first date.

 

Why? Like I said in my previous post, it's all about how you project yourself on the inside. I smile at people. I say "hi." I wave. Random children come up to talk to me and play with me. Girls reguarly try to pick up on me. I don't walk hunched over, staring at the ground with my hands crammed into my pockets. I am open and inviting. I wear my clothes because they're comfortable and I get good reactions from our troops. Your clothes don't hold you back socially, it's your attitude on the inside that counts.

 

That's my two cents in how you dress.

[charley]

I think it's the combination of clothes and attitude-behavior that works, or doesn't work.

[kuhl282000]

I think that the way you dress tells a lot about who you are. I'm from the advertising industry and well "Image is Everything" at least till you take the time to at least get to know the person. When I was in high school, I always prided myself in looking my best and it seemed to work.

 

I like the fact that you said you wear a nice shirt. Perhaps you might want to consider "LOOSING" the trench coat. I know they might seem to appear to look good, however I do believe they could and might be associated as more of the gang or gangster look. It's worth at least a try ..................

 

Good Luck

 

Kuhl

[Kevin T]

Verdict: The coat stays.

[Aurian]

Maybe just tweak the rest a bit then. Surely it doesn't hurt to have a signature item? I wear very unusual jewellry and have my nails painted a dark purple for the last 6 years (if they did perma nail-polish tattoos, I'd do it They're not really mainstream, but they're my image and I don't intend to change them.

[Kevin T]

What shall I tweak then?

[Aurian]

You say you wear dress shirts? I am getting the image of a whitish button-shirt with jeans and a trench coat, am I right? That image doesn't quite work for me (a bit conflicting - casual jeans, formal shirt, quirky coat!). Of those, the shirt doesn't quite work. A darker shirt left untucked is cool and casual and would go with the jeans and coat. A white one tucked in does not. You could also try some plain coloured T-shirts too, they can still look nice and classy when clean, but they're a step down in formality from the shirts.

 

However, in the end, as we have all been saying, fashion is pretty personal and it is far more important to be comfortable in your own clothes. I'm sure I break my share of fashion rules, but I am comfortable and I think I look good, so I walk with confidence.

[Kevin T]

Well, I decided to keep the coat based on that.

 

Sure, I don't want to be seen as something I'm not, but I also like being the minority. I like being different and I like being able to stand out from the crowd in a big way. People see me coming a mile away, and that was my goal in the first place, I think. I want to be someone who is an individual and this helps me to express that very well, I believe.

 

Call me a "non-conformist." I guess. Not that I'm a goth or anything, 'cuz I'm not. I can only be... me.

 

I'll take it.

 

For better or worse, with me; what you see is definitely what you get.

[Aurian]

Sounds good to me!

 

Besides, would you want to date a girl who was shallow and insisted that you wear only Gap?

[Kevin T]

Sounds good to me!

 

Besides, would you want to date a girl who was shallow and insisted that you wear only Gap?

 

Sure.

 

I'm "shallow" enough to care about how a girl looks in basing my decision on dating her.

 

Shallow, I may be; hypocrite, I am not. Oh yeah, I'm honest too.

[EvaGina]

Dress shirt is FINE!!!

To be honest, different men suit different things and women have their own preferences

 

I like a groomed man, I used to date a guy who wore suits all the time, and I loved it. But my bf now is in jeans and t shirts all the time, I hate him cleanshaven and he wears really kooky things (like a golfing glove... I dont know why)

 

As long as you dress in what you feel powerfull in, what gives you confidence, I dont see the problem.

 

Are they nicely tailors shirts? I HATE shapeless baggy dress shirts

[Scout]

I like being different and I like being able to stand out from the crowd in a big way. People see me coming a mile away, and that was my goal in the first place, I think. I want to be someone who is an individual and this helps me to express that very well, I believe.

 

Call me a "non-conformist."

 

I'm perplexed. When you say people can see you coming a mile away, I guess I would expect you to be wearing something really zany.

 

But jeans, a dress shirt and a trench coat don't sound unconventional at all. Not to me, anyway.

 

Of course, I'm a child of the eighties, where "non-conformist" meant mohawks, ripped jeans, tattooes, and piercings!

[charley]

Well, Scout, from what I see of young guys today in my local area, a young guy would stand out if he was clean, clean cut, and his pants weren't falling of his butt.

 

On casual Fridays at work here, the young gals dress a bit sexy, but still have some class. The young guys experiment with how far their pants can hang down their butts and how much underwear and/or butt crack they can show in the process.

 

Every Friday, I used to tell this young guy at work to "Pull your freakin pants up!" I finally gave up. However, then the older women started in on him. He doesn't work here anymore. That says it all.

 

So I do think that Kevin has some good ideas about looking different than the unwashed, unkept, pants halfway down the butt young guys his age. I just don't think the trench coat is a helpful part of that, but I do approve of his being cleaner and better groomed and having some class.

 

For his generation, the standout rebel would be a guy with some class, a decent haircut, clean hair, and his pant where they're supposed to be.

 

To paraphrase Alicia Silverstone from one of her movies where her young character liked older men (guys around 30 in her case), she said, the guys my age are unwashed, their hair is greasy, and their baggy pants are halfway down their butts. Is it any wonder I prefer older men? She had a valid point. Scarlett Johannsen said (in real life) she prefers men age 30+. Why? I think it's cause they're clean and have some class, just as Alicia Silverstone's character explained.

 

So I approve in general of Kevin's ideas and tastes, just not the trench coat because it's going to far.

[charley]

Thing is Scout, our generation was the last generation where the average guy was reasonably clean and well groomed, or better. It's been all downhill ever since.

 

Kevin is a rebel for his generation because he's clean and well groomed. I approve.

 

I attract a fair amount of younger women who are within a couple years of Kevin's age. I'm shy about following up on it, but I do attract them. I suspect I attract them partly because I look young, partly because I'm a nice guy, and partly because I'm cleaner and better groomed than most guys their age and my pants are NOT overly baggy, NOT falling off my butt.

 

Young women can get a higher level of class and hygiene from me than from most guys their age. That's a fact. They could also get a higher level of class and hygiene from Kevin. Just not the trench coat, please.

[Kevin T]

Yes, charley's got it right on.

 

In comparison to my peers, I stand out a lot.

 

And with the coat, I stand out even more so.

 

It's more of a statement, than it is anything else. I just wanna be different.

 

And charley, don't even get me started on the guys who wear their pants down past their behind and that are so baggy you could put three people in one leg. lol That's very common thing where I'm from. I think it looks silly.

[Aurian]

The girls are giggling their asses off too when they see that mode of dress. Ew.

[charley]

Yes, charley's got it right on.

 

In comparison to my peers, I stand out a lot.

 

And with the coat, I stand out even more so.

 

It's more of a statement, than it is anything else. I just wanna be different.

 

And charley, don't even get me started on the guys who wear their pants down past their behind and that are so baggy you could put three people in one leg. lol That's very common thing where I'm from. I think it looks silly.

 

One day, at break time at work, one of those young guy's pants were sagging way down, his boxers were also sagging enough to show about 2" of butt crack. This happened every casual Friday. So I took a banana from the communal fruit dish and got a hold of his middle back belt loop and pulled his pants 3" away from his butt and boxers and dropped the banana down the back of his pants. Gosh that was funny. He protested a lot at first, but he ended up laughing too. The office women were in hysterics from laughing (this on lunch break). I told him that if it was uncomfortable, then next time I'd put some whip cream on the banana first. Ha ha.

 

Yes, I really did that one day. I've seen to many young guys' boxers and butt cracks. It's wearing on my nerves and I feel visually harassed having to see it. So I fought back with some inappropriate humor. After that, he never let his pants sag as much - at least not around me. Possibly cause I'd pointed out there's plenty more bananas in the bowl for next time.

 

That is a true story. I'm conservative only as long as I can stand it, then I have to act out, especially when confronted with seeing young guy boxers and butt cracks everywhere I look. They always laughed when I told them to pull up their pants on casual Fridays at work. Look who's laughing now. Me. I say, pull up your pants, or I'm going to go get a banana from the dish, and then I laugh. Ha ha ha!