Online dating questions

[philosophia]

A couple online dating related questions:

 

1. I've read stories that there are fake profiles on yahoo personals and link removed. You can almost tell the fake ones because they all seem 'too good to be true'. About what percentage of the women on those sites would you estimate are fake?

 

2. Guys - what is your batting average online? I just want to see what other people's experiences are like. fill in the blanks:

 

For every ___ girls I message on the online personals, ___ message me back.

 

For every ___ girls that message me back, ___ turn into actual dates.

 

Thanks!

[robowarrior]

Are you new to the on-line dating thing? Well i can assure you that on-line dating is rubbish. Why? Its for shy people and what the commonfolks of society would describe as losers. Why? Well if you have to use an on-line dating site, it means most people find you are either to ugly/fat/shy or other negative trait in real life.

 

If your smoking hot , you wouldn't need to grab towards an on-line dating site, unless you are incredibly shy.

 

Another big negative is LDR, the "oh i think you are so handsome, to bad you live 3 oceans and 20 000 miles away on some forgotton Robinson crusoe's island, otherwhise id pay you a visit" , honestly its better to get into contact with a real someone from within your inner circle instead of a virtual imposter.

[BrokenHeart82]

Robo, sorry but I have to disagree with you here.

 

I have found that many online daters have done this route because they are busy professionals, or have grown tired of the club and bar scene.

 

The one things I would warn is that sites like yahoo and match are known to have alot of rebounders on them. People who arent really ready for relationships, but want to "move on".

 

Anyhow, I get asked out frequently and chatted up when I go out. I am the antithesis of shy and I have done online dating for a year on and off. In the middle was a 6 month relationship.

[annie24]

Are you new to the on-line dating thing? Well i can assure you that on-line dating is rubbish. Why? Its for shy people and what the commonfolks of society would describe as losers. Why? Well if you have to use an on-line dating site, it means most people find you are either to ugly/fat/shy or other negative trait in real life.

 

lol. what an interesting point of view!

 

I have to say I disagree. I do online dating as do many of my friends, and no, we are not fat/ugly/shy. I used to model in high school, and I have many good looking, fun friends who are looking online. Why? to expand our social circles. For example, in my case, I am at work most of the day and I don't believe in dating coworkers. And many of the hobbies I do (such as yoga and dance), I simply do not get a chance to meet many men there. so, I turned to online dating. When I walk into a coffee shop, I see many men look at me, some smile, but no one comes over and asks me out. Men can be afraid to approach a woman if they don't know if she's single and interested, so online dating is a good solution to that.

[Batya33]

I know of several happy marriages and engagements that resulted from on line dating and they are by far not losers. In addition to being people of character, integrity and solid values (the most important, definitely!) they include five successful lawyers, two successful doctors, a hotshot in the internet industry, two college professors and a successful actress.

 

No, they are not all "studs" in the looks department but they range in my view from reasonably attractive to way above average. None of them is a loser - they all have good to great personalities, are compassionate, kind people, etc. I only listed their careers as ONE factor of many that make them all great and high quality people. None of them is particularly shy and their reasons for doing on line dating ranged from being way too busy at work to go out and meet people, not being into the bar scene, wanting to get married and to focus only on those with the same goal, etc.

 

When I did on line dating, I met over 100 men in person, about 65% or so asked me out for a second date, I went out with about half of those who asked, dated about a dozen of them more than 4 times and about 5 or 6 of them for two-three months. I met some jerky people but mostly I met good, nice people, some of whom I had a very strong attraction to where the feeling was mutual and some of whom I am still in touch with as friends.

 

I should add that where I live (major city) on line dating is mainstream now, there is no "stigma."

[zerohalo]

Are you new to the on-line dating thing? Well i can assure you that on-line dating is rubbish. Why? Its for shy people and what the commonfolks of society would describe as losers. Why? Well if you have to use an on-line dating site, it means most people find you are either to ugly/fat/shy or other negative trait in real life.

 

If your smoking hot , you wouldn't need to grab towards an on-line dating site, unless you are incredibly shy.

 

Another big negative is LDR, the "oh i think you are so handsome, to bad you live 3 oceans and 20 000 miles away on some forgotton Robinson crusoe's island, otherwhise id pay you a visit" , honestly its better to get into contact with a real someone from within your inner circle instead of a virtual imposter.

Um... wow. And um... no.

 

Quite a few people use online dating because of time constraints, or because they live in a backwards town where their personality just doesn't fit, or they're tired of going to the bars. Or, they just want to actually get to know someone a bit before meeting. I'm not saying that some people don't fit into your view here, but I'd have to say that's not the whole truth.

 

There was a quote I had heard somewhere before, you'll have to forgive me for not remembering the source, but I've always found it very poignant. Read it with sarcasm.

"Isn't it amazing how we always seem to find our soulmate within 20 minutes of where we live?"

[rocio]

I also disagree with robo. It used to be that way a few years ago. But these days, everyone's online. And even beautiful and outgoing people use the internet as a way to make more friends and look for that potential perfect match.

 

I guess if you're online trying to meet supermodels, and you're someone who normally has trouble getting a date with anyone, well.... yeah, you might get played by fakes. My advice: be realistic in your expectations and try to meet girls in person sooner rather than later. After having a few online conversations, ask if she would like to meet up for a coffee. Or ask her to bring a friend and do a double-date with one of your friends. Something casual. Use the internet as a way to make that first connection with women, but don't maintain cyber relationships. (also why it's important to meet girls in your city - not in another state on the other side of the country).

[Orlander]

philosophia, I don't think the questions you are asking are the right ones. Have you attempted an online dating site?

 

I've had good luck recently with online dating. It's helped me get back into the swing of dating again.

 

I think it's important to go into dating online as you would in everyday life...don't take it too seriously and have fun. Don't expect anything, keep an open mind and create the kind of profile that says "Hey, I'm a sincere, fun guy"

 

I've met some really nice women through online dating.

 

 

Orlander

[lizziebee]

Are you new to the on-line dating thing? Well i can assure you that on-line dating is rubbish. Why? Its for shy people and what the commonfolks of society would describe as losers. Why? Well if you have to use an on-line dating site, it means most people find you are either to ugly/fat/shy or other negative trait in real life.

 

If your smoking hot , you wouldn't need to grab towards an on-line dating site, unless you are incredibly shy.

 

 

Oh my, I too must disagree with you my dear Robo. I myself am not ugly/fat or anywhere near shy. I do not drink and thereforeeee have outlived the bar scene that I am sure a lot of us can go off on what that is like (when the ligths go on). I went on a site with no picture mind you, only because I did not have a current one to post, but I am quite the how do you say? Oh yeah, 'smokin hot' babe and my friends both men and women would agree. As did Anne, I modeled in the early 80's for quite awhile, so yadda yadda, I met my current smokin hot in every way bf on this particular site and we are about 1.5 hours from each other and you will see by my other posts all is not perfect but I am glad I am with this man, who is as adventurous, sweet (when not jealous) and who has enlightened my world. We have been together for 6 months.

Now for our new cyber dater. Be wary of the pics, they could be 10 years old. Be careful where you meet especailly if you live in a small town (married men won't necessarily tell you they are and I bet that goes for the ladies too), give out your personal email address only after YOU feel comfortable doing so. Do not play games...it just is not fair to either of you and it is a waste of time. I was on AFF site for 3 months before meeting this man, and did not kiss one single toad..if you will, because I knew that what I was looking for would be elusive. It was and it still is. Sorry so long. Good luck! Exit stage right...

[lizziebee]

philosophia, I don't think the questions you are asking are the right ones. Have you attempted an online dating site?

 

I've had good luck recently with online dating. It's helped me get back into the swing of dating again.

 

I think it's important to go into dating online as you would in everyday life...don't take it too seriously and have fun. Don't expect anything, keep an open mind and create the kind of profile that says "Hey, I'm a sincere, fun guy"

 

I've met some really nice women through online dating.

 

 

Orlander

 

Orlander is absolutely right and buddy that is almost the same profile title my bf had on his site...he also put 'no mind games'...good luck and have fun, and stay sincere...she will show up when you least expect it!

[annie24]

Ironically, I've found that the people who have "No mind games!" in their profile tend to be the ones that play mind games..... (but that's just been my experience, I'm glad to hear your bf isn't like that lizzie!)

[lizziebee]

Ironically, I've found that the people who have "No mind games!" in their profile tend to be the ones that play mind games..... (but that's just been my experience, I'm glad to hear your bf isn't like that lizzie!)

 

Oh Anne, you slay me LOL! Yeah, you are right about that but we have come up with a way to target our weakness'...Brutal honesty, as in, I need to be with you right now, can I come over, or I needed to talk to tell you how much I appreciate who you are and stuff like that...Instead of all the accusatory cr**....So we will see how we do with the positive and HONEST reinforcements and I will let you know...Thanks for everything Anne!

[philosophia]

philosophia, I don't think the questions you are asking are the right ones. Have you attempted an online dating site?

 

I've had good luck recently with online dating. It's helped me get back into the swing of dating again.

 

I think it's important to go into dating online as you would in everyday life...don't take it too seriously and have fun. Don't expect anything, keep an open mind and create the kind of profile that says "Hey, I'm a sincere, fun guy"

 

I've met some really nice women through online dating.

 

 

Orlander

 

I'm not new to it. I've been doing it on and off for years and I'm doing well at it.

 

So far noone has answered any of my questions, all I wanted to know was what other guy's success ratios were with online dating. I guess nobody wants to be the first to answer question 21. I don't see what the big deal is.

 

But - in my original post I did not ask, 'is online dating for losers?' (it's not btw, you must be a really old dude or live out in the sticks if you still think that in 2007).

[LCD01]

All right, I 'll take a stab a this.

 

I've been doing the on-line dating thing for almost a month. I send out

quite a few e-mails to women, and the response isn't that good; even though my profile is sincere and my pictures are good.

 

For every 5 e-mails I send out I get 1 response.

 

I've had one date so far. I should mention most of the women I contact live in the bigger cities 150 miles away, so many might not want a LDR.

It would be nice if they would respond and tell me that though.

[Batya33]

Ironically, I've found that the people who have "No mind games!" in their profile tend to be the ones that play mind games..... (but that's just been my experience, I'm glad to hear your bf isn't like that lizzie!)

 

Same here - I was careful not to have any of those jaded/cynical statements in my profile- why would I want to advertise "baggage" or bitterness (putting aside that I travel light and have no bitterness)? In any event, the whole "games" term is so overused and has so many different meanings it is more distracting than productive.

[Saturn2006]

I know that some sites do use fake profiles to try and lure you in to paying up with your credit card. For instance, during an intense weekend of boredom a few months ago, I took a look at link removed and started to sign up. On joining and then doing a search I found that this site had no matches in the UK whatsoever, and seemed to be a USA based dating site. I then followed the relevant procedures to delete my profile from their site. Since that very day I have been SPAMMED big time! I am talking porno sites the works, email that I never received before, and I don't think this is just a coincidence.

 

Despite the fact that I clearly stated I wanted to delete my profile I am still receiving emails saying I must check my inbox as I have loads of messages. Then yesterday I received a message to say John wants to say hi, he is 27 years old, (I am 37), and lives only 10 miles away from me, is new to the area and wants to make new friends. There was a photo and he was absolutely gorgeous. This profile is 100% fake! I don't know how they think they can get away with it, but they do. I also got fake profiles on link removed, when you first join up they send messages from a perfect looking profle, but you can't read the message until you pay. It's all designed to get you going you message them, but then you don't receive any replies, as the person doesn't actually exist.

 

I am completely done with internet dating, and am sure I will never return to it. I did have a few relationships from doing online, but they only lasted a few months. Its strange as I've heard other people say they didn't find anything long term from internet dating.

[lizziebee]

I truly believe that the site we met on was one that would allow the user to be more on target with their fellow cruisers instead of having someone at the site putting us together. His profile was serious and to the point, whereas mine was pretty funny when I think about it but also very honest in what I was looking for...He still says it was the humor that made him contact me...still is!

[Orlander]

Ok, philosophia,

 

I am currently on match and I pretty much just send out winks right now. Of the emails to the women I do send out(cold emails and emails from women who have winked at me) I get responses from roughly 40%.

 

I've been out with two women and I currently am talking to two others. There are also several women who have winked at me that I haven't had time to respond to.

 

I have a good profile and some good pictures and have had a couple of very kind women (*wink**wink* at Annie review my profile to get a female's perspective.

 

One thing I did notice is, when I initially attempted to put up a profile mid of last year I got basically no responses, winks or interest. I think women can really tell when a guy is not ready to date.

 

Good luck out there.

 

 

Orlander

[confused25]

My friend's friend went on a date with someone off link removed that posted up fake pictures . . . be careful!!!

[BrokenHeart82]

I dont think I'll ever understand why people post fake or realllly outdated pictures when they intend to meet someone offline!

 

Ive only had this happen once to me..met a man whos pictures turned out to be 6-7 years old, before he'd lost half his hair and his muscle tone from (then) playing laccrosse.

Now the guy and I had hit it off over the email and phone, but I couldnt stop wondering why he'd lied and what else was he hiding.

[lizziebee]

I know that some sites do use fake profiles to try and lure you in to paying up with your credit card. QUOTE] They also use models in some of their provocative advertising on the web...

[longhaircats]

The one things I would warn is that sites like yahoo and match are known to have alot of rebounders on them. People who arent really ready for relationships, but want to "move on".

 

So which sites would you recommend? I do get hit on bars/clubs quite often but my problem is that they are way to young for me. I've tried online dating in the past for a short period of time, but I got tired of receiving so many creapy emails and I stopped.

 

In my limited online dating experience, I replied to about 5% of people, and went on a date with about 25% of them.

[ashwell]

I can never accept the online dating fiasco, as I have seen many friends of mine being duped. Yes this applies to either sex, and you just cant trust anyone in this aspect. Well this can certainly raise a debate when all the other things are now performed online, from shopping to banking then what can be the reason of so many pitfalls when it comes to the dating? This according to me is the relationship factor, relationships dont thrive as well online as they do in the normal lives, so better a relationship matures normally as it used to be.

[BrokenHeart82]

Longhair...well I have tried three sites (yahoo, match, and eharmony) over the past year or so. As have many of my friends.

 

Its hard to know where you will find the rebounders because eharmony has them too. As always, its best to just let time sort things for you and really get to know the person and not the profile!

 

 

Ash, I think online dating is more about a means of meeting someone and then it does progress to "normal" dating ideally. I know with men ive met who wanted to just keep exchanging emails for more then a week I typically lost interest. I am looking for a normal relationship, not an online chat fest.

[RayKay]

Ironically, I've found that the people who have "No mind games!" in their profile tend to be the ones that play mind games..... (but that's just been my experience, I'm glad to hear your bf isn't like that lizzie!)

 

Me too Annie!

 

Oh, and the ones whom make a BIG point about how honest they are and so on either are: very critical and condescending of you, or are honest in the sense they won't tell you/be open unless you ask the SPECIFIC question...