Should I stay or Should I Go? Help please...

[someguy12345]

Hi

 

My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost a year. When we first started dating, we agreed to leave the past behind us and not ask too many questions until the time was right.

 

over the past while.. I have beed approached and warned by 4 different friends from 4 different circles about her promiscous past. I sat down and talked to her about it, just because i couldnt dodge it any more.

 

without asking specific numbers... I know she has slept with atleast 9 people and 7 others im not sure, of over the past 6.5 years add in the fact that she says she has NEVER cheated on anyone... and that 4 of those 6.5 years were spent with me (1 year) an ex (1.5 years) and another ex (1.5 years) so that leaves 6 (for sure lays) and 7 (who knows what activities) in a 2.5 year span

She is in her Mid 20's btw

 

is she a S.L.U.T ??? honest opinion

 

im debating if i can overlook this aspect of her or not

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about her behaviour, it is a matter of what you can or can't live with. Her past is her past, she is with you now. I don't know how long into the relationship it was before you guys had sex, but if it was very soon into the relationship, that should have been your tipoff that she was quite experienced, sexually. I think it is very sad that women are subjected to this kind of scrutiny....I think less of her because she is inexperienced....I think less of her because she is too experienced. I have never seen men held up to the same kind of scrutiny with regards to their sexual experience as women have.

 

Instead of doing the math, why not enjoy who she is as a person and how the two of you are together.

[someguy12345]

Yeah I agree on the fact that i SHOULD just focus on the present and that we enjoy the time we spend, thought we have been rocky as of late minus this new information i found out about her. Im just having a hard time looking at her the same way now and worried about if more people come up with "stories".

[JynX]

The past is the past...you shouldn't judge a person by it. You have been with your girlfriend for almost a year, and from a guess things have been good during that time. Then you start hearing about her past, and it gets rocky.

 

She is still the same person you were with for a year, that hasn't changed. What has, is your perseption of her. Knowing her past, if you look at it objectively, she is still the same girl. Now the question isnt if she is a s.l.u.t. or not. People come from various backgrounds and make mistakes, but from what you've written, she's been in actual relationships. In my opinion, 's.l.u.t.s.' don't have relationships, so I dont see her as one.

 

The question is whether or not you can live with her past. If you can, then you accept and deal with it, but if not, I'm afraid I don't see this relationship going much further.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I was a fulltime....active lady for at least a year or so before meeting my BF.

 

Boys , girls ,SERIAL infidelity, you name it, I did it.

 

But my BF of 1 year 3 months knows I'm faithful to him.

 

Its all about trust.

[shikashika]

I don't think it should matter how many people she slept with but if YOU can't deal with it then its not fair to stay with her.. I don't think that number is that high anyway... especially for someone in their midtwenties

[Joneysnai]

just the fact that you are wondering if she is a * * * * is bothersome. for the sake of argument let's say she was a * * * *. it's still her PAST. like everyone else is saying, once again, her past is her past. she wasn't even with you then and you didn't exist in the picture. she is with u now and what matters is the now, if u know what i mean.

[Jlizzy]

Why is it that guys are studs and girls sl**s for sleeping around?

 

6 certain lays in 2.5=how much per year?

Even take say 12..6 per year. 1 every 2 months.

 

When i left my ex husband of 4 years I was with 4 guys in one year and I was worrying my head over it...

 

We all have the right to live our lives and to have our pasts and not have it held against us..ok if she was a convicted murderer or something different story but come on!

 

My bf revealed to me early on how he's slept with over 70 women in total..considering the amount of long term relationships he's had this means he was really sleeping around in his twenties..10 months on I'm still with him...

 

Give your gal a break...accept her for who and what she is as you know her!

[Momene]

I've already said on this board that many people with promiscuous pasts have gone on to monogamous relationships.

[valiantv]

Just to add my voice to the chorus, do you like being with her or not? Forget about her past, you've been going out for a year and you've enjoyed it, so that's what you should be thinking about.

 

I know it might seem weird that she was a bit "promiscuous" (and 7 people in 2.5 years isn't that bad, I have heard of far more), but accept it and forget it. It might feel leave a bad taste in your mouth at first, but just think to yourself that you don't care, and pretty soon you'll find that you really don't.

[Momene]

I once had a girlfriend who had "been around a bit" and was terrific in bed.