What if you died, never having a gf or relationship?

[charley]

weird and dumb question but what if you lived your life and died never having a gf, or a relationship at all with a girl...I would feel so bad about it.

 

That might bother you while you're alive and expect to be indefineately.

 

However, it wouldn't even be a thought or matter to you, if you thought you were really dying or seriously injured. At that point romance is of zero concern, IME.

 

I've had a couple GFs in my life, which isn't much. Only one good GF, ever. I regret that now while I'm sitting here in safety and relatively good health.

 

However, at a few times in my life when I thought I might die, or when the doctors told me my neck was broken to name another time of stress, I didn't think about women at all. I only thought about myself, concentrating on not panicking, but just relaxing because whatever happens will happen and worrying about it won't help. My dad started to panic and I talked to him and calmed him down while I was flat on my back strapped to a board with a broken neck. I only thought of myself, family, close friends, and I tried not to think of my future at that time. Only take things one minute at a time. Later a day at a time. Later a week at a time. Later a month at a time. When under that type stress you have to control your thoughts and break down survival into manageable increments. Romance does not figure into that.

 

If you are worried about romance, it's because you have the relative peace, safety, and good health to do so. If you were dying, or thought you might die, you'd have other concerns.

[cpc28655]

I don't know your religious beliefs, so the following statement may not apply to you.

 

I don't think that St. Peter will hold it against you at heaven's doorstep.

 

All jokes aside, if this is truly a concern for you, do something about it. There is hope for everybody. If we can put a man on the moon, we can put a woman on you.

[charley]

I don't know your religious beliefs, so the following statement may not apply to you.

 

I don't think that St. Peter will hold it against you at heaven's doorstep.

 

All jokes aside, if this is truly a concern for you, do something about it. There is hope for everybody. If we can put a man on the moon, we can put a woman on you.

 

I love this post ^^^!!!.

 

My post was meant to say that it won't matter a fig when you die. It only matters while you're living. However, don't allow it to dominate your life or make you unhappy. Just work at getting what you want and try to enjoy the process of trying to get it. The journey to getting a woman is half the fun. Being with her is the other half the fun. Also, the journey is half the pain. Being with her is typically the other half the pain in my limited experience.

 

Point being, single may suck in some ways, but it's good in others. Nothing's perfect. Having a woman isn't perfect either. At least not so far in my experiences. Still trying though.

 

There's good and bad in everything, including being single and being with someone. Try to enjoy the good of whatever your situation, and don't ever think having a woman would solve all your problems. It woudn't.

 

For every problem having a woman ever solved for me, it created a new problem. I still love women, but no way am I allowing my self worth to be defined by whether I have one or not.

 

I hope you get a woman yet. You might, if you keep hope and keep trying. But whether you ever get a woman or not does not define you, your life, or your worth as a man. Don't allow this to affect your self esteem like this.

[Altruist]

weird and dumb question but what if you lived your life and died never having a gf, or a relationship at all with a girl...I would feel so bad about it.

 

How would you 'feel' ? You'd be dead, and dead people dont have feelings so its not so bad.

[corvidae]

Isaac Newton lived and died alone without having a (documented) relationship.

[Soylent Green]

Isaac Newton lived and died alone without having a (documented) relationship.

 

Yes, but he may have had Asperger's Syndrome or some type of condition that made it hard for him to have relationships, so maybe that lack of a documented relationship should have an asterisk

I'm 30, and all of my relationships with women have been very negative, so if you've never had a relationship, you're not missing much. Believe me, it's better to attract no one than attract psychos.

[Jetta]

When I was younger I had a list of things I wanted to experience before I died, on that list was a boyfriend, having sex, childbirth, etc. Well I've experienced all that so I opted to create a new list. Needless to say it I didn't want to die without having that experience, but having that experience has nearly killed me (the emotional trama of it all).

 

Looking back I'd be fine if I were to have died before experiencing those things, but then I would susequently erase two lives. That I wouldn't be fine with.

[fredericvo]

I feel sorry for ppl to whom that hapens but at the same time how can they feel bad if they're dead anyway.They just will never know and that's it...

[Leonhart]

Well, not everyone believes that.

[Carnatic]

I feel sorry for ppl to whom that hapens but at the same time how can they feel bad if they're dead anyway.They just will never know and that's it...

 

Well they'd know before they died, and if they had more than a couple of seconds of knowing they were going to die then they'd know... Like if a doctor told me I only had a week to live then I'd have a week to get used to the fact I would die having never gotten even slightly close to a girl.

[Luke Skywalker]

Come to think of it, on their death-bed, most people will be worried about getting right with God and wondering where they are going afterwards, and hope it's the right place. How we spent our life, what we did to contribute positively to those around us to better our lives and other people's lives, selfless acts, are all going to be reflected more than a selfish reflection.

 

I think it's a selfish conception of experience, relationship, girlfriends, etc...that wont wash on a time like that. You'd want to know what did you do with your time here on earth and what difference did you make, and selfish considerations about 'experiences' of a carnal relationship simply isn't going to make any regret on the radar screen - but say, how you lived your life will be a very strong reflection.

[Leonhart]

Unless you raised up some great kids, showed others how to have a great marriage like you did and blessed others greatly as a couple, better than you ever could have alone. Then your relationship with a significant other will have lasting results.

[Luke Skywalker]

However, I do feel for my mother. How would I feel if my mother died before seeing any grandchildren for example? She's close to 70 y/o and I'm 30 y/o, and it would take a miracle for that scenerio to happen.

 

The only regret would not be raising a family or having children to carry the family line. Children are the future and without marrying and raising a family, then what do we have that we can really call our own in this world. Or growing old together.

 

See, what would be regretted is NOT having a transient girlfriend, relationship, but not having a real wife that will stick through anything think or thin and grow old together and a family. These are things that one can say they are 'missing' something from, but a quick-fix relationship or girlfriend, that's just a band-aid idea, I cant see myself regretting not having some transient experience.

[Leonhart]

See, what would be regretted is NOT having a transient girlfriend, relationship, but not having a real wife that will stick through anything think or thin and grow old together and a family. These are things that one can say they are 'missing' something from, but a quick-fix relationship or girlfriend, that's just a band-aid idea, I cant see myself regretting not having some transient experience.

 

I agree, but Luke... you can't have a wife without first having a girlfriend. You can't have a family without going on some dates.

 

Unless we're talking arranged marriages, of course. lol

[quietgrl]

Hey !,a man could alway pull a Michael jackson by paying a woman to have your kid

[Leonhart]

That's the American way!

[Luke Skywalker]

I agree, but Luke... you can't have a wife without first having a girlfriend. You can't have a family without going on some dates.

 

Unless we're talking arranged marriages, of course. lol

 

The thread topic is "What if you died, never having a gf or relationship?" is a short-sighted question, and really precludes marriage since that seems to be a different concept to gf or relationship.

 

The assumption is 'experience', and if I would regret not having the experience of a transient relationship or having a transient girlfriend at some point in my life before I died, and, my reasoning is, unless I have some sort of permanent relationship then I do not see myself regretting something transient in nature.

 

Can anyone really regret not having a cheap thrill or transient experience on their death-bed?

 

Now, if we are looking at relationships with the opportunity to sincerely love someone and make a positive difference in someone's life, then maybe, not having that type of opportunity could be a premise of regret or mis-using such an opportunity to fill a selfish need could also be a basis of regret.

 

I'm telling you, people see things spiritually on their death-bed, right now we think we have lots of time, so we can afford to regret not having cheap thrills, but on a death-bed such thrills are a liability, not an asset.

[Leonhart]

Well, would your answer be any different if the question was "What if you died without ever having a wife?"

[Dako]

I've never been on my own death bed, but have held hands with a few dying people. I'm glad I won't leave this place without having been in love. It's the best thing I ever experienced.

[Leonhart]

Amen, Dako!

 

Even despite the pain it brought me, I am grateful to have experienced it just once. It was... nice, for all its glitz, glamour and brevity. I miss it... lol

[quietgrl]

Well if you never been in love, a dying person can't answer this question with honesty.

[Luke Skywalker]

Ok, personally, I'd be more worried about where I'm going next and being right with God, and what my lifestyle will show on judgement day. On Judgement day, all deeds done inside the body is going to be judged by God. One thing that I wont have to answer to God for is having or not relationship or gf, since I'm not commanded to have one. What people will have to answer for his how they spent their time and if they are good stewarts of time here on earth.

 

It seems highly unlikely that, given the strength of my spiritual and after-life beliefs - that a relationship or gf is such a small detail of life that bears no relevance on an eternal after-life - that this is going to be a serious reflection on a death-bed.

[Leonhart]

You almost sound scared about it.

[Luke Skywalker]

You almost sound scared about it.

 

I prefer that emotion over regret of not having a gf or relationship, but I'm not scared about it. It's the same feeling I get before I sue people and go before a judge where I'm not in control of the fate of judgement and feel anxious. I've been to court many times on various legal cases and want to be a lawyer perhaps someday, just to have that experience of going before judges to see outcomes of the cases. I know one day, everyone is going to be judged.

[Leonhart]

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love."

- 1 John 4:18

 

If you're not fearful, scared or anxious, then disregard that. You say you are anxious when you don't know the outcome - but this would be different, yes?