WorkoutAddict Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Not mad at him. I just don't understand his reaction, and I asked him for a break because he had been keeping that rude attitude lately; when he answered the phone it was now "what's up" snapping at me, instead of the "hi, baby, how are you?", and it was not because he had had a hard day; if this is how he is going to be in the future (if he gets back), honestly, I'd think it twice. Or thrice. His harsh attitude had been going on for several weeks and I don't deserve that, much less when I called to apologize. Many times I've told myself that I shouldn't have called and left things that way instead. Link to comment
Fineberg Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Well sounds like No Contact is the way to go then, atleast for the time being. Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 That's why I'm at Day 7 What would you have done in my case? Link to comment
Fineberg Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I would keep up NC since it doesn't sound like the two of you are on the best of terms and anymore contact with him may as well push him farther away. Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 it doesn't sound like the two of you are on the best of terms and anymore contact with him may as well push him farther away ...and it might have gotten worse in time. Maybe it wouldn't push him, but me, farther away. Maybe I shouldn't have called, but I think I did the right thing calling and apologizing since it was my fault when we argued. It was his choice to be rude instead of accepting my apologies. I was hoping that he would call and say "I'm sorry" and he hasn't; so I can't even think of getting back to someone who has more pride than love for me (after all didn't he say that he turned off the "love switch"?). Anyway, since day 1 of NC, he is not part of my plans either. He hurt me more than enough already. By this I'm just sparing myself more pain and preserving my dignity. Sorry, I needed to vent :sad: Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I agree with Fineberg here Celeste....you need to not contact him at all for you....don't worry about what he's thinking or that you somehow need to apologize. It's so hard I know, but drop it and realize that you are free from having to say or do anything concerning your ex. At some point perhaps, and I'm talking months from now, you can possibly say some things....but I'm betting if you focus your energies on yourself you'll have put him so far out of your life that you won't care to even talk to him at all. That's how I'm finally beginning to see things with my ex, after no contact for over 2 months. Keep reading what others are writing her and keep going to gym and doing things for yourself. You are strong and can do this...a day at a time. Coyote 1 Link to comment
Cletharin Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 It's Day 8. I have a problem. I may be pregnant. I'm going to have to break my NC if I am. All the signs point to yes, and I know he's not coming back.. Link to comment
waterbaby07 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 So it's almost midnight here, the beginning of Day 13 The weirdest feeling came over me today while I was studying at the library at school. I actually felt sorry for him. I felt so happy and lucky to be at a famous university, working on a grad degree that will give me a nice career and title. I have a bright future ahead of me- and i feel like it's his loss that he doesn't want to be a part of it. I did cry a few times today over him. I made the mistake of looking at some pics- happy times. I hate this- i feel like im bi-polar! Good news though- im going away for a few weeks and getting far far away from all this. I'm so excited! Cletharin: YIKES! Celeste: Your ex sounds a little like mine- he was sooo angry at me because of our last fight. He kept saying he wasn't angry but his actions told me otherwise. he broke up with me about a week after the fight. it took a couple weeks for him to even look at me again (we continued to live together for about 6 weeks) and this is only because i was really sweet to him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do- be sweet and nice to someone who was being cold to me. It kinda worked. He was flirty and friendly toward the end of my stay there, but still adamant that I wasn't happy with him and that we should go on our separate ways. Sometimes people just need time to cool down and come to their senses again. Like everyone else is saying, remain in NC and hopefully he'll come around (if that's what you want). Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Coyote Thank you I am really not going to contact him at all, ever. Last night I was thinking that I don't need his apologies and I don't give a damn about what he thinks of me. I gave 101% of myself in this relationship as I always do, I gave him time, support, love, everything I could; I was always there for him, when he wanted not to talk about a specific subject I gave him space and respected his decision until he felt like talking about it. I was a good girlfriend. It's his loss and he knows it. My pain is turning into anger and my best way to let it out is at the gym, which is my addiction I do appreciate your advice! Waterbaby can cool down and come to his senses, as you say, but I'm in NC until Christmas, I don't want him back... I never did anything to deserve that rude treatment and he knows that. And as I mentioned before too, if he thinks I'm going to call, text message or email him again, he can definitely get a comfortable chair, go rent a long movie and get himself a big bag of popcorn because it's going to be a very long (indefinite, rather) wait for him. Cletharin big hug... Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted June 27, 2007 Author Share Posted June 27, 2007 You guys keep up the good work! I konw its difficult but I want you all to know you can DO IT!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
spaced Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 7 - i have a good day then a bad..todays bad! I suppose thats better than every day being bad like in the beginning. Its just that when other worries and pressures in my life crop up the first thing i want to do is talk to her about it - like i used to. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 day 29... yeah its the big 3 0 tomoz...its a mini milestone and an achievement sure but cant say i feel estatic,...spose this is how tony blair feels hehe had dream about ex last night and we drove past our old place, he said it was a shame and then went up the hills near there...and he pulled me over ontop of him and tried to kiss me.... bloody dreams ey still the business is all set with lots of appointments to finalise everything, so im reminded that ive got a future to build me and the baby without him. its for the best i know in the long run, but doesnt make it much easier to deal with - had an offer of a date with an old ex...in two minds wether to go on it - i just dont want to be thinking 'hes not my recent ex' and end up missing ex even more...but....it could be a case of a great night and the next step to getting over ex, proof that hes just a man not 'the one man' and other guys can make me feel good too its a tough call and i dunno what to do..i would love the latter - would get me out of this hole i seem stuck in for the past week or so (and the rest ) having said that - im starting to feel anger towards ex now - is that another sign to the next stage of healing???? hope everyone else is doing ok....kgirl...love reading your stuff hehe!!! Link to comment
papalazarou Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 had an offer of a date with an old ex...in two minds wether to go on it - i just dont want to be thinking 'hes not my recent ex' and end up missing ex even more...but....it could be a case of a great night and the next step to getting over ex, proof that hes just a man not 'the one man' and other guys can make me feel good too Is this a date "date" or just a catch up? Either way I would say go and enjoy yourself!!!!! But make sure you pay your "half" to show that you not be interested in "that" way. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 this could be either - put it this way - if i want it, i can have it... hes not as good in the sack as my ex tho ... Link to comment
papalazarou Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 this could be either - put it this way - if i want it, i can have it... hes not as good in the sack as my ex tho ... At the moment I would say you dont want it. I know if you did you would regret it the next day. From a blokes point of view if you are up for it then he most likely is, never known a bloke to turn down a guaranteed one. Although who knows he may have learnt a few new tricks in your time apart! lol Link to comment
baden Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 2 Wow, first post in this incredibly long and great thread. I am the poster child of what NOT to do during a breakup and now struggling to pick myself up and move forward. I will never understand people that say they love and care for you and then wave as they walk away. Ahh well, time goes on and I shall too. Hope everyone is doing well today. Link to comment
papalazarou Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Good luck baden. It is a HELL of a journey. BUT you will be better for it in the end. Trust me. Link to comment
BrokenBear Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 10/11? - went for wings with old friends I hadn't seen in 6 months last night, re-hashed the events as they asked how I was doing, but found that I felt a bit better about it instead of breaking down when thinking about it. I have to keep telling myself I am better off without her, and she didn't deserve me/didn't appreciate what I gave her. I miss her dearly, but am able now to look back without feeling quite as much pain. I still think about her far too much for my own good though. Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I will never understand people that say they love and care for you and then wave as they walk away. You tell me Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted June 27, 2007 Author Share Posted June 27, 2007 Sometimes you can't look at it as negative...but positive. If you think about it like this... If you love them.....and I mean truly love them.....you will let them go because you do love them and want them to be happy. Of course it still hurts but sometimes we must let go in order to love again. Mother's watch their children or child grow...then they eventually leave the "nest" praying that they are safe, happy and find what it is they want in this short life we have. Maybe we can learn to wave back while saying..."I love you...and I always will,.....you have touched my heart in so many ways that other's ever could. I wish you the best no mater where you go....and I hope you find happiness." It's called unconditional love..... Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
smickey Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I'm back.... Broke NC yesterday after a long period but it has just confused me again and set me back. I thought I was ready to talk to him but I guess I'm not. It doesn't help that he's saying he's unsure and might want me back. I need to be tough and wait for him to SHOW it rather than just SAY it, but also be prepared that it will never happen (probably more likely...). So I'm back for another 30 days... Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted June 27, 2007 Author Share Posted June 27, 2007 I am soooo grabbing duct tape for Smickey!!! Welcome back Smickey! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Fineberg Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 7 of 100 Haven't heard from ex in over 36 hours and I am starting to realize a lot of things. 1) I can't make her come back, I can only give her time to miss me. 2) I want her to be happy, even if it's not with me, but I believe that eventually, when and if her and I are both ready, we could make each other happy again. 3) I am guaranteed to see her again since we both start school again in the fall. Wouldn't 90 days of NC be amazing? Think of all the healing, forgiveness, and nice thoughts we will have of each other in the mean time. 4) I was able to bring back things to good terms, now I want to keep them there while in NC, and the only way I can guarantee that is by STAYING in NC. 5) I am prepared if she "forgets" me or things about me. Good. When she comes back she will see a whole new me. I am gaining back my self-worth and confidence day-to-day and keeping myself busy. I know it will be much easier for someone to fall in love with the new and improved me then convince them why the old me is so great. I am really looking forward to summer. I do miss her a lot, but I am coming to accept that the only control I have over the situation is to let go. It'll also be interesting to see how she reacts to NC. I will proceed with this as if it was an experiment. We last spoke two nights ago. How much more can she go? Link to comment
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