Pending Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 SD, I know, I know. Ex started up faceboook after we broke up-with "inrelationship" in her status...later updated with it being the guy she cheated on me with(about 3 weeks after the breakup)... She's still on my facebook as a friend-but i've willed myself not to look at it sense I got the news about her new lover lol. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 8, 2007 Author Share Posted May 8, 2007 DOOH! HA HA HA Just STAY AWAY from it ok? Gah leeeee *sigh* -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Hi Aldo, As an act of self love, perhaps you could do something special for yourself today. Buy yourself flowers. Or a video game. Or a book. Or treat yourself to the movies. Something that lets you know that you love and will take care of you. Did just that, went and saw Spider-Man 3. It felt great, actually, to see a movie by myself. Been a long time since I've done that. Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 One week of strict NC Days are pretty much the same. Feel kinda numb most of the time. I push away all the bad thoughts and feelings. Also push away all the good memories that come to me. It will only make me miss her and bring on the bad thoughts and feelings. Like I've said before, trying to take this time to improve myself like you guys (especially SD) have suggested. I exercise, eat better, gonna start playing the guitar again (maybe I can impress some girls in the park ) and tomorrow I'm having my first class for my motorcycle licence. After a while I'm also gonna need more things to, anyone got any suggestions? Feelings today: numb, bitter, ambitious (at work), a bit lonely, excited (for the things I want to do) Link to comment
MsBear Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Super Dave, Can I join NC group? Well, I did NC for nearly 3 months by venting on YM offline messages to my ex thinking he would never use that anymore since I was the only one on his list. A few days ago, I decided to write few last lines to move on: a bit exaggerated the situation tho and left saying forever". The day after that, I got replies from him saying , just read my other posts 178859"] I was so shocked, couldnt believe that he replied, so all the things I vented there, he read them all. I dont want to get back with him but rather feel I need to do something because his words just screwed me up and I feel so low. So actually my NC started on the 6th ... SuperDave, please give me some perspective =) Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 SD, I'm also on the verge of going to Canada with the duct tape, but it's not for sandy, it's for the one who made her feel like this. And i'm planning a short hop accross the border to duct tape the one that made me feel like this! I've got my fighting trousers ready for the trip. Wanna come with?? shoes Link to comment
finalcloud13 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I'm on Day 3 now. I want to sign on to Windows Live Messenger and set my status as Online instead of Appear Offline, so that my ex can see I'm online, so that she'll hopefully message me or something > Still, I'm not liking this growing distant from her. I wish there was another way. Link to comment
dtman85 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 yea, i would wait for her to msg me on msn..when i see her on..i would just pop in and wait..sometime she msg and sometime she doesn't....It made me happy when she does..it bring me down when she doesn't....So i realize the best idea was to block and delete her...so i don't have to wait around for her or see her msn name...it help you heal...i haven't added her back on cuz i am still healing it been almost one month... Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Well, it is now the 9th, so my week of NC has turned into 8 days! Woohoo, I feel great Link to comment
finalcloud13 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I admit that I'm keeping my status on Appear Offline on WLM (Windows Live Messenger) for conflicting reasons; If I appear offline to her, she won't message me, then it'll be a bit easier to do NC since I won't have to respond to her. However, at the same time I'm really hoping that I'm making her miss me not being around to message at her leisure, so that if I ever do switch my status to Online, she'll be all trying to message me =( Of course, it doesn't even mean anything if she messages me, it just makes me happy that she wants to talk to me (Which I know I'm overanalyzing that her wanting to talk to me = she likes me). So I don't know why I can't get rid of that false logic. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Had to post on here, had another dream about her. In this dream I was heading over to her house to talk to her since the break up, and when I woke up I had the same pit in my stomach I always have when waking up from such a dream I feel ok now, now that I'm up and posting on the net, but dangit, I thought I was over these dreams! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Day 86 I've been writing a letter to him in my mind since last night. Want to tell him that I will always love him, don't hate him, despite bad ending, and trust that someday in the future we can be friends again. Because the kind of love I currently have for him is filled with desire, I don't believe I can be friends with someone if I can't hear about his love life, and that's something I most definitely can't do. I recognize that this is a ploy, an attempt to entice him back, and I will state that in my letter if I do send one. It's also likely that I will write the letter, but not send to him. Perhaps I'll post it here instead. My chief rationalization and justification for this letter is to own my love, something I never had the courage to do while we were together. In AA, we learn to be leery of rationalization and justification, and so I will not take the actual step of sending the letter without much meditation and counsel from others, since my motives are probably not trustworthy in this particular arena. I don't mean to be confusing by mentioning this here since the purpose of this thread is NC. Certainly I don't recommend this as a course of action to anyone. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of NC, and would encourage everyone to stick to NC no matter what for the challenged 30 days. At a minimum. As I approach 90 days, a significant number for people in AA, it's likely that I will stop posting in this thread. I will stop counting my days here; that much is certain. This challenge -- and the people here -- helped me SOOOOO much. Want to report good news: Last night I bought my second computer ever. I'm realizing a big dream with this purchase. I do have a laptop from work that I keep at home, but it's not private. I plan to use my computer for creating a spending plan, tracking my finances, and writing my memoirs. My therapist suggested a good book to me, _The Glass Castle_ by Jeannette Walls. It's not the first memoir I've read, but it's inspiring me to start my own. As my threads tend to be quite wordy, I suspect just writing a similar amount each day for a year could be enough to produce my book. Fingers crossed. Unfortunately (blessing in disguise: fortunately -- if it adds up to a book, and my trials and tribulations help another), I've survived lots of stuff as touched upon in Have a nice day, everyone. Keep doing NC! -Rosie Link to comment
dtman85 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 well my nc was broken again, she called me this morning...well i was still sleeping.. I was thinkin about picking up but then i just did..we jus had a normal conversation don't know why she call me so early..we probably talk about 30 mins and she mention what she have been doing of late.. i responded by not caring what she did. She also mention, that she was on msn yestarday and didnt see me on. Ask if i deleted her off msn or i didn't respond to her question and she was saying i was looking for your all over msn but you weren't on and your always on. I was like why are you lookin for me...she's like does it matter.. I don't know why she's contacting me...After i am doing NC...Even thou i miss her but she's just making it hard on me... Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Today is his birthday. I'm off to a spa appointment. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Day 3... Slightly better day today and was able to actually concentrate at work for most of the day. It's my night off from the gym(you have to have a night off!) so just going to chill and watch some tv, read some threads on here and so on. Just try and keep busy really.. Spoke to a few work colleagues today about how I am feeling and so on as they all know I have split up with her. Well she used to work there and she came along to nights out and so on so they know her anyway. I am glad they are able to listen to my moans and groans it's nice to get things out and also get peoples opinions on things..well wouldnt be on here if did not need help getting through this.. Still no contact from her following my last text message about her contacting me when she is free to sort this mobile (cell) phone contract stuff out.. Still don't get this at all.. Surely she would want to just call and get it over with.. People at work reckon she is hurting more than I reaise and is finding this hard too (they are not sure just generalising). They might be right so perhaps thats why she wont call or contact well not yet about the phone.. who knows.. again over analysing it.. any thoughts on this guys and girls? Just bothered that she may leave it a few weeks then make contact and I am back at square one or she leaves it for me to contact which I wont well not until the 90 days or 60 days minimum before I think I will feel ok with it.. It's the only thing that is kinda doing my head in as just waiting for that contact to sort it out.. LOL.. Get a grip andy..! Link to comment
sandyv Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 SD, I'm also on the verge of going to Canada with the duct tape, but it's not for sandy, it's for the one who made her feel like this. And i'm planning a short hop accross the border to duct tape the one that made me feel like this! I've got my fighting trousers ready for the trip. Wanna come with?? shoes Thanks Shoes, your the best Me, I dunno how many days its been, things have been in a blur..... SD - I'm really doing the best I can with NC, cause there's nowhere else to turn at this point..... Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 I am soooooooooooooooooooooo coming with ya Comphy!!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
sandyv Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Day 24 Haven't posted since Day 10 but things have been going pretty good. To be honest I think not posting everyday to talk about how well I'm doing has actually done me good. Happy to say 'she' is hardly on my mind now, just every now & again Hey Screen really happy to hear that, I'm working threw this stuff for the 2nd time......](*,) Link to comment
sandyv Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Don't stress Sandy, we've all been there Thanks Screen, I'm beginning tomorrow by getting my butt back to work..... lots of BIG lies to tell.... yikes.... Link to comment
Pending Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I gotta say, to all of you guys who are going through NC-ignoreing the messeges, calls, etc... of your ex's...guys i'm impressed. Really, 3 weeks of no contact on both our sides(no attempt from her), I can't really say if I could ignore any attempt at contacting me. edit: Sandy, Well me & my ex had a little breakup of six months....not sure if I can relate completely though. Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's the second time sandy, and it hurts worse than the first! I'm on my way back up after going through it for the 6th time! ^ times with the same woman! I will do evreything in my power to stop that from happenig to anyone else here. You get inot a deeper hole evrytime it happens and it's harder to claw your way out. I'm happy to put myself forward as the poster girl for how not to deal with a break up and things not to do after a break up. y'all here me? shoes Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's the second time sandy, and it hurts worse than the first! I'm on my way back up after going through it for the 6th time! ^ times with the same woman! I will do evreything in my power to stop that from happenig to anyone else here. You get inot a deeper hole evrytime it happens and it's harder to claw your way out. I'm happy to put myself forward as the poster girl for how not to deal with a break up and things not to do after a break up. y'all here me? shoes Hmmm ... so based on what you're saying ... and I read many of your posts from Jan / February, Comfy, when I first arrived ... I'm bonkers to think of approaching my ex? Especially after 86 days of strict NC. Hmmm ... I do recall SuperDave saying in a different thread, if I don't do anything, I can't do anything wrong. Here's my current, probably twisted, logic: Rex behaved so badly at the end, he's probably too embarrassed to contact me, even though he's realized how much he loves me ... ohmigosh ... SuperDave, is some duct tape needed? Link to comment
sandyv Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I gotta say, to all of you guys who are going through NC-ignoreing the messeges, calls, etc... of your ex's...guys i'm impressed. Really, 3 weeks of no contact on both our sides(no attempt from her), I can't really say if I could ignore any attempt at contacting me. edit: Sandy, Well me & my ex had a little breakup of six months....not sure if I can relate completely though. Well its awful actually, feeling like he ripped me a new hole basically Link to comment
JadedStar Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Well its awful actually, feeling like he ripped me a new hole basically Sandy, I know this is harsh, but i am a realist....now that you know this guy is a A Hole, it is up to you to never allow him to rip you a new one ever again. I hope you stick to this girlfriend. Can't get blood out of a turnip! And I know it's hard as he11. But not impossible. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Link to comment
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