Shaker Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 How I feel about breaking NC: pretty good (sorry SD). I had a great conversation with my ex and I feel more secure in where things stand between us. I should say that I will be returning to NC for a while because I need to clear my head, keep pushing forward with my life, etc. But for one night, it was worth it. I also feel exhausted. Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Day 5 NC - she called last night to find out how my move went... didnt answer. I toyed all day with the idea of emailing her to apologize for not answering and to tell her to call after a certain time... thought I sent the email...THEN I got home, checked my outbox and realized I didnt send it!!!! What a relief, modern technology kept me in check. Sleeping at the new place for the first time tomorrow night, hope I dont break for lonliness... I better go out and party a lil. Link to comment
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Day 5 or 6. I really don't know. Well i broke NC in a way. I got an ambush email attack from an ex that I was trying to avoid for a while. Not my wife, but the woman from my class that I have some resentments against. It turns out my heart is still attached to. Really this NC thing should have included her, because the NC with my wife is super easy. She moved to another province and another city. The only way she would get in touch with me is through her lawyer to mine. She would have to go through extreme measures to contact me (calling people who know my new unlisted number, and there aren't that many) and I have no way of getting in touch with her even if I wanted to. So yeah, this email. She makes some statements that I want to respond to, and I think to myself, "it would be juvenile not to respond to her" so I do, and her response initiates another response, and now I'm back to where I started recovery wise which is a long step backwards. She is in a relationship with someone. She wanted to be friends and I couldn't do it. How can I be a friend to someone who I want so much more from. Having her dangling in front of me just out of my reach. She always had the control in our relationship, something that I still resent. The only way I felt like I had any say was when I told her I couldn't see or talk to her anymore. Anyway the emails back and forth are over. I won;t be responding to her last one because it hurts too much. I feel crappy and deflated. Unlovable and ugly. I want to wrap myself in the covers and wake up in the spring time when all of his has settled somewhat and I can go out and meet someone that doesnt yank at my heart strings like my ex's. So there you go. Ain't love grand. Link to comment
nym9876 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I broke NC on Wednesday afternoon. Ex kept trying to stop the NC I had started and at one point Wednesday night began to give me guilt for it. I was doing so well, too, having 3 days in the challenge and 15 days in total. Although I wasn't my usual needy and begging self, I'm still just disappointed in letting myself down by initiating communication. The only problem is, deep down, I still think I'm doing this so maybe she'll come back. No matter what I try to force myself to think and believe I can't deny how I really feel. Link to comment
slayer44 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Day 3 of NC. 34 Days since break up. Not doing very well. Keep thinking about how he couldn't even look me in the eye when he brought my stuff to me a couple days ago. Song: "Goodbye My Lover" I don't know why I'm still crying. I don't think I'll ever be okay. We go to the same college, and it starts in a couple days. I don't know what to do if I see him on campus. Will this get better? Does the fact that I've cried every day for the past 34 days mean I'll never feel better again? Shouldn't I be over this? Link to comment
Biffy Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Day 3 of NC. 34 Days since break up. Not doing very well. Keep thinking about how he couldn't even look me in the eye when he brought my stuff to me a couple days ago. Song: "Goodbye My Lover" I don't know why I'm still crying. I don't think I'll ever be okay. We go to the same college, and it starts in a couple days. I don't know what to do if I see him on campus. Will this get better? Does the fact that I've cried every day for the past 34 days mean I'll never feel better again? Shouldn't I be over this? Give yourself a chance, Rome wasn't built in a day. I work with my ex so have to see her everday and I'll tell you exactly how you should handle seeing your ex on campus. You hold your head up high - literally, look as happy as you can (fake it til you make it), you avoid places you know he may be as best you can, if you do see him, smile, wave and that is all. If he inititates some conversation, be polite, upbeat and short. Do not reveal anything about whats going on in your life especially your feelings for him and do not ask anything about him. Also, make sure any mutual friends know to not tell you anything about your ex and to not tell him anything about you. Keep your focus on yourself, try to set yourself some attainable targets for self-improvement and know that it's ok to be hurting over this, this wound is still pretty raw. Listening to Slayer may help too! Link to comment
papalazarou Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Sandy V - Nice smile babe! xx Parsley - If thats you in your avatar then you have nothing to worry about. My thoughts on "dating" it does boost your confidence and I think you should do it. You dont have to sleep with them but you should open your mind to the possibilities that there might, just might be someone better than the ex out there. *This is not the same as a rebound relationship where you jump into bed with the first thing that shows an interest.* Link to comment
slayer44 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Zombiain Thank you for not thinking I'm crazy for still being somewhat obsessed over this...it's hard to go from seeing someone everyday, and sleeping with them every night....to them not wanting to talk to you. I had my whole future planned out...but that's gone. I'm trying to look at it as exciting. That I don't know what's going to happen... I don't know if it will be better or worse when I go to school. It'll remind me of him a lot...but I guess there will be more things to do, and keep my mind off of it. It's just hard cause I'm confused as to what the h-e-double hockeysticks happened. If anyone is bored and has spare time..I posted in "breaking up" it's under "Help.Confused. Very long" I'd like peoples input. I respect all of you very much. Everyone is hurting, but still finds the time to give words of encouragement to others. This site has helped quite a lot... Link to comment
little red Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Ok, ok, I'm doing this now ... He's not an ex as such but he's someone who I love, but shouldn't - he's not good for me (can't believe I've just admitted that!) and thereforeeee need to stop all communication with. I have been following this thread for a while now and thinking I really need to take up the challenge and do what I know needs to be done but I kept telling myself that I wasn't ready, that there were things that I hadn't said, or that we might be able to find a way that staying in contact would be ok. But it's not ok and after communication with him yesterday, I have decided that enough is enough and I am ready and able to take up this challenge. I can't promise to post every day but I will when I can ..... I know already that it won't be easy .... have tried so many times to be strong, but need to believe that this time will be different. Thanks LR Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I have an announcement... My relationship is OVER! My choice...no space, no let's be friends, no let's see what happens...nothing. He has caused me enough heartache and pain and who ever gets him next is very welcome to him. I don't care what happens to him, I have spent too many hours crying and worrying 2007 is for me!!! xxx So NC should be a breeze now x Link to comment
lucy1981 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 On day 6 now... last night i had my first contact from him via text.. "hey lucy, hope ur ok, i'm thinking of u. Get in touch when your ready but i totally understand if you need a while..." Grrr. Trying to be the nice guy. Well at least now it will be more obvious to him that I'm not contacting him! I haven't and WILL NOT respond to this. Having this time has given me a much better perspective on the situation. I am better off without him, it is his loss, and GOOD LUCK to him finding someone as accepting of him and patient with him! He was a total pain in the bum!!! Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Yayyy Lucy I received a short email as well last night... J....just wanted to say hi. It's been a tough week. I hope you're ok.I really do.... Hmmm...not sure why he wouldn't think I'm ok...but I'm not analyzing it. Link to comment
LLammas Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Beginning of Day 3 for me. Last night was the first in a week that I didn't spend crying. I made plans for the weekend- another step, since it's been so long since I've done anything without him. We'll see where today takes me. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I KNOW I said I wasn't going to check my email for two weeks...and I ended up signing onto that account without thinking first. Ugh....oh well.....no biggie. Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Agh! Yet another dream about him emailing me. It gets so confusing and means the next day I'm always half expecting something. I just don't know what to think now...I think I kind of want him to get in touch - regardless of whether I choose to reply or not. I seriously doubt he will. It took enough effort to get him to reply to me when we were going out, the chances of him taking the initiative and contacting me are nil. So now I'm having to force myself not to email him with false forgiveness just because I want to know that he's feeling guilty. And I know that knowing that wouldn't help me get past this. But it's just so difficult. Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Hi Parsley, Just your sub-conscious speaking...when my ex left me I would wake up in a sweat dreaming all kinds of things from us being back together to me killing him! It's because he is on your mind so much he is bound to creep in to your dreams...ignore them, they are not telling you anything! x Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Lol, thanks. I don't think that because I dreamt he contacted me that he will...it just puts the idea further forward in my mind. Before I started dreaming about it, I barely even considered the notion that he would get in touch. I just don't think he's that kind of person - he kept everything inside while we were still together and wouldn't let me help him, no matter how hard I tried to. He definitely wouldn't tell me if he were having second thoughts. Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Starting Day 5 of the challenge Doing pretty good this morning. Did pretty good last night also. Went to bed early and slept great again. Looking forward to the weekend! Going out tonight and tomorrow night with friends Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Share Posted January 12, 2007 Gooooood Morning Everyone taking my challenge!!! It has been ONE WEEK TODAY since I started this challenge and I really have NO WORDS to describe how I am feeling right now. I am soooooo amazed how you guys are helping one another out there. No matter where you are or how much you are hurting...people are here (including me) to listen and give you encouragement along the way. If this was a movie....I would picture everyone running up on the beach like 'Saving Private Ryan'....The machine guns would be a "breakup" gun. If you get hit with it..you feel HORRIBLE and sad and lonely. You may fall but those around you come to PICK YOU UP!! There is one thing I noticed so far more than anything. I want to share this with everyone and anyone that reads this thread: You guys have been the most loving, caring, respectable, responsible, compasionate, inspirational and giving group I have ever been a part of and I am soooo proud to be here with you. I have never been more serious. NC is very difficult. The rage of emotions that play out inside are numbing. You guys have not only accepted my challenge, you are DOING IT. I have read MANY MANY posts saying how so many individuals COULDN'T do NC. Look at you now. Though difficult, you ARE DOING IT. You guys have been a backbone to so many that are NOT a part of this challenge. There those those that are following this thread in hopes of having the courage to do eactly what you guys are doing. No matter what your goals are in this life, no matter what obsticles you come accross, no matter how down and out you may feel, THERE IS HOPE. Hope will set you free. If you stop negative feelings from creeping in your mind, your heart and your lifestyle...ladies and gentlemen of eNotalone THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO!! You are God's gifts. All of you. Not trying to preach here but..do you see that to help strangers through a crisis which possibly could be one of the most tramatic times for some is God's love. We are here to love one another and to guide one another. I found this forum in late 2004 and I have never left. I healed. I was sooo down but I got thru it and I am here to HELP AS MANY PEOPLE AS I CAN. I want to share my knowledge with everyone. I know in the future, possibly many years from now...when your friend is down, your children, your mom or your dad, ANYONE that is going thru what you are right now... YOU WILL BE THERE TO HELP. You will give them the very core of knowledge that you learned here. Not from me...but from one another. I am soooooo proud of each and every one of you..I cannot express that enough. We are one week in this. Those of you out there who are thinking of joining this challenge...WE WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS.. come on in.... We will help you along the way...because as far as I am concerned.. NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND.. I love you all, SuperDave71 Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Who'd have thought that appealing to the basic human competitive nature (in turning NC into a 'challenge') so many people would band together to get and receive help? Thank you for giving me something to focus on and somewhere to go when I just can't stand being alone anymore x Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Share Posted January 12, 2007 Parsley, You are MOST welcome... -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 SD: Just curious - are you in the challenge yourself? Or have you been and thereforeeee know the benefits it brings? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Share Posted January 12, 2007 Parsley, I have been there...done that..got the t-shirt AND franchise agreement. ha ha. I know and preach the benefits it brings.... TRUST ME ON THIS ONE... I am here to HELP YOU! PERIOD. Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
meantime Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I am sitting here at my computer and his name is up in the corner on AIM, I put it back on because it reminds me if I hit his name and send a message I am setting myself up for maybe a weekend of fun and a break from missing his so much, but definitely prolonged heartache. It is my choice everyday to do something to get out of this horrible place which is NC or do something that will keep me in it for who knows how long... Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Meantime, Stay in NC...e-mail somebody else and have a weekend of fun x Link to comment
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