THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Parsley]

Distraction is the key! I discovered this yesterday. I realised that I'd barely thought of my ex all day. Why? Because my 6th month old nephew was sucking on my chin for the majority of my waking hours.

[sandyv]

Parsley: Its true we don't even realize it, but little by little, the pain in much less and that's something to look forward to I think

[Parsley]

It is! I remember myself before I even met my ex and I can't wait to get back to that! I know there will be tough days, but they'll get further and further apart as long as I don't let myself dwell on them right?

 

And if you continue to show me that winning smile then who knows what I can achieve!

[sandyv]

Yeah Parsley so true, I just wanna get me back to where I was too, and thanks this thread makes me smile even more than before, wow that rymed, haha

 

 

[Parsley]

lol I'm glad you're smiling!

 

It's weird. Coming here and being able to talk to other people and not necessarily about my problem is making me feel so much better. Distracting myself with other people maybe? I don't know. But I still feel so much better for being able to talk about it again and again if I need to. Also when I don't want to talk about it there aren't those awkward pauses like you get with friends when they're not sure how to treat you.

 

Woot for ENA!

 

x

[sandyv]

Good to hear that, me too, I feel better having people to talk to as well, It really, really helps, and SD has a way of making us see the light too

[Parsley]

Lol he does!

 

Wow...I feel reeeallly happy. I don't know if this is going to last until I finally decide to go to sleep, but who cares?

 

Maybe I didn't love him as much as I thought I did? My last break up was a mutual thing - my heart wasn't broken, and I wasn't this bright two weeks afterwards.

[Shaker]

I've lost my nerve, and now have to go through with seeing my ex and have....nothing...to say.

 

That's why you shouldn't break no contact.

 

Yep.

[sandyv]

Yep Parsley, lets enjoy it as long as possible, every day is a new day!

 

Hey and Shaker, give the ex thing serious thought, don't let it get you down ok?

[Shaker]

Thanks, Sandy. I like your new pic. It's inviting.

[sandyv]

Hey Shaker, thnx, nice compliment

[Aerozeppelin]

day 6

 

feeling like I might crack and check his facebook...I badly want to look at it...how how how do I not do this?!!

 

I know that I will be disappointed in myself afterward so that's why I haven't done it yet

[sandyv]

Keep telling yourself Aero..... that its just gonna bring ya down, cause I'm pretty sure you know it will, DON'T GO THERE .... please?

 

Hugz

[LindsayTD]

Day 31- Today was okay. I was extremely busy at school, but now I'm at home. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. Thank God he doesn't have a myspace. That would be so tempting. His friends do though and I found out they're all going to Las Vegas in a couple weeks. All I'll be thinking about when I know hes there is if hes hooking up with any girls. I miss him.

[Enitsirk]

Ok, I agree not to contact my ex....I think it's because my anger has set in. We started to date in 2002. In Feb 2006 we got married. We wanted to have a baby together but that was impossible because my tubes were tied( I have two sons). So, I checked into having a tubal reversal. In May 2006 we flew out to Atlanta to see a specialist and I had tubal reversal surgery. We conceived in the latter part of July. I am 6 months pregnant. During the Christmas Holiday my husband told me he wanted a divorce and that there was NO changing his mind. He has already filed the papers. He told me that he wasn't in love with me and that he hadn't been in love with me in years. He said he was just too nice to tell me the truth. He is insisting on a divorce and says he regrets that I am pregnant. I was in total shock, I thought I was in a happy marriage. Some days all I can do is cry, other days I am angry. Today is an angry day.

[sandyv]

Enitsirk: That guy is a real jerk....you are better off without him, I'm so sorry for your pain...... mine couldn't be anywhere close to yours... take it easy, it'll be ok... I know it doesn't feel that way, time, friends, ENA....... you will go through tons of anger, sadness, and some GOOD days too.....

 

Hugz

 

Sandy

[boosted4life84]

Finishing up Day 1, and it has been SO hard. Today, I went back and read all of the emails that we sent each other over the past three years and it actually made me feel a bit better just being able to remember all of the great times. Her mom sent me an email saying how much she and the rest of the family missed me and that tore me up. I cried for about 30 minutes after reading it. I have not only lost the person I care about the most, I have lost the friendship of her parents and siblings. This is going to be MUCH harder than I ever imagined.

 

Well, I gotta go get ready for my usual Thursday night outing with the Subaru guys. Hopefully they'll help me get my mind off of things.

 

Marshall

[sandyv]

Marshall: Thats the way to go, just keep doing your guy stuff, and you WILL feel better, distraction is GREAT Us girls already discovered that .... lol

[vesper]

Day 2 - I come home from work and want to just veg out. My first instinct says to go to his myspace page and just zone out for a second. BUT NO!

I come here instead to say that I did not go on there.

 

Today was fantastic Did not think about him only had to finally tell my boss that I am sepratred from him and that felt WONDERFUL!

 

Bowling EVENT came up at work next Friday night we are all going as a company and they asked that you bring your significant other.

 

A friend of mine at work told me I should bring my ex and she knows that we are not together.

 

I talked about him at lunch today we went out 10 of us to mexican food and I described a christmas shopping experience that was about him.

 

I stopped wearing my watch that was exactly like his because it is too heavy.

 

Several people here and there know about my and my husband not being together anymore but at some point especially at bowling I have to make a public explanation on our separation.

 

My gut tells me not to bring him. Although people are asking me where he is. Actually I CANT bring him according to the NO CONTACT CHALLENGE!!!!!!

 

 

YES!!!!!!!!!!

 

People have heard of my split and Im slightly on edge about how best to explain it, but I find that describing it as simply and directly as possible is really has worked the best so far.

 

Now I have to just figure out what to do with my time besides zone out on Enotalone.

 

DAY 2 COMPLETE!!

 

[luciand]

Heh... I think I should join this challenge. I was struggling in the beginning, then kinda stopped (after initiating NC ), and now it's hard again since she won't respect my terms of NC ( -.- ).

[sandyv]

Yep Luciand you should jump into the POOL, RIGHT NOW, ok..... just do it ok?

 

 

[luciand]

maybe tom. the red wings are on right now

 

mmmmm hockey

[sandyv]

Luciand: Who is Tom? lol.....

[SuperDave71]

WOOOO HOOOO...you go Sandy!!!

 

 

LOOK AT THAT SMILE!!!!!! WOOO HOOOOO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I knew you could do it!!!

 

 

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[need2bme]

Enitsirk: First thing is first. I am so sorry about what has happened to you. That is total crap, bullox, crud, or whatever you want to call it. For that guy to do this, shows a lack of everything. It is one thing to leave someone and lie about a guy/girl or cheating, but it is a whole other dastardly thing to get a woman pregnant and leave her.

 

Many, many hugs for you and I am totally here for ya, if you need to PM.

 

As for me, well lets just say that I spiraled downhill real quick. I was doing so well and then I had to see the ex to move and she treated me so well and then sprung the "other guy" stuff on me. I know that she has his stuff in one of the rooms in our place (that I have to move out of this weekend) now behind a locked door. I questioned her about it and she lied. I know what is in there, because I found the key. Please tell me if I should confront her about it.

 

I mean why oh why would you tell someone, read me, that you love them and act as if you are having the time of your life with them, and then spring the other guy on them and lie to me? Plus, wouldn't this other guy be upset if he knew what we did? Hell, why can't I tell her that it is not cool that I cannot tell him squat and she can totally tell me about him? I am going to tell her what that made me feel like...

 

As for NC, which is what this thread is about, is something I desperately need to do. However, until all the bills are transferred (we have to add her first, because of her credit, then wait a while to take me off), the lease, insurance, AAA, lagging mail and so forth, I will have to be in contact with her.

 

Can I just go LC for a while and then join. I need some support here, because she is ripping a hole in my very soul. I can physically feel my heart breaking. I cannot bear to hear more about this other guy.

 

OK, I want to quote some advice here that someone sent/told me, so others may be able to use it.

 

 

 

So, I wrote that I know that basically all this is natural, but I cannot just be friends and I still don't know how to turn it on and off. I don't know how she does it. I am going to call her on the carpet this weekend, so we shall see.

 

Here is the reply to that, from another person, in an email.

 

 

 

I hope some of this helps and I can get a little advice. Thanks.