redreine Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 And here we are. I'm back together with my ex. Everyone thinks I'm desperate and pathetic and all that...but sometimes you just know you need to be with someone. I don't know how to explain it, and I don't really care if I change anyone's opinion on me or my guy...I just know we can't live without each other. At least, not very well. Thanks ena, for always being there for me. Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 8 Came real close to breaking it yesterday. Today is going better, aside from the fact that my alarm didn't go off. Scheduled a meeting with the local gym guy to set up a membership tomorrow. Finally. Being in a little better physical condition will make me feel a lot better. Still missing her. I cleaned up her bunny's cage (which is in my front lawn, she still takes care of him) today, felt good about that, maybe she'll notice. Not like it'll matter anyway. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 22 - Feels harder to do the NC because I feel like there's still so much to be said/felt between me and my ex. Starting to get harder to keep NC. However, I promised myself 30 days and I'm getting there!! After DAY 30, I will figure how to proceed! I miss him SO much though. It's SO weird after almost 4 years being SUCH a part of each other's life and now, 22 days with NO CONTACT AT ALL. Ugh, it's crazy and hard. Link to comment
Xplode Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 ok 2 days in, and i miss her but, if i need to keep on my strategy of concentrating on what made us split up. and why this is better. she called last night, and my blood was churning through me like there is no tomorrow. I resisted answering and im gonna keep going forward.. this time, if she realises she has made a mistake. she can fight her way back into my life! DAY 3 here we come! Link to comment
JuneBug Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I'm just wondering...when is it ok to contact the ex? I was with him for three years, and we were each other's first love. I know people will answer "when you're over him completely"...but I don't want to wait perhaps even a year before I can contact him. I don't want to wait until we're complete strangers because then even friendship cannot be salvaged. I told him I need some time to get over this, and he said he would be waiting until I'm ok so we can be friends...but I'm not sure when that is. I know there are some who contact their ex after a month and it feels like they reverted back to day 1 again. I REALLY don't want that to happen. I really want to just be happy for him and let him go. However, I also don't want to contact him so soon so that he knows I'm always going to be there for him. As I recall, he still asks his friends on occasion how I'm doing, and I'm afraid he will not miss me anymore once I'm back in his life. I refuse to be in anybody's pocket. Is there a way to strike a balance? It's been NC for about 40 days now and I can't help wondering what he's doing. How soon has anybody contacted their ex and is still holding their ground? Link to comment
rayah Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 It's been NC for about 40 days now and I can't help wondering what he's doing. How soon has anybody contacted their ex and is still holding their ground? it took me 7 months...b/c we stayed friends from the beginning of the break up...it was HORRIBLE. i would say wait 50 more days, 3 months should be just enough time. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 6 Not quite sure how im feeling today, confused, lonely, angry... Saw her car last night, she was pulling out of the petrol station as I was pulling in and then I got a text basically saying 'sorry would have hung about to chat but i've got loads to do tonight' in fact I was quite relieved that was the case, didn't reply anyway. I've just been reading through peoples posts about when the best time for friendship is with an ex, to be honest even if/when i'm over this I still dont think i'm ever going to be able to be just her friend... shes my wife and in my eyes i think that will always be the case. I think its going to have to be an all or nothing situtaion. According to her mum & sister life on the other side isn't treating her as well as she had hoped, think living back at home is getting her down, shes just come back from a girly holiday and apparently it wasn't quite as good as shes was expecting. I'm not sure how to feel about that, I dont want her to come back just because she feels she had it better with me, or do I? Link to comment
philove Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day - 20 For the first time since we broke up I woke up this morning without thinking about my ex. I had a strange dream last night about a girl I know who I really like but lets just say she is unavaliable! Anyway from the moment I woke up I was thinking about her and not my ex. Then I thought 'hang on what's going on?!' and I thought about my ex again. Could this be a sign that i'm getting over her? I hope this carries on because it definitely helps you start the day on a better note Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 37 (I've started counting again) I really miss her today. I woke up thinking about her which I haven't done for ages, and I dreamed about her a couple of times last week too which worries me. I don't want to revert back to my old thought patterns again, why is it that all of the painful thoughts return in waves just when you think you've conquered them? The lack of regular physical contact with another person is getting to me. I'm a really tactile person and the little bit of fun I had with my co-worker at the weekend just made me realise how much I miss touching and being touched by another person, it reminded me of happier times. I think of all the physical contact she is getting with her boyfriend and I feel sick, jealous and angry that I have been replaced. With every day that goes by I wonder if my ex will contact me just to see how I'm doing, or if she's thinking about me at all anymore. I know she isn't, the weekend was probably the last time and that was only because it was my birthday. It feels so strange that we have gone from 2 years of happiness to NOTHING in the space of a few months, it feels wrong and just makes me so sad. The thing that upsets me the most is the fear that we may never be able to be even just friends one day. Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 6 and it's a tough one. Thought that I was finally starting to feel better and now sitting here at my desk I'm fighting back the tears. Seeing him last week and now not hearing from him again has just set me back. He's not the type to play games with people, at least I didn't think he was and now I'm just not sure about anything. I start wondering if he's waiting to hear from me because of a comment he made during a phone conversation. I ignored quite a few of his calls before I called him back and he asked if I was avoiding him and that he didn't want to be a pain in my a**. Just those thoughts that go through my head that maybe I'm not handling this right and maybe I need to reach out to him a little bit. I'm so sad and confused today. I feel as though the 3 months that I worked so hard to start healing and taking care of me has gone right down the drain. Link to comment
longdist Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 6. I keep dreaming about my ex almost every night and it has been 2-1/2 months since the breakup. At least in the new dreams, she is welcoming me back into her life, rather than the opposite. Overall, I've been feeling pretty good though, but I'm sure a wave of bad feelings will come soon enough. I can't help, but continue to think that my ex and I are meant to be together. I keep telling myself to give up though. She is dating a friend of 7 years (found that out after breaking NC of a month) and it is not my place to cause any interference, especially after being the poison in our relationship for the past couple of years. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Honestly I just want to forget about him at this point..... Can't believe I'm wasting all that energy thinking and worrying about him. This really has to change ... Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day - 20 For the first time since we broke up I woke up this morning without thinking about my ex. I had a strange dream last night about a girl I know who I really like but lets just say she is unavaliable! Anyway from the moment I woke up I was thinking about her and not my ex. Then I thought 'hang on what's going on?!' and I thought about my ex again. Could this be a sign that i'm getting over her? I hope this carries on because it definitely helps you start the day on a better note I woke up without thinking of mine, now that I look back at it! But perhaps that IS because I didn't set my alarm last night and woke up in a panic to rush in and hand in a report I had due for today Day 4 I'm making the most of enjoying today, last night was a great spirits boost for me being on here and I'm riding the wave while it lasts. I'm gonna treat myself to lunch from the nearby bakery, then I'm spending the afternoon cooking a really satisfying meal (been doing a lot of home cooking since the breakup, its been helping!) and spending the night studying. Lets hope that keeps me distracted enough. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Other than a few down moments I have been feeling pretty strong the last couple of days... Until 2 mins ago when my wedding song came on the radio at work, I have just broken down and burst into tears in the middle of my office! I feel very low right now! Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Other than a few down moments I have been feeling pretty strong the last couple of days... Until 2 mins ago when my wedding song came on the radio at work, I have just broken down and burst into tears in the middle of my office! I feel very low right now! I feel for you, music can be both healing and destructive My only suggestion is try and think of something you can do for YOU when you finish work tonight. A sort of reward if you will for getting through the day, and try and focus your efforts of the day towards that reward. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Hi guys. After about 37 days of NC, my ex started calling again. I'm genuinely confused. If any of you have a spare moment...check out my thread detailing the situation and give me some advice. I would really appreciate comments/advice from any of you or all of you. Thanks for helping me so far. Day 1 again, I guess. Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 8 Still Was at a mutual (between me and my ex) friend's house and she told me I should change my myspace picture. Apparently it was a picture of me and my ex. I said whatever I'll just delete my profile, I never use it anyway. Went onto the site and clicked on my profile picture. There was an old comment beneath it of my ex telling me she loved me and that I looked really handsome in the picture. Next to her name there was her profile picture, which was a picture of her and her bf together. YES! Just what I've been trying to avoid, thinking about all of that crap. This brought me down immensely today. Even the fact that the guy looked like a douche bag, and everyone agrees didn't cheer me up. I try so hard not thinking of them together, now it's like when I close my eyes I see them having sex, and I keep thinking about how happy she is with him, and how I'm nothing to her anymore. I get scared my friends are going to tell her I'm sad (even though I try so hard to seem okay). I also am scared that they're only hanging out with me more now because my ex asked them to. I've been starting to lose respect for my ex. I can't imagine how someone can just replace another person so fast. WHAT A JERK! Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Anon21 > Sorry to hear about your troubles, especially the myspace thing - I deleted my profile on there but still have one for my band that I have to moderate. Even though I deleted my ex off our friends list long ago I still get palpitations going back onto the site, it's ridiculous. I think it's because I still have a sick curiosity to look at her profile, but I know it will bring me nothing but the same misery as you described. I've managed to stay off her page and am proud of myself for doing so. I try so hard not thinking of them together, now it's like when I close my eyes I see them having sex, and I keep thinking about how happy she is with him, and how I'm nothing to her anymore. I do and feel exactly the same, I just can't help it. I wish I could turn my mind off, especially at the weekends but it just gets worse. The thoughts have been less frequent the longer I stay NC, but they still persist at really random times and never fail to bring me down, hard. I feel for you, hang in there Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day one again. Damn. Sucks huh, what happened? (If you're comfortable sharing) Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 day two im feeling GREAT! im finally at the point where he no longer has the power to make me sad =] im going to start making myself happy again! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 23 - It's getting easier to live... the pain is subsiding, however, I miss my ex more than ever and it's hard to keep NC. I wonder what he's doing and if he misses me at all... I don't know what to do after Day 30. I feel like I will break NC to see where he stands, if he's happy away from me, etc... Link to comment
redreine Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I'm so proud of all of you. Just accepting this challenge takes a lot of willpower. I found out trying to take it...what? 3 times? (lol) That I just couldn't do it. That last time I went NC for almost a week! Hahaha. I always say what's meant to be will always find it's way. He and I are just meant to be. The other night, he told me he can't even look at ranch dressing without thinking of me. Obviously you all don't understand because it's an inside thing between he and I, but I'm sure you all understand the sentiment. My point in saying that is, we all have these little things with our ex's that remind us of them. And vice versa. So just remember, if it's meant to be, love will do all the work for you. You don't have to contact them, or facebook stalk them, or anything else. Happy NC everybody! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 redreine - I'm SO happy for you! Deep down, I know me and my ex are meant to be, that's why it's SO tough to let go! Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 So just remember, if it's meant to be, love will do all the work for you. You don't have to contact them, or facebook stalk them, or anything else. Happy NC everybody! i hope me and my are meant to be ..i think we are..but he has to work out his issues first =] Link to comment
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