Ixtapa Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 thats the spirit, its like my dog sh%t theory, every time you start to get nostalgic, just picture treading in the most unctious, repugnant dog sh%t you have ever trod in, and i can guarantee that thinking about them becomes less and less I was just SO VERY ANGRY all of a sudden that I almost broke NC to send him a very nasty message telling him how much of an A-Hole I think he really is. Until now I have not had the "chance" to tell him what I really think about him....my weapon has always been to react to his wrong doings by indifference. Today I suddenly felt the URGE to basically blow up in his face Luckily I didnt send the message and I am feeling rather calm again.... NC is truly the only way to go for now..... Link to comment
and again Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 ive done 30 days of nc, and ive got a really big urge to contact my ex. And more or less say we re cutting our noses off to spite our faces, and that we could get together if we bump into each other. As we have no issues with eachother, and she ran because she couldnt handle a relationship. She sent me a very strong finishing letter to strong, as if she was trying to convince herself also. Heard the other day that she knows she has messed up. But still only wants to be on her own. Which in fairness would suit me, but i would love us to keep up some kind of lc. Because there was a lot there. Bloody ex`s and relationships, u would never think starting off they would leave you so confussed. Link to comment
jahur Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I was just SO VERY ANGRY all of a sudden that I almost broke NC to send him a very nasty message telling him how much of an A-Hole I think he really is. Until now I have not had the "chance" to tell him what I really think about him....my weapon has always been to react to his wrong doings by indifference. Today I suddenly felt the URGE to basically blow up in his face Luckily I didnt send the message and I am feeling rather calm again.... NC is truly the only way to go for now..... this is good, the anger cannot last forever and if your calming down as soon as you inflate then your well on your way to cracking it, just imagine if you did sound off at him, he would probably have an ego the size of a cow, dont give him that! if you want to exact something on him just be successful in your endeavours, that will piss the pants off of him, and guess what? you didnt have to breathe a word! massive pat on your back for your self control. keep that up! Link to comment
jahur Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Feel like crap today, missing her more than ever. Why can't I just let her go? She's never coming back. I feel so angry with myself, I wish the rollercoaster would stop Sorry, just needed to vent. try the dog sh%t its cognitive and it works...... perception,cognitive: The ability to focus mental effort on specific stimuli whilst excluding other stimuli from consideration Link to comment
wiley Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Its about day 10 or 11 I think? Feeling alot better and not thinking about her as much. Even though a work colleague of mine said she came into the place I work with her new BF, I wasn't in that day. After he told me I was a bit upset, but it didn't take me long to cheer up again which was surprising. Been putting new relationships on hold for a bit while I sort ME out! Relationships are nice, but I think sometimes they are made out to be something magical when they are not. I think alot of people are just lonely being single and NEED someone with them to make them feel better and not as lonely. I know thats what I wanted. Link to comment
and again Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Strange day been thinking of breaking nc, and even thinking about it makes things feel raw. Not sure what to say yet, but if do got to make sure i word it right, saying that not sure if she even has same phone number. Wont do any thing this next few days though, work to much up in air, and perhaps that is making me feel a bit messed up. all in all 4 out of 10 Link to comment
ladyjp Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Strange day been thinking of breaking nc, and even thinking about it makes things feel raw. Not sure what to say yet, but if do got to make sure i word it right, saying that not sure if she even has same phone number. Wont do any thing this next few days though, work to much up in air, and perhaps that is making me feel a bit messed up. all in all 4 out of 10 andagain- I am no expert but I say if you are feeling like you really need to reach out and if you have heard thru the vine, she is regretting, then maybe just a short text that says " hope you are doing well". Period. Keep it short and just hoping you are well. NC is not for everyone and not always the solution. Like everything in life everything is and everyone is different in every situation.................box of chocolates Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 this is good, the anger cannot last forever and if your calming down as soon as you inflate then your well on your way to cracking it, just imagine if you did sound off at him, he would probably have an ego the size of a cow, dont give him that! if you want to exact something on him just be successful in your endeavours, that will piss the pants off of him, and guess what? you didnt have to breathe a word! massive pat on your back for your self control. keep that up! Thanks That actually made me laugh.....and you are RIGHT !!! Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Im back to 0 FFS! She text me saying "hope your working hard at college and everythings ok" and I reply saying I wasnt really expecting her to ever talk to me again, then she replies "dont get used to it" Well that was a pointless break of NC. Link to comment
ladyjp Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Im back to 0 FFS! She text me saying "hope your working hard at college and everythings ok" and I reply saying I wasnt really expecting her to ever talk to me again, then she replies "dont get used to it" Well that was a pointless break of NC. I may have text her back and said "DITTO" then went full NC. DO NOT stroke her ego with anymore replys to her texts. She is being very arrogant- in my opionio Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I may have text her back and said "DITTO" then went full NC. DO NOT stroke her ego with anymore replys to her texts. She is being very arrogant- in my opionio Nope. Just gonna leave her alone now. ](*,) Link to comment
ladyjp Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Nope. Just gonna leave her alone now. ](*,) There ya go. I am right there with you on the head against the brick wall- heck I could have built a subdivision with the bricks by now! ha ! Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 There ya go. I am right there with you on the head against the brick wall- heck I could have built a subdivision with the bricks by now! ha ! Lol same. Bloody relationships. More trouble than theyre worth. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Day 7! Being anxious and panicky but I'm not going to contact him! I'm going to be strong and get over this with the help of family/friends! Funny how our Minds "protect" us. My anxiety/panic make me think less of him and more about how in life we need to feel good and safe on our own, and not rely on others. A bit upset that in a very tough moment in my life he's not present and actually probably triggered it! Well NC, I'm never going to let him know how weak I am! I want to get over this on my own! Anyone experienced anxiety/panic after a break-up?? I hope everyone here is well! I know I'll be better soon!! Keep supporting the NC!! Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 yah brazil...i've been feeling extremely anxious lately. most days i'm alright...but others i feel like this is just an impossible road to go down. i still haven't figured out the best way to deal with that. exercise seems to help...rigorous exercise. other than that...i dunno. i think you just have to figure out how to be alone again. we've all been there...just takes a bit of work to rediscover. Link to comment
artemisentreri Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I wanna join...20 days of NC so far for me. We have a class together but generally ignore each other since she is dating someone else and I made NC very very explicit. Last time I tried NC with her she was "back" after 3 days but this time she looks like she's giving the rebound a real shot. We'll see what happens... Link to comment
arghgirl Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 argh. i broke NC today. just wrote him another email apologizing for my last email where i was a bit unkind to him. i have to stop emailing! if you keep breaking NC, does it diminish the chances of getting back together? i have been doing it for a month now! not begging or pleading anymore but just saying that i am leaving the door open but moving on. Link to comment
lady g Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Been in NC for 4 weeks now. He has tried to to contact me twice to 'see how I'm doing' and to tell me of his 'possible' move to another country. The first email I didn't reply to but the second was in response to a question about looking after our cat if he did move country. So think I'm getting stronger as every day goes by and instead of being jealous of the 'new girlfriend' in his life I'm actually starting to feel sorry for what she has in store. He was a mentally abusive person, with drug and alcohol addicttion plus a very manipulative side. I'm starting to feel emotionally in control for the first time in 5 years instead of being fill with self-doubt about my morals and values, because according to him my perspective of the world is completely wrong because I wanted someone to be kind and nice to me and love me for the way I should be loved. I'm not high maintenance in anyway but all I wanted was kindness, support and empathy. NC is so so hard but the rewards you reap will make you so much stronger and you will be able to take control of your life and not let someone else control how you feel. Good luck to you all Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Day 5 for me, second time around. It's a lot easier this time round, managed 3 weeks last time but it was hell. Just been reaching out to old and new friends - trying to organise a day go-karting with a bunch of people. I still think about her all the time, but I'm finding it easier to accept the situation. After nearly bumping into her yesterday and her obviously avoiding me, I'm making sure I leave a little earlier so it doesn't happen again! I'm drinking horlicks in the evening as well to make sure I sleep which helps too. Watched a Chris Rock dvd last night which made me laugh Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Guys, day 8!! I have a question, is contacting the ex's family considered breaking NC? I love my ex in laws, and I want to know if further down the line it's ok to contact them? Link to comment
philove Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Day 5, Struggling like mad not to contact her after she sent me an email last night. I can get through this and prove to myself and to her how strong I am. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Hi brazilgirl21, I've had intermittent contact from her mother and her brother - it's a tough call. On one hand I don't think it's breaking NC, but it depends on whether their family will tell them you've been in touch, and how they react. It can go one of two ways really - either they are curious about what you're up to, or they feel resentful about the intrusion into their family life. It's a tough call. I know my ex has spoken to my mum, and on one hand it gives me hope, on the other I do feel a bit uncomfrotable about it. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Day 2 - 68 days to go (for me) That seems like such a long time! Its already been nearly 3 months and i havent managed more than a week so far. Thinking about her alot, anyone noticed that at times like this you tend to listen to the lyrics of every song you hear and can relate to it in some way or form. The Fray - Never say never, not a good song to be listening to right now! Day to day life is getting harder... I work for her parents so see them all the time and they keep telling me to keep my chin up and that she will come round... which is nice in a way but think it may be giving me false hope. Cant find the motivation to work, go out, cook... do anything really... LIFE SUCKS! Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Im so proud of myself for NOT having sent him the email yesterday. It would have showed him how much I still care.....the complete opposite of what I want him to think !!!! I still think of him and wonder what he is doing though.... Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I'm drinking horlicks in the evening as well to make sure I sleep which helps too. Watched a Chris Rock dvd last night which made me laugh I drink warm milk with sugar in to help me sleep sometimes, and the other day I treated myself to a couple of Richard Pryor DVDs that were in the sales. Good to know that someone else takes a similar approach! It's nice to be able to laugh again, even if it's just on my own. Day 22 today - I feel okay this morning after a terrible day yesterday. Ranting in my journal really helps, sometimes it's disjointed stream-of-consciousness rubbish but it helps get the feelings out. I miss her like mad still, I know I'm not ready to be her friend yet and wonder if I ever will be. That scares me more than anything as I just can't get my head around the fact that someone I was so intimate and connected to can become a stranger to me, it's like we never existed as a couple. I still wonder every day if she thinks about me at all. Link to comment
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