THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[ILikeHockey]

Well, after having that MSN conversation with her last night (that she initiated), I feel worse than ever. All I got was basically "I miss you", but it really seems to me like she only wants to be friends. I can't do that. Why would she break NC, when we both agreed it was best?

[ILikeHockey]

Don't do it Izzy! You'll feel SO much worse if you talk to them. Trust me on that....

[fleck1234]

One month of NC, 6 weeks before that when she called me. It gets easier, I still have setbacks but overall healing very well. Looking forward to having 3 months NC under my belt. I think I will be over the worst by then, at least I hope.

[KaylaJoy]

Haven't been on here for awhile, needed a break I think. It's been 2 weeks today of no contact. I still think about him every day, and miss him every day. I wish he would at least MISS me, but it doesn't look like he does, and I feel bad that our "friendship" was so much less than what I thought it was, or what I made it out to be, let alone our relationship.

 

to Dave R. I hate chick flicks. Mark loves them. The last time we went out, which was in April, we discussed this because we were trying to decide what movie to see. I said I hate them, and he loves them, and his response was "does that make me gay, or you??" RUDE!!

 

Anyway, I told him I hate them because they always remind me of what I don't have. Life just isn't like that very often in my experience. You don't usually get to be with the one you really want, you don't break up and then get back together because you can't stand being apart, guys don't usually go all out to impress you, give their right arm to keep you, etc. It just doesn't happen that way. Least not to me. So it reminds me of what I will never have, short of a miracle.

 

Funny thing is, Mark said he likes them because he thinks they give him an "edge"...something he can use in the future, I guess. Wish he would have tried to keep me with his movie-learnt "edge". Ha!!

[The Mad Pagan]

Yesterday I missed him quite a bit, but not enough to try to contact him or renew my hope or depression. Things in this world happen for a reason.

[joshparker]

DAY 4

today was a little harder. i think its because i just went for a really long drive... wondering if she even still thinks about me in a good way or just hates me.

[suzie q]

not sure if it's because it's the number 13 or what, but i actually woke up feeling really crappy. i really miss him today and i really miss the house. it's so strange--when i think about it--to wake up without him and go to bed without him.

 

i definitely have the urge to call him just talk, i feel like it's been forever--but i won't. when/if he wants to talk to me, he will call.

 

okay! well, i'm going to try to be in better spirits starting now!

[Godwin]

Was tempted to email her asking to meet up, given she told my mum that we need to talk perhaps she just needs some prompting??? I wont email though. She would just get angry or ignore it.

 

I am in two minds about her feelings:

 

Part of believes that she MUST miss me and will be in touch at some point, I cant believe that she has fallen out of love with me.

 

Part of me knows its 100% over and although she still cares about me she doesn't love me. Thats so hard to take.

[Godwin]

Halfway through Day 11. Yesterday was a good day for me because I worked on challenging three fears of mine : I took my first swimming lesson (it went well); I bought my first car (!!!); and I drove my new car all of the way home on 4 different highways, etc. (It's about a 45 minute drive from where I was). I am so proud of myself, but I'm not going to lie - there's a part of me that wishes he was here to be proud of me too.

 

But I'm okay.

 

Well done. I am proud of you for doing that

[Hopelives]

Well... this is hard to explain... I'm not sure who broke up with who... but I am pretty sure neither of us wanted to...

 

He wrote me a week ago saying he'd done some soul searching and because of his wicked schedule he could not give me the time I deserved; that he loved every second he spent with me and missed seeing and talking to me, ended by saying I'd always be in his thoughts and prayers...

 

I let it go. Just said I'd mailed his stuff back to him and that he should receive it during the week. Also, told him the new company I'd formed had gotten it's first contract... sort of a "I'll be okay"...

 

I didn't expect to hear from him again. I started healing... and wallah, TH I receive a thanks for sending him the package, how am I and how's the new contract going? I took it as him looking for an open door to come through...

 

I responded with a message that was short, sweet - but when I reread the message I could see how it could be confusing... so today, I wrote him a longer one...

 

I'm okay with sending the longer, more descriptive email. I've come to believe that I need to be who I am, and if that honest, direct approach doesn't work with a man, then painfully, he will not be the one for me. However, as a doctor, he claims that he likes it when people just tell him the truth... Guess now, it's wait and see..

[cpujunkie]

I am new to this site and you can sign me up. The NC started last Sunday on the 13th.

[rohded]

Starting NC again. She has been giving me a lot of mixed messages lately, telling me that if we got back together it would be on different terms and how she is like one of her friends because she always dates a guy more than once but then saying she wants to be single for awhile and then distancing herself from me. I'll see how this goes this time around.

[maka56]

NC now since April 17th, it's been so hard I dont wish it on anyone. Im not going to contact her, she dumped me so it's up to her if she wants me.

[DavidWRosario]

Day 13 -

 

What a awesome weekend !!!!

 

Absolutely n/c, Peace and serentity. I was mistaken it was 600 acres in the middle of 6000. God's Beauty all over. Rolling West Virginia Hills, I was able to get lost and sit and just think. I saw Deer, Coyotes, Turkeys, it was quite. Well came back checked email and guess who wanted to start argueing again. Give me a break, I just have no desire to even talk with her anymore. She wants to be angry and bitter, I have no desire. I am thru with her. I use to miss her - no more, I use to miss the relationship - no more. If I can spend time with the kids great. If she makes me a villian so be it. I will not be bullied by her any longer.

 

Hey gg and Kaylajoy, hope you guys had a good weekend - Do anything special ?

 

Hey Mp how was the weekend ?

 

Dave

 

I can truly say the only thing I missed this weekend was talking with you guys, You have been very supportive and I appreicate all of you.

[KaylaJoy]

Well, NC has officially been broken. Two weeks. Dang it.

He called tonight, left a voicemail that he had been thinking of me, and he heard the Kenny Chesney song "I'm better as a memory than as your man" and he felt like it fit us, that he felt like he was better as a memory than as my man. He said give him a call. I cried and cried and cried, and then I prayed.

In the end, I texted him that I did want to talk to him and I would call him later. But when I called he didn't answer. So I wrote him a big long email, and pretty much told him all the stuff that had been going on with me, and how I had found peace with God about our relationship, and had accepted it as God's Will, and that I still missed him and hoped we could be friends. I hinted that some things would have to change if we were, like he has to start returning calls and texts if he wants to be my friend again, but that either way it was fine, and I was OK.

He hasn't responded to the texts or the call, although I didn't leave a vm, which means he's either away from his phone, or asleep. I don't think he would have called and left that vm and then dissed me.

So I sent it, I feel OK about sending it, I'm hurting a little, it's never fun to hear the man of your dreams tell you that he's better as a memory than as your man, but God knows all about it. I'm going to bed, I've cried and cried, and I'm exhausted.

 

Don't know how the NC is going to pan out yet until I hear from him, don't know how it will work out. Will just have to wait and see, and pray about it.

[KaylaJoy]

Thought about you Dave, glad you had a good weekend!

[The Mad Pagan]

So he contacted me yesterday. He wrote a long email about how he forgives me and hopes I find happiness in this world, and explained to me (after two months of ignoring me) what went wrong with BOTH of us in the relationship.

 

It broke my heart, but I needed it. I did write him back to tell him everything was going to be okay with me, and that I hoped he found the happiness he deserved as well. And that was it...it's done!

 

I won't say I didn't cry some, and for me that's a big deal because I don't do much crying. I also won't say the whole event didn't set me back a bit, because it did. I refuse to give into depression, though, and I can't hold on to my anger. Our relationship was broken, and it's time to find my peace with it.

 

Whether or not he writes me back now, it doesn't matter. It's NC all the way.

[DavidWRosario]

Kj

 

I am so sorry, I know how you feel. Just when you think you've climbed out of this hole, you get jerked back down in. The emotions take over, you what if yourself to death. You have got to cut him loose and save yourself.

 

I know you had a great relationship and things were going places. But he decided he does not want you anymore. There are other guys out there that do. Life goes on. God has a plan for you. Remember Jer 29:11. There is peace and Hapiness out there for you.

 

This time for me, makes the second time I was discarded. If I really think about it. Its the third. She walked out on me during a major misunderstanding during our 1st year of dating. I remember her being a hot head over something stupid. I was a bit of a Cad in those days, I had been Dear John'd by a girlfriend and screwed a career decision just before getting the letter. 8 months later I was "dating" in six states - gas was cheap in those days.

 

I had decided I wanted a Monday thru Friday relationship in the state I was in. Oops I met my wife, forsaked all others. Had a old letter of a gf I had planned to visit and "hook up". She found it while helping me move. I really thought I had thrown out all that junk. She losted it and stormed out of my room. I should have let her go. The other relationships ended as soon as we got exclusive.

 

Anyway water over the bridge.

 

Help yourself, Paint your nails, get a new hairdo, do all those things that cheer you girls up. Smile at a few guys, make simple conversation.

 

I am no longer a "Hunk". I probably look like somebody's Dad. Which I am. However, If I smile say hello, make small talk. Women- all makes and models say hello back. I am not the Monster - she makes me out to be.

 

I have no idea what God has in store for me. Maybe nobody. As the song goes.

 

" As long as I have King Jesus, I dont need anyone else"

 

You can do this - We have faith in you, we are here.

 

Dave

 

PS I sound like I know what I am talking about or I sound Crazy there is probably only a fine line dividing the two. It is hard to imagine where I was only a few weeks ago. "On my honor" - "this too shall pass".

[DavidWRosario]

MP,

 

Thought of you this weekend, was hanging out with "the guys" and jokes were flying. In my group, I am the uptight "Phobe", totally unaccepting of alternative lifestyles. So please understand when I say, I am reallly happy you are moving on.

 

My world has changed since May 8th, It use to be my way or no way. My view was the only one. No longer, there are people out there that have different views. I accept that. Everyone is not my enemy. I have peace in that as well.

 

The setbacks you talk of were Long dark Valleys you drove thru. As time goes on they are not even potholes, just cracks in the pavement. She sent a email last night argueing about visitation. I felt nothing. Dealt with it told her what I would do and moved on. No emotion, No sadness.

 

I worry sometimes that I am cold and calous now. I think I am just looking out for me.

 

Ranger on

 

Dave

[DavidWRosario]

gg,

 

where are you girl ? I have talked to my other two friends in this, you now would make this the trifecteda (sp). I hope all is well. I am so thankful, Kj, Mp and you are part of my world. We all may be just friends on line, but the support and views from the three of you have helped so much. I smile and laugh now, things I never thought I could do again.

 

1/2 way now and wont give up. Day 15 starts in 17 minutes. I will finish this.

You guys can too. I actually think Mp is up ahead. I hope all is well. I look forward to hearing from you.

 

I am spending the night at Mom and Dads, need to help them with some chores. I think my Dad is making busy work for me. Trying to get my mind off it, is his way showing he cares. I am Ok.

 

Thinking about you guys,

 

Dave

[Johnathan]

I'm still horribly depressed sometimes when I think about her, and just like always, I can't seem to get her out of my head to save my life. Its so sad it has to be like this now. I'm actually not dwelling on her and I feel fine the majority of the time, but I still have these mood swings and bouts of depression. I miss her so much.

[maka56]

I'm still horribly depressed sometimes when I think about her, and just like always, I can't seem to get her out of my head to save my life. Its so sad it has to be like this now. I'm actually not dwelling on her and I feel fine the majority of the time, but I still have these mood swings and bouts of depression. I miss her so much.

 

Sucks doesn't it?, I had a nice walk today by the lakes in the sun and tried to get her off my mind and enjoy myself and put on a smile yet it's still there. She really hurt me yet I still miss her

[DavidWRosario]

Day 1-

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

Just got off the phone with her. Argueing about visitation. It was slow motion. The emotions were flying and yelling, it was old times. She is so unreasonable it is pathetic. She does know how to push buttons. Then I said it. "Answer me one question - You said you never loved me, it was all a lie." She broke down in tears, told me she loved me more than words could ever say. That we just weren't right and could not get past all the hurt. - Damn, the tears found me again.

 

So here I am back in the life boat with all my friends, Mp is looking at me funny and kalylajoy is on my side of the seat. I had cleared the hurdle was headed for the finish line, only 14 days left. Now I just want to die all over again. For a minute there, I had closure. She never loved me and only used me. Now its she loved me she just cant deal with me any longer.

 

So DAY 1 - Lonely, lost and confused sounds like a tag line for a good book.

 

Mathew 26:39 O My father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou will

 

Carry me again o lord, I have fallen yet again.

[Fernsie]

I should have signed up for this at start....lol

But just to let you guys know.....no contact since 20th April......yes thats right 3 months.

I did send her 1 text a couple of weeks ago just to say hi and to ask how she was keeping....got no reply....so she can take a run and jump.....lol

 

 

Fernsie.

[ghostgirl116]

hey dave! i needed a couple of days away from ena... i love this site, and it helps me a lot, but sometimes when i'm on here a lot, i focus too much on what makes me sad. so i thought i'd step away for the weekend.

 

yesterday was the ex's b-day. a big one... 40. i was a good girl, and didn't send a text, call or email saying happy birthday. i doubt it would have meant anything.

 

i hope you are well!

 

gg