feelinblu Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I emailed him. I began feeling I needed to do this about a week or so ago, so I gave it a lot of thought to decide if it was something I really felt I needed to do, and I do. I sent it about 30 minutes ago, and I don't feel much different than I did when I woke up this morning. I'll keep posting in here as to how I feel, as I know my feelings may change drastically over the next few days. And for those of you wondering, my email was mostly just a how are you type of thing, and letting him know what's new with me, since the last time I saw him, he seemed very interested, but I remained very distant to him that day, as I was still angry. Link to comment
knightingale Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 A friend decided I should go to a party he was at last night, just to see how I would feel. It was a party he was having for his brother's 21st, but it was being held at someone else's house. We got there and I started feeling nervous, but I saw a group of people I knew and started talking to them. They said they really hadn't seen him that much that night, which was disconcerting. Why hadn't they seen him? Where had he wondered off to? I just convinced myself he was mingling about, not to assume the worst--that he'd gotten drunk enough to rebound off some random girl. He promised me he wouldn't do anything like that. I saw him talking to a girl, I don't think it was anymore than talking, but my mind was over-thinking and trying to convince me it was more. She's a friend he reconnected with recently, the timing being the week we broke up. She's not his type, but they seemed chummy and were laughing and at one point she leaned in and they hugged briefly. It made me sick to my stomach to witness all of it. Eventually he wondered off and mingled with more people. I know he saw me. I saw him so he had to have seen me. But we didn't say one word to one another and he left a little while later. I realized then and there that I wasn't even close to ready to try and be friends. And all of his friends were just solidifying that he was being a selfish jerk and that ever since they met me they thought I was too good for him. Why are they telling me this? Why aren't they telling him? He knows, though. When we were breaking up, he admitted that he was being a selfish jerk. I just wish he cared more. I briefly told someone, a hopeless romantic, the situation. That he still loved me, but he needed some time to find himself. And he said that that wasn't love. It felt like a punch to the stomach. I just hate him and love him ay the same time now. It's so confusing and I hate these feelings. My stomach has been feeling all nervous all day . . . Link to comment
Abbie Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Day 44 ... ... how come it's getting worse? Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Hope it gets better for you somehow! You sound like you have a lot of love and it just may turn things around someday. Keep praying and believing, remember it took Abraham 25 years of believing before he got the promised son...just know and believe he hears you when you pray! Link to comment
sine Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 i'm still having some weak moments from day to day (waking up in the morning is totally screwing with me TBH), but just keep reminding yourself that you're more important than anyone else out there-right now. you have needs-that is-you need to be there for yourself. as much as you love that other person, this is the time to take care of YOU, most importantly. without 'you', there's no 'them'. this is my mantra, and this helped get me out of my rut today. stay positive!!!! Link to comment
knightingale Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Contact broken. Again. I think I'm just going to stick with LC for now . . . Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Day 2. Nothing new, just wish things were different. Link to comment
bramage Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Day 10.. no sweat. If you look at my previous posts, I didnt think I could do it. But I decided any contact would just make sh&t worse, so I said scr^w it. Im feeling good. I miss her, but I'm slowly getting better inside. I am going to make some major changes in my own life, and if she comes back or not is not a concern at this point. Although I deleted my original thread, Ive gone NC with this one before, and we always end up hooking up once a year. We never found our balance, so we probably never will Oh well.. There does seem to be quite a few single women running around. I'll just have to meet one thats a little more on the same page as I am. Im good with that!@ Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Day 10.. no sweat. If you look at my previous posts, I didnt think I could do it. But I decided any contact would just make sh&t worse, so I said scr^w it. Im feeling good. I miss her, but I'm slowly getting better inside. I am going to make some major changes in my own life, and if she comes back or not is not a concern at this point. Although I deleted my original thread, Ive gone NC with this one before, and we always end up hooking up once a year. We never found our balance, so we probably never will Oh well.. There does seem to be quite a few single women running around. I'll just have to meet one thats a little more on the same page as I am. Im good with that!@ Right on brother! That's how I'm starting to feel. If she comes back, cool. If not, I've already started dating a few women. Stay the course my friend. California has no lack of sexy single women! Link to comment
alphabetsoup13 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 For me, not contacting her is the easy part. I don't have any urges to reach out to her, but i do have tons of trouble getting rid of all the great memories... Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 For me, not contacting her is the easy part. I don't have any urges to reach out to her, but i do have tons of trouble getting rid of all the great memories... Boy, I understand this one. I'm not calling, because if he doesn't love me, it's pointless. If he doesn't want to see me, it's pointless. If he doesn't want to spend time with me enough to make that initiative on his own, no matter how desperately I want to see him, it's pointless if I have to make the call. Yeah, if I called and asked him to come over, he probably would. When he had the spare time. In a week or two. I'm done with that scenario. I used to feel so desperate to see him, that I would call him and ask him to come over, knowing full well it was for me....I needed that fix. I'm done with that. If he can't decide on his own that he wants to see me, then I'm back to traveling down a one way street again, and I don't want to do that. I love him too much. And the memories?? Yeah, I got 'em. Some good, some bad. Can't dwell on them too long, because then I get this sense of panic over wanting to be with him again. Day 3 of many many to come. Link to comment
...John... Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 It was going to be day 2... but i slipped, I texted her, asked her if she would go to lunch with me... my treat... but nothing no response... i can't stop thinking about her... even after she has done some horrible things to me after the break up, and i mean horrible, i can't stop loving her... this is so hard... Link to comment
rohded Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Oh boy, she cried and said she missed me a couple days ago right? Well I think I jumped back into contacting her a little to fast after she said that. Things have gone right back to how they where. I'm going to do a quick 10 day NC challenge for myself this time around because in 10 days there is a fun party that we both are going to be attending. Just enough time to make her start wondering "Where did he go?" and then for me to be the life of the party chat her up, but don't waste to much of my night talking to her. Then go home and see how long it takes her to contact me! I think I'm going to go for a run now. Good luck fellow NCers! Link to comment
5364 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Day 9 Feels good. Never thought I'd go a few days without trying to talk to her, but I actually don't want to anymore! She unblocked me from AIM, but has yet to message me and I don't intend on talking to her soon. I started a new job - custodial work - and its a fun job, and is a good workout so I've been feeling good lately. The prescription to Zoloft is working great. Only problem is I'm having trouble sleeping, but its a side effect, so I'm hoping it will go away soon. Link to comment
sine Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 day 12 of the challenge for me. no call, no texting, no email-nothing. i'm not in a position where i can do that, and honestly i'm not sure if she's worth the trouble. i guess the thing i'm trying to work on now is being a better communicator in my points, standing up for myself, being brave in the face of adversity, speaking what i feel needs to be said. Link to comment
NoContactItIs Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Spent the weekend with my best friend which helped quite a bit. Feeling pretty strong. Had a mildly rocky weekend when talking/thinking about it. I think this will help a lot. I'm determined to shake this feeling. Should be interesting. Good luck to all Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 DAY 8 Well..........I guess I'll rejoin this for the 3rd or so time. She's away in Spain until the 23rd. So, I guess I'll only be able to complete 23 days of this until she picks her dog up when she gets back. I'll be well on my way to a complete recovery by that time. Good luck everybody! Link to comment
BrokenDuc Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 4 weeks! she sent me a check up how are you email yesterday but i just ignored it and didnt reply not gonna give up 4 weeks over nothing. Link to comment
darkplace Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 5 weeks of NC. I keep seeing the occasional update on facebook, he is now friends with such and such and there where a few photos he was tagged in at some crap party. He was online the same time as me for a few mins a few days ago. I held myself in and didnt contact. I keep trying to think 'he's an *** he's an ***'. Before me he was just bedding anyone for a week, along comes me the only long term relationship hes ever had. Then PUUF! its over. When he hits 30 in 2 yrs time thats going to shock him. My mission in life now is to snag as many cute guys a possbile and give them a time to remember lol And this capoeira thing is helping me meet lots of them! Link to comment
The Mad Pagan Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 This is actually day 8, but for the sake of the challenge I'm starting here. Ready, set, go! Today I was thinking about the ex a lot, but not in a way that caused me lasting pain. It's more of a distant longing. Every day I am stronger. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Not "spoken" to my ex since Sunday night. So I'm on day 2. Hardly a big deal but I really am trying to move on. It's difficult because even now she's said that she's happy for me to still speak to her and says that I am not getting in the way. I keep thinking that maybe I shouldn't disappear completely because I've said to her many times that I should leave her alone but she always says no. She wants me still to be there. Probably as a back up or just for attention mind you. She still seems very much hurt about the break up and very angry with me about my contribution to the end of our relationship. She gets angry whenever I tell her I'm hurt. It's as if she thinks I'm being selfish. People have said that her being angry is a "good" thing because it shows that there are still emotions attached. Maybe so. I don't want her to think of me and be angry. The only thing I can do now is move on and show her that I respect her decision finally. I want to be happy with myself and I think I can't be happy with all this going on. I know NC is the only option but it is so hard when I still love her and miss her so much. But there's no real signs from my ex that she has any desire to get back with me. I just wish I knew why she still wants me around but only at an arm's length. What is the point? I do think I've made things so distorted and awkward that NC is the best thing I can do to try and change her opinion of me at least. Right now, I am a pathetic ex that doesn't trust her. I don't want to be remembered for that. Maybe after a while she'll realise that I've only been the way I've been because I'm hurting and I miss her. I don't know how serious things are with the new guy. She's still not confirmed or denied it. I keep thinking if it was that serious she'd have no problem telling me the truth or losing me. But seeing as she's kept me around, maybe it's not serious. I don't know. There's nothing I can say or do to change her mind so it's pointless thinking about it. Link to comment
LilBear Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 How's everyone doing? I've been at NC so long I've lost count of the days. And am actually not counting the days It gets better over time, trust me. Don't give up and don't give in! Link to comment
DavidWRosario Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Day 2 - What a day after such a high with David getting Baptised, yesterday I beat myself up all day about What ifs. I can not see going back, but that makes me no better than her. If I go back, its the same dance. Too many questions, God you drive, I be here in the back seat, I can even sit up front. Please let Day 3 be busy. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 How's everyone doing? I've been at NC so long I've lost count of the days. And am actually not counting the days It gets better over time, trust me. Don't give up and don't give in! I'm glad you're at a stage now where you're not counting the days! Hopefully I will get there one day without going back ten steps as I have been doing. It's nice to know that it does get better in time. It gives me enough strength to stick to NC. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 DAY 18 ........I pray for her everynight hoping she will find herself... At the moment...I am married to my music. Link to comment
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