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feelinblu

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  1. feelinblu
    I emailed him. I began feeling I needed to do this about a week or so ago, so I gave it a lot of thought to decide if it was something I really felt I needed to do, and I do. I sent it about 30 minutes ago, and I don't feel much different than I did when I woke up this morning. I'll keep posting in here as to how I feel, as I know my feelings may change drastically over the next few days. And for those of you wondering, my email was mostly just a how are you type of thing, and letting him know what's new with me, since the last time I saw him, he seemed very interested, but I remained very distant to him that day, as I was still angry.
  2. feelinblu
    I'm not doing well today (again) yesterday morning I woke up feeling pretty good, but it started to go downhill last night. I thought getting some good sleep would help, but I had a dream about him. A very vivid one. I really want to talk to him.
  3. feelinblu
    No kidding!
  4. feelinblu
    I actually have to look at my previous post to know what day it is. I think that's a good thing. Well, it seems my couple days of being on the verge of an emotional breakdown have passed...... thank you Jesus! This day has always been my favorite holiday, and I'm bummed I don't get to spend it with him. Fireworks are so romantic........ aww Well, what can you do, right? I'm gonna stay busy today.
  5. feelinblu
    Wow! That's pretty mean whether she was be honest or not. With how she asked you what you were gonna do about it, she may have feeling a little frisky, and thought telling you that would make you think she was a challenge so you would get naughty with her and prove her wrong. I don't know though, she could have been doing it to try and mak feel bad too, and then realized how wrong it is to say something like that, so she assured you she was kidding. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If she was always faking it, it makes her look dumb that she would even do that (especially admit it!) And if she didn't fake them, then that's just downright mean!
  6. feelinblu
    I'm a complete mess. I had the most horrible night last night. Up until last night I had only cried once (Since May 23rd when we split). I bawled my eyes out last night while driving home from work, and almost ran my car off the road while doing it (not on purpose). I feel like I've been run over by a truck. This is horrible, and I just wish I understood why this all happened. I feel like I could accept the outcome of all of this if I just had an understanding as to why.
  7. feelinblu
    I'm on the verge of sending an email too. I'm gonna try not to do it though. I don't think you should either. At least wait and see how he is at the picnic. Maybe once you see him, you won't feel the need to email anymore.
  8. feelinblu
    I can't wait to start feeling better. I was doing so well until I got sick. Now I'm laying around a lot more which is good for me physically, but not so good for me emotionally. I've been praying a lot lately, and this last weekend this really strong feeling came over me that I should call him. Well, I resisted that urge, but it was a really strange feeling. I felt like God was trying to tell me to do that. I don't know why He would though. I wonder if I should have acted on it, and that's part of the reason I'm feeling the way I am right now too. I'm still sticking to NC, but if that strange feeling comes over me again, I might act on it.
  9. feelinblu
    We were supposed to go to a concert together this evening..... I guess that won't be happening now, will it?!? It's a hard day just because of that, and also because I know he will be in my part of town for the concert (he lives about 75 miles away). No, I will not "accidentally" bump into him! Besides, I look like hell right now cause I'm a little under the weather It's none of my business anymore, but I wonder who he's taking with him to the concert now. Whomever it is, I hope he thinks he'd have more fun with me! Haha.
  10. feelinblu
    This is a fabulous idea. I think I will do the same! I'll have a book of them by the time I'm done
  11. feelinblu
    Day 30 will you please hurry up and get here?!?! It wouldn't change anything if it were here already, but I'm still antsy for it. I've been doing so well with all of this, but I feel like I've taken a step back today. I want to call him. But I won't I can't say anything stupid if I say nothing at all, right?!
  12. feelinblu
    Wonderful words, and so so true.
  13. feelinblu
    Thanks And btw, I read your thread with the email in it that he sent you, and as you would probably guess, I agree with everyone- not even worth replying! He's being childish.
  14. feelinblu
    I'm missing him pretty badly today, but I think it's cause I'm sick and I've been laying around most of the day trying to get better for the work week. Everytime I fall asleep I dream of him Still this gets easier every day. NC is working for me. It is giving me that time I need to heal.
  15. feelinblu
    I had a fairly long talk with my mom today about him, and I could talk about it at ease without getting upset, or having it affect me in such a way that I couldn't get him off my mind at all the rest of day. It felt good to talk about it, but even better that I didn't get all choked up when I did. I would still love to hear from him sometime down the line, but not right now. I miss him, but I also like this time I'm having getting myself together. It feels nice to feel like myself again. Maybe sometime in the future we will cross paths again, and things will work out. He really is a good man. I do think we both have some growing up to do though.
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