greywolf Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 It's been over 6 weeks with no contact.I just want to know if she wants to stay friends which we made a promise we would no matter what. Need closure before I move on. From experience, those promises don't mean anything. That's why when the ex says they want to be friends it's just a way not to lose you completely until they get over you, or to ease their guilt. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Day 24 - A week to go. Maybe...who knows...I'm of very mixed feelings today. I'm tired today and when I get tired, I get depressed, and I was depressed earlier tonight. Just thinking about what a loser her new bf is, and how bad things got with me so that he looked like a good alternative. I'll feel better after a good night's sleep. Ate way too much food tonight, which means extra time at the gym tomorrow. Actually, tomorrow will be busy. Getting together with friends in the AM, going to work for a few hours after that, I'll hit the gym for a couple of hours, then a belated birthday celebration with nickbroken. I was really down earlier, decided not to go the alcohol route, instead watched some really dumb stuff on the DVR that has seriously cheered me up. I'll be fine. But damn, I really miss her. I'm so totally of two minds of what to do after the 30 days. If she wasn't seeing slimeball, it would be easy. With him there, I'll probably stay in NC more. Or, since she keeps feeling the need to contact me, I'll switch to LC by at least acknowledging some of her communication. I keep thinking "If things are so wonderful with him, why does she contact me every other day?" And I know the answer. But, that was her choice, and she has to deal with the consequences. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 OK, Dave...I'm up for the challenge. I have my ex and his new girlfriend's MySpace pages saved as favorites, and it kills me everytime I check it, to see what their latest little love note will be, and yet I can't seem to stay away. He is still texting me occasionally, even though I've asked him not to. (He's texted me the last two nights). Nothing romantically, just everyday stuff that doesn't make sense why he's doing it. I'm deleting them and not answering them. No emails though, or IM's, or calls, thank goodness. So I will accept this challenge because I need to for my sanity's sake! I need to stay far away from him and his new love life...I broke up with him for multiple reasons, one being he's been married 3 times already, but he swore to me that he loved me in spite of that, and then within a few weeks was dating the woman he swore he wouldn't date if she was the last woman on earth. And just two months later they are getting married supposedly. And it's a hard pill to swallow. So I need closure. I just delete the texts, but I need a challenge to stay away from his MySpace page. I don't understand why he is texting me if he's so in love with her, and they are planning a wedding? Is it to rub it in my face?? I don't get it. So the challenge starts today, May 3, 2008. Day 1!! Link to comment
Mustang Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Day 2 Hungover. I went out last night and met three (yes three) girls. Does that make me a player? It's amazing what happens when you are not looking for things. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Day 2 Hungover. I went out last night and met three (yes three) girls. Does that make me a player? It's amazing what happens when you are not looking for things. I went out last night too, got so drunk, I cant remember half of the night. Dont feel too badly hungover though, getting used to it now lol Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Day 6. So lonely. Miss his cuddles. Link to comment
Mustang Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I went out last night too, got so drunk, I cant remember half of the night. Dont feel too badly hungover though, getting used to it now lol Likewise! But I'm at uni so I'm used to it. If my liver could type and had emotions I'm sure it'd be posting on ENA talking about how hurt it is on a regular basis. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Likewise! But I'm at uni so I'm used to it. If my liver could type and had emotions I'm sure it'd be posting on ENA talking about how hurt it is on a regular basis. haha sometimes I feel my liver will just fall out one day lol Link to comment
musashi Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Day 45 Yesterday sucked balls. I had a monster hangover and, what usually happens after a night of partying, I got all emotional and sad. Today, however, I feel great. Hanging out with my son and have not thought about the ex at all really. The emotional rollercoaster is quite annoying but it does seem to be settling down a bit. I am having more good days now than before. Soon it will be all good days. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Day 6. So lonely. Miss his cuddles. me too soooooooo horrible Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I miss the cuddles too! Shoefairy is back on the wagon???? Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I believe I am for the time being Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Today I broke my NC by mistake. My ex has the same name as my sister and I didn’t checked when I called her from my cell. I ended up calling my ex. The conversation was like in 20 seconds or something like that. Me: Hey Maya its Maya (with a happy but serious tone, but also little surprised) Me: Hey, what’s up…No, Oh my God, sorry I miss called. Goodby Click, I hung up the phone ](*,) Now, I must go NC for 1 month more I relized..she has still that voice that I hate... Link to comment
DieTeufelKatze Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I broke NC last night. ](*,) I TOLD you I'm BAD about DDing!! LOL!! Especially with this guy. It was around 1:45 last night, and I was all super buzzed so I decided to drive home the back way, which also happens to go near his house. Well, being the psycho that I am, I decided to do my first drive by. LOL. Notice the light in his bedroom is on. It was like I couldn't resist... I lit up a cigarette, got back onto the street that leads to my house, start driving home... text a "U awake?" (Now what in the hell am I supposed to do with that... I swear, I don't think sometimes). I get an IMMEDIATE text back a few seconds later "yeah". So he calls just as I'm pulling on to my street. We talked for about an hour and a half. He'd been out too and had just gotten home a while earlier. He spent half the phone conversation trying to talk me into coming over to his place. I interrogated him for a little while, still looking for reasons/answers when it came to the breakup. There's definitely nobody else, despite what one of my friends surmised (he was like... dudes act like that when they're interested in someone else). I didn't have too tough a time saying "no" to going over there. Told him it was too soon to be doing that. We are INSANELY sexually attracted to each other and I think I probably miss that about him the most. We had such good sex, I think we are both addicted. This was probably the most passionate relationship I've ever been in, in my life. I had a crush on this guy for over a year before we finally just slept with each other one drunken night. That one time turned into steady 6 months, until 2 weeks ago. lol. He was explaining what he wants right now... someone who can come over to his place, hang out, make dinner, watch a movie, have sex. That's basically what we'd been doing the last several months, but with less frequency the last month because he'd been "busy". I had assumed that "busy" was just an excuse for "I'm loosing interest and I really don't care about you". Now I'm starting to second guess that assumption. So basically, he wants more a FWB situation than bf/gf (he didn't think that was a good way to define it, but that's how I interpreted it), but would agree to be exclusive. He doesn't want the responsibility of a full-time relationship. It's somewhat understandable as he has a 3 year old daughter, runs a business, and is now laying down plans to build a house (has already put in an offer on a lot). Says he never wants to get married. He's been honest with me, however, and I think I'm starting to trust him more than I did in the past. I'm lost. I'm starting to fall for this guy, I am miserable without the sex and the part-time companionship. I want to be with him, even if it's just cozy evenings 2 nights out of the week. I'll probably break up with him again for the same reasons eventually, but I don't feel like I got enough time with him. I want to go back to him SO BADLY!!! And I CAN, I just don't think it's the healthiest thing for me. I was digging my nails into my thigh last night when I was lying there on my bed talking to him. That's how badly I miss/want him. So it's either settle for a part-time FWB-type relationship that obviously doesn't have much of a future at this point, or going NC again. Told him I have to think about it. I'm almost tempted to give in because of how passionate it has been between us... I feel like... the hell with it, throw caution to the wind, have my heart broken, I don't care, I WANT this... But am I fool? Link to comment
theredrocket Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 day 11 34 to go! I feel great today. I feel very confident and happy with myself. I feel attractive and capable of getting what I want! day 12 33 more to go the weekends are always harder and I miss her today. I got a lot of compliments last night about how much muscle I've added in the last 6 weeks which was nice. I think about what it would be like if I contacted her in a month and how if she is dating someone that will make me sad. We'll see how things are then but I'm having doubts now Link to comment
Artop Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Redrocket, Hey, look at it this way, in 33 days you may had added so much muscle and look so good, you may not want your ex back! Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Back to day 1. I just sent a message to say "hi". he replied as usual. But I quickly "vanished" as to not appear waiting on him... Link to comment
cr44hill Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Jadewhisperer - Congratulations on 4 months! How are you feeling? I know you still miss him but are you moving on at the same time? Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 OK, I'm at the end of day 1 of my no contact with my most recent ex boyfriend (but not the love of my life ex boyfriend - I may end up doing NC with him too before it's over with)...I made it thru the day w/o looking at his MySpace page once! Woohoo! No texts from him either, so that's a good thing...I just hope he doesn't text me and inform me that he and the new gal has up and got hitched, like they are planning. I'd like to think surely he wouldn't be that mean to rub it in my face, but yeah...he would, out of ignorance more than meanness, perhaps, but yeah he would. So I hope he just leaves me alone and stops texting me period. It's hard to think that we were as close as we were last year, and just a few months later, I can't even talk to him...I thought we would always be friends, but I didn't expect him to go down the road he went after we broke up. I just can't be his buddy, and I told him that. Now if he will only leave me alone and let me move on. Last year was a farce and a fraud as far as I'm concerned...it was fun while it was, but makes me sick to think it wasn't even real. 29 days and counting...but then what?? Link to comment
Sickboy48 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 5 months and all is good. I am planning on writing my ex to clear upsome things and explain myself to her. I don't expect her to respnd and i rather she wouldn't. I just need to get some things off my chest and close the door for good. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Day 25 - The 30 days are almost up. Although, as I keep saying, I'm not sure what I'm going to do when they are up. Today was busy, I was out playing boardgames with some friends most of the morning and afternoon, I really didn't think about her much during them, although we talked about her a bit afterwards. One of the guys laughed when I said she already said the weather was "interesting." His reaction was "And the heat and humidity haven't even gotten there yet." Yeah well, its what she said she wanted, so whatever. I agreed to give her one of our cats (my cats?) and the service coming to pick her up is coming tomorrow. I thought they were coming Monday, so its one day shorter with her. I guess the end was coming anyway, so I guess I say goodbye one day sooner and then life will go on. I love this cat, its the one that slept with us on the bed almost from the day we got her almost 9 years ago. I know she my ex's favorite cat, too. I'll really miss her, and I know my ex misses her a lot, and I love my ex more than I love the cat, so I have no regrets about this, even though is still very sad. Some have said it will remind her of "home" more. I don't know. I hope so. I feel like sending a note with the cat saying "The other cats and the dog miss you and want us both to come back home", however at this point I think that would be a good move. I want to make a live journal post regarding her leaving, and I don't know if I could do it without saying "Now, 2 of the three females I love most are in Texas", and I don't think now is the time to say it. In fact, I don't see how I can make any post that wouldn't really end up with me really expressing feelings towards my ex, and I don't want to do that yet. Nonchalance is my ally, or so I've heard. I think my ex will know that it shows a lot of character to do this and that it is an act of unconditional love. I'm leaving in a minute to have a belated birthday celebration with nickbroken, that will hopefully be fun, and get my mind off things. I did hit the gym earlier tonight, that makes 3 times this week, the first time I've made 3 times in a week in several months. Its nice to be getting back into this routine. The endorphin rush is always good. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I think this is day 5. Today went well, I hung out with friends and I didn't miss her so much. Nights are always the worst. I had a huge urge to email her moments ago, I was thinking a quick, hi hope you're doing well, might be a good idea. But I've told myself I can email her tomorrow. And tomorrow I'll tell myself that I can email her tomorrow.... One day at a time, right? Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Day 7. A realisation. The question I have been asking myself, and him repeatedly: Why does he hate me and choose to cut me out of his life? Answer: Because of how I dealt with the break up I cannot change anything that has happened or his behaviour towards me now, but I CAN learn from this that I am a person who would never treat another in this way. That makes me very different to him. Link to comment
Annonomous Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Day 3 Managing well, however i started the NC thing myself 3 weeks ago before i read this post and my ex (who says she doesn't know what she wants), got very upset and moody when she contacted me saying i had "blocked her out of my life" and that she would never do that to me. We met up, got on well and still she wasn't sure what she wanted, argued over it and now im back on the NC thing, this time with the support of this wall as clearly if i go back to meeting her the same will happen all over again........ Kept myself very busy, bit of a problem at the moment due to exams (university) coming up in a few days time..... dont want to let the keeping myself busy get in the way of doing revision (which it is atm) Link to comment
uk_incoming Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 My ex dumped me a month ago due to her derpession and the way she handles it. It caused her to "not feel the same way" about me and that spark just vanished. We were going out for a year. Today is DAY 2 of my NC. The last contact was her coming over at my request so I could put us on the same page when it came to the breakup and what the future holds. I'm confident she will miss me - very confident. I've known this girl 8 years and she longed for me all that time. She is experiencing the "freedom rush" of the breakup, it won't last forever. Why am I confident? I have to be - I am making myself more confident every day, so if she doesn't come back, it won't really be the end of the world for me. Infact, i'll probably sweep some other cute chick off her feet by then - and if I do, it's my ex's loss because SHE WILL regret it! I'm not hoping she'll miss me - I know she will (ok, bring on the ridicule) Link to comment
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