THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[EyesOnThePrize]

This nearly made me cry

 

I'll have to try harder.

[mankow]

21 day is pretty ok

And I am planning to die

 

beause I can not stand being near my exgf

She is so selfish!!!!

Hell seeing her at work

I just want to die

HaRDER THan before

[mankow]

Heaven help me

I am not working tomorrow

[bronte]

Day #24...I got kind of emotional at the grocery store of all places, standing in front of the frozen pizzas and remembering being there with him. I genuinely felt sad but I also almost had to laugh because it was such a strange thing to get melancholy over!!!

 

Just goes to show that even when healing is going pretty well you're still going to have little unexpected moments that trip you up now and again...

[justagrl]

Early, day 13...it's12:22...so it's oficially day 13. Went out for drinks with girlfriends...we are all in such terrible messes. I am broken up, the other is living with a man that she wants to leave, the other haS asked her husband to move out for awhile...no one I know seems to be happy...can we every be?

 

I have had a few drinks...wants to call, text, wehatever...STOP ME.

[whes]

Day.. I'm not going to count. I have to see you at karate, but I only speak to you in reply if you ask me a question. It's not easy to see you and to not wait or look for you afterwards, when we used to wait and talk and walk together.

 

I am proud to say that I haven't waited for you or 'accidentally' run into you on the way out or stalled for time just so that I could talk to you for a couple minutes, even though every time I do my heart still flutters a bit.

 

It's getting easier because I've realized a few things. I've realized that I deserve better than you. I deserve someone who can see more than just my looks or my body, who can see the strength and beauty and diversity that is my soul, and someone who will actively appreciate all of it and not just wait for it to come to them. I will not feed your ego. It is strong enough on its own without my help or my devotion.

 

Do you know the song by Nat King Cole, 'There Goes My Heart'? Well, you'll be singing it when you realize that I've moved on and that I won't be baited any longer by your cute dorkiness, your intelligence, your dedication, your caring nature, your companionship or your beauty. I'll feel the tug, undoubtedly, but I won't be responding to it. And the strength of that tug'll grow less and less and less.

 

I hate letting go because it means giving up, and that's what my parents did and in particular my mother when they got divorced. She/they just gave up. I don't ever want to just give up without a fight, so I hold on for far to long to things that I know in my heart to be not so good. I want what my grandparents have: 55+ years of marriage, still in love. I have a picture of them taking their daily nap: they are lying on their sides, my grandfather curled into my grandmother's back, his arm draped over her side, their hands linked. Every day.

 

You are not doing it for me. You are not doing anything for me. You never call, you never email, you never make the effort to do anything, and I am worth it. I am worth every second of your day and I am sorry you failed to realize what you could have had in me. Maybe you don't know it yet, but your heart is gone.

[LilBear]

I'm on day 82 today.

NC gets easier.

But there is never a day which passes by that I do not think of him.

Even after all he's said and done to me.

 

Just can't help wondering if he thinks of me too.

[mankow]

I wrote huge message on my phonre

Hope anything now can not go by and then turned it off

When I wake up tomorrow I will call her definettely or n0othing

 

I can't be in Nc becausae I will go nuts

better to be cursed than crazy!!

[justagrl]

I'm SO proud of myself....wanted to drunk dial last night...and didn't...went to bed instead. And this morning I am so happy about that!

[littlej]

Can i just get over this girl already? I know she is not right for me but the feelings are still there. I am not picking up the phone when/ if she calls. The girl of my dreams would not treat me like she did. When she realizes that things wont work with her ex then what? Me again, i dont think so. How can people do some of the things they do and hold their head up high? I would feel horrible.

[EyesOnThePrize]

littlej - I suspect she's not holding her head up very high. I think a lot of dumpers who quickly run to another person have serious self-worth issues and define themselves by their relationships with other people. I suspect she is in her own private hell much of the time.

 

When you say "I know she is not right for me but the feelings are not there", I wonder if she was willing to seriously address the issues that caused her to run from you if she might be more "right" for you. That's not a question I can answer, just something I'm throwing out there.

[starlette08]

day 13

 

this is great - i think im about 90% healed. I no longer get sad when i think of him. each day it gets easier and easier and i think of him less. i cant wait til i can get thru the whole day without thoughts of him at all.

 

i no longer care about what he's doing, who he's with. and chances are, if he wants to be friends with me, im not so sure i even want to be friends with him. he treated the breakup badly, totally disrespecting me and friends dont do that to friends.

 

anyways, going to spoil myself today with a massage and pedicure!

[Litgirl01]

One month tomorrow my friends! And I can't say that it's not tempting to shoot him a little email. But you know...he doesn't deserve to hear from me. He really destroyed our relationship, as CPs often do!

 

I'M PROUD OF YOU GUYS!!! xx

[pumpkinmoon]

One month tomorrow my friends! And I can't say that it's not tempting to shoot him a little email. But you know...he doesn't deserve to hear from me. He really destroyed our relationship, as CPs often do!

 

I'M PROUD OF YOU GUYS!!! xx

 

CPs? Whats what?

[pumpkinmoon]

Day 21. Not feeling too bad today but had a couple of weak moments. Im just so bugged by the fact that Im not sure I want him back, It's probably 50/50 but I'm still thinking of what I can do to get him back!!! AGRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[bronte]

Day #25...Having a rough day, honestly. My Facebook feed decided to tell me this morning that he's changed his relationship status from "It's complicated" to "in a relationship." The "it's complicated" was just a joke between him and the new gf, so it's not like this is news...I knew he had someone else.

 

Maybe the change this morning just re-triggered the memories of the fight we had when he first changed his relationship status and of the pain of discovering that his flirtatious remarks and seeming interest in potentially getting back together hadn't meant anything. Or maybe it's that they must be getting more serious if they no longer want their status to be joke-y. Or maybe it's the timing, since we're supposed to start trying to be friends again in "mid-April." And he just happens to decide on April 12th that he'd better make his relationship status clearer?

 

Or maybe it's that I know he probably didn't think about me at all when he changed it. And it frustrates me that I still care this much about someone who probably never thinks about me... *sigh*

[Brokenhearted87]

Well....I'm back to this thread haha! Last contact was about 3.30pm Thursday...it's now 7.30pm Saturday here. So that's something I guess. :sad:

[Ashsun87]

Day 16 I think... not too sure.

 

She contacted me two days ago, asking me how I was doing.

 

Didn't say anything.

 

Sometimes, this feels like the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and other times... it feels like a GREAT weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

 

One thing is for sure, NC is the ONLY way.

[EyesOnThePrize]

I think that a lot of exes think about the other party. However, I believe that in the case of the dumpers, it requires a huge amount of pride swallowing to initiate contact, and a lot of them aren't up to that.

[joed]

I agree Eyes. Especially when the contact is all negative, from the dumpee's perspective anyway. I've read a couple of theories, Blase Harris and loving 100% and an ebook, which both say don't give up even when the chips appear to be down. Then there's quotes aplenty as inspiration, one or two on this site. Anything which can not be a complete push should be tried. Of course this advice clashes with nc/lc in some ways. I even read one guy who said stop when there's a restraining order out, by then it's way too late though I figure. It's all so........well you know!

[cr44hill]

Day 17

 

Well, I've spent most of Day 17 sleeping or reading ENA. I did get my butt out for a run this morning! but otherwise, I'm here. It's tough going now as the weekends are these days.

 

I had a coffee date cancel on me but I have to say I wasn't super interested. I think I need healing time but want to begin dating too, even though maybe I'm not fully ready, some very, very casual dating can't hurt. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't jump at the chance to get back with my ex.

 

I haevn't heard from her in 17 days and that was only an email response to my email to her. Target contact date is May 13, random but had to pick a day. Maybe by then I won't want to but I find that hard to believe now.

[AngryHeart]

Day 27 - well, the one month mark Monday! I've been here before but then messed up. I hope this time will be different. I'm trying to get into either working, or studying next week, so at least I'll have other things on my mind. It's been like 5 months we've been split up. I still miss him very much, and wish things were back to how they were...or how I thought they were more like! But this evening I saw our mutual friend. He tells me first the ex has been sleeping around (which I think really is NOT like him), then says he says he has a new girlfriend, and that he claims she is the love of his life, eventhough he's been with her 2 weeks! That realllly made me feel like crap. I think I believe he has got a new woman, atlough it's hard to know the truth, because this friend that told me is backwards...and is known to get things, uh, wrong. But it wouldn't surprise me at all. I keep wondering what the truyth is, but the fact still remains he doesn't wanna be with me - girlfriend or not!!! Thing is that friend gave me my ex's new number...arrgghh, and I took it, because i wasn't really thinking straight. It was silly of me because now I have another, easier, way to contact him other thn by email if I break. I may delete it, argh, dunno. But I am not going to contact him for now, and hope I never do! I was a fool for taking his number, lol. RANT OVER.

[GetMeBack]

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH DELETE THE NUMBER HUN!!!! XXXXX

 

33 DAYS SINCE I PHYSICALLY SPOKE TO HIM ON THE PHONE

22 DAYS ACTUAL NC

 

I AM RIGHT BEHIND YOU ANGRY HEART..

[EyesOnThePrize]

If he thinks she is the love of his life, he's probably in for a rude surprise in a few weeks or few months...I think anyone who says that after 2 weeks is running on pure chemical attraction.

[AngryHeart]

You are both right. I need to delete his number. And yes, it's pretty foolish to say she's the love of his life, after 2 weeks!!! I was a few months ago! Oh how times change! lol. He'll probably either get fed up with her, or she will break his heart. I may be wrong, but given how he seems to feel so strong so soon, it's probable. It's so horrible thinking about him being all happy with her, and sleeping with her and that ... Maybe I'm selfish, but I can't bear to think of that, and hope it don't work out. Argh.