demonic-cookie Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 bostoneric - It's a litttttle bit passive aggressive, but only with the "While this clearly is not a priority to you" part. I'm not sure. It certainly gets the point accross without being petty or rude. I hope she sends you your stuff asap! Day 8 and 9 - Since I don't look at his facebook anymore and I basically haven't seen him in like... five days (spring break) it's becoming easier and easier to just forget about him. It's his sister's birthday today and we're going to hang out; I just hope I don't have to see him and his girlfriend. That's another thing; I kind of see his girlfriend's updates on facebook. It makes me feel better knowing how immature and kind of jailbait-ey she is. Which is totally shameful and petty and bitter of me, I know. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 bostoneric - It's a litttttle bit passive aggressive, but only with the "While this clearly is not a priority to you" part. I'm not sure. It certainly gets the point accross without being petty or rude. I hope she sends you your stuff asap! good point. I will adjust! any other opinions or suggestions? Link to comment
SCbunny Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 when we spoke yesterday (well...we IMed) as i posted yesteraday, he said that if we decided to continue talking it would be like "taking steps backwards" ...he said "i can move on, but if i see you it would be harder for me" he predicts that if we see each other, he will feel inclined to fall back into a relationship with me (we hang out, we hook up, and then we get back together) i dont get it. shouldn't he feel like there is no way for him to fall into any sort of relationship with me. if he dumped me, shouldnt he feel like its easy to NOT have any sort of thing for me? Sure he may be physically attracted but why does he think we could easily be together again simply by seeing me and talking to me again. Confused! Link to comment
bronte Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 bostoneric--I think with the change that demonic-cookie suggested, the message is good. I might also take out the word "ridiculous." The situation definitely *is* ridiculous but she may take it poorly--and I assume the main goal right now is to get her to send you your stuff!!! As for me, I'm on Day #1 again. I gave the ex more details about the interview yesterday and he responded by saying that he appreciated my going through all that for him, thanking me again, and apologizing for my having been caught off guard. He said that he really didn't know they would actually interview me rather than just confirming his address and that he felt "pretty bad" when he found out what had happened from my first e-mail. So, a decent response from him. I figured that was a good place to end things for now, didn't reply to that message, and am now back in NC. I think 30 days should take me up to just past when he has permission to start contacting me again, so it should all still work out... Link to comment
RaeKarma Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I really dont know what day it is since I have signed up for this chance so im just gonna go by how many days it has been since I have talked to or seen my ex.... It has been 44 days Have not seen or talked to him...i mean I have gone longer without seein or talkin to him (we didnt talk for a year cause he was with someone else and she did not like me cause he liked me) but its different when u fall in love with ur best friend and then it ends....some days go by easy and some are very difficult to cope with. I really dont wanna lose him in any fashion but what I really want now is to not lose my best friend. I think that would be the last straw in it all. Seven years of holdin one another down and a year and a half of a relationship and then it all is just gone in the blink of an eye.... that would devastate me. I hope things in our personal lives change for the better so that we can at least go back to bein friends when he retruns. It would be a devastatin shame to lose him totally. I know in these past weeks, my personal life has changed dramatically for the better and I sincerely that it has for him as well. I miss him dearly. But the NC is beneficial for personal growth and I just pray madly that things between us work out..... Link to comment
SweetSmilingYeti Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Oh so the sun shines again! I am out of the funk that lasted two days. Surprisingly, I never really feal tthe need to call him. I wanted to but I never because obsessive about it. Talking to my friends really helped as well as talking it out on here. You know, I've come to the conclusion of "it isn't worth it". All this pain, all this anguish isn't worth it. At least not for him. I've never been ashamed of my tears for those show how much I honestly loved him. I don't think anybody should be ashamed of them yet is he really worth them? The answer it NO. He never understood what I felt for him. He mocked me when I told him to grow up but I never realized how right I was. I got involved with somebody who couldn't appreciate the emotion behind a stroke of his cheek or a simple kiss on the cheek. No, he could never understand what it felt like to be in love. I can't share tears for him for that reason. I have been shedding tears for somebody who I thought loved me but I've kind of realized he never did love me back. I don't really know what to think anymore. I'm done "competing" with him. I've already won. I didn't have to change to try to fit in. I like who I am. I didn't have to go against any of my values. I hold them dear to my heart. I knwo what love is. He can only associate relaitonships with lust. What more can I say? I can't be jealous of a person who is so...superficial? As for him flirting with other girls, I don't care anymore. I can flirt with guys and find men who like me but do I want that? Nope. I don't want to settle for people who have nothing in common with. I don't need a person to like me in order to feel better about myself. I've finally been able to walk past all the couples at school and smile at their antics. They are cute. I want that. But I want that with a person who will love me back. So here is to day 12! Almost half way done! i think I am going to give myself a rainbow smiley today... weeeeeee Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Day 9 for me I FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL GOOD Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 End of Day 19 here... I'm not sure what I'm feeling now... i still feel like i miss her incredibly but i keep thinking - do i miss her or do i miss having somone? i don't know if i can make an honest decision on that either way. She's calling on Monday - i'm worried about what will be said and what our relationship will be after that... geez! Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Almost 11 hours into Day 60 I unblocked him last night, yada yada. I have deleted him so no idea whenever he logs onto MSN. But whatever. He IMed me with an emoticon that is something like -_- How lame. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 hey,malaysian,i'm from indonesia anyway it's day 13th for me(almost 2 weeks,yay) i've lost count again, so i look back on my previous post and re-read getmeback's post about me i'm feeling fine, had a dream about her,i've been dreaming about her lately mostly short dreams,and bad,like me begging etc,actually it's only 2 dreams but,no pain,at least the pain is not as great as it used to be yeterday was her birthday, somehow i don't feel like wishing her happy birthday,i did'nt forget i didn't force myself not to, i just don't want to Link to comment
rjm0827 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 day 16 odd, havent had a bad day yet..... i've thought about calling her maybe twice but quickly realized it would be dumb. before i decided to go nc and thought lc was the right thing i was so unstable and freaking out thinking about it. now that i'm doing strict nc, it seems too easy. just seems strange to me how stuff changes so. Link to comment
yo Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Hi did NC for 2 months..thought I would start LC for a while..it was all going well until now I was OK with an occasional mail and a phone call..but now I am falling for her again..I miss her and I want her back.. Somehow she's seeing thru my desperation and now she's gone back to NC or she's playing games!!!! She doesn't pick up my calls, she's not replied back to my mail..I am going insane!!!! I so wanna talk to her. Why can't she pick up my calls or call me back????? Is she doing all this on purpose or doesn't she even care about me anymore.. I HATE HER SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! It's all my fault that I even initiated contact. She doesn't give a crap about me..I had written a mail saying that I miss her and her she told me that she found it funny!!! she has no feelings and she's just fking around with mine!! But I still love her so much..I sooo want her back..Is there anything that I can do to get her back??? Is there still a chance..I sooo want her back now Link to comment
yo Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I am still feeling v sad..I need to vent...Why does it feel like everything's gonna become alrite even tho things are in such a bad mess.. Everytime I contact the ex, it feels like we are back again, all my troubles are over, we will get back together and then she starts neglecting me and I feel like crap..I don't know how long I can this cat and mouse game..I know the ending way too well..she's going to end up with another guy and I will be NOONE.. I guess it's time I stopped playing to her script and do what I feel like doing..to hell with her and everyone who doesn't love or respect me! I don't have any respect for such people. I need my sanity back...I need me back..I was soo happy without her and now I am back to being miserable..I hate this feeling..I am sooo sick n tired of playing games Why can't she just come back to me.. It's back to NC for me..I really need to move on..I can't take this anymore DAY 1 begins for the third time.... Link to comment
luxe_13 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Day 2 Have deleted him from MSN (we normally chat daily at work) - not blocked though Have deleted him from my mobile I miss him. Cried yesterday but feel much better today. Have a gut feeling he will start to miss me soon. Have told him not to contact me, hoping he will cave in but am afraid if he does contact me I won't be strong enough to ignore him. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Dont really want to talk about the story here but I need a place to keep track of my progress with NC. So, today is day 1 Link to comment
Tinnes Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Last night when a friend arrived at some birthday party, she asked me if I was with my ex last night? She thought it was me. From that piont till this morning I was so sad. Again, after Saturday I met him in the night club, ignoring me, I felt sooo bad. But, I know one thing. It will pass. It has once, and it will again. Just I need to put together myself. Problem is that I always answered to his messages. I was acting cool, pretending I could hendle it. At that time I did not care of him. But now, when I told him not to text me, and he does not, and he is being seen with other girl, I am going sad. Nothing can help, but NC again. And the knowledge that I do not want him anymore, because I am/was always so hurt by his deeds. Just to get over being jealous. It is very hard, but I'll keep it cool in front of him. Dear yo, go NC. I played with fire and got burned again. So, you did, too. Let us heal. You have to know this. She cannot do to you anything if you do not let her. Dont betray yourself, and your heart again, telling her you love her, and letting her make it funn of that. Don't let anybody use you, no mather how much you love them. I never let my boyfriend do to me what he wants. Even if I had an urge to call him, I never did it. My huge mistake was doing LC that prevented me to heal completely. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Welcome Ixtapa - I love your quote Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Day 16 of NC and it is slowly (and i do mean slowly) getting better. I can see why NC has helped so many people as it is a way if used correctly to heal your heart when it has been broken. It is not easy walking this path and to do this, you need inner strength, the will to move on, the power to see the light, to be strong enough to get through the burning flame of pain, and to see yourself without them. It is very difficult when you cannot let go but if you can try to move forward, you will see that with time your heart will put pieces of it back together and you will be able to love once again. I wish all the people going through NC and rough times find strength and courage to stand up and fight the pain that hurts us all and hopefully realize that one day we will find that special person and it is only a matter of time until we are completely happy forever. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Welcome Ixtapa - I love your quote Thanks honeyspur...I just wish I would feel GOOD more often than not Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 it is only a matter of time until we are completely happy forever. I wish I had your optimism but I dont think there is such a thing as being "completely happy forever". There will always be hard times but as we get older we learn that we are strong enough to get through them and survive... Link to comment
bronte Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Day #2 now...but even though my current day count is low, I can tell that the previous round of NC (before the job stuff) did some good as well...I don't know what exactly changed over the last few days, but I'm feeling a lot less sad and a lot more angry at the way he treated me. I realized last night that I never really got to be angry about the breakup because he wanted to be my "friend" so soon afterwards--and I felt bad about feeling angry with someone who was being so "nice" to me. But the truth is, he broke my heart and couldn't have done a more thorough job if he'd intentionally set out to do so...I should get to be angry about it!!! I shouldn't have to pretend that everything's okay and that his expecting us to immediately be friends was a reasonable expectation. And if I don't want to talk to him in April, I shouldn't have to...and who cares if he's upset by it? I don't want to be this angry forever, of course, because that's not healthy...but I think that anger may be an important step on the way to healing. My friends and family certainly seem to think it's a very encouraging sign... Link to comment
SamT Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Hey guys just thought id drop in... not sure what day im on exactly.. but its all going pretty well i dont think about her as much nowadays maybe because im feeling so much better or maybe because ive been distracted by other women telling me how amazing i am haha! anyway, hang in there guys... you really have to get through the pain to see the light on the other side x Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Oh, definitely Ix as nothing comes easy. It is always a work in progress so to speak but at least people can try to look forward and hope that one day they will be completely healed and out of this rut. It seems so distant now but if we stay the course, we can succeed and let ourselves heal to love all over again. Link to comment
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