Are MOST men Minute Men?

[valiantv]

Man I wish I could last 2 minutes never mind 10 or 30-40! All this talk about desensitising cream or whatever, I don't know it sounds like a sort of temporary solution... Then again I'm not that experienced so maybe that's it...

 

When you guys say he sees to her beforehand, what exactly do you mean? I am not sure she likes me going to work with my finger or tongue... Or maybe I just need to improve myself at that... Ahh well

[Cardinal]

Right, generally orally, manually, or with toys. Just take your time and focus on her pleasure. For me at least, oral is the most fun when I don't exactly worrying about when she orgasms but rather are just watching her body signals and doing whatever you can to please her.

 

She'll have to meet you half way no matter what. Everyone is responsible for their own orgasms.

[ozsid]

Man I wish I could last 2 minutes never mind 10 or 30-40! All this talk about desensitising cream or whatever, I don't know it sounds like a sort of temporary solution... Then again I'm not that experienced so maybe that's it...

 

When you guys say he sees to her beforehand, what exactly do you mean? I am not sure she likes me going to work with my finger or tongue... Or maybe I just need to improve myself at that... Ahh well

 

Basically I would not even think of entering my wife till she is well on her way. So fingers, kissing all over, oral sex, you name it. That way once intercourse starts, I know that she will come fairly soon and I don't have to worry about 'hold it'.....'hold it'.....i.e. me trying to stop from coming too early. Takes the pressure off me worrying about coming prematurely. Quite often she will come first and it's a case of "OK your turn, have me any way you like" !

 

Other times I'll pull out..go back to the fingers, kissing, oral etc then start again. It's really a question of, if you want to last longer, stop what you are doing that is likely to make you come.......before you cannot stop! It's not rocket science

[lizziebee]

All the men I have dated or married (2) have been 10 minute men..or less. My current b/f can go forever which is sometimes exhausting but always fun. When I start losing interest or my mind starts to drift I will quickly change positions, throw him on his back, tell him I want to lick him all over, anything to get the fire roaring....

[SonambulatingSpecialist]

Who determines weather an orgasm is "premature" anyway? Who has set the standard? Women, perhaps, but if men themselves were truly satisfied with their own climax, then why would they rate it as premature? I believe that ejaculation actually circumvents orgasm, which is what most men truly want to achieve. You know, orgasm, the psychosexual climax that stands apart from the physical process of ejaculation. Thusly, many men are unsatisfied.

It’s interesting than men are taught that they must “remain in control” and women are told to “open up” and relax when having sex. If men focus on the more emotional aspects of sex and themselves “open up”, they might naturally remain in control, a task that is difficult considering our mechanistic focus during intercourse. Think less, we might be able to orgasm more.

Women in this situation should learn a bit more about the mechanics of male orgasm. The penis has different erogenous zones that induce different responses! Stimulating the underside of the glans seems to bring about quick ejaculation. But no guarantee of orgasm. And what area experiences a great deal of vaginal contact during intercourse? The teaching of orgasm has become so vaginal-centric that no one seems to be aware of this.

So, before you suspect selfishness, egoism or arrogance, think for a moment about the male perspective. It’s partly biological ( ease of impregnation) partly physical ( mechanics of intercourse) , perhaps emotional ( emotional disconection ) and probably caused by more than a little bit of ignorance on both sides.

Forget the desensitizing cream, recognize the limits of ejaculatory cycle and try to move beyond them, it's all we can do.

 

[SonambulatingSpecialist]

Miracle, if some members take offence it's partly the wording you used in your first post, it does sound rather acusationary, and directed towards "maleness" in general, rather than issues dealing with one male in particular.

[Unstoppable_Juggernaut]

Ok, I already know some nobody is going to believe me and I really don't care. For me a quickie is about 10 minutes. For me its more about pleasing the lady i'm having sex with as opposed to just getting my rocks off. The more frequent she orgasms, the more excited I get. The wilder she is with her orgasm, the more excited I get. A "low moaning, eyes rolling to the back of her head then close her eyes girl" doesn't excite me as much as a "oh my god, oh s*#t girl!" does. When she gets louder and breathes much harder I get very excited. Now if she was talking mad junk about how I couldn't handle it then, I will make it my business to make her cum for as many time and as long as possible. I just enjoy watching a women cum, it is the ultimate ego booster.

[dyoung]

maybe I'm confused, now I know I'll blow in a good 5 minutes but after I blow the first time, I'm still ready to party and continue on for atleast 45 minutes or longer. now in that time I might blow a few times but what the problem...

it can get a little messy but what the problem?

I'm confused...

[dyoung]

EXACTLY, ITS LIKE "BLOOD IN THE WATER TO A SHARK"

[Mark1016]

I can last pretty much as long as I want to.. All I do when Iget close to going off is relax all muscles a bit and it goes away for another 5 min or so, sometimes I need to think of something else for a while too though.

 

Only problem is I sometimes last too long.. And I end up boring both of us for about 5 or 10 min before I can get it over with

Well, if the lady really turns me on both physically and mentally, I will pop almost as soon as I touch her. Once I regain, I can last pretty much indefinitely. I am a very visual person. If she is "attractive" in the southern region, I am a goner.

 

I think the main thing is the connection. If I care about her, I last a shorter period of time. Go figure.

[Mark1016]

I agree 500%

[zerohalo]

I cant' believe I actually read all the threads in this post.

 

I'm chiming in her only because I didn't see anyone else mention it. I actually was sort of in the reverse situation. My ex -always- wanted me to cum quickly because she loved the feeling of it. So here I am, wanting to go as long as I could, and she wanted to just feel me spurting and spasming inside her.

 

It was never very satisfying to me because I require a fair amount of psychological stimulation to get off. Nevertheless, she did on occasion let me go for as long as I wanted. She never did walk straight the rest of the day, which was a nice ego boost.

 

So really, this isn't a male issue, it's a relationship issue. I think it's selfish for a woman to be upset when her man has the occasional problem holding back, and I think it's selfish for a man to only care about his needs. That being said, just because a man comes early does not mean that he is being selfish. There are just way too many factors to take into account.

 

I remember once, my ex had spent so much time dolling herself up, I came in about 30 seconds. She was just so gorgeous that I couldn't help myself, and I remember her having a very wicked smile on her face when I told her that.

[deleted_x]

I can generally control mine to a degree. Sometimes I wanna go quick, sometimes I wanna take my time - as DMX says, my guy goes when I tell em!

 

If your man cums in a couple minutes - why not have him jerk off 5 minutes before having sex?

 

He'll be sure to last 20-40 minutes then! image removed

[NoComply]

its true we last 5-10 minutes the first time round, but give us a minute and were ready to go again...

each time generally takes longer .. and we can keep on going

 

so i dont really see the problem

[donescobar2000]

I don't have that problem...I can go up to an hour with me controlling myself...its about pleasing my partner with me.

[PhilliesFan001]

I'm with RayKay...I prefer it if the actual intercourse part of sex doesn't last longer than 10 minutes. That's around the right amount of time for my boyfriend & I. Plus, to me, all the good stuff comes before

[Orisis]

What's the problem? Who cares if your man comes in the matters on minutes? That shouldn't matter, as long as you understand that. As many said, some can hold it. Some cannot. It depends on the man and their psychology, or brain power, so to speak. My significant other and I don't last long either, first time 'round. That's why you keep going! Geeze. XD As many has said before.

 

Mainly this topic repeats itself... Lol.

[Armyguy3682003]

Well, it depends on the situation. Its all in the mind I have been told by my doctor. He is right becasue I have had a hard time releasing within a hour. It depends on the type of sex she is into. If its slow and romantic, then it will take a lot longer becasue I am not into as much. I am a romantic by heart, but I have a desire for wild sex, meaning a lot harder. When the woman talks dirty to me, then its easier to get off. So it depends on the situation. It has taken me sometimes 1 to 2 hours to get off, which is toooooo long because it gets tiresome and like someone else said here, it can become boring and upsetting for the woman and man. My main goal is if she has an orgasm which makes me happy, but when I havent, then she becomes upset because she thinks its her and it isnt her. Just like the question, would you like a man that has stamina and goes longer to get you to reach multiple orgasms (women) or have a man that can reach orgasm multiple times during sex, like 2 or possible 3 times if he has the energy to be able to do that?

[Serpent Queen]

The minute men can be embarrassing for us girls too. I've thought people were "just kidding around" about blowing their top. Boy, that was awkward. I don't mind the minute men as long as they know they are. If you KNOW your only gonna last five minutes before you begin, WHY don't you do something about it...EH????..Like pleasure her for as long as possible in some other way or.....thinking about baseball or something.

[zerohalo]

or.....thinking about baseball or something.

"Chandlers arms.... Chandlers elbows.... Chandlers knees..."

[ajax]

The misconception that we men have growing up is that we can last longer by keeping our mind off sex, etc. Truth be told, ejaculation is initiated by a chemical process in the brain. Brain chemistry obviously differs from man to man, hence the difference in staying time.

 

I personally struggled with bing a minute man for years, tried everything available over the counter, nothing worked so I focused on foreplay to make up for it.

 

Recently I went to the doctor and told him about my problem. Seems medically, anything under 2 minutes is considered PE. There *IS* a medical treatment that most men respond to -- SSRI Drugs.

 

Normally prescribed for depression they were quickly found to delay ejaculation. And they do work. I have been taking them for a few weeks and making love feels different, its the best thing I have done. Hard to talk about, but when you realize that its all brain chemistry you start to feel a little better about yourself as a man, and when the drugs kick in your partner will like it too.

[pinokyo]

hi i think u r daiting the wrong guys...

try to find some new friend / friends

[Parsley]

Replying to your original post - my ex wasn't. He wouldn't going at it for hours, but just long enough But after that we'd rarely go again...(not for lack of trying I might add!) I think the most was 4 times over 2 days, and the last time he didn't actually go to orgasm (actually, now I think of it, neither of us did). It didn't matter though. He was absolutely fantastic...*daydream*

 

Agh...I seriously miss sleeping with that guy.

[karvala]

Ladies and Gentlemen!

 

 

 

I'd like to know what you will say to this question. I want to know if MOST women are with or have dated men who don't last longer than 10 minutes. I mean is this the norm? And to the men, why is it so hard for a man these days to go the long haul. Don't we deserve more than a few minutes? Or is it just married sex that turns into a boring minute fest? Come clean ladies. Is it possible for a man to last longer than a few minutes...does it mean they are not trying...or is it really that hard?

 

 

 

To the two men on the planet who don't last two minutes...congrats you are in the MINORITY!

 

LMAO. Thank-you; I wonder who the other one is. Must admit I was surprised when women first commented on the amount of time I can happily take, but as I heard it more often, I guessed that most men must be quicker. The challenge with my current gf at first was that she would orgasm some time before me, but we're mostly in sync now, and very nice too.

[karvala]

Two caveats here

 

(1) It's not entirely a misconception; I can largely control the timing of an orgasm (from a few minutes up to a couple of hours of continuous intercourse) by thinking of things (which is very handy ).

 

(2) You're right about SSRI's, but for many men, they will do too good a job in this regard, and make them frequently impotent (while on them; not a permanent effect), so they should be used only in relatively extreme cases.