Single or not? How to find out...

[WrongTurn435]

How would one find out whether somebody you're interested in is single or not in a conversation? Obviously, asking outright would probably be slightly rude, so what are "strategies" that can be employed to find out this vital information?

 

Clearly, I have limited experience in the dating realm, but it's a work in progress.

 

Thanks for any information.

[DizzyDoris]

Hi, why not once the conversations established, drop a line in such as " oh yeah? and what does your boyfriend think of that?"

 

If she's single she'll soon correct that statement!

[friscodj]

Hi, why not once the conversations established, drop a line in such as " oh yeah? and what does your boyfriend think of that?"

 

If she's single she'll soon correct that statement!

 

Yep, this is the best general approach I think.

 

Another one I like to drop in the midst of a convo is, "Your boyfriend's a lucky guy." A compliment wrapped nicely in a question...

[TheRedQueen]

Another one I like to drop in the midst of a convo is, "Your boyfriend's a lucky guy."

Having been the recipient of this line more than a handful of times, I find it to be, well, tacky and unoriginal.

 

There's nothing wrong with casually asking a girl whether or not she's currently dating someone, or if she has a boyfriend. The more honest and sincere you are in asking, the more likely you'll get an honest response.

.

[sparkle1]

I agree with the "so what does your boyfriend think of that" but if someone said "your boyfriend is a lucky guy" and i didn't fancy the guy asking it would give me the opportunity to say "yes he is - move away"

 

I don't think in this day and age there is anything wrong with saying "so are you single?"

 

dunno - i usually fish about a bit first and go from there.....

[atraceofblood]

I don't see anything wrong with saying "do you have a bf?" I did that recently and it worked fine.

 

Sometimes it's really hard to say it.

[cc2006]

Having been the recipient of this line more than a handful of times, I find it to be, well, tacky and unoriginal.

 

There's nothing wrong with casually asking a girl whether or not she's currently dating someone, or if she has a boyfriend. The more honest and sincere you are in asking, the more likely you'll get an honest response.

.

 

"Your boyfriend is a lucky guy" is your OUT statement, thats the one before you back away

 

 

"You're really sweet/pretty/funny/cute/smart/whatever ... are you seeing anyone right now?"

 

If she says no ... hurray.

 

If she says yes? .. THEN you say "Your boyfriend is a lucky guy" to fill the silence while you're feeling somewhat uncomfortable.

[charley]

First check for rings. Second, what is rude about asking? I don't it's rude at all, but it is a scary thing for a shy person to ask.

[galaxy71]

Some time ago, I met this attractive women through my friends. When I talked to her that night, I was having a pretty good conversation with each other. For some reason, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She looked uncomfortable and said no. The girl than excused herself from the conversation.

 

The question about whether she was single or not made the conversation extremely awkward. It broke the entire flow of the conversation. The question showed too much interest on my part. I posted what happened on another forum. The females agreed that it is extremely awkward to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend or not.

 

If you like someone, just ask them out on a DATE. They will tell you their relationship status if they are already taken.

[WrongTurn435]

Some time ago, I met this attractive women through my friends. When I talked to her that night, I was having a pretty good conversation with each other. For some reason, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She looked uncomfortable and said no. The girl than excused herself from the conversation.

 

The question about whether she was single or not made the conversation extremely awkward. It broke the entire flow of the conversation. The question showed too much interest on my part. I posted what happened on another forum. The females agreed that it is extremely awkward to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend or not.

 

If you like someone, just ask them out on a DATE. They will tell you their relationship status if they are already taken.

 

That's exactly the concern I had when creating this thread. If there's mutual interest, then simply asking outright is alright, but if one party isn't interested, it'll definitely create an awkward conversation. However, from reading the responses so far, it seems to be the case that avoiding that awkwardness will prove difficult, but is that necessarily a bad thing? That is, if it gets to that awkwardness due to lack of interest, is that bad? He/She is clearly not interested, so it's really nothing gained nothing lost.

 

In other words, the notion of "you've got nothing to lose by asking" is possibly reinforced...

[arrrrffff]

If you like someone, just ask them out on a DATE. They will tell you their relationship status if they are already taken.

 

I agree it does breakdown a convo if you directly ask the question. I think it takes multiple dates to guage if she is single passively. If you like each other it will show.

 

However... about girls telling you their status, sometimes you will run into girls who are in relationships AND take you out on date(s).

[paulm]

I like when girls try to be subtle about it, because I totally bust em every time. If a guy like me can sense a subtle implication, most women probably can too...

 

"So your girlfriend must cook you dinner..."

"What does your girlfriend think of that..."

 

Yes, I bust em every time, and make sure to point it out until they turn red.

 

Just be direct - "are you single?" is good enough.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think you can work both ideas into one statement... say something like, 'i'd really like to meet you for coffee sometime if you're interested and available...' i.e., ask her for a small meeting that isn't a big deal, and it gives her an easy out. if she has a boyfriend, she will probalby say something like, 'i'd love to, but sorry i have a boyfriend,' and if she doesn't and wants to go out with you, she'll say yes, that's a great idea!

[GeneralLee]

My usual course of action when trying to find out if a girl has a boyfriend is to use a question or statement that forces her to correct you about her relationship status. (i.e. Once you've been talking with her for a while, I think I saw you (insert location here) with your boyfriend a few nights ago. Or maybe Hey, is your boyfriends name (insert name here)? I think I met him (insert place here) a few nights ago? Chances are she knows what you're getting at, but you've still got plausible deniability.

[rocio]

If I'm trying to find out whether a man is married, I ask him a question about his "family". If he's not married, he will usually talk about his parents and brothers or sisters. If he's married, he'll talk about the wife and kids.

 

As far as finding out whether someone is "on the market", so to speak, I think you have to be a little more blunt. Even if they are taken, they will be flattered and it shouldn't ruin a friendship.

[bitbit]

Hi, why not once the conversations established, drop a line in such as " oh yeah? and what does your boyfriend think of that?"

 

If she's single she'll soon correct that statement!

 

i HATE that line with a passion. every girl i know hates it too. and the "your boyfriend is lucky" line sucks too. just ask flat out "so do you have a boyfriend?" i can't see how a simple question is rude.

[bitbit]

Some time ago, I met this attractive women through my friends. When I talked to her that night, I was having a pretty good conversation with each other. For some reason, I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She looked uncomfortable and said no. The girl than excused herself from the conversation.

 

The question about whether she was single or not made the conversation extremely awkward. It broke the entire flow of the conversation. The question showed too much interest on my part. I posted what happened on another forum. The females agreed that it is extremely awkward to ask a girl if she has a boyfriend or not.

 

If you like someone, just ask them out on a DATE. They will tell you their relationship status if they are already taken.

 

 

maybe she was fresh out of a breakup and you reminded her of the imense heart break she was trying to escape that night. shame on you!