GeneralLee

The only reason I say not to insult anything is because I have horrid luck with things like that, and I would choose to insult the one thing that would offend them, so just to be on the safe side, I relegate my insults to myself. This is the safest strategy because I can't possibly offend them by insulting myself, unless they really like me, in which case I don't need to worry in the first place.

Its always works for me to use your surroundings, and preferably. Example: I was in walmart not too long ago when I saw a very pretty girl in the make up aisle. I walked down the aisle and started looking at make-up (which drew some sideways glances from people, but I don't really care). She was looking at lipstick, so I just picked up two sticks and faced her and said "Do I look like a "Fire-engine Red" or a "Passion Purple" to you?" She started laughing and picked up a different color and said "Oh no, you're definitely a "Neon Blue." We kept this up for a few minutes until we ran out of products and just started walking around talking. Things like that. Try to avoid insulting anything, and if you do have to insult something, make it yourself, but do it in a funny way, which actually shows a certain level of self-confidence. If you're super-confident, and don't mind getting shot down like a paper airplane in a flak storm before it works, go with this one, which I love using just to get laughs: Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? To which she should reply "No." Then say, "me neither, but I'll bet its enough to break the ice." Or this one "You know what a fat penguin is good for?" "No." "Breaking the ice." She'll have to have a good sense of humor to go for those, but they've worked for me in the past. Have fun, but more importantly, have confidence.

I think she knows its a date, but is there any way I can make it clear that its a date aside from from calling her and going "Oh yeah, by the way, Friday is a date and not a friend thing."

Ok, I asked her out. I called her today and we made a little small talk about Christmas and what-not and I asked her what she was doing on Thurs. She said she was busy, but was probably free on Fri. So we are set to go to the movies Friday. So...uh...I dunno...hooray for me I guess.

Ok, well I'm calling her tomorrow. I'm going to ask her out but I'd like some input. I asked her to a movie once already, but she had family business and couldn't go. Is the movies again out of the question or could I ask her "How about that movie we were talking about?"; something of that nature? If not, then can you suggest a good type of place to go? Should I make this a clearly intended date, or just a friendly outing? I know you guys feel like the blind leading the (very) dumb, but this will be my first date if all goes well. Thanks for all your help so far.

How long should I wait to call her again, and how long should I wait to ask her out. Should I even call her at all or let her call me?

To understand why women seem to do this, you have to understand the mental hardwiring common to almost all humans. As much as we'd like to deny it, we still have that primal programming in the backs of our minds suggesting to us what to look for in a mate. Women, atleast to some degree, are going to be attracted to a big, tall guy. A guy who looks like he can protect her from the world and bring home dinner, and the guys are going to be attracted to a curvy woman (read: I'm not saying fat, just not anorexic) who looks health and like she could provide offspring. We can't control it, and more or less don't realize we think this way. The only thing that separates us from animals in this respect is our capacity for love. This is what allows us to override these hardwired ideas and be attracted to someone who otherwise wouldn't be an ideal mate. Don't worry about it man, for every woman you find whos turned off by your height, there are two more out there who would be attracted to you because of it.

Hey man, you gave me advice, heres some for you. You just gotta bite the bullet and do it man. I know that after the way your ex did you in, you feel like all women are evil and only want to hurt you, but thats not how it is. In my experience a women is not going to trash you to her friends unless you pull a pretty creepy stunt like sitting down and going at her, never saying a word. Of course you're going to get shot down, but most of the girls I've been shot down by don't really give it a second though once you leave. But back to what I said, you just have to bite the bullet and go do it. Find a girl whos alone in a place without alot of people to re-cut your teeth on. Kinda like how most high school and college football teams start their seasons out with a game they are more or less guarenteed to win so their players have a confidence boost going into the season. Do the same thing, start out with a girl who you have a pretty low chance of getting burned with. Hope you can get past your problems and back into the game.

I'm about 60/40 with personality being 60 and looks being 40. Obviously looks is what attracts me first since you can't see a personality. But if I start talking with a girl and don't like her personality, its more or less over then and there.

Ya, it kinda was, do you think thats gonna cost me?

Don't get me wrong man, I have every intention of trying to date this girl regardless, but I thought this would be a good time to get some input from you guys, being that its Christmas for the next two days, and she is on a family trip.

I've become much more outgoing lately in respects towards women and dating. We had our school talent show the other day, and I was in it. I didn't win, but a girl I talked to for a while backstage did. Long story short, I asked for her phone number afterwards and she gave it to me. It just so happened that I was going to the movies the next night with some friends. I called and asked if she wanted to come with us, but she was having a family event that night, and had two more the following two days, so she couldn't. I apologized for interrupting her family event, and she asked me for my phone number and told me she'd call me later. She called about 15 minutes later, and we talked for close to an hour. She asked alot of questions about me (favorite music, do I smoke, drink, do drugs, do I dance, sing, play instruments) and answered all of mine. She told me she didn't really "date" because she has so much going on with school and extra-curriculars and that shes only had two boyfriends. She also has a nickname for me already (based on a shirt I was wearing when we met.) After about an hour of conversation, she said she was going to get a shower and go to bed. I told her to call me, or I'd call her over our Christmas break and she laughed like I had said something cute. We exchanged goodbyes, and that was it. How should I interpret all of this. I was encouraged by the long conversation, interrogative questions, and the nickname. But I was also worried by her telling me she doesn't date much and that she laughed when I told her to call me. I'd love to hear some opinions because I'm very attracted to this girl, both physically and to her personality.

I'm going to have to lump in with the majority of the posters. What you're going through sounds more like a neurosis than simple shyness. Counciling may be the best idea for you. I sincerely hope that whatever your issue is you can get it resolved and start having normal relationships with those of the female persuasion.

There is nothing wrong with a relationship between people of different faiths, ethnicities, nationalities, or anything else. Although Muslims, Jews and Christians don't get along well, I firmly believe we are all worshiping the same God, only by different names. You sound as though you have very Jewish beliefs, not believeing Christ to be the Messiah, and following the Old Testament, and thats wonderful (I'm Catholic, so I'm not supposed to say that, but you won't tell anyone will you?). In the end it all comes back to the heart. Believe what you know in your heart to believe, and love who you know in your heart, you love.

Well, I didn't ask her out today, but I did ask for her phone number. I need some knowledgable advice on how to read her response. I was talking to her in class today and was trying to lead up to asking her phone number, but the teacher kept yelling at me. We we're working on a paper with 50 questions on it, so I wrote in a space for number 51 and made the question "What is (her name)'s phone number?" and asked her if she could help me with question 51. She started laughing and going "Get out of here" jokingly, so I laughed too and went back to my work. After class I said "So you didn't know the answer to number 51 or you just didn't want to tell me?" She said "Nope, don't know it." Is she brushing me off, toying with me, politely denying me, or what?