friend w/benefits

[revelation27]

i been posting last two weeks here took the breakup very hard we are remaining friends she considers me her best friend....well we broke up she cant handle a relationship right now too much needs to be fixed in her life....we talked a few times like friends do she asked me a couple of times if i was seeing someone already which i wasnt i told her no...made me curious asked her sat night if she wanted to just date and take it slow she thought about it we got together sunday morning at her house she said no she doesnt want to date so said the hell with it we hung out all day together went ran errands had a few drinks at hooters watching the game....got back to myself and had sex for about 4 hours probably the best sex we ever had together too....we work together we went to go run an errand during work together she raved about how good last night was...so did i....she gave me a deep kiss when we got back to work before we got out the car....well i feel great right now i love this last two weeks all i did was cry over the breakup....she even said if u meet somebody to hold back....just hope im not setting myself up for pain later on down the line i know i probably am but hell i like this what we have now friends w/benefits and thats it....any advice or warnings? or how i should handle myself

[RayKay]

My advice is that it is not a good idea.

 

It will delay your healing, give you a lot of false hopes and will make it even worse when she reaffirms again she does not want to be in a relationship (or she decides she does..with someone else).

 

Being friends with benefits with your ex whom dumped you is generally NEVER a good idea because as much as you say you will be able to handle it......it is extremely rare that you actually can.

[Biffy]

You said it yourself - you KNOW you're setting yourself up for pain later.

 

"she even said if u meet somebody to hold back"

 

The cheek of it!

 

She's using you, wake up sir and tell her that she needs to treat you how you deserve to be treated - as a partner... or she can hit the bricks.

[DMXtreme]

Friends with bennies rarely works out, I've tried and too many emotions run deep. Unless both of you are ok with this then I think you should stay away from it. FWB means you guys are free to date around, that will not be good, how would you take it if you found out she was messing around with some other dude? Either you are together or not.

[heloladies21]

Hey as long as you know what you're getting yourself into (she will dump you eventually 100% sure, you will develop false hope that the two of you will get back together and this have your heart broken worse, wasting time that you could be using to find someone else, ruining the small chance you two could have at getting back together by accepting a FWB instead of sticking up for yourself and only accepting a relationship). But hey, you only live once, right?

 

So enjoy it while it lasts, but this is the calm before the storm and it's gonna be a doozie.

[MessedUpInHead]

...............................

[Scout]

My advice is still the same as it was in your other thread. It's over with this girl, except for when she wants to see you on her terms, and then when she meets someone else, it will be over for good.

 

Gather your self-respect, friend, and don't put yourself in this position.

[friscodj]

The fact this is posted in the "Getting Back Together" forum says a lot about your intentions here.

 

With that said, no words are going to pull you away from the sexual Garden of Eden you are in right now. Experiencing "living" superficially in an illusion like this and the subsequent emotional chainsaw massacre will be one of the best lessons you've ever learned in your life. Just don't knock her up!

[lizzie]

Been there, done that - boy is everyone giving you good advise.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think i am in a similar situation right now... he doesn't want to break it off because we have been friends/lovers forever, but he wants to have his cake and eat it too... i know rationally there is no benefit to this for me, and i think the same for you... i do understand it is hard though, when you have the best of intentions and hope for the future, and she is just enjoying doing whatever she pleases, with whomever she pleases, with no strings attached.