bruinsy81 Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Exactly. It's damaging to think what the OP said in her first post. Shy guys do not approach girls. If you're shy, you don't approach. If you're shy, you don't approach. Get it drilled into your head. So what's a shy guy to do then give up hope?It is true that many shy men may never approach women say in a bar and be able to woo her that way,but almost every shy guy can socialize to a degree in a setting where they are comfortable.That's the challenge for a shy guy distinquish between what is working and what isn't .The cold approach[approaching a total stranger and attempting to land a date] is unrealistic for most shy men ,they should focus on activities they enjoy that can incorportate the opposite sex.. There is hope for the shyest man alive . Link to comment
Dako Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 This thread begins with a statement in the guise of a rule. It's total BS. No rules govern how shy guys behave. They can connect with women in all kinds of ways without having to play some predetermined role. They can talk to women and enjoy the ride without building it up into an epic effort for conquest. They can compliment women, share common interests and much more if they relax and don't make it so friggin important. Women are sweet and seldom bite. Unless asked. Link to comment
shy2cool Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I'm too scared to ask girls out. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I think the real question for women is do you want to be with a guy who is too shy to ask you out. In other words, what kind of relationship are you looking for? Do you want to be the one in the relationship who initates things more - physical, emotional commitment, activities, etc. There is an element of seeing what the future might be like and not wanting to be the primary initiator in the relationship. Link to comment
Prefix Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I think the real question for women is do you want to be with a guy who is too shy to ask you out. In other words, what kind of relationship are you looking for? Do you want to be the one in the relationship who initates things more - physical, emotional commitment, activities, etc. There is an element of seeing what the future might be like and not wanting to be the primary initiator in the relationship. Whats wrong with that? I never understood why women have such a 'hard' time being the initiators of things... I mean, come on, this isn't the 1700's. Women are on equal footing as men. It's just as awkward for me to and ask a girl out as it'd be for a girl to go and ask a guy out... Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Whats wrong with that? I never understood why women have such a 'hard' time being the initiators of things... I mean, come on, this isn't the 1700's. Women are on equal footing as men. It's just as awkward for me to and ask a girl out as it'd be for a girl to go and ask a guy out... I don't know if you were hearing what I said ... about continually being the initiator in the relationship. Not everyone wants a passive partner. So, what you are getting to is relationship preference. Would you try to argue a woman out of preferring to date tall men? Link to comment
Prefix Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I don't know if you were hearing what I said ... about continually being the initiator in the relationship. Not everyone wants a passive partner. So, what you are getting to is relationship preference. Would you try to argue a woman out of preferring to date tall men? My apologies. I thought you were inferring that women require the male to be the initiator at all times. I agree with you that not everyone wants a passive partner, but I do not think it is the man's job to initiate everything. Not anymore, at least. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I don't know if you were hearing what I said ... about continually being the initiator in the relationship. Not everyone wants a passive partner. So, what you are getting to is relationship preference. Would you try to argue a woman out of preferring to date tall men? I don't think shy people remain shy are once inside a relationship. Once the 'shy one' is in their comfort zone that shyness goes away. So I don't think it follows it would be a continual issue about initiating. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I don't think shy people remain shy are once inside a relationship. Once the 'shy one' is in their comfort zone that shyness goes away. So I don't think it follows it would be a continual issue about initiating. Well, I think whether or not the shyness goes away depends on the individual. I do think that "shy" can equate to "passive" for some women and they aren't interested in that. Link to comment
bruinsy81 Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Well, I think whether or not the shyness goes away depends on the individual. I do think that "shy" can equate to "passive" for some women and they aren't interested in that. That's fine but some women might be dismissing a potentially great partner and most shy people do not remain shy once they get to know someone.So suggesting that because a man will not approach and ask you out he is therefore flawed and undatable is pretty limiting in my opinion.Sadly, it does seem to be common today.I sometimes think the axe murderer types who feel confident and good about themselves[whether they deserve to or not]and will ask women out seem to do better than many shy good looking men. Link to comment
Organs Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 I don't know if you were hearing what I said ... about continually being the initiator in the relationship. Not everyone wants a passive partner. So, what you are getting to is relationship preference. Would you try to argue a woman out of preferring to date tall men? Is this to imply that, by never asking men out and having men initiate all introductions, that men initiate everything in a relationship? Are you saying women are passive? And you know what? I would try to argue a woman out of preferring to date tall men, even if only to provide a different perspective. Link to comment
galaxy71 Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 I can't believe that people continue to trivalize how there are a lot more differences within a gender than between genders. Not all guys are aggressive, loud, and outgoing. Not all women are sweet, delicate, and fragile. Some men are more quieter and introverted than other men due to temperament and personality. I admit that I am guility of judging people based on their sex instead of their personality. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Is this to imply that, by never asking men out and having men initiate all introductions, that men initiate everything in a relationship? Are you saying women are passive? And you know what? I would try to argue a woman out of preferring to date tall men, even if only to provide a different perspective. No. No. No. Link to comment
ter93 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 No. No. No. It's just the game. But seriously, why is it okay for women to be the "passive" partner in a relationship and not men? Link to comment
Gladiatus Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 There are some true to that statement. If you really REALLY want something you will always go for it. Link to comment
redsoles Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Its true. ULTIMATELY. If said person truly wants something, THEY WILL GO AFTER IT. Sorry but it's a fact. You'd grow balls and face your shyness. Link to comment
DN Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Its true. ULTIMATELY. If said person truly wants something, THEY WILL GO AFTER IT. Sorry but it's a fact. You'd grow balls and face your shyness.It is always a little hazardous to say that something is a fact when there are people whose personal experiences are to the opposite conclusion. Essentially, you are saying they are either liars or that they are completely wrong about their own self-awareness. Link to comment
Dako Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 I agree with DN. I've had many of my life experiences dismissed as impossibilities on this forum. I seldom feel offended anymore but assume the comments come from inexperience. We all have a different point of view because we come from different perspectives. Otherwise, how could we benefit from the views of others? Link to comment
Jake Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 To be brutally honest I find the title of this thread insulting. The assumption made as no reference to me because I have truly really liked a women before and I have not been able to approach her. Granted the girl I liked during high school I did approach...after 3 years but that's way past possibly ever dating her. I don't even know what I was thinking at the time... like I would've had a chance by that point lol! -Jake Link to comment
shygal2008 Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 I know in experiences of friends and family who pined away for someone (in some cases for years) due to low self esteem, anxiety, and other reasons DID NOT approach the one they were crushing on..or simply couldn't and never attempted to ask the girl on a proper date of any kind...i know at least 3 people like this all have the same stories. Link to comment
Organs Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 Its true. ULTIMATELY. If said person truly wants something, THEY WILL GO AFTER IT. Sorry but it's a fact. You'd grow balls and face your shyness. If this were true, this forum wouldn't exist. Link to comment
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