DaBladeRoden Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 or women with absolutely dismal social lives Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 True:Sometimes you feel so gravitated to someone and you feel that natural comfort to them that shyness disappates. False:Some guys are too shy or inexperinced that shyness remains a road block. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Being "a bit shy" will not stop a man who is sincerely interested and available. In my experience -- I often got asked out by shy men - my boyfriend now was very shy when we met many years ago and he asked me out back then and we dated for awhile back then. The "he might be shy" is a convenient way to rationalize contacting a man who hasn't contacted you.Is expressing your interest via a friend considered the same thing as asking her out? I think the majority of relationships start through one's social network or perhaps the social network of the person you are interested in.I don't think the cold approach[asking someone out upfront]happens or is successful that often.Sometimes it is wishfull thinking to think a very shy man is going to change overnight and ask someone out point blank.Instead of constanly harping on how a shy man has to change [otherwise be unfairly labelled as not emotionally healthy enough to date]maybe a shy man has to get creative and realize he can't do it alone,utilize the help of co-workers,friends,family..I recently landed a date with a girl whom I have had a huge crush on and I didn't do it by asking her out point blank,I did it by realizing I needed other people's help to get it done.I viewed my weaknesses as objectively as I could and went through a friend.It worked for me. Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 That's awesome, Bruins!! I'm glad that you were able to have a date with her, man! Nice job on utilizing your resources! Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 That's awesome, Bruins!! I'm glad that you were able to have a date with her, man! Nice job on utilizing your resources! I am lucky in that I have quite a few female friends at my job.That's how I intend to meet women ,go through a ''matchmaker''. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Depending on where you live facebook can come in pretty handy.You can usually find someone that knows who you happen to be interested in. Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Depending on where you live facebook can come in pretty handy.You can usually find someone that knows who you happen to be interested in. Well, I hope all's going good for you with this girl, man. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I need a matchmaker that's what i need Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I need a matchmaker that's what i need Same here...Bruins, I'm still in that same situation from before! Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 overheard some women on the metro this afternoon talking about guys they had dated and dismissed because they weren't aggressive enough. These are guys that had asked them out, so even if you get to the stage of asking a chick out, you still have to be INCREDIBLY aggressive otherwise she'll lose interest and talk about what a * * * * * you are with her friends. Link to comment
Roberto34 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 overheard some women on the metro this afternoon talking about guys they had dated and dismissed because they weren't aggressive enough. These are guys that had asked them out, so even if you get to the stage of asking a chick out, you still have to be INCREDIBLY aggressive otherwise she'll lose interest and talk about what a * * * * * you are with her friends. Riiight...and if you were to pursue, you'd be the "jerk that can't take no for an answer/guy who can't take a hint..." Can't stand how women don't know what they want, yet expect us to know not only what we want, but also them. Enough is enough ladies, if you're into us, then don't be afraid to show it. It'll actually get us both somewhere. Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Riiight...and if you were to pursue, you'd be the "jerk that can't take no for an answer/guy who can't take a hint..." Can't stand how women don't know what they want, yet expect us to know not only what we want, but also them. Enough is enough ladies, if you're into us, then don't be afraid to show it. It'll actually get us both somewhere. No, this is not asking them out. You're better off just thinking "your loss" if a woman rejects you. I'm talking about while actually out on dates, you have to be very aggressive, and sexually aggressive otherwise they will think you are a wuss. For example, if she invites you over, you better make a move on her, otherwise she IS going to think you are a wuss. I've lost out multiple times because I thought it would be rude to make a move on her in her place, as I didn't want to potentially risk making her feel uncomfortable in her own place. That'sa type of thinking that will make you fail with women, you have to not care, and just do it, as very few guys get anywhere by being "nice" with women. If she invites you over, she's into you, then it's your job to step things up. If you don't, some other guy will. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Maybe some women think like that,but I wouldn't want to be involved with one who thought like that.If a woman can't understand that my shyness is real then she isn't the right one for me. Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Maybe some women think like that,but I wouldn't want to be involved with one who thought like that.If a woman can't understand that my shyness is real then she isn't the right one for me. It's cool you think that way, but the vast majority of women, even shy women, will find shyness repulsive. It reminds them of themselves, a girly trait, so they will not like you. Women love confidence in men, and shyness is the opposite of confidence, so you have to accept that the vast majority of women don't want you the way you currently are, hence why people work on their shyness to overcome it. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 It's cool you think that way, but the vast majority of women, even shy women, will find shyness repulsive. It reminds them of themselves, a girly trait, so they will not like you. Women love confidence in men, and shyness is the opposite of confidence, so you have to accept that the vast majority of women don't want you the way you currently are, hence why people work on their shyness to overcome it.I don't agree with that.Maybe the 20 something bar hopping crowd women might think that.I know many women who prefer shy guys.I am only looking for one women ,not the vast majority.Many women confuse arrogance for confidence. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 It's cool you think that way, but the vast majority of women, even shy women, will find shyness repulsive. It reminds them of themselves, a girly trait, so they will not like you. Women love confidence in men, and shyness is the opposite of confidence, so you have to accept that the vast majority of women don't want you the way you currently are, hence why people work on their shyness to overcome it.I don't think shy women will find shyness repulsive.I am a religious person who is looking for a spiritual/religious women.I think the kind of women I am trying to attract would be turned off by a cocky,overlyconfident guy. Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 I don't think shy women will find shyness repulsive.I am a religious person who is looking for a spiritual/religious women.I think the kind of women I am trying to attract would be turned off by a cocky,overlyconfident guy. They do because they are still women, and the vast, vast majority of women like confident men. It's like how even a 1000 lb guy would rather be with a 115 lbs woman than a 1000 lb woman. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 They do because they are still women, and the vast, vast majority of women like confident men. It's like how even a 1000 lb guy would rather be with a 115 lbs woman than a 1000 lb woman. Check out some of the responses in the thread,''do girls like shy or outgoing guys?'' Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 They do because they are still women, and the vast, vast majority of women like confident men. It's like how even a 1000 lb guy would rather be with a 115 lbs woman than a 1000 lb woman.Well,I disagree and I know you disagree with my viewpoint.Again what the vast majority prefer isn't relevant to me personally.Shyness is an obstacle in itself because shy men usually don't pursue women with the same vigor as an extroverted guy.If a quiet ,reserved man can somehow find the strength to pursue a woman and ask her out he has just as much a chance of success as a loud,cocky guy,all other things being considered equal.The shyness in itself[quiet,softspoken behaviour] isn't what prevents a shy man from getting the girl,it is usually from his own passivity ,he usually fails to ask a woman out and the opportunity passes him by.We could debate this argument until the cows come home and I am not about to.Nice chatting! Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 They do because they are still women, and the vast, vast majority of women like confident men. It's like how even a 1000 lb guy would rather be with a 115 lbs woman than a 1000 lb woman.Before I go what do you mean by that line,''a 1000lb guy would rather be with a 115lbs woman than a 1000lb woman''??? Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Check out some of the responses in the thread,''do girls like shy or outgoing guys?'' Internet message boards are not representative of the general public... Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Well,I disagree and I know you disagree with my viewpoint.Again what the vast majority prefer isn't relevant to me personally.Shyness is an obstacle in itself because shy men usually don't pursue women with the same vigor as an extroverted guy.If a quiet ,reserved man can somehow find the strength to pursue a woman and ask her out he has just as much a chance of success as a loud,cocky guy,all other things being considered equal.The shyness in itself[quiet,softspoken behaviour] isn't what prevents a shy man from getting the girl,it is usually from his own passivity ,he usually fails to ask a woman out and the opportunity passes him by.We could debate this argument until the cows come home and I am not about to.Nice chatting! But what you're doing is eliminating vast amounts of women from your dating field. You've narrowed it down to women that are religious and like shy men. That's not common. It's like when women only will date 6'4 millionairs with 6 pack abs but only work 15 hour weeks. It's not common. Link to comment
steve33 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Before I go what do you mean by that line,''a 1000lb guy would rather be with a 115lbs woman than a 1000lb woman''??? Even fat men want thin women. The same way shy women still want confident men. Confidence in men makes women feel "safe", plus they are more entertaining. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 For example, if she invites you over, you better make a move on her, otherwise she IS going to think you are a wuss. I've lost out multiple times because I thought it would be rude to make a move on her in her place, as I didn't want to potentially risk making her feel uncomfortable in her own place. Ouch. I can see myself falling into this same position (well, I used to, not anymore in my current situation) but I suppose it could go both ways and that the girl will find it rude; hey everyone's different. I suppose the point is to just be on your guard like you might be on dates; if you get enough go for it. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Internet message boards are not representative of the general public... Nor are your observations [or mine] of what we see happening in our daily lives. Link to comment
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