AzureSkyes69 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Yeah a very good idea to leave the mess to the ex's. I wouldn't have it anyother way. Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Lol Kleo love your recipe, lots of chefs in the kitchen hmmm???? Booze company Zomb, I'd be dead in a week. My liver is probably hanging by a thread right now ....... Link to comment
AzureSkyes69 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 lol...I am happy you liked the recipe..Sandy.. I would be dead as well I believe...(not sure about after a week though,but I would be a heading there) drinking day in and day out @ work..lol & doing any work...pfft don't think so..lol Man I would be dancing ..listening to music and having a great ol time for myself. Link to comment
desertnomad Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 hey Sandy I like your picture there Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 ohhhh yeah...me to Sandy. I think I'm going to allow myself to slow down a bit tonight, I think I am tired enough that the mind won't wonder. Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I think my pic sucks, webcam is crummy, I look 99 years old.... I'm not quite tho.... Link to comment
AzureSkyes69 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Hey NO self bashing here Your picture is very nice,I like it too. Link to comment
AzureSkyes69 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Your welcome Have a good night..I am going home. tty tomorrow. Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Kleo take care, soon...... Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Morning lovers. My head hurts from last night's drinking marathon... Then my colleague says to me "your ex was on a date last night" Like I wanted to hear that. Meh, won't let it ruin my perfectly good hangover though. Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Zomb: No don't let that ruin your day or your hangover, you are just fine, and this too will pass, she is missing out on you, someone special Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks hun, I needed that little boost. *hugs* Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Right back at ya, still feeling cruddy myself about my ex, so I hear ya.... Hugs Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Just getting ready to leave for work, so I'll be abusing work time once again by dropping in, about 1 hour from now.............. Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Well we'll speak to you then. Hope you have a good one. Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Morning folks~I'm so tired MJ keeps me up at night playing! Last night, she lost a toy mouse between my bed and the wall...at 1:45 am...well, I'm you can imagine...have I meanyioned how fat MJ is? lol Z~i'M SURE THAT WASN Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Whoops, how did that happen? Anyway as I was saying, Z, I am sure that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but hey, you have been doing a little dating yourself right? Besides, how's she going to wallow all around sorry for what she lost, if she has nothing to compare you to. Try to shake it off, nurse the head. lol Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Morning Lone, You're very right about her needing someone to compare me with however I shan't be getting my hopes up! I was the only boyfriend she's ever had that didn't treat her like crap, cheat on her and slap her around... Meh, her life. And have you got MJ on catnip?? Up that late playing... sounds like she was wired on something! Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Hello All, I hope everyone is doing OK today. I have yet another problem now. I’m not sure how to decipher how I’m feeling or what I should do. I can’t begin to tell you how “different” I feel, so unlike I normally am. (in a bad way that is) In my persistent mission to keep active, trying to achieve the goal of healing I had met a girl at a bar a few weeks ago. We had good conversation and it felt good to talk to a beautiful woman again. It had given me a well needed rush of self-esteem, something that was reaching critically low levels the past couple months. We exchanged numbers and spoke once and a while about many topics. Being an honest guy and emotionally unstable, I felt the need to explain my situation to her, the fact that technically I’m still married and in the process of a very painful separation that has rendered me mentally exhausted and lost. I was honest. I had to be. Needless to say, she had sympathy for me and grateful for my honesty. It was a relief to get that information off my chest and that she was OK with it. So she knew exactly what I was going through. We continued to talk and also went out a few times (i.e. movies, dinner). Last night, she called me again, like we have been. Not every night mind you. We were both doing nothing, and she asked if I wanted company. Of course I said yes. Being alone is still very difficult for me. Long story short, we ended up having sex. It was a surreal feeling, and after we were done, I didn’t feel very good. In fact, I felt horrible. I can’t understand why. Not only that, but it seems like she really likes me, and to be honest, I don’t feel the same – at least not in the way she is thinking. She even mentioned that she got me a Christmas gift, which I told her she shouldn’t have done… but it was nice of her. The thought of having to hurt her, by telling her where this was heading was not what I wanted is haunting me. The fact that we did sleep together, and that I have to tell her this makes me feel like one of those “guys” who call the day after saying it’s over, making it look like I just wanted one thing.. Maybe that’s the case??? I don’t know. I don’t want to be that guy. After she left, I broke down. For hours I cried. The fact that I was crying over it – and didn’t know why, made me cry even more. I was a mess. I couldn’t sleep all night and spent another night in my car. I feel like a crazy person, all different emotions going off in every direction. I wasn’t ready for this and I’m mad at myself for not taking control of my actions… I seem to hurt myself over and over and over again. I need you guys. Whats wrong with me, this doesn’t feel normal?? Is it? I feel like day one again. Thinking of my wife. Missing her. Thinking about what I have just done. The fact that I’m not better than my wife for doing this while we are still technically married. I feel like a piece of S***. Whats going on her, whats wrong with me…. Lost & Confused John Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Hey John, So sorry you're having a bad day - but as you know, what you're going through is 100% normal. Good for you on getting out there and meeting someone new, no, it will not work out in the long run but you were honest with her from the start. She knows where you are emotionally but that doesn't mean she doesn't want more from you. If I were you I'd leave it a day or two, think about exactly what you do and don't want from this new lady - and then tell her, honestly. Don't go all cliche on her but tell her you're not in a place emotionally in which you can engage in another relationship and you don't want to use her as a rebound. Let me give you some empathy big man, 3 weeks after splitting up with my ex I slept with an old FWB of mine - she knew what I was going through and said to me "the best way of getting over someone is by getting under someone else"... it sooooooo wasn't. The sex was dreadful and like you cried myself to sleep once she left my place. It felt like I was cheating on my ex! Dumb but natural I think. One's thing for sure, you need to stop sleeping in the car John. You need to find someplace else to live - somewhere that's not tainted by the ghost of your ex. You have any friends near by that you could stay with when you feel like you have to get out of your place? Anyone near that can help you go through the crappy process of finding somewhere else to live and put your place on the market? John, you've come so far - from the wreck that you (like I) was when you first posted on here. I see the huge improvement in you, I hope you do too my friend. And another thing, you're not lost, you've just misplaced the map for now and are running around in the dark but the sun's coming up dude you'll find your way again and you know it. Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Woo Hoo! Go Camber! Wonderful news on your new love interest. I'm sure you can reassure her of your intentions if they are true which they clearly are. Good for you. *high five* Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Zomb, Camber.. Thank you. Zomb what you said: So sorry you're having a bad day - but as you know, what you're going through is 100% normal. To be honest, I didnt know. Hearing you say it - helps more than you can imagine. To think, I thought it would be an event that would "Help Me" and speed the healing process.. Far from it , so it seems. Camber: Gratz to you on the NEW woman in your life. Its true what you both say, in that we have all come so far - thats not to assume we are close to being completely healed, we still will have many hurdles to jump. Its to be expected. You guys are such a help to me, so you know. Im greatful for the insight and good advice you provide me. Ill be posting often again for a while because of the condition Im in.. Its good to know I can lean on you. Love you guys. John Link to comment
beebee Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 dear sweet john... we all know how you feel... you have to understand that... i realize that this is a sticky situation for you but its not impossible to fix... you are feeling guilt i guess and youve answered my question about "buying another dog"... of course the answer was in front of me all along... i just refused to see... again dont beat yourself up about this... you were honest with the lady and that is the most important thing... you may have to reiterate your feelings about this with her again to make sure she truly understands your actions... i think maybe she felt she could turn you around, or maybe she was just offering you some part of herself to ease your pain... you wont know until you speak with her about it... i know you will be kind and thoughtful with her when you speak with her about it... she may be so open minded and turn into a good friend who can help you through all of this... who knows right?... there were many times when i was dating after my break up that i could have reached out to another for comfort with sex, but i just couldnt do it... i knew the consequences... i was afraid to trust again and i also was afraid i would hurt someone else, but i wanted the closeness badly!... strange dichotomy... i had written to you in a private message to go to your doctor and get on anti depressants... i can only reiterate this again... you initially wrote that you were on wellbutron but sometimes thats not enough... it can be coupled with another, stronger drug... also please seek therapy john... it wont hurt you and can only help... your pain brings me back and hurts like hell... your a sweet person and know that this does get better... the residual feelings of hurt are devestating, but times goes on and so do we... we must accept and move on... we have no other choice... thank God for our friends on enotalone... again, pain binds us together... weve all been there and are sympathetic... beebee Link to comment
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