Should I Leave While I Have The...........

[TIREDOFBS76]

 

 

I have been in a serious relationship with a woman which I adore and love for 6 months now. My problem is that I don't trust her because of the way she behaves. First, let me say I am not or have not been perfect, which no one is. She is an alcoholic that is very much in denial, she is insecure, she sets double standards, she is controlling and is an admitted(yesterday) flirting moneychaser that has cheated on her previous boyfriend. I know, that should be self explanitory of what choice to make but I love her. On the other hand I'm tired of being told that I am out of line and our problems are my fault. For some reason this has happened in two of my relationships in the last five years. Please someone give me some advice on what I should do..........................................

[Newo Ikkin]

Does she want to change?

 

First step is to help her admit she has a problem. Alchohol could well be the trigger for the latter issues - thereforeeee, attack the stem. Same old, same old, TALK TO HER. Not just about the way she acts in general, but why she does so and what she dislikes in herself enough to change. If you love her, this may be an ordeal you could find too hard to handle. If you're IN LOVE with her, its another story.

 

Regardless of her characteristics, she may feel (I hope) something completely different towards you than she ever has done with previous partners. I've cheated on a past partner, but would never consider it with my fiance. For now, the cheating and the dominating should be put aside, I would suggest.

 

Talk to her about the main issue before anything. Really put through that you care and you're concerned, and that the problem IS visible. She may be in denial because she doesnt understand that others can see it.

[DN]

This woman is very problematical and any relationship with her is likely to be toxic.

[heloladies21]

Even though she's not acting right, it's all a result of the way you act towards her. Think about it, if this keeps happening to you, then there must be a reason for the trend.

 

This is a typical reaction to a guy with a doormat personality, not willing to stick up for himself. Would have to know more details to tell exactly.

[vesper]

I find it very amusing that people here all the time admit their undying love for someone and that they adore them and then just go on to say that they love them having knowing all of these things about them before going into the relationship also. are you saying that you cant help you fall in love with?!?? but you can make a decision to move on and break-up with them if you know they are not a good match.

[TheRedQueen]

If you are truly tired of the B.S., I would suggest that you seek couseling in order for you to find out why you keep pursuing this same type of girl. The pattern won't cease to exist until you first recognize it as being a problem, and then are willing to actually change it.

[Daddy Bear]

twice in five years could just be a coincidence. here's a telling question: did you fall for her before or after you found out that she was untrustworthy?

[TheRedQueen]

twice in five years could just be a coincidence.

It's already happened twice before, I believe that this would be his third encounter with this kind of a relationship within the past five years, coincidence, I think not.

[Daddy Bear]

It's already happened twice before, I believe that this would be his third encounter with this kind of a relationship within the past five years, coincidence, I think not.

 

For some reason this has happened in two of my relationships in the last five years.

 

yes, Queenie, you are correct in believing that 2+1=3. as you can see, though, the OP didn't actually say "before", and i guess we just read it differently.

 

ah, well... life smells funny, and then you poop your pants and rot.