Hope75 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Hey There, I just want to say that I was in a similar situation about 8 years ago. I was breaking up with my abusive ex of 5 years and he threatened suicide too. Like you, I felt guilty and like I needed to 'save' him by staying with him. Guess what? He is an adult, just like you bf, and responsible for his own actions and if he really did attempt suicide that is on him, not you. My ex also had naked pics of me, and unfortunately he got them and hid them before I was able to retrieve them when I moved out. Yes, I found out later that he had shown them to all his friends, but I look at it this way: those were private pics of me taken when we were together and he disrespected himself by showing them off like cheap porn... I was 19 in the pics, I looked pretty good, and he ended up looking like a fool when his friends ogled what he had lost. (I found this out from a mutual friend about 6 months later). Drop this loser and don't let him manipulate you for another second. Link to comment
rmpavlock Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Good for you for blocking him! He was only doing it to keep you in his control and now you've taken that back. Stay strong! He's definitely not someone you want to stay with. Link to comment
Siriana Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Take it this way, he is making threats about commiting a suicide just because you're buying it. The same way my best friend was believing his ex he will do it. And I was constantly explaining to her: no, he will not kill himself, he talks about it for 5 months, if he wanted to do so, why wasting so much time on talking about it. And of course he was willing to kill himself only when she wanted to dump him, didn't call him etc. he was not willing to kill himself when he was with his friends, on football games, on his job. He was into suicide only when she wasn't available to him and was talking about it only to her. See the lovely pattern? Suicide was just patetic manipulation thing. He is manipulating you because you let him do so. I have never been in a situation where someone tried to threaten me with something. Why? Because people just sense that it isn't a good idea and that I find it patetic. You have to be strong and yourself - that way no one can humiliate you or force you to do something. So please tell him the following next time he tries the same pattern again: 1. I am so sorry that you decided to kill yourself. Since it is your decision I can do nothing about it. Link to comment
Fallout Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Even if he sends out those naked pics, why would that ruin your life? If you play it off noone will care and they'll blame him for doing it...everyone has seen naked pictures alot so it's not that bad...better than living your whole life blackmailed by someone now THAT would be humiliating Link to comment
snowgirl Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Did he take those naked photos while you were underage and he wasn't? There's some leverage for you. He could go to prison for even having those. Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 I was worried my ex would kill himself, but he's still alive, torturing the next victim he found to fill his void of emptyness. Rest assured, your ex will do the same. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 I agree with the other posts that suggest you dump him anyway. My Ex threatened that the would kill himself if I dumped him. I did it anyway. He is still alive, and never attempted anything that I am aware of. It was a form of manipulation and control that he tried with me but it didn't work. I hope the best for you and hope that you get rid of this guy soon if you haven't already. Link to comment
teddylove Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Hey, hatemyboyfriend....My ex bf used to do the same...everytime i wanted to leave...he would either say he's going to crash his car n die or swallow pills. Yes and threats of telling my parents,posting indecent pics on the internet..and so on. Cowards are the ones who love to threaten,they will never have the courage to actually do it. So dont listen to his emotinal blackmail! He;s only trying to scare u. Eventhough u maybe worried n scared inside,just dont show it to him. Once he knows ur not bothered,he will know he cant get to you. Then ur free. It worked for me...so i hope it does for you too. Stay strong! Link to comment
luvablyme Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Not so fast! Did YOU make him any false promises to begin with? Did YOU ever carelessly or unfairly manipulate him? It's so easy to call this guy a raving lunatic or stalker, but we don't know the whole story. Very often, people in relationships manipulate and deceive their partners until it's no longer useful to them and then want to discard them. Then they're surprised and judgmental when the discarded won't go quietly. Link to comment
EQD Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 my ex bf from three years ago did this too.. he's still alive. and he's still my ex. just leave them, its a control move but its very likely he doesnt mean it. Link to comment
anggrace Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Not so fast! Did YOU make him any false promises to begin with? Did YOU ever carelessly or unfairly manipulate him? It's so easy to call this guy a raving lunatic or stalker, but we don't know the whole story. Very often, people in relationships manipulate and deceive their partners until it's no longer useful to them and then want to discard them. Then they're surprised and judgmental when the discarded won't go quietly. If someone did all those things, Id see nothing wrong with not "leaving quietly". But threatening her if she leaves is something completely different. OP: I would tell him to threaten you again and record it. Or just Let him know how much trouble HE will be in if he threatens you again. Then file a report, before anything happens. Link to comment
gsxr104 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I would ask for a police officer to come to your address and make a report telling them what you mentioned here. Make your break with the officer there with you, preferably on speaker phone. Let the officer take the route of conversation from that point. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Not so fast! Did YOU make him any false promises to begin with? Did YOU ever carelessly or unfairly manipulate him? It's so easy to call this guy a raving lunatic or stalker, but we don't know the whole story. Very often, people in relationships manipulate and deceive their partners until it's no longer useful to them and then want to discard them. Then they're surprised and judgmental when the discarded won't go quietly. Someone who is threatening suicide needs help, period. Doesn't matter what the other person did or didn't do in the relationship. Breakups happen every day; it is respectful and sane to walk away from something that isn't working. Very old thread indeed! Link to comment
amure Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I'm 19 and he is 24. I know i should tell my parents but im just soooo embarrassed by this entire situation. I can't believe that i can't just get out of it myself, it is so unfair. If i try to cut off contact with him he sends me text messages and costs me a ton of money. He acts so obsessed with me. Like his world will end if i leave. He acts like an * * * * * * * and then when i say i want to never talk to him again he tries to suck up to me and stuff. And i can't just not care if he sends out those pictures of me. They would humiliate me and ruin my life. if he releases the pics, go to the police and they'l bust him/anyone who has them. Link to comment
Bella20 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 1) Get a lawyer for the pictures thing 2) Dump him. Who cares what he does? Then get a restraining order and block his # from your cell phone. Talk to your parents. Link to comment
spearntime Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Just tell him you'll call 911 andtell them he's going to kill himself if he's making threats, and they will throw him in the looney bin. If he wants to act like one, treat him like one. Link to comment
Gracelove Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Dump him! He won't kill himself. If he releases the pictures, that will suck, but at least you'll be free, and he'll be the one looking like an a**. I can't believe he's trying to force you to stay him, that's a notion. Link to comment
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