Daligal83 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I'm talking to my boyfriend online and we were talking about guys picking on girls when he likes her. He says "I pick on you constantly because I love hehe" Was this a hint that he's in love? If you haven't seen my previous posts, I've wanted to say it for awhile but we haven't done that yet. He told a friend a few weeks ago that it was too soon, but he acts like he's in love. I can't tell if that means he loves picking on me, or it meant because he loves me. aahh! Then he went on to say that what he really wants right now is to be alone in a ballroom together, listening to jazz music, all dressed up in a tux and a gown dancing together. So sweet So any thoughts? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 awwwww.....! sounds like he is getting close to saying the L word have fun, i'm sure it will come in time. he sounds like a great guy for you! Link to comment
Ms. Babydoll Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 yup I think that's a hint, I think he stopped because he realised it would be much better to say it to your face instead of online, hopefully he does! Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 The ballroom thing...So sweeeeeeeet! You lucky duck. I think it's definitely a hint, yes. I've heard of guys doing things like that to sort of ease themselves into saying it in all seriousness. I remember jokingly telling my ex that I hate him, to which he "jokingly" replied that yup, he loves me too. After that, it wasn't too long until he said it seriously. Hope you hear those words soon!!! Link to comment
MacGyverRI Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Da boy's in LOVE! Get a cutesy card (Shoebox Cards by Hallmark are great) to say the same to him, he may be waiting to see if it's mutual. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 If he stopped himself because he'd rather say it in person, why didn't he retype it then? He left me hanging! lol. The fact that just like three weeks ago he told our friend that it was too soon makes me worried that I'm just looking for what I want to see. Your replies are all very encouraging though Thank you. I think either way I'm going to say it when I see him next weekend, no point in holding it in! Link to comment
babypink61 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Cute! What the heck, I think you should just go ahead and tell him that you love him! Somebody has to say it first right?? I think guys have this thing with saying the L word first cuz they don't wanna seem too girly or something . . . my bf slipped when he was drunk!! lol Link to comment
Juliana Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Gawdalmighty, don't say it to him first! If he's nervous about saying it, he's not going to be ready to hear it from you! Just continue flirting and being sweet! It's been working so far.... He's testing himself to see if it feels true to say it. If you say it first, you'll blow it. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 Well going with that line of thought, wouldn't that keep him from saying it if he thinks I'm nervous about it? Someone has to take the leap. I'm not expecting him to say it back, and I'd tell him that. Don't get me wrong, I'd be so happy if he did but I'm not saying it just to hear it from him. Link to comment
Juliana Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Are you nervous about it? Look this is how it works: Person A: I love you! Person B: Oh, sh*t, now I have to say it back. I don't know if I'm ready. Saying it first is a huge mistake if you're a girl with a guy who is working his way up to saying it. You can demonstrate it, do everything to show him that he is the greatest guy in the world, in your opinion, but do not take the initiative to say it first...unless you want to be the one who always take responsibility for initiating intimacy in your relationship. It can backfire horrendously if he thinks you've said it first to twist his arm into saying it. I once said it in a joke to a guy I didn't actually even love, was just having fun dating, and it took me two weeks to peel this idiot down off the ceiling. Do not say it first. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 I have to disagree Juliana............I told my b/f that I loved him first. About 2 wks ago. But my words were sincere and I wasn't looking for a response. He replied with "I've felt that way for a long time." He still hasn't said I LOVE YOU, but I don't care-he shows me. When you say "I love you" for the first time you can't expect to hear anything in return. He is always the one initiating intimacy. And I havn't said it since, but we are even more intimate then before. Daligal83: I am happy for you! Love is the most amazing thing. I woke up this morning with his arms around me and thanked God for blessing me with this kind of love. Keith Sweat said it best "When you're in a relationship & its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." Link to comment
GottaLetItBurn Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I think he definatly has strong feelings. Sometimes there is a chance he might be confused, and just really really like you, but not in love. I have a feeling though this has potential. He might be falling for you. Definatly he has stong feelings for you. I joke with a girl and tease her, but not to much because I don't want to mess things up so she wont like me. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 michelleth-I agree with you. I don't think it matters who says it first. A girl saying it first does not mean the relationship is doomed. I asked my best friend about this and she said that she has always said it first with all of her boyfriends, and at the time they didn't say it back. Then later on they fell more in love with her than she was with them. I know he has strong feelings for me. We've been friends for years and have always really cared for each other and kinda had feelings for each other. We've both been burned in the past though. I think that's why he's scared. He told me that he's never been this happy/excited this late into a relationship before Link to comment
Juliana Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I don't doubt he has feelings. I believe what he says. And he also told a friend a few weeks ago that it was "too soon." Ahh...love's exciting! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 I hear what you're saying. If he is scared then saying it could scare him even more. That friend though is a best friend of both of ours and she insists that he is in love, but is just too scared to admit it. I think I have to say it anyway though...I feel like it's going to slip out and I'd rather that not happen over the phone or when I'm drunk or something haha. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I hear what you're saying. If he is scared then saying it could scare him even more. That friend though is a best friend of both of ours and she insists that he is in love, but is just too scared to admit it. I think I have to say it anyway though...I feel like it's going to slip out and I'd rather that not happen over the phone or when I'm drunk or something haha. I have to wonder about your communication with him if you are turning to outsiders to figure out how he feels about you. Sounds maybe a little immature? I think he does have feelings for you and it is just a matter of time but I would keep this private between the two of you. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 Our communication is fine, it's just that since one of my best friends is best friends with him too, she tells me all the cute things he says about me. She knew I was thinking of telling him that I love him, so she thought I should know that. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Our communication is fine, it's just that since one of my best friends is best friends with him too, she tells me all the cute things he says about me. She knew I was thinking of telling him that I love him, so she thought I should know that. I repeat - please keep this part of your relationship private if you want to keep it healthy and lasting, particularly since if you have a disagreement with him or are feeling insecure this same "best friend" may inadvertently or intentionally tell you all the not so cute remarks he has made. Tell her to stop telling you what he has said or didn't say - if you are secure in his feelings for you you don't need to hear it from others and you are risking trouble. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 OK, I see your point with the third party thing. I'll try to keep her out of it. Luckily we're all in different cities right now, so it's not a huge issue. I think I just wanted the validation beacuse we're apart and I miss him. He gives me the validation himself all the time, but the extra stuff was nice to hear. I'll just keep it to what he says though. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I think batya is just looking out for your best interest. Unfortunately, I've found myself in quite a few messes where there is a third party says this and that to the other, and then there is a big misunderstanding and awful words said. I would definitely just keep your relationship between you and your boyfriend, and if you need to vent, either come here, or talk to a girlfriend who does not know your boyfriend. stuff has an unfortuante habit of getting around, and twisted in a bad way. I know when I had a breakup with a boyfriend, and we had mutual friends, I would only say stuff around them that i would be ok with the ex knowing. Because I figured anything I said would find it's way back to him. not that you guys are breaking up, but a lot of misunderstandings happen that way.... Link to comment
Smile_83 Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I personally don't think it matters who says I love you first, just as long as the person saying I love you understands that the words may not be repeated to them at the same time. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 batya and annie-You are both right. I'm trying to keep that friend out of it in that way. I mean we still talk about it because she is one of my best friends and he's an important part of my life, but it's more like oh I miss him rather than, what is he saying about me. I have other friends I can go to when I want to discuss him in more detail, and they don't know him. Thanks for pointing this out! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now