3 month update - some hope for all the heartbroken

[tobetterdays]

hey all,

i figured i give back some positive vibes for some of you who have recently had your heartbroken by the one you love.

my message for you is simple:

it will get better.

 

the first month following my breakup was the worst month of my life. the pain was unbearable, i couldn't eat, sleep, and barely made it through each never-ending day. i thought about her every second of every minute of every day.

i was beyond depressed, my self esteem was shattered, and i felt that i would never be normal again--very similiar to how many of you feel right now..

 

around the 6 week mark i had sought of an epiphany in which i realized life is too short to waste ruminating over somebody who walked away from your loving arms. this was the time i forced myself out of the house, and went on a journey of self improvement.. i noticed myself gaining my appetite back, sleeping better, and just feeling normal physically.

 

since then, i've been dating, having fun, keeping busy, and doing anything i have to do to keep my mind off my ex. i realize that things happen for a reason.. i regained my self worth..i realize that there are a million other "fish in the sea".. i realized life is precious.. i realized i am a stronger, better man for getting through this...i realized that i am a great person and that it is her loss. i realized my mistakes, and learned valuable lessons from them. .

 

i feel better each passing day.. i do have my moments, but when i gauge how much better i feel today than at one month...there is no comparison..

so i am proof that it does get better..and i really didnt think it would.

 

i must stress the importance of NC..

NC will make you feel strong.. the longer you go NC, the stronger you feel.. the less you think about your ex..it is a battle, but each day is another victory.

 

anyway, i just wanted to give a little hope to some of you in bad places right now.. i've been there, and i wouldn't wish that pain and confusion on my worst enemy..but i just wanted to come here and say that is will get better...if you try.

 

to healing..

TBD

[Chibby33]

Thanks TOBETTERDAYS. I feel exactly like you right now. It's been a month and a few days since my fiance packed and left. For 3 weeks he was wishy-washy about the break-up. I finally said to myself that I am tired of waiting, wondering, and yes, hoping. So when I finally got my closure from him, I was surprised that I didn't cry. I wasn't as sad as I was the past weeks.

 

Bottom line when I received closure, recovery started to set in. I FEEL GREAT now!! And yes, keep NC going. Others may heal slower but the word is "healing." I still think about him, but that's just it: THINKING. Like the way you think about your old pair of shoes - absolutely no emotions attached. Amazing how months ago I couldnt breathe at all and was just hoping for the day I will live again. I guess it's like having your tooth pulled out - there's pain but it will heal.

[desertnomad]

Good to hear it TBD. You and I went through similiar stuff with 3.5 year relationships ending at around the same times. While my road to recovery here is still a struggle somedays, I agree with you it does get better. The appetite does come back and you can go out and have a few moments of fun and peace once in a while. While I think I could have learned the lessons I did some easier way it is an opportunity to become an even better person. Take Care.

[Massari]

again I am happy for both of you.. I have a question.. did you two started dating by any chance right aftre the breakup?? cause this is what I did with my first gf of 1 month.. she broke up with me. with no reason (maybe one me being clingy) I was devestated .. heart broken. lost a lot of weight.. started smoking drinking .. depression crying!! time for me was not the thing that helped me. dating around and spending time with friends really helped. me and now I am so happy. 4 months in a relationship with a woman madly in love with (alot of fights and arguments but who doesn't! ) this is the link to the break up. happened in april.

 

remember to all the broken hearts.. YOU WILL GET passed through this time.. and start dating around.

[GuitarmanIII]

Hey Tobetterdays, nice to hear from you. I'm glad you have been feeling better. I've been following your tale for a quite a while now.

 

Everyone tells me that it gets better, but I'm not even close! It's been a few weeks NC (4 perhaps), though the x has sent me a couple of emails and called (I didn't answer or read the emails). For some reason this past week I was not too bad. However, yesterday evening and this evening I've been bawling my eyes out...in private.

 

Though I've received closure, she has a BF now and I can't stop thinking about them, especially with Thanksgiving and the Holidays (remotely) around the corner. I hate her happiness and I'm torn with grief, remorse, jealousy etc...

...for some reason I've been able to maintain an appetite. I'm having a hard time with the fact that NC is about me and not her. I still think my future is a soulless desert without her! When will this end?????? Tick-tock

Another rant...

 

Thanks,

G

[rightfromthestart]

moving on.

[LONESOUL]

TBD~right with you on this...we are getting there! Good to hear from you

again!!

Lone

[rightfromthestart]

my 2 cents

 

as soon as i stopped focussing on myself - poor ol' me - why me? lol - and started focussing on 'life' around me - i felt better. because the old saying is true - 'its not just about you'.