Do we still have a chance?

[wonderinggirl87]

Here it is :

- going out for 3 1/2 yrs

- bf cheated once because too drunk at college

- he doesn't remember anything but knows for sure it happened

- love him very much

- he confessed right away

- this is totally not like him

- he feels really guilty

- I told him I was ready to give him a second chance (last one) because I love him so much.

 

Can we ever be like we were before? Can our relationship last and be healthy?

Please just give me your general opinion on this

[NJRon]

It depends on whether you are able to get past it or not. Broken trust takes a long time to heal.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Couple CAN overcome infidelity but it takes a lot of work from BOTH persons. He needs to work as hard as you. His side is regaining your trust and showing he is committed to you and you, letting go, forgiving and allowing him the chance to prove to you he is wants to be with you.

 

Good luck and take care.

[DN]

How long ago did the cheating happen?

[yeawutever]

It depends on what type of cheating it was (how far did it go). Was it something to put you at risk of STD's (involving sex)?? Also just like DN posted, depends on how long it happened??

[candy604]

yeah i hope he doesnt' ever get drunk again.

[wonderinggirl87]

He did it last week. He had sex with the other girl and got tested for STDs at my demand. Thanks everybody, I just needed to know there was hope. Things are better between us than I thought they would be although they are a little weird.

[Azual]

If you want my honest opinion... if he's blaming the drinking... tell him he needs to stop drinking.

I don't think drinking really has anything to do with it, but that's just my opinion

[yeawutever]

Then no more drinks for him ever again. Damn, how can some people be that forgetful and not know their body tolerance for drinks??

[Rm0812]

Then no more drinks for him ever again. Damn, how can some people be that forgetful and not know their body tolerance for drinks??

 

not knowing and not caring are 2 different things, some people drink just to get drunk, and they know very well what their tolerances are

[yeawutever]

Yea, looks like he doesn't really care about the commitment. I would know very well that if I were to exceed more than 4 drinks, then that's enough to start feeling the effects, that's when I would stop.

Often having a good time chilling is confuse with getting to the point of being wasted, now that's just pure stupidity. It's ok to drink once in a while, but not to get wasted on purpose, then blaming your actions b/c of the drinks.

[doyathink]

He did it last week. He had sex with the other girl and got tested for STDs at my demand. Thanks everybody, I just needed to know there was hope. Things are better between us than I thought they would be although they are a little weird.

 

But...i have heard that they can't test men for the HPV! How will you know if he has this?