I Deleted Her Number!!

[NCTuskie]

I finally did it. I hadn't erased her phone number from my phone book before hand, namely because there are few instances where I delete anybody from there.

 

But over the last two weeks, for some reason it has been staring at me in the face. I justified NOT deleting it because I wanted to know when she called so that I could ignore her. Or "just in case" I needed to call for some reason. I even told myself "why erase it, because you'll know who it is by the area code... she's one of three people in that area code who could be calling you" (I don't know her number by heart).

 

The other day I read something here (or maybe on another message board), that went like, "To be cruel is to be kind", and it talked about removing IM screen names, phone numbers, pictures, etc. Up until this point I had done all of that. As a matter of fact within 72 hours of the break up I boxed up everything of her's or our's- pictures, letters, clothing. I even erased her pictures and ringtones from my cell phone but not her number.

 

However, as I said before, for some reason her phone number had really bothered me, and I was afraid to delete it. The other day I erased it. I erased her number, her mother's, and her cousin. I felt like I really cut her loose.

 

After I erased it I realized that I wouldn't be able to call in October to wish her little girl a Happy Birthday. I was really close to her, and I even wanted to adopt her as my own if me and her mother got together. Eventually I just told myself that it was her mom who decided that she didn't want me to be part of her life or both of her girls lives. So maybe I should respect that.

[Meow18]

I think that the fact that you erased her number is a big step in the right direction! I think it will really help you to get over her.

[BellaDonna]

Good for you.

 

After I erased it I realized that I wouldn't be able to call in October to wish her little girl a Happy Birthday. I was really close to her, and I even wanted to adopt her as my own if me and her mother got together. Eventually I just told myself that it was her mom who decided that she didn't want me to be part of her life or both of her girls lives. So maybe I should respect that.

 

Your intentions of calling the child to wish her a happy birthday are very nice and thoughtful. However in the case of a child, it might actually make it harder for the child to come to terms with the break-up and could cause a lot confusion or false hope.

 

The good thing about kids is that they are resilient. I'm sure she will have a great birthday, so don't feel bad about not calling her. It's probably for the best in the long run. Some day when she is older, she will understand why you kept your distance.

 

I think deleting the ex's phone number was a big step in the right direction, and an important part of your healing process.

 

 

BellaDonna

[tobetterdays]

it is a major step indeed.

i did all of this a few weeks ago.. got rid of EVERYTHING that could possibly remind me of her. blocked all of her email addresses on my yahoo account, deleted of her phone numbers, her friends phone numbers...pictures, text messages, old emails, gifts..etc. stopped listening to music that made me think of her. it is a critical step towards healing. and it is part of NC.

 

1.NC

2. KEEP BUSY

3. REMOVE ALL TRIGGERS

4. KEEP BUSY

5. NC

.ETC

 

you catch my drift.

[LONESOUL]

it's a really hard first step, and a good one. You should be proud of yourself

for beginning the process of healing. Take good care.

[NCTuskie]

Thanks. Her little girl will be turning 2 this year. I do miss her, because I feel like I was the father she didn't (doesn't) have. But like I said before, her mom made the decision to keep me out of her life.

[ataurusguy]

Good job for deleting her number, my friend. It must have hurt, but it is a necessary step for you to get over her. It is also hard when you respect, appreciate and love others who were brought into your life through her, such as her child. A relationship is like a beautiful ornamental vase. Once it is shattered, it will never be as beautiful, no matter how carefully you try to glue it back together. I wish you a speedy recovery of the heart. Be well.

[blemished]

I agree, great job!!

 

I threw out/deleted most of my ex's things/contacts, etc. within the first 72 hours of break-up as well. Then, over the course of the next few months, I threw away small reminders I came accross...an old tee, his uniform (gave away to someone else who could use it, sold shoes on eBay), and finally, his business card, which had his work email and phone. Never did I want to hold onto anything that was tied to him...even though he dumped me (technically I dumped him first, but really I wanted to work on the relationship), once he wanted out, I wanted him OUT of my life altogether-- which includes any belongings or even thoughts that would remind me of his existence. A life without him is better than a life almost without him.

[PRSOV]

Hi there,

 

You completed a big step.

 

Congratulations.

 

You can move forward from here.

[vandgsmom]

Now that the last remnant of her is physically gone, you will know that you are TRULY getting over it all when you realize that you have passed several days without remembering that you even deleted the number...

 

Here is to looking forward to those days!! Congrats!

[shamus]

congrats man...keep up the good work