Feeling so alone...

[AzureSkyes69]

I have previous post here about this guy who is also a very good friend of mine.I had some confusing incidents with him that lead me to believe that he might have feelings for me (I have them for him)

I sent him a email (confessing my feelings) and for some reason he couldn't open it the email,so he called me and asked me about it

I was all tongue tied so I couldn't answer,we ended up meeting up.and he was still asking me what I wrote him,I still had trouble getting the nerve up to tell him..so he said "can I guess" and I said "sure'.he said " do u have feelings for me more than a friend?" I said "yes" then he told me he didn't feel the same way...but he loves me as a friend.But still I was crushed.

the last person I was with (more than friends) we had told 'I love you" to one another..but then she turned around and said later on that she only loves me as a friend. what the heck...?

I am so,so sad ,very down and extremley lonley mad & in pain. .every emotion.I feel like I have nobody...

[renaissancewoman101]

Gosh, I can totally relate to how you feel. I have had that happen to me a few times in my life and it is one of the most painful feelings to have, since it takes courage and guts to tell someone you are interested in them more than friends. And then when they reject you by telling you that they dont have the same feelings, it feels like someone stabbed you.

 

You going to stay friends with the guy?

[jazzgirrl]

Kleo -- that is so tough to deal with. I know how it feels to love someone, and not have them feel the same way in return. Take heart in the fact that now you know how he feels...and move on to someone who deserves your love! Good luck!

[AzureSkyes69]

I would like to still be his friend we have had a lot of fun wonderful times together and he means so much to me,he told me how much I mean to him as a friend and that touched me.

He was everything I wanted & still would want,I feel totally comfortable with him,etc...

I just feel like in a way I wish I had not told him because I would still have that dumb stupid fantasy and...hope.

[renaissancewoman101]

I know how it feels. It will be painful to be his friend but if you really care about him, stay his friend. Friendships are good and they last a long time, with care and cultivation. I have had this happen to me a few times in my and I have always endeavored to stay friends with them, sometimes even watching them fall in love with someone else. Everybody needs a good friend.

[AzureSkyes69]

yes he is a true friend I have to give him that and we have lots in common and we like to do alot of the same things.friends are my surogate family (and I love them dearly) since I do not have hardly any family and the ones that I do have I am not close to at all.

That will be the hardest part watching him fall in love with someone else and 1) wonder what's wrong with me.

2) wishing I was her.

[renaissancewoman101]

Yes, it is hard, it will feel like your heart is ripping out. But if you care about them and love them, you will stay by their side as a good friend.

 

It isnt easy but it boils down to how much you care about them as a friend and how loyal you are to them.

[dude69]

Atleast you let out what you wanted him to know. I have'nt read your previous posts so this is kinda just coming out from the top of my head. You seem to still be sad about your last relationship and well are you sure you really like this guy or do you seem him as someone to be with because you dont want to be alone ?

 

Time can heal all wounds physical or emotional, so maybe you should use this time to get intouch with your inner self again and learn to be independent. Everyone likes having someone to love them and someone to love but you shouldnt have to rely on someone for you to be happy.

 

I've been single for almost 2 months after a 2 year relationship, there is no girls in my life at all and sometimes when i get lonely i make sure that I know that when i least expect it someone will show up in my life.

 

I hope you the best and remember to keep hanging in there, it really is worth it, I promise.

 

Good luck

[AzureSkyes69]

Thank you all for your replies..I really apreciate it.

 

the below post is what lead me to believe he had feelings for me..(guess it was in my imagination after all)

wouldn't you think the same as I did,that feelings were indeed involved?

 

 

[dude69]

wow, why would he mess with your head like that... either he has some secret feelings hes not telling about or hes gay. I don't know but something is fishy there..

[AzureSkyes69]

I really do think deep inside he has feelings he is hiding..but I have no idea why he would have to lie..hmmm as far as being gay..don't think he would put moves on me in the first place...then again who knows.

anyhow I know I felt something from him..like he was really into me.

I am very confused wouldn't anyone be from that?

[quietgrl]

Yup!!!I can relate to your story.I have a male friend who i think is the right man for me but he doesn't think so which sucks.We're still friends but it's hard sometimes.

[RelaxByWater84]

I think everyone on this site can relate to your incident. I thought a guy liked me and I liked him but he didn't. It was hard but I got over it. Some guys are like that though.

[renaissancewoman101]

Men are hard to understand.

[quietgrl]

amen ladies amen.LOl

[dude69]

I really do think deep inside he has feelings he is hiding..but I have no idea why he would have to lie..hmmm as far as being gay..don't think he would put moves on me in the first place...then again who knows.

anyhow I know I felt something from him..like he was really into me.

I am very confused wouldn't anyone be from that?

 

Maybe you should bring it up when he least expects it. Go spend a day with him as friends, get his mind as far away possible from that night and then before you two go your own ways home, bring it up to his face. Ask him, "what was that whole night about when you treated me like if i was yours and kissed me as proof."

 

I know for a fact that i would never do that to a girl i didnt like. Maybe he is shy and well that night he was in the moment and maybe he got a bad vibe from you that made him think that you didnt like him. If he says it was nothing, then go up to him and kiss him again. it's a way of telling him, its ok to like me, because i like you. If he doesnt bite after the kiss.. then come back here and we will go from there

 

Good luck, i know you can do it !

 

Men are hard to understand.

 

Women are the hard ones to understand , men are easy.

[annie24]

ok, so I just went back and read your previous post. Umm... YEAH I would say he had feelings for you! kissed you on the neck, then the lips and slowdanced? sounds very romantic!

 

and now... "i only like you as a friend." I wonder what he does for his girlfriends!

 

yeah, this is kind of fishy. I do agree if you want a friendship, you should do ask dude69 said, ask him what was up with that, because I know that i certainly don't go around kissing people on the neck if I'm not into them.

 

so....

 

2 things pop into my mind: 1) he's gay or has gay tendencies and he was trying to see if he could "straighten out.' or 2) he was sort of interested in you, and made the moves on you, but he reflected on the experience and decided not to go down that path.

 

I wish I knew why.

 

anyways, I totally understand where you are coming from. i would be disappointed too. those are certainly some mixed messages! (and I am a person who doesn't even believe in mixed messages!)

 

Maybe ask him if he has any cute single friends he can set you up with then, if he isn't interested!

[now_better]

guys are definitely 1000x easier to understand. we're fairly blunt and easy to read, don't usually play mind-reader games.

 

anyways, i looked at your previous post and i wanted to know why you were crying because i think he felt sorry for you. he wanted you to feel beautiful like he thinks you are and that someday someone will appreciate you for who you are. i certainly wouldn't have kissed a friend of mine, but i might have done all the little things like dance to make her feel good. he wants you as a friend because you're very important to him, but i'm not sure i would venture down the path to getting rejected again. he knows how you feel and he's confident enough to act on it. i really don't think you should hurt yourself again.

[AzureSkyes69]

When he asked me about the initial email when I was on the phone with him he said "did we have sex and your pregnant,is that it?"

I said uhhh no..and then I giggled and he laughed.

Men are confusing..

but the funny part is they find us just as hard to figure out

 

 

I know for a fact that i would never do that to a girl i didnt like. Maybe he is shy and well that night he was in the moment and maybe he got a bad vibe from you that made him think that you didnt like him. If he says it was nothing, then go up to him and kiss him again. it's a way of telling him, its ok to like me, because i like you. If he doesnt bite after the kiss.. then come back here and we will go from there

dude69

 

Yes but he already told me he had no feelings other than friendship and the he loves me as a friend.so why should I presue it any further?

just let it go and believe him what he says..although I am not sure If I believe him fully..and that is confusing within itself.

 

and now... "i only like you as a friend." I wonder what he does for his girlfriends!

annie24

 

LOL..I wouldn't mind finding out than likley won't though.

 

anyways, i looked at your previous post and i wanted to know why you were crying because i think he felt sorry for you. he wanted you to feel beautiful like he thinks you are and that someday someone will appreciate you for who you are. i certainly wouldn't have kissed a friend of mine, but i might have done all the little things like dance to make her feel good. he wants you as a friend because you're very important to him, but i'm not sure i would venture down the path to getting rejected again. he knows how you feel and he's confident enough to act on it. i really don't think you should hurt yourself again.

now_better

 

well I agree I wouldn't kiss anyone I was not interested in either.I was crying because I was talking to him about thinkg that were not going so well in my life,maybe he did feel bad for me ..but I don't think he should have did what he did..that sort of lead me on to believe more than what was actually there .I myself would hug my friend but wouldn't do more than that.the entire time he was slow dancing with me he was trembling a little.

[AzureSkyes69]

When he asked me about the initial email when I was on the phone with him he said "did we have sex and your pregnant,is that it?"

I said uhhh no..and then I giggled and he laughed. strange dont ya think?..hmmmm

 

Men are hard to understand.renaissancewoman101

 

Men are confusing..

but the funny part is they find us just as hard to figure out

 

 

 

I know for a fact that i would never do that to a girl i didnt like. Maybe he is shy and well that night he was in the moment and maybe he got a bad vibe from you that made him think that you didnt like him. If he says it was nothing, then go up to him and kiss him again. it's a way of telling him, its ok to like me, because i like you. If he doesnt bite after the kiss.. then come back here and we will go from there..

 

Yes but he already told me he had no feelings other than friendship and the he loves me as a friend.so why should I presue it any further?

just let it go and believe him what he says..although I am not sure If I believe him fully..and that is confusing within itself.

 

and now... "i only like you as a friend." I wonder what he does for his girlfriends!annie24

 

I wouldn't mind finding out than likley won't though.

 

anyways, i looked at your previous post and i wanted to know why you were crying because i think he felt sorry for you. he wanted you to feel beautiful like he thinks you are and that someday someone will appreciate you for who you are. i certainly wouldn't have kissed a friend of mine, but i might have done all the little things like dance to make her feel good. he wants you as a friend because you're very important to him, but i'm not sure i would venture down the path to getting rejected again. he knows how you feel and he's confident enough to act on it. i really don't think you should hurt yourself again.now_better

 

well I agree I wouldn't kiss anyone I was not interested in either.I was crying because I was talking to him about thinkg that were not going so well in my life,maybe he did feel bad for me ..but I don't think he should have did what he did..that sort of lead me on to believe more than what was actually there .I myself would hug my friend but wouldn't do more than that.the entire time he was slow dancing with me he was trembling a little.

[dude69]

Even if he said he didnt have any feelings for you more then a friend i would still try to kiss him again if i were in your shoes. Guys dont always mean everything they say, especial if hes a shy type of guy when it comes to love & romance. He might just be telling you this to protect himself from a fear of being rejected. Any guy i know, if he wouldve kissed a girl, no matter how long they have been friends for, it would mean more then just a friendship. I think you should atleast steal one more kiss from him, dont ask him if you can get a kiss just take it. By you doing the move on him it might make him feel better and any bad thoughts that he might of had might just disapear.

 

If he still doesnt give in then you might have to move on.

 

Good luck with this, i hope you follow my advice.

[renaissancewoman101]

I would NOT advise making any more moves on the guy. Back off a bit. Stay friends with him but dont pressure him about anything else. If you pressure him, he will run and the friendship will be over.

 

If you want to keep the friendship, back off, maybe talk it out with him. Or just act as though nothing happened and stay friends with him. If he makes any more moves on you, dont respond and dont let him kiss you. He wants friendship, give it to him. Dont let him have anymore. He is being indecisive and if he makes a move on you and you give into him, it will put you in a really bad situation. I know that. I've been in your shoes before and sometimes I wish that things had turned out differently.

[dude69]

I would NOT advise making any more moves on the guy. Back off a bit. Stay friends with him but dont pressure him about anything else. If you pressure him, he will run and the friendship will be over.

 

If you want to keep the friendship, back off, maybe talk it out with him. Or just act as though nothing happened and stay friends with him. If he makes any more moves on you, dont respond and dont let him kiss you. He wants friendship, give it to him. Dont let him have anymore. He is being indecisive and if he makes a move on you and you give into him, it will put you in a really bad situation. I know that. I've been in your shoes before and sometimes I wish that things had turned out differently.

 

I agree with you renaissancewoman but what if hes a type of guy who wants to be 100% sure that she likes him. Actions are usualy stronger then words. I understand where your coming from but i dont think he is the type of guy who just wants to play with her head. I think he just isnt sure how she feels for him and a simple kiss can make all the difference. If he still doesnt come out of his shell after that then I would agree with just staying friends and if he tries to do any moves on then you pull away.

 

renaissancewoman, i know you have alot more experience then i do but everyone is different and there is always more then one way at looking at things.;-)

[annie24]

see - I also disagree - I think now that he said he only wants a friendship, she should take that at face value and not make any more moves.

 

if he really is so immature that he didn't tell her he liked her (if he really did), then this tells me that he may just be immature and not ready for a relationship in general, and would be a bad relationship partner. you need to be with someone who will be open and honest with you, not someone who is contstantly "testing" you.

 

just my opinion.