Am I The Only Male......?

[Donkey Spice]

Am I the only male that doesn't feel right about having sex with women that I hardly know? I've been out at bars watching my friends start making out with some girl that he's met an hour earlier, knowing they'll be at his place screwing in a few hours wondering why I don't feel comfortable doing the same thing. I don't know how many times I've taken steps to makes sure I don't end up in bed with some drunk party girl. Don't get me wrong, sex is fantastic. I love it. A female's body suits me just fine. But the one time I did have sex with a girl that I knew not too well, as soon as we were finished I was thinking, "What the hell was that? I don't even know you." I got dressed and scurried off.

Why has sex become so meaningless with so many? Sure we all have urges to act like a sexual beast and bust out the toys and chains but doesn't anyone love the spiritual connection sex provides (I'm speaking to the guys here I suppose)? Honestly, even as I type this, this seems corny, sex isn't worth it if I don't feel strongly towards the girl. There are fewer things better in life than having great, adventuresome sex with someone you love. I feel porn and high-tech lubricants were created to tide us over when we're between relationships. Maybe a sex-doll or two. Or even those rubber molds they have of porn stars. Or warmed up watermelons. Maybe the sleeve of your favorite jacket. Or maybe..........

[AwdreeHpburn]

Donkey - I doubt you are the only one. A RARE one to be sure, but definitely not the only one.

 

I think even the guys that do that regularly eventually want more too. Shallow meaningless sexual encounters have their benefits...but they're just that, shallow and meaningless.

[monkey1]

Nope, you're not the only one.

[coollady1957]

I agree, that you are NOT the only one. ,However, I do think they are alot more that are like your friends.

 

And good for you for thinking that way. It will pay off in the long run.

[whatsagirltodo]

You remind me EXACTLY of my boyfriend. Honestly, I thought it was weird at first because I just always thought of the average guy as wanting sex all the time and being able to sleep with a girl and have no feelings about it. I know that's a stereotype, but most guys I have known were like that. I couldn't believe my boyfriend when he told me he hadn't had a girlfriend for 2 years before me...and hadn't had sex during that time at all. He's told me that he would never even make-out with someone if he didn't have feelings for them. At first I didn't believe him, but now I know that he wasn't lying...

 

I guess it is rare, but it's good to know he's not the only one!!

[RelaxByWater84]

I have four older brothers and they never did that. And will never do that because they don't want me making out with a guy I don't know. The big men, as i like to call them, were setting an example for me.

[Daddy Bear]

casual sex and making love satisfy entirely different needs. i don't even bother to compare the two.

[chemica]

I am 21 and virgin and feel that sex should be between people who love or care for each other, and very much respect the spiritual aspect of sex. I had the chance, and am starting to realize that it was a huge mistake to wait for that relationship as people like me are viewed as an aberration by society. Unfortunately, if you don't engage in casual sex, I think you are basically doomed to singledom as most women find it a turn off.

[Dako]

The guys that flaunt their conquests are conspicuous. The guys with restraint aren't.

[Considerate Empath]

You're not alone! I feel the same way.

 

 

//C.E.

[Donkey Spice]

Whatsagirltodo, like you mention how your boyfriend went two years without sex, I've gone since February of '05. The last person that I had sex with I was engaged to. God, I miss her. I don't think that I'll ever stop loving her. Life's so damn weird. I used to be so open with girls and loved spending time with them. As far as I can see, my main purpose in life is to find that other person that completes me. Without her I feel like something is missing. I thought I had found her but as it turned out I guess I was wrong. Just these past two weeks I've asked a couple girls out for the first time since I was engaged. One I particularly like, but while we were out walking by the river that flows by the city in which I live, my stomach started knotting up. We were just walking and chatting, you know, getting to know each other. The pain I suffered from my last relationship entered my mind and I excused myself, found a restroom and puked my guts up.

You know that scene in Clockwork Orange where the main character is being conditioned to be sick when exposed to sex and violence? I feel like I've gone through that same classical conditioning. If I sit down and really think about getting close with this girl I end up puking. My subconscious is trying to protect me from more pain.

I've subscribed to more porn websites these past months than you'd believe. Gotta love relationships. Gotta love the bittersweet feeling of a lost love. GOTTA LOVE PORN!!

[yeawutever]

Though that's not in the majority category for guys, you're definitely not the only one.

[musicguy]

I'm like the poster. I just can't have sex with anyone, it has to be with someone that I know or in a relationship with

[yeawutever]

I'm like the poster. I just can't have sex with anyone, it has to be with someone that I know or in a relationship with

 

Yea, wish there were more people like that instead of those wild youths who comply to peer pressure and social expectations.

 

[dani_katze]

I can speak from my brother... he's like you. For him one night stand is meaningless. He also consider porn without any sense. He prefers to have sex with love. I've also watched guys that have casual sex just to avoid some kind of pain or other issues, like using drogs or alcohol.

 

And don't feel weird, there are more like you. I feel sometimes weirdo too, because now women also feel free to have one night stand, and they enjoy it. I tried, but I felt empty and craving for love. I really had bad time after that.

 

That's why now if I have to choose a guy to be my boyfriend, I'd choose a guy like you. I drop the others.

[zrx]

Your not the only one, I cannot imagine sleeping with someone I don't know or who I just met. I would feel terrible afterwards and used. There is no need to feel weird, people like us will cherish the moment we are in a loving relationship.

[shy_guy_3]

Nope your not the only one..I dont like the idea of sex with random ppl either...although im a virgin so what do i know? XD

[Nemo007]

You are definitely not the only one.

I like to get to know someone properly before anything happens.

I think it is more special that way.

[Massari]

nope you are not the only one!!!( probably read this a 1000 times already) but I was V until a week ago I have been going out with my GF for the past 2 months and we are madly in love. She was V also. we felt so close to eachother and that closeness is definitely priceless. don't get me wrong as my man said " the sex is great and a woman's body suits me great" but the other aspects of sex with someone you love is something I would cherish.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

My boyfriend does not "do" one night stands in principle.

 

"Sex for me has a lot to do with emotion".

 

I Love Him.

[Day_Walker]

I dont think you are the only one, I have met guys who like to know a girl before they get intimate. I dont think that anything is wrong with it if thats how you like to do it.

[Dako]

Sometimes women will complain about how rare it is to find a caring guy.

I disagree. Decent men aren't some aberration in a sea of bozos.

I think the bozos are the minority.