Hotest girl in the world?

[nottoogreen]

You are all very right...but I still stick by my opinion that the boy should not have told the girl his exes boobs were "better." He could have pointed out the differences without giving higher rank to his ex in that way. Who would like hearing that? It's not about lying... but of being truthful in a positive manner. haha.

 

Example:

 

Female says to boyfriend, do I look fat in this?

 

Should the boyfriend respond with a) Hell yes- you better skip lunch! or b) Actually, I think you'd look better in "___", i.e. point out something that you've noticed accentuates her positives rather than enhances the negatives.

 

Personally, I would never ask my boyfriend that anyways, lol, but if I did, I'd much rather get a gently honest and helpful "b" rather than a painfully honest and insulting "a" response.

Absolutely, he should be more polite and sensitive, he'll learn.

 

In fact it seems that we often are more sensitive to what we listened than to what we said.

[Scout]

Absolutely, he should be more polite and sensitive, he'll learn.

 

Yeah, especially when she dumps his #@! for saying such horrible things. She asked if his ex was hotter, not for a completely detailed comparison. He chose to say that, and only a fool - or worse - would ever tell his girlfriend such things.

[nottoogreen]

Yeah, especially when she dumps his #@! for saying such horrible things. She asked if his ex was hotter, not for a completely detailed comparison. He chose to say that, and only a fool - or worse - would ever tell his girlfriend such things.

Dunno about his thinking, he could try to dominate/down her. He was drinking ?

 

We analyze too much?

[basnik0]

It's just been my experience that when a guy is truly in love with you, they tend to think you are the most beautiful girl TO THEM... doesn't mean the most beautiful person in the world by any means, but when you love someone, somehow everything about them becomes beautiful.

I was talking to him and he asked me to find someone better looking or 'better' in any way than him. I

The weird thing is: I couldn't.

I honestly don't think about anyone as being 'better' than my bf.

Maybe that is what I expect from him: not to lie about it, but to feel like no one is better than me.

I know this is just 'being in love' thing – but isn't it the whole point?

[nottoogreen]

I was talking to him and he asked me to find someone better looking or ‘better’ in any way than him. I

OK, he has an over-ego attitude problem. His statement was meant negative towards you. He must respect you more.

 

Be cool, talk to him and see that he respects you. Never mind his looks if he does not have the brains and balls to back his looks up.

[serenity25]

I was talking to him and he asked me to find someone better looking or 'better' in any way than him. I

The weird thing is: I couldn't.

I honestly don't think about anyone as being 'better' than my bf.

Maybe that is what I expect from him: not to lie about it, but to feel like no one is better than me.

I know this is just 'being in love' thing – but isn't it the whole point?

 

Sweetie, in my opinion just from what you've said, he sounds like a jerk with an inflated ego. Only you know what your relationship is like, but you should feel special... and it doesn't really seem like you do.

 

I understand your point that you didn't want him to lie of course, but you have a right to make the decision that you don't want someone who sees other girls as "better" than you. You should be getting in return the respect and love you show to him. Maybe this is why his ex gf dumped him.

 

He also may just be trying to make you jealous by exaggerating his ex gf's greatness. Deep down he may actually be insecure if he feels the need to make you feel insecure about yourself. Even if she is a super model, he should WANT to make you feel like the most special girl in the world to him.

[mushroom1129]

I was talking to him and he asked me to find someone better looking or 'better' in any way than him. I

The weird thing is: I couldn't.

I honestly don't think about anyone as being 'better' than my bf.

Maybe that is what I expect from him: not to lie about it, but to feel like no one is better than me.

I know this is just 'being in love' thing – but isn't it the whole point?

 

i hope he felt extreme guilt, when/if you told him, that you couldn't find anyone better than him.

[DN]

All I can tell you is from my own experience. My wife and i are honest with each other because that way we know that we can trust what the other person says. Of course that needs to be said tactfully, or as tactfully as possible but make sure you aren't mistaking honesty for tactlessness.

 

When I tell my wife her new hairstyle looks great or she looks fabulous in an outfit she is really pleased because she knows that if I didn't like it I would say so - she gets the truth. She doesn't want me to look at her through some rose-coloured glasses so that she gets wrong information. She wants to know she looks good. Of course she looks good to me whatever she is wearing because I love her - but I am not so sentimentally attached that I can't see that she has flaws. And I don't want that from her either - that way of thinking will doom a relationship because it can't last - it just doesn't.

 

When you wake up with someone in the morning after thirty years of marriage you would have to work way too hard to maintain those sort of illusions. We don't want illusions - we want reality. And the reality is that we are not in perfect physical condition, we aren't going to be on the cover of People magazine and neither of us want to wear our glasses when looking in the mirror first thing in the morning.

 

We don't have, nor did we ever have, movie star looks. We are not, nor were we ever, 'hot'. But we didn't marry each other because of that - we married because we loved each other and we are still married for the same reason - despite, and in some cases, because of our flaws and lack of perfection.

 

If your boyfriend ever tells you he loves you and only you - believe him. Because, tactless as he is, he is a truth-teller.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Oh wow, doesn't he sound lovely?

 

Not.

 

I'd have serious doubts about continuing to be with him on basis of personality alone. Christ.

[mba1]

My bf and I are in a serous relationship for almost 2 years. He is everything I always wanted in a man and he makes me happy. The only thing that bugs me (and is probably relevant to my question) is that he's always looking at other girls wherever we go.

 

l'm not sure about anyone else, but as for myself - i have been known to kick a guy to the curb if he is remotely doing anything that resembles looking at another female in my presense.

 

and if it's a first date - the guy is out the DOOR!

no explanations, no excuses, no second chance!!!

 

ya'know why ???? bcuz it's DISRESPECTFUL plain and simple. if he's got an interest looking at other females then perhaps he would like to stroll on over and be with them. atleast that's my logic.

 

if your bf doesn't have enough sense not to gawk at other girls, especially when you're around then he has no sense at all !!!

 

painful to hear but in all honesty it's the truth...ask yourself this - what are you and specifically WHY would you wait around for when the more than off-chance opportunity comes along when his eyes happen to fall upon someone else he considers as hotter than yourself and he ends up trading you in for a better model???

 

ANSWER - you're gonna be in a world of hurt and wishing you dumped his * * * * * a long time ago ! trust me on this one~

[friscodj]

Yeah, but would you ever repeat this dude's words to your wife?

 

Honesty vs. tact. Let's also not confuse "tact" (or lack-thereof) with rudeness, classlessness, and shallowness.

 

What he said goes beyond tactlessness in my opinion...honest or not...

[nottoogreen]

I was talking to him and he asked me to find someone better looking or ‘better’ in any way than him. I

This statement by him bothered me. It may be defiance but he got quite an ego.

[basnik0]

Thanks so much to everyone for your answers.

 

I've calmed down a bit now.

 

I know it sounds like overreacting to leave just because of one remark.

 

When you wake up with someone in the morning after thirty years of marriage you would have to work way too hard to maintain those sort of illusions. We don't want illusions - we want reality. And the reality is that we are not in perfect physical condition, we aren't going to be on the cover of People magazine and neither of us want to wear our glasses when looking in the mirror first thing in the morning.

 

We don't have, nor did we ever have, movie star looks. We are not, nor were we ever, 'hot'. But we didn't marry each other because of that - we married because we loved each other and we are still married for the same reason - despite, and in some cases, because of our flaws and lack of perfection.

What you're saying makes a lot of sense.

I completely agree with the way you look at relationships.

Also, no doubt he's telling the truth.

 

So he loves me, he wants to be with me, and we are completely honest with each other. But since I'm not perfect, he should go around looking at other women who are. Looking for 'better parts'.

I think he just concentrates too much on appearances. If how you look is not important, how come that he never misses to check out a woman that passes by?

 

Also, I am not always so sensitive to the truth.

I don't mind being told that I put on weight or that my hair looks awful. Those things can be fixed.

But some things can't be fixed and if he's going to spend a lifetime looking for those qualities in other women…

That would make my life miserable.

And that is the reason I'm considering ending the relationship.

 

If your boyfriend ever tells you he loves you and only you - believe him. Because, tactless as he is, he is a truth-teller.

He does tell me he loves me and only me. And I love him. I just always thought that a good relationship should not hurt this much. If it hurts, something must be wrong?

[basnik0]

This statement by him bothered me. It may be defiance but he got quite an ego.

He meant that there ARE people better than him.

He just wanted to show me that it was not a big deal to find someone 'better' and thought, if I experienced that myself, I'd be able to understand what he meant.

[nottoogreen]

He meant that there ARE people better than him.

He just wanted to show me that it was not a big deal to find someone ‘better’ and thought, if I experienced that myself, I’d be able to understand what he meant.

 

The context didn't make that clear, I read it the wrong way around, sorry.

 

I was talking to him and he asked me to find someone better looking or ‘better’ in any way than him. I

The weird thing is: I couldn’t.

I honestly don’t think about anyone as being ‘better’ than my bf.

Maybe that is what I expect from him: not to lie about it, but to feel like no one is better than me.

I know this is just ‘being in love’ thing – but isn’t it the whole point?

 

Communicate more, Be happy and good luck.

[stacy2211]

I think you have a right to be concerned. I dated someone for awhile who was guilty of "staring" at other women as well, especially when we went out to bars. (He told me he was a "peogple watcher," lol ) What really killed me is that many of these girls were far less attractive than me, talk about killing your self-esteem! Honestly,that could give me enough reason to dump a guy. (I t could show disrespect, lack of committment, bad manners, lack of control, etc...)

He never should have made any positive comments about his ex, that was rude. Anways, about the staring, I think if a man does this blatantly (not just a glance) you should not tolerate it. He has too much control over you. You need to turn the tables. Check out this website link removed (if you really want to keep him and play the game)

[mba1]

Well said Stacy !!!

 

"people watcher" - gawd.... give me freakin a break!

 

i must say...some of these guys are really something w/their justifications - make you wonder if it's a situation in which they think you're the one who is stupid or if they are stupid - i'm voting for he latter. LOL

[basnik0]

(He told me he was a "peogple watcher," lol ) What really killed me is that many of these girls were far less attractive than me, talk about killing your self-esteem!)

OMG, he told me the same thing!

Was it the same guy?

Or maybe it's a popular excuse.

 

He also told me he was a "people watcher," he told me he was looking at men as well as women. Yeah, right! You should see him!

 

My problem is, if I tell him not to do it when he is with me or if I tell him not to mention his ex's qualities, that would be an invitation to lie.

I would never know what's in his head.

 

Should I just accept he is interested is some way in other women? Most men are, anyway…

I just hate that so much ](*,)

[friscodj]

My problem is, if I tell him not to do it when he is with me or if I tell him not to mention his ex's qualities, that would be an invitation to lie.

I would never know what's in his head.

 

You're missing the bigger point here. Ever hear of the expression "Actions speak louder than words"? I bet if you become more attentive and observant of his actions especially towards other people, you will see who he really is. That is key...

[basnik0]

You're missing the bigger point here. Ever hear of the expression "Actions speak louder than words"? I bet if you become more attentive and observant of his actions especially towards other people, you will see who he really is. That is key...

Sorry, I didn't quite understand what you meant here.

 

Did you mean behaviour towards other women or people in general?

 

Are you talking about finding out what sort of a person he is, overall, without concentrating too much on this particular aspect?

[friscodj]

Are you talking about finding out what sort of a person he is, overall, without concentrating too much on this particular aspect?

 

Yep. Watch how he treats everyone else and you. This is how you really tell what someone's made of...

[basnik0]

Yep. Watch how he treats everyone else and you. This is how you really tell what someone's made of...

Well, I think I know what kind of person he really is. That's how I fall in love with him in the first place.

 

I just get so uncomfortable with him admiring other women's bodies, especially if he finds them 'better' than mine. I suppose this incident just helped those feelings to come to surface.

 

Do you think I'm overreacting?

Am I expecting impossible?

 

P.S. And thanks for helping me to figure things out. I really appreciate it.

[friscodj]

Do you think I'm overreacting?

Am I expecting impossible?

 

Of course you aren't expecting too much! Like I said, I'm shocked he said this to you. Any decent guy with a brain cell would not have said this to you...

 

Are you over reacting? Depends. Are you over reacting to the fact you don't think you have a "better" body or to the fact he doesn't think so?

 

I think you are giving him too much credit. Usually in the beginning of relationships, people "cover up" who they really are because they are trying to "get" you. You end up falling in love with this image of the person and later when the facades come down, the love you have for the image clouds your judgment and generates excuses for what you're seeing now in this person. Maybe you're in denial, or maybe this isn't the case with him. I'm just giving you some food for thought...and this may be the tip of the iceberg here...

[basnik0]

Are you over reacting? Depends. Are you over reacting to the fact you don't think you have a "better" body or to the fact he doesn't think so?

If I can say this without sounding vane and arrogant, I know I am attractive, I know men usually find me really 'hot' and I know I have a sexy body.

What bothers me is definitely what he thinks.

What bothers me is his ability to compare a woman he loves with anyone else like that (bit by bit). Is that a male thing? Maybe all men do that, I don't know.

I know I could never compare a person I love like that.

 

I think you are giving him too much credit. Usually in the beginning of relationships, people "cover up" who they really are because they are trying to "get" you. You end up falling in love with this image of the person and later when the facades come down, the love you have for the image clouds your judgment and generates excuses for what you're seeing now in this person. Maybe you're in denial, or maybe this isn't the case with him. I'm just giving you some food for thought...and this may be the tip of the iceberg here...

Definitely something worth thinking about.

 

My friend says men will always look at women and will always find someone else more attractive. Is that true?

[friscodj]

If I can say this without sounding vane and arrogant, I know I am attractive, I know men usually find me really ‘hot’ and I know I have a sexy body.

What bothers me is definitely what he thinks.

What bothers me is his ability to compare a woman he loves with anyone else like that (bit by bit). Is that a male thing? Maybe all men do that, I don’t know.

I know I could never compare a person I love like that.

 

Definitely something worth thinking about.

 

My friend says men will always look at women and will always find someone else more attractive. Is that true?

 

So if all these guys think you're sexy, why are you with one who doesn't think you're as good as his ex! It sounds to me like you are popular with the guys...so it's high time you ditch this loser who is wrapped up in his ex, is shallow, classless, and rude, and find someone who isn't...because they most definitely do exist...

 

I think your guy friends are shallow and/or immature too! Men don't "always" do that, they themselves might always do that. Mature love takes into account the whole person. And loving someone like this makes the person look even more beautiful on the outside too. What they see in daily life in passing is only getting the testosterone flowing...love is more than that...

 

This guy of yours and his buddies don't know what love is I think and they are poisoning your mind with their immature beliefs. That's why I say and I will say it again, this guy is not for you...