stacy2211

I don't know, I would think if she was willing to meet you out, she still has feelings and is hoping you beg her to take you back. Especially if you caused the break-up and/or hurt her. Why do closure in person? You can still do that over the phone.

I made a lot of mistakes... I had way too high expectations when I was dating someone for just about two months and pretty much runied it by communicating those expectations is a criticial manner and saying it was not working out. (In hindsight, I was really attracted to him and just expected too much). I tried to fix it several times and just annoyed him even further. I showed up a few times at a bar we both frequent and his response was to put his arm around some other girl who was clearly a big downgrade from me (he made it obvious he talked to her about me in a negative light as she kept looking back at me with a smile) I left right away (I was very hurt) and then two weeks ago, I ran into him again. He looked really guilty and looked at me like he was embarrassed. I pretty much ignored him when he caught my eye and turned my back away from him. He also looked at me nervously like I was going to talk bad about him with my friends but I took the high road and just acted like he wasnt there. (I also wanted him to know that him putting his arm around another woman wouldn't disuade me from going out to the same place). For the last week though, I have decided to no longer go to the same bars we both frequented and to never call him again. I have also started going on other dates. This is of course to help me get over him but I also wanted to know if there is ANY chance this guy might miss me and have second thoughts about us. I really screwed up with him big time and want another chance if it is possible.

Why did she decide to break up with you? Im not sure if this is a similar experience but I told my date after a few months I did not want to see him anymore, mainly because I thought he was not making enough time for me. (I said it in a very unpleasnat manner). Sure enough, he took it seriously and it only took me one day to realize I was being too hard on him for being in the beginning stages of dating. I tired to apologize the next day by calling, and then left him two messages the follwing two Thursdays to try to get him to hang out (I didnt want to dwell on the past). After he did not respond for the thrid time, I saw him out and told him I was sorry for over-reacting, although he still ignored me. The last week when I saw him out, he was with another woman and even flaunted her in my face after I tried to make things right. It was a very humiliating experience. The bottom line though is that I only tried to "break up" because I liked him so much and felt like he wasn't making me a priority (although now I realize my expectations were way too high for the stage of our relationship and I scared him away). I am completely heartbroken that he has blown me off and ignored me after I tried hard to get him back and make things right. He's done such a good job of it that I feel like he never even liked me o begin with, he's so cold to me now. If your girlfriend broke up over a reason because she liked you a lot (or realized very soon her mistake) maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt?

No, we didn't have sex.

I dated a guy for about a month and a half. He was naturally a little committment shy and I made the mistake of having too high expectations for such a new relationship (demanded more time from him and acted insecure) and told him it wouldn't work out. I tried unsucessfully twice to call him to apologize and when I saw him out, tried to invite him out. None of it worked and Im afriad I made a pest of myself. I also made the mistake of showing up out on Fridays to the bars we usually would frequent. (I normally would go to these anyways but now I see how he could take it be that I purposely showed up expecting him to be there). The last few times I went out, I had a lot of guy friends with me (to make myself feel better) and he had a girl with him (although she did not look like his type at all and was much less attractive which made me feel somewhat good). Anways, he obviously told her about me as she kept looking back with a smirk on her face. I accidentally got caught glancing at him and then he puts his arms around her waist for an entended amount of time (she looked back at me to make sure I noticed!) (I am assuming he did this to get me to back off, not to get me jealous). I was completely mortified and hurt and waited about 10 minutes and then left. I also assume she told him I left because of this although I was planning on leaving anyways. My firends insisted on going back to our fav bar last Friday (where he sometimes goes) and I was there reluctantly with my girlfriends and he walked in with his male friends). I looked up to order a drink and he was accross the bar staring up at me with a very long look of remorse on his face, like he felt bad for hurting me. I ignored his look and stared the other way. He and his friends stood somewhat near us and I tried to engage in conversation with a friend to pretend he wasn't there. I could yell he looked petrified though that I was maybe talking about him, although I wasn't. He then went and stood by the the band by himself (about 10 feet from me) and I quickly looked for a bar stool so I could sit the other way and not have to face him). The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was there because of him, in fact, I was kind of glad I showed up to show that his affections with the other girl did not prevent me form going. A few minutes later, he and his friends were gone. Anways,that was the last time we had "contact." I have decided for my own benefit now that I will no longer go to my favorite bars on the weekends so I can avoid him completely. (We have been apart now for about a month and I have chased him three times (twice calling, once inviting him out in person, and showing up at bars where we both go). He has not called me once during this time, I should have taken the hint but it took him throwing another girl in my face to finally get the hint. My question is, is there any possible way in the future he may start to miss me or want to give me another chance after all of this? I am now "moving on" and going on other dates but still hold a candle for him!

Like the others said, it really depends on many variables. It all comes down to trust though. If she is extremely flirtatious with her male friends or does not introduce you to them, that might give me cause for concern. I actually have a lot of male friends because I made them through a few relationships with guys that did not work out (and still hang with an ex but only in group situations). I mainly hang out with them when I go to concerts or bars and/ or possibly don't have my female buddies to go with. Also, I am picky about friendships with girls because I am not always interested in talking about typical female topics (clothes, make-up, dysfunctional relationships, etc..) I have to say though, a guy I dated had a lot of female friends and he was flirtatious and playful with them- that was his personality. It bothered me though in part because he was not looking for a complete committment with me and these factors together made me feel insecure and jealous. I couldn't tolerate it and had to end it. However, if he was looking for a serious relationship and kept his female friendships to group situations (with me included) it wouldn;t be a problem. So, I think it all depends...

I think you have a right to be concerned. I dated someone for awhile who was guilty of "staring" at other women as well, especially when we went out to bars. (He told me he was a "peogple watcher," lol ) What really killed me is that many of these girls were far less attractive than me, talk about killing your self-esteem! Honestly,that could give me enough reason to dump a guy. (I t could show disrespect, lack of committment, bad manners, lack of control, etc...) He never should have made any positive comments about his ex, that was rude. Anways, about the staring, I think if a man does this blatantly (not just a glance) you should not tolerate it. He has too much control over you. You need to turn the tables. Check out this website link removed (if you really want to keep him and play the game)

I also like to think that it really doesnt matter how you are perceived by your ex. If (and I mean only if) that person no longer has feelings, how you come accross really won't matter to them. It's best to look after yourself.

Wow, I can certainly relate to this situation and weighed the same exact questions you posed. I go to the same bar every Thursday usually (where I happened to meet a guy I am no longer seeing). Just recently, I was deciding whether to even show up knowing he would be there (and flirting with another girl he may be seeing). I decided to go because that was my normal routine and I wasn't going to let him dictate it. I tried the "cool" act, the "confident" act and the "flirtatious" act with my male buddies, and finally, the real act which was displayed on my face when his new girlfriend turned around to see if I saw his arms around her. For that brief moment, what was displayed on my face was utter sadness, despair, disapointment, and embarrassment. (this girl didn't hold half a candle to me and yet he was with her instead of me) All I could do was walk away. In the grand scheme of things, all that matters is getting over your heartbreak in the best way that you can. If it takes leaving the situation (and you can) then by all means do it. It's a win-win situation, you'll find it easier to get over him and he might, just might, realize what he's missing... but it will be too late when he does..

It seemed to me that he was trying to make me jealous but then I think to myself, if he was interested, he would have called me back when I tried to get back in touch with him. What makes he think he was is that the girl he was "with" kept looking back at me to see if I saw them and then would whisper to him. He obviously wanted me to see. I did leave shortly afterwards though. Does that at least look like I wasn;t going to sit there and take it his games? I was actually leaving anyways... Believe it or not, I over-reacted because on our last date, I thought he glanced too long at a girl when we were out, lol. I basically told him I didnt want to see him anymore. (I acted psycho) It was like our fifth or sixth date. Then I tried a few times to apologize but he didn;pt want to hear it.

OK, I was dating someone for a bit and after I over-reacted with him one night, we were pretty much done. I saw him out last week (after trying to call him to apologize, etc..) and since he didn't call me back, I started flirting with guys in front of him to make myself feel better since I felt rejected. He looked like he was pissed and walked away from where I was. At the end of the night, I tried to talk to him once more to see if he wanted to go out and he pretty much ignored me. I got the hint. Anyways, tonight, there was a band playing that he knows I always go to see (stating to me before that he hates the band). He showed up with some girls and a few of his guy friends. I made sure I stayed away from him and for the most part, had my back turned away to avoid contact. (I wanted to make sure that he understood I got the point he did not want to talk to me). This was an outdoor event and the only reason people go inside the bar is to maybe order a different drink not available outside. Anways, when I walked out of the restroom inside the bar, two fo his friends were standing against the wall staring at me (they had no purpose being inside). I honestly felt like the guy I am talking about had his friends go in there to check on me, why I don't know. I ignored them though and went back outside. When I went back to my group, his friends came back out and went over to talk to him. At this point, I was facing the stage far behind them. They all turned around and looked at me and were obviously talking about me. I tried to ignore it and then the guy went out of his way to put his arms around this girl (like he was embracing her from behind) and she kept turning around to let him know that I obviously saw. (I almost felt like it was set up or something because she was so unattractive, I couldn;t see how he would be interested in her). Nonetheless, it upset me and I felt like he was making a point to tell me to leave him alone or something, even though I did nothing at this point to make him think I was interested anymore (in fact, I was with my male buddies having a good time). I left shortly after since the band was finishing up their songs but it probably looked like I was upset, although that was not the reason I left. I just wanted some insight why he was purposely doing this...