Wow, I Feel Like I'm Dreaming!

[andrew05151]

I want to thank everyone here who gave me advice, comfort, and PMs. If I can repay you in any way, I will.

 

After 5 days of NC, 5 days of being broke up...I got home from hanging out in the city, which is what I've been doing to pass the time, to find her screen name on my away message status. I couldn't believe it, my heart started pumping. She'd left me a message! I swear to god, my vision honestly blurred.

 

I went to read it, and it said that she was sorry about how things turned out, and she didn't want the last thing that was said to be the last thing that was said.

 

I took this opportunity to talk to her. Her profile was different, she had removed the crap about the other guy. It appeared she'd broken him off.

 

So, I talked to her. I know I was supposed to keep NC, but she broke it and this seemed like a golden opportunity. After feeling like she didn't care...I didn't want to tempt it by ignoring her.

 

So, I asked her what she meant, exactly. And she started typing away about how she is sorry and she misses me. So, I asked her why she misses me, when she has the other guy, who as she said "makes me feel good."

 

She said that she has a good time with him, but he's not me. He doesn't do the stupid little things that I do that make her smile. And, when she gets back home...all she can do is cry. She said that everything reminds her of me, and that it hurts her so much to be away from me.

 

I told her "You said you needed time."

 

And she told "I had my time."

 

"Maybe now, _I_ need time."

 

"You can have all the time you want."

 

Turns out I didn't need much time at all; I asked her if she wanted me to come over and see her right now. I thought that was the best idea, because she was crying so much and I wanted to hold her.

 

So, I went over there...and she hugged me tight, and she kissed me, and I held her...and kissed her. And, explained to her how hurt I was by all of this...and she explained how badly she was hurt by my away messages, that I was doing stuff without her. In the end, I did take her back.

 

I hope I wasn't too easy...but I told her that if this ever happens again...then I'll certainly be gone for good. I told her I learn from my mistakes, and things will be different now. I told her I understand her better now, and I know what she needs emotionally. She needs me to stay positive, to counteract when she becomes negative...to make her feel good. I told her that she also has to learn from her mistakes, and thereforeeee I won't tolerate another little self discovery journey.

 

She promised it wouldn't happen again, she said she knows it's me that she loves.

 

I took her up to her bedroom, and layed with her in my arms for a while, until she was drifting off to sleep. I had gotten her this stuffed animal penguin the Christmas before last, as penguins are her favorite animal. She had expressed how seeing it would make her cry every time...I took note to her action as I was leaving her room. She'd grabbed the penguin, and was squeezing it close to herself. Perhaps I read too far into things, but I saw symbolic meaning in that action.

 

And, that's where things are now. Today, when she wakes up...I assume she will be talking to me. I think I will try to take her out to get ice cream on the lake, to watch the sunset. Then, maybe go back to my place, or her's...to lay together and watch TV...and just be together. That's what I want.

 

But, I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll lose everything again. She assured me that that won't happen...but I'm terrified that it will.

 

Also, this guy will probably try to talk her into him. I can't prohibit she talk to him, as that's way too controlling. However, it makes me uncomfortable.

 

But, whatever. All that matters to me is her. Having her with me. And, it certainly appears that I am gaining that. I'm happy...but the happiness is scary...because I know now that it can disappear in an instant.

[DN]

Good luck to you - I hope it turns out well. Do all that is necessary to make the relationship work but at the same time guard your heart.

 

One thing I am not clear about - has she actually broken up with this other guy?

[PRSOV]

Wow, amazing story... I love hearing about people getting back together in cute ways like that!

 

I wish you guys the best of luck for the future to come!

[pablovblack]

Yeah good for you man!, Keep on your toes, you know you dont want to be back where you was yesterday.... ouch!! Just dont let her walk all over you ....

[Orlander]

Good call, NC. "Guard your heart!" True words, my friend. Take it slow and be prepard, at ANYTIME, for her to leave again. Just take it slow.

 

 

Orlander

[andrew05151]

Thank you. I know that it can happen at any time...it's terrifying. I will guard my heart, but I will be careful that I do not let that guard hold our relationship back. I'm so happy right now, it really is scaring me. I keep thinking of the future, we were supposed to move in together in Sept. I'm really hoping that happens.

 

And to answer the above question about if she broke up with the other guy. I guess the answer is yes. They were never "officially" together...I'm assuming they were kissing, though...I guess I won't ask her about it. I don't want to seem weird or insecure or too curious or whatever...I just want to go forward and kind of pretend this never happened. But, at the same time...her sharing with me what it was that they shared together may help me in the long run.

 

But, I guess she did "dump him" ... their info's have suddenly lost the stupid "cute" crap...and his away messages have depressed lyrics in them. She told me she told him that she loved me...

 

It's 10am..and she's still on her sleep away. She's almost always awake by now...so I haven't been able to have her talk to me yet today. I'll update here with how things go...

[permasmile]

Congrats! I'm thrilled to see you have found happiness again.

 

My only advice is to continue to look for things that make you happy outside of your life than her. Also, do not simply jump into it headfirst again. You do not want to appear too needy, and it is best if you make her "chase" you in a sense for a bit. I imagine right now all you want to do is talk to her, see her, hold her etc. However, I don't think it is a good idea for her to think she can simply have everything back so easily. Make sure she knows that you are a catch and that being with you isn't simply automatic.

[Johnathan]

I'm jealous.

[iwillsurvive]

Good for you andrew05151, it is always nice when 2 people can come back to each other and be sincere,up front w/ there feelings, honest, no games,manipulative tactics, or any of the sort. Congrats, and I hope things work out for you.

[iceman85]

congrtas andrew im so glad that you were able to get back with your ex. I hope that everything works out and that you two are able to be together without and of the problems from before. Be cautious though and whatever you do do not hold a grudge against her. Just be that loving caring person you are but make sure you dont get hurt again. Best of luck.

[mikeca]

Another success story maybe people will stay true to NC because of this.