Going Insane!

[monkey1]

HAHA, MacGyverRI that's funny. I have used a few of those terms and their definitions are pretty right on, well the ones that I've used. And my boyfriend knows what they mean and of course says "See, you're upset. You said "fine" and that means you're pissed at me ..."

 

Ah well, too bad for some reason we can't just be straight with men.

[floridaguy]

That is funny macgyver

[SAMRA2]

I PROBABLY BELIEVE ITS HER AGE THATS AFFECTING HER. 43 is gettin closer to menopause and hormonal changes could be affecting her. there are several solutions that doctors can propose(estrogen patches under skin, estrogen shots..)

[MacGyverRI]

I PROBABLY BELIEVE ITS HER AGE THATS AFFECTING HER. 43 is gettin closer to menopause and hormonal changes could be affecting her. there are several solutions that doctors can propose(estrogen patches under skin, estrogen shots..)

 

 

It's a real possibility but I have found that most women over 37 have a good sex drive and will kill a younger guy in bed.

[doyathink]

Mac, I think you must know women pretty drn well. This is right on the money. I wish my hubby knew these.

[nottoogreen]

I am not saying it could not be made work. All depends on whether she loves you. Please talk to her about the scenario.

 

She did not marry for love. She is not in love. All she needed is two kids. No more, no less. She's a bit selfish.

 

She managed to get married just in time to have kids possibly also for her parents unless they have grand children.

 

She loves the kids, when she has problems, she'll focus on the kids. The kid's will never leave her.

 

Her lack of interest in (even oral) sex could be due to

a) unable to orgasm and thereforeee never having had any interest in sex.

b) feels guilty about her actions.

c) least likely: having given birth. Would be treatable but she avoids it.

 

Modern woman which do not orgasm feel used and dirty and are rather dissatisfied and selfish.

 

Menopause no issue right after two kids. Sexdrive should be fine when in a loving and satisfying relationship.

 

She does not object to a little fun on the side such as a cruise.

 

Now uses hubby to pay for kids. Hubby goes, still keep kids and get alimony, no problem.

 

Sorry

[floridaguy]

I don't think my wife falls into any of these scenarios. However she does focus on the kids when there is a problem with us. I really don't have a clue what is wrong with her. I don't think it is all physical. I haven't asked her if she is still pleasing herself without me.

[nottoogreen]

I don't think it is all physical. I haven't asked her if she is still pleasing herself without me.

Nothing is all... She has been masturbating? Good, at least she is not all that asexual.

 

You ought to slowly and gently understand her and your relationship. Please do not be upset/hot with her under any cricumstance.

[floridaguy]

Nothing is all... She has been masturbating? Good, at least she is not all that asexual.

 

You ought to slowly and gently understand her and your relationship. Please do not be upset/hot with her under any cricumstance.

 

I'm not sure she has been masturbating or not.

[nottoogreen]

I'm not sure she has been masturbating or not.

 

She has in the past?, If so she will still do so.

[MacGyverRI]

I don't think my wife falls into any of these scenarios. However she does focus on the kids when there is a problem with us. I really don't have a clue what is wrong with her. I don't think it is all physical. I haven't asked her if she is still pleasing herself without me.

 

It really sounds like you're not paying enough attention to her. You need to swallow the pride/traditional roles etc. and just be nice to her on a continuous basis. Kid free nights and taking her out may help. It won't happen overnight either so be patient.

[floridaguy]

It really sounds like you're not paying enough attention to her. You need to swallow the pride/traditional roles etc. and just be nice to her on a continuous basis. Kid free nights and taking her out may help. It won't happen overnight either so be patient.

 

I am VERY NICE to her. I do a lot of housework. I just took her and the kids to disney for the weekend. I try and listen to her and communicate with her as much as possible. I take care of the kids completely when I'm home from work and she is still unresponsive to my sexual needs.

[nottoogreen]

I am VERY NICE to her. I do a lot of housework. I just took her and the kids to disney for the weekend. I try and listen to her and communicate with her as much as possible. I take care of the kids completely when I'm home from work and she is still unresponsive to my sexual needs.

 

The way you write makes me feel your frustration. I guess that there is lots more frustration between the two of you than you relate.

 

You have to get inside her mind.

 

It will take time given the tension.

 

BTW, could you send her to enotalone?

[floridaguy]

The way you write makes me feel your frustration. I guess that there is lots more frustration between the two of you than you relate.

 

You have to get inside her mind.

 

It will take time given the tension.

 

BTW, could you send her to enotalone?

 

I have sent her an email to this site before with similar posts as mine. I didn't tell her I had been posting. She just glanced at it and didn't even spend anytime looking at it. She is just ignoring the problem.

[nottoogreen]

I have sent her an email to this site before with similar posts as mine. I didn't tell her I had been posting. She just glanced at it and didn't even spend anytime looking at it. She is just ignoring the problem.

 

Email her a link to this thread.

 

It is about your family, including her,you and kids.

 

You are making progress everyday. Soon you know were you stand. I do not think it will take more than a month to found out what she wants. I also do not think it can be done this week.

[itsallgrand]

What's the sleeping arrangement in your household? Are the kids in your room or in the bed?

 

Is she a stay at home mom? You mentioned how neither of you have made good friends in Florida yet. But her, moreso than you, bc you have regular work and co-workers.

 

She sounds very unhappy. So do you. If she is at home all day, with two little ones, no close friends near-by, no work: it makes sense that she is turning to the children to fill her needs. Not necessarily healthy, but I can see it. Hopefully, you can nip it in the bud now.

 

It must be very stressful, your situation right now. Big change of lifestyle!

 

Somehow, someway: the pressure needs release. Women tend to lose sex drive (or it becomes intense and compulsive) when important parts of their lives are lacking an outlet. It makes us feel unsexy. She needs to get out, have friends, do things only for herself. Get out of the 'mom zone' for periods of time. At least, I've seen it in others. Then the two of you would have a good chance of re-connecting. If she and you are drained: there's not much to bring to each other, right.

 

good luck.

[floridaguy]

No kids sleep in our bed with us. My wife works on the computer late at night in the guest bedroom. She usually falls asleep so we don't even sleep together much anymore.

 

I try to get her go out more without the kids on the weekend but she rarely wants to go. We do need to meet people and make new friends but both of us are shy and not very outgoing. A neighbor keeps asking my wife to do things but she comes up with excuses not to do them.

 

This morning I was up early to work out and tried to snuggle with her and maybe more. As soon as she felt me up against her she rolled on her stomach and put her head under her pillow. She was asleep but I just wanted to hold her for awhile. Its like she is completely turned off by me. How many women out there would wake up and give their husband at least a hand job to start off the day right?

[nottoogreen]

Sorry, she won't in her state. And among modern progressive couples sex is mutual enjoyment and expression of mutual love. Among tradional closed couples sex was the male using the females body. Hand jobs are for pre-oral youth and for wanking.

 

Kids should not sleep together with parents.

 

She does not work?

 

How is she with the kids?

 

She does not enjoy anything?, no friends?

 

How is she with her family?

 

Could you talk to ger family, maybe mom got some ideas?

 

She looks withdrawn and depressed.

[floridaguy]

I have asked her if she is depressed and she says she isn't.

[nottoogreen]

I have asked her if she is depressed and she says she isn't.

 

Ask her if she want's you to go away - but not in the context of sex!

[floridaguy]

Ask her if she want's you to go away - but not in the context of sex!

I'm afraid to do that because she might not want me to stay.

[nottoogreen]

I'm afraid to do that because she might not want me to stay.

 

Right now we seem to be stuck. How to move forward?

 

How much time you talk to her in a day?

 

Could you not have a conversation about how she sees the future of her, you and the kids?

[floridaguy]

Right now we seem to be stuck. How to move forward?

 

How much time you talk to her in a day?

 

Could you not have a conversation about how she sees the future of her, you and the kids?

 

I talk to her when I get home from work but never about sex. We do need to sit down and have a serious talk about us.

[nottoogreen]

I talk to her when I get home from work but never about sex. We do need to sit down and have a serious talk about us.

 

Good, talk to her as much as you can about anything but sex.

 

I know you are frustrated for a long time, we are here to sort it out. For now please do not touch her and be physicaly as distant as her. Nothing will be fixed overnight anyway but in a few weeks you know more.

 

Please put your mind into solving the problem. It is a win-win situation: you fix it with her, you both be happy with your kids. If it is found unfixable (which I do not believe), you can look into alternatives.

 

At first I had this scenario of her using you, but today I think she may just be is resentful, maybe depressed.

 

She is working well - keeping up with projects, etc?

 

Look back at the time when she stopped sex, did you have big arguments around that time?

 

The naming of this thread is extreme. Anything serious happened between you?

[floridaguy]

I just titled it "going insane" because I feel like the lack of sex is driving me insane. Nothing extreme has happened between us. We have been communicating better and not arguing as much but the sex still isn't there. I am going to try and talk to her again tonight and see what happens. I think I will tell her I'm tired of being rejected and when she is ready to have sex she can make the first move.