If you met a man...

[mikeoutthere]

Somewhere and liked him but he told you that he is homeless and jobless and will not date/have contact with you until he gets out of his situation by himself…would you stay away from him or tray to help him anyway just to find out who is he really as a person ?

[orgasmictofu]

I'd let him do his own thing. I'd let him know I'm there for him anytime, but he can have all the time in the world. He might just need time to figure out what he's doing with his life. He might also like to be alone for it.

[Beyondthesea]

That is an interesting question. Are you homeless/jobless and own a laptop or what? Just kidding.

 

I have no idea. How would you meet someone who was homeless really unless they were in your circle of friends, or someone you knew already? I mean, I think if you're homeless you probably don't have the extra cash to be out bar hopping.

[orgasmictofu]

 

I have no idea. How would you meet someone who was homeless really unless they were in your circle of friends, or someone you knew already? I mean, I think if you're homeless you probably don't have the extra cash to be out bar hopping.

 

I've talked to a lot of homeless people. Some of my friends who have lived cushy lives decided to live on the streets.

 

Heck, you could be at a coffee shop and start talking to the cute guy beside you and then find out he is without a home or income.

[renaissancewoman101]

If I was in that situation and I really liked the guy, I would try to help him find a job and a place to live, not saying I would give him the money to do it. I would try to give him job contacts, connections, etc. I tend to be the helpful type and if I can help someone, I usually try to.

[Scout]

I'd stay away from him. I would honestly have to see that he's capable of taking care of himself and has basic life coping skills, because stability is extremely important to me.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I'd stay away from him. I would honestly have to see that he's capable of taking care of himself and has basic life coping skills, because stability is extremely important to me.

I don't think this a fair assessment of many homeless people. There alot of economic problems that no one, least of all one little person can control. There are times when nothing you can do can save your house, car, whatever. One thing I keep in mind before making assumptions about a person based on their situations I think of the janitor that works in the building at my University. He looks like he could be homeless with a shaggy beard and his dark green jump suit, but a friend of mine talked to him one night and found out he has a masters degree in micro-biology, he had worked as a biologist for years, but never liked it. He quit his job and started sweeping halls to pay the bills, he said he was so much happier with life.

[Scout]

It wasn't really an assessment of homeless people in general, whom I have a great deal of compassion for. But as far as getting romantically involved with someone, it would not be for me. I have a very great personal need for security and stability, for reasons that date back to childhood, and I need a partner in my life who can contribute both. For others, this may not hold the same significance.

[RayKay]

I met my ex while he was unemployed and started dating him, it happens. I think the main thing would be that they were trying to solve the issue and I could see that, also depends on circumstances. I mean you never know...in the US medical bills are often enough to leave someone destitute.

 

Homeless..well not sure I would start something with someone living on the streets, but someone whom moved back with their parents or a friend for a while, maybe as long as again I saw them working on the issue and making an effort.

 

Then yes, I would be supportive to the degree I could be, and see what happens when his situation improves.

 

If they were not trying, or opted to be homeless and jobless just to run away from life, that would be another matter. We would be very different from one another and I would say I would not pursue it further.

[mikeoutthere]

You know I was homeless for a while in Alaska, and it is funny how people look at you and judge you, just because of it.

And I am not a drunk or a drug user.

[yeawutever]

I would let him go and not see him again. I ain't no money lender, but I also would never like depending on a guy.

[mikeoutthere]

What do women look for in a mate…do money play important role or not really ??

[orgasmictofu]

What do women look for in a mate…do money play important role or not really ??

 

I am most definitely not speaking for every chick out there. Personally, I don't care so much for money as I care that my SO has direction, motivation, drive to achieve more. Coincidentally, the ones with drive often have the money.

 

I dated a guy briefly and he was content with his life making 9 bucks an hour and living in his tiny bachelor. He had no drive to achieve more. That mentality drives me batty and I did break up with him rather quickly. Not cool when you go to Tim Horton's and he says "let's go dutch" for a couple coffees and some timbits. I ended up paying. I was planning on paying for the treats (it was like 5 bucks, even on a student's income I can afford that) but him saying that just bugged me.

[cristalgold]

If I really liked the guy I would stay in contact but let him get out of the situation himself. It may be something that he feels he needs to accomplish alone. Many men don't like depending on women. He wouldn't need to have a 6-figure income or anything, but it would be good to see progress being made. Even if he got a job washing dishes and stayed with someone or rented a room would be a start. As long as he doesn't try to depend on me to get him out of his situation (I'm not saying homeless people in general do this).

 

I recently liked a guy who really didn't have his life in order. He was close to homelessness. I tried to look past it because he had so many other good qualities, but he turned out to be the dependent type. That's a real turn off. Needless to say I am no longer interested.

 

As far as the money question, it depends on the woman. For me, I like a man's drive and confidence if anything. If he has money I won't complain.

[yeawutever]

I think it works both ways. As much as girls don't like guys depending on them mostly, I'm sure guys would also get turn-off by needy girls, so it works both ways. Who would ever be with a needy person who can't depend on theirselves?

[eleanorrigby1]

I don't think this a fair assessment of many homeless people. There alot of economic problems that no one, least of all one little person can control. There are times when nothing you can do can save your house, car, whatever. One thing I keep in mind before making assumptions about a person based on their situations I think of the janitor that works in the building at my University. He looks like he could be homeless with a shaggy beard and his dark green jump suit, but a friend of mine talked to him one night and found out he has a masters degree in micro-biology, he had worked as a biologist for years, but never liked it. He quit his job and started sweeping halls to pay the bills, he said he was so much happier with life.

 

I really respect Scout for being honest because people do seem to jump down others throats sometimes for being 'judgemental' when to judge someone for being judgemental is a judgment in itself! lol!

 

I think if we were all honest in ourselves and didnt care how other people viewed us or thought of us or judged us we probably wouldnt be seen as very nice people! lol!

 

I wouldnt go anywhere near a homeless jobless man, because I too need stability in my life and despite circumstances I get up every morning and go to a job and I work weekends to pay my bills and I manage it just fine.

[paralleltraverse]

I would try and set him up with a job maybe let him use my shower to clean up lol. but i would still be cautious. some people might say theyre homeless only to take money or belongings from you. so i would try and build trust first. i would probobly go and see him everyday maybe let him stay with me. I was never homeless, but i grew up dirt poor most of my life. I know how to make something out of nothing.I have a job, not a 6 figure job but guess what? Its a job. Im living, paying my bills, thankful for the things i do have in life and appreciate the little things.I see people who have more than me but i am not jealous.We are all human, we make mistakes. things happen to us that we cant control.Money doesnt matter to me long as i have someone who cares alot about me and is responsible.I've been with my fiance' for 8 yrs and in that time i loved him when he had money and i loved him when he couldnt afford to even eat.Once i was with a friend walking in town checking out the shops and a homeless person asked her for change, she gave him $10 of her $20, i didnt have any money to give him or else i would have.i told her "that was a nice thing you did" and she said "when i see someone who is homeless , i see myself and i know i would want someone to do the same thing for me"