Hypothetical question

[Kevin T]

Let's say - for whatever reason - that you somehow found out that you had to be single for the rest of your life. Would that bother you? If so, how much; a little, a lot, not at all? And if so, why would it bother you?

[melrich]

Yes it would bother me a lot for sure. I like being in a relationship and having someone to share my life with and have a family with.

[Tigris]

I would devastated if I had to remain single for the rest of my life!

 

I've been used to living by myself most of the time over the last 5 years because my husband worked away. I can deal without the sex for years and have done so in the past but I cannot cope with not being kissed and cuddled and having love bestowed upon me.

[easyguy]

Kevin,

 

I've been single my entire life -- all 19 years of it. You'd think by now that I would be kicking myself everyday for not having a girlfriend/partner, especially with peer pressure, but I'm rather content being single. Sure, there are those days that I wish I had someone to share intimate moments with -- especially after I become attracted to someone and hit a downward slope, but those do not outweigh how I truly feel about myself in the big picture. I have interests and hobbies that take up most of my life, and that is where my true passion lies.

 

So in this hypothetical situation, it probably wouldn't bother me too much. But even without a girlfriend/wife/partner, I would still like to have close friends that support me, provide moral support for whatever reason, and make me feel happy about living life.

 

I don't know how I'd feel 20 years from now, but the life I am living now is how I like it, and if a girl comes along, then I'll take it from there.

[DropToZero]

If I was told that, I would be...content...I think is the best way to put it. I like to think of myself as a pretty self-serving independent person, and I don't have to have someone in my life to be happy. Of course, people generally are more happy when in relationships of some sort, so I'm sure my level of happiness would never reach that level, but I could live with it. This could go into a whole separate discussion as to where people that are okay with the fact that they would be single the rest of their lives seem more in-control because they don't have that dependency on others they are in a relationship to feel good, they are seen as stronger, and the fact that someone could possibly be in a relationship with you is just a part of your life, and will not take over it...and I'm rambling, I answered the question 5 sentences ago hehe.

[serve_the_people]

I wouldn't care. My life is awesome right now. Girls can't make you happy. ONly you can make yourself happy, by choosing that attitude.

[shes2smart]

Wouldn't bother me a bit.

 

I had already come to that conclusion after I broke up with my last bf in June 2001. I was 37 and had never been married. Over that summer, I consulted with a lawyer and had a will and other documents drawn up as if I would be single for the duration. I arranged my finances as if I would be single & my only source of support (financially) for the rest of my life, and I started making plans to buy a house on my own. I figured I might date occasionally if the mood struck me and the opportunity presented itself, but I ceased looking for anything serious/long-term in the relationship area. I was feeling really good about all this...like I had a bright future and I was looking forward to it.

 

That's about the time life will throw you a curve ball. In this case, it came in the form of an IM from a guy who stumbled accross a nearly empty profile of mine that I had completely forgotten about. (It wasn't a dating site profile...it was a website for a shared interest and in order to use the site's message boards, one had to register...like here.) Seriously, the only things on that profile were my age, general geographic location, gender, marital status and my Yahoo messenger ID. We chatted, we met, and I was married to him less than a year later.

 

In some weird way, I think being perfectly fine and happy on my own had everything to do with being able to attract/create a healthy relationship.

[Alabama]

Not really. I always been single and wouldn't mind it. I have the freedom I desire and time to myself.

[NJRon]

Well, it sure would take a load off to know one way or the other.

[RayKay]

In the past if you asked me, I would probably have said yes. I enjoyed being single, I loved myself, was comfortable with it. I felt I had freedom I would not have in a relationship. I was proved wrong

 

Ultimately, being with someone at this time whom I undoubtedly want to share my life with...and realizing even more in the last few months how incredibly important family & love is to me, I really do want to share my life with someone...specifically with my boyfriend. I want to have children to pass on that love to, after realizing how much love my mum feels for us, and how proud of her, and how much I love her, I would love to experience that with my partner. I have also realized for the first time being with someone does not mean sacrificing whom I am. I still am me, he loves me for me. I still have the freedom to follow my passions & interests, I still can voice my opinions freely. I still have time to myself. After a couple relationships where I never felt so comfortable being me, it's an amazing thing.

 

If I *had* to be single, yes, I could do it, I could even be content with it. However I would most definitely miss having a (my) partner to share my life with, and I would undoubtedly miss sharing theirs.

[Kevin T]

Great responses. I'm finding this very interesting.

 

Anyone else?

[Dako]

I have no real reaction either way.

Marriage was great, but I've lost faith in it.

I'm planning to stay single to avoid drama, and to be free to be myself, whoever that might be.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I would be very upset by it. I love my friends and family, but I don't think I could live forever without the affection and intimacy of being with someone special. I've never had a serious relationship, but I still think I will one day find someone to be with. I think if you knew for certain you would be alone it would take away all the hope of ever finding your soulmate and it would be crushing.

[knglerxt]

I'd commit suicide. There's no way I could live the rest of my life without "knowing" a woman.

[Kevin T]

At times, I've thought the same thing. I mean, there's no way for sure I can know I'll be single forever, but the thought of it makes me think I'd be better off dead.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Let's say - for whatever reason - that you somehow found out that you had to be single for the rest of your life. Would that bother you? If so, how much; a little, a lot, not at all? And if so, why would it bother you?

If I found that I was going to be alone the rest of my life at, say... 10:33AM, I'd shoot myself in the head at, say... 10:34AM. There would be no purpose of living, absolutely none. Hope for a better tomorrow and perhaps finding someone will not exist, so why should I? I would love to hear one good valid reason to continue living if this information rests in our databanks, but there will be none.

[Ålter Ego]

If I found that I was going to be alone the rest of my life at, say... 10:33AM, I'd shoot myself in the head at, say... 10:34AM. There would be no purpose of living, absolutely none. Hope for a better tomorrow and perhaps finding someone will not exist, so why should I? I would love to hear one good valid reason to continue living if this information rests in our databanks, but there will be none.

Me too, but I'd probably try to nuke the core so that the world can feel my pain.

[Dako]

I think of Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone after WW3 with all his books and no reading glasses.

[Felix055]

This is a possible reality that I and others face as we are getting older. We change - our priorities change - for both men and women. For myself love and love relationships has been fleeting here today gone tomorrow. I could have sworn I'd met my 'soulmate' 10x's since I was 14 years old. I was wrong each time.

What I've learned is that I do not know what love is and yet I do know what it is not. All we want - all that goes on in the world, the struggle the suffering the endless stream of tears comes down to this; we just want to love and be loved. Six and a half billion people all wanting the same thing. And yet very few of us really find it. Do any of us really know what IT is? What is love?

 

Sunrise doesn't last all morning

A cloud burst doesn't last all day

Seems my love is up,

And left you with no warning

But it's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass, all things must pass away

George Harrison

[Kevin T]

Love would be self-sacrifice, yo.

[Juha]

Love would be finding someone you can't live without, not finding someone you can live with...

[shyanne]

i don't think it would bother me

[NJRon]

I think of Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone after WW3 with all his books and no reading glasses.

 

That's one of my favorite episodes!

[Felix055]

I would respectfully say no, love is not self-sacrifice or self anything for that matter. I suspect that it is not a finding to be found either. Nor is it a happening in the future or an event of the past. Yet it is all around us. It permeates through every molecule - atom - of our being - so it becomes like the eye trying to look at it self.

[yeawutever]

Well yea, off course it would annoy me. I mean, don't you wanna share for secrets, your feelings, your bad/happy moments with that special best friend, and then get marry and form a family. I can't imagine not ever meeting someone nor forming a family one of these days. Well at the same time being single was lots of advantages, sometimes you really do need somwone that is there for you when he need him/her.

I wouldn't stand dying as an old lady with no experience ever, I don't even think I would be able to live with that fact.