Diggitydave Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 It starts as soon as I wake up, the lingering black cloud of sorrow. I can't shake it. I am going nuts. I understand why things went wrong sort of and it's been a while since we've been broken up. I can't shake this emotion though. I have never been this sad in my life and it hurts really really bad. I just want this to go away. i can't believe my baby is gone, this hurts so bad. i feel horrible, every day now and the next day isn't easier then the last. I don't understand!!!!! It feels like when I wake up someone is just beating me down and i can't defend myself. It hurts soo bad... Link to comment
Titan4Life Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I feel the same way, I wake up like at 4am feeling anxiety and like I have to throw up, which sometimes do, I cant get back to sleep, she is on my mind, I just wanna see her, and work things out, but she tells me she needs time, it hurts like hell man, I know exactly what your going through, exactly. Feels like i have a hard time to breathe sometimes, like someone is standing on my chest. Worst feeling in the world.. i would never wish this on anyone, its the worst thing i am going through, and cant seem to shake the idea how to get better, I keep thinking about her... Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I know everyone says this but it will get easier. When?? I don't know, but if it's meant to be it will be (yes another cliche). I'm sorry you are hurting right now, but posting your feelings I find helps. So vent away.... Link to comment
Titan4Life Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Nat thank you, Dave we can do this man, I know its the hardest thing, the heart will heal, we have to go through this now, to heal, i know its hard, but i am sure we will both get stronger in time, trust me, its hard for me to say this, and to be positive when I have anxiety attacks all day and cant sleep at night, but there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, there just has to be.. Stay strong, if you need to talk pm bro, I am there for you. Honestly. Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Well I know it's not meant to be right now and I have to get over it, now. I really have been trying to get over it and it feels like there is something holding me back. I am probably just being impatient and expecting myself to wake up healed one day. I just want it to be over, the pain, the waking up in the morning feeling like death itself. Link to comment
Titan4Life Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I feel the exact same way Dave... Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Guys, there is nothing anyone can say or do that will make the pain go away, you just need to feel it and sort through them on a day by day basis. Be strong and know that you are not alone. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 This too shall pass. You were fine before you were together, you will be fine after. Hang in there, feel the pain, and let the pain go. Don't hold onto it, or you will just be holding yourself back. Link to comment
Orlander Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 It does get easier...then harder...then easier again. Then, one day, you wake up and think to yourself "What the hell was I thinking feeling this way over him/her for so long?? I must have been crazy!!" It just takes time. I'm pretty angry about my break, how it happened and why it happened and I want revenge. My revenge will be to move on, find someone much MUCH better in every way, live a long happy life and to think about her the way I think about all my other exes...which is rarely at all. Orlander Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 to think about her the way I think about all my other exes...which is rarely at all. Amen to that!! Link to comment
lgirl Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Diggity Dave i know exactly how you feel - at one point i felt so sick from it, it was making me ill, i don't understand why i'm still thinking about my ex (it's less in the mornings now, but every night when i'm in bed either i dream about him or remember stuff or my brain just gets replays it all) after all this time... i have done all that feeling the pain stuff and i still haven't got a clue how you let it go - how is it we don't want to feel this way yet we do? if i could take a magic pill and forget it all i would! at one point i wanted a lobotomy to erase all memories thoughts of my ex. so i don't know how all that works b/c this is sticking to me like mud on a pig. i'm sorry i don't know what the answer is. the only thing i can tell you from my experience is that it doesn't go away all in one go (i wish!), but it does seem to fade a bit and the moments in between thinking about them get longer. but it does seem a cruel twist that just as you think you've made a step forward you end up going back 2 steps hang in there - nothing lasts forever, so hopefully this won't too Link to comment
starion Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 tough one, only time helped me and a lot of it too. i am sure though there must be a way to accelerate the recovery even if not by much. i wasn't able to figure it out back then, but maybe those types of questions should be asked. Link to comment
Blue In Texas Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Dave, you have posted about having good days as well. Orlander is right. These bad spells come in waves. You might want to go back and read some of your own excellent posts. They have helped me on days I was feeling like you and Titan do today (ie two days ago). Sorry you're both going thru such a rough one right now. Link to comment
Titan4Life Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Thanks Blue, i think we all need the support of each other in this difficult time, i know everytime i read a good post it makes me feel a bit better. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Somethings that accelerated my recovery... 1. Focused entirely on myself. Did not go out seeking a new relationship. I feel that had I done this, it would have just set me back (though I'm sure others have different opinions). 2. Got rid/stashed everything that reminded me of 'us' 3. Started going to different places, drove different routes, basically... set new patterns in my day-to-day life 4. Went through the motions even when I didn't feel like it. Went out, even if not to socialize, just to be a part of humanity. Ate when I didn't feel hungry. Took walks when I wanted to just stay inside. Watched comedies and forced myself to laugh. Go through the motions and the emotions will follow. Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 One thing to add to NJRon's recovery techniques: Friends!!!! And my family. I could not have made it through my break-up (even though I was the "dumper")...I still hurt and wondered if I did the right thing. My friends and family were my guides (still are), did all the thinking and be my intuition. I was so jaded with emotions and pain...there was no way in heck I was able to make sound and rash decisions. Lean on them as much as you can. It definitely speeds up the recovery process. Trust me. (((Hugs))) Link to comment
Spawn Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 you have to make an effort, try to learn somethin new.....don't stay at one place all the time. I usually start doin somethin the moment i start thinkin about my ex. I have taken up training for CCNP, that is helpin me a lot to concentrate on somethin new. Usually work around 5 to 6 hours in labs....so most of the time i am not thinkin of her, it really helps. Get out and make new friends.... I am not dating anymore even if somebody asks me out i may have to tell them i am on a break from dating....hihi, just doesn't feel like gettin into a relationship so soon. Watchin comedies do help too expecially brit comedies, i have coupling and office. good luck dave.....its gotta get better! Link to comment
gratefulpain Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I totaly know how you feel. I agree with the above posts.... the thoughs just come flooding in... at random... I take a deap breath and imagine Im exhaling my ex's negativity... Kinnda corny but the breathing made me feel like it was leaving my body... stay busy my friend.. sign up for stuff that you have to be accountable for, like a team sport or volunteer... that way whether you want to or not you have to get out of the house Link to comment
vickyviking Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 Hey , Just to let you know I know exactly how you feel as well. However, it *is* better than it was, I cannot believe I feel better than I did, but I do. Every day I feel like it won't ever go away, but I know it will, in time. So many people keep telling me that me and my ex weren't right for each other. I know that there were a lot of problems, but it is really a head and heart thing. I am a Christian and believe that God will take away the pain, that He has better things for me than what I have lost. I pray the same for you as well. Link to comment
TheHighwayMan Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I know the feeling. No matter how many defences or motivational thoughts you build throughout the day, in the morning all of that is gone and what's waiting for you when you wake up are the crushing thoughts of her and the break-up. It's terrible. But we have to tough it out, no choice. Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted March 3, 2006 Author Share Posted March 3, 2006 Hey , Just to let you know I know exactly how you feel as well. However, it *is* better than it was, I cannot believe I feel better than I did, but I do. Every day I feel like it won't ever go away, but I know it will, in time. So many people keep telling me that me and my ex weren't right for each other. I know that there were a lot of problems, but it is really a head and heart thing. I am a Christian and believe that God will take away the pain, that He has better things for me than what I have lost. I pray the same for you as well. As am I and I ask God every day to take this from me because I can't take it anymore. I write in a journal asking the same thing. I think it comes down to us being in an age of quick fixes. This is the one those things that is not a quick fix. I guess we all feel we've suffered enough yanno? Thanks Link to comment
whatchamacallit Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I too feel pain and anxiety. Some days...all day long. It hurts. And I work with him. He has recently decided no physical contact till I can get my life together. It's killing me. Especially seeing him at work. Sometimes the pain is too much to bear. Wish I could find another job, but that doesn't look like it'll happen anytime soon. Link to comment
Bethany Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 It starts as soon as I wake up, the lingering black cloud of sorrow. I can't shake it. It feels like when I wake up someone is just beating me down and i can't defend myself. It hurts soo bad... Nobody and nothing is dragging you down, YOU ARE DOING IT TO YOURSELF. So, AS SOON AS you wake up, GET UP and I mean immediately. No laying there for a little longer, because the longer you lay there, the more this feeling as to take hold of you and the more sorrow you will feel. Have a plan for the day, even if it's just going out for a walk, or washing the car. ANYTHING is better than laying there morning after morning, dragging yourself down. The longer you lay there, the more depressed you will be. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now