please tell me what to do i'm confused.

[saloumehdaghighi]

Someone please help me, i'm going to make the story short but here it goes. i was friends with this guy for about a couple of years we had fall outs. After a couple years passed by i fell in love with this guy so we ended up together. i live all the way in the usa he's in middle east. i went to middle east and saw him we met up and were discussing our future together. I was so much in love with him that i'd do anything to be with him. We were together for 3 years. After i came back from middle east we started having problems ever sense and started treating my badly and not respecting my family and i would have problems with my family over this. We have not seen each other after 2 years, his mom dissaproved of me and i couldn't get married to a guy where his mom did not give the approval. We broke up so many times and got back together. Its been a rocky relationship for me. On summer 2003 i called it quits with this guy. after 3 years of realtionship. i started going out with another guy so i can take my mind of this guy. we started seeing each other and we clicked. i thought carrying a friendship with my ex would make it better but it didnt it made it worser i've tried talking to him so many times trying to get a apology from him and he never apologized after he's put me through and thats what threw me off. we hadn't spoken in a year with my ex he comes back emailing me again i told him that i was engaged to my new boyfriend and we were planning to get married. to make the story short i got married and on my wedding website left me a congragulation and i started communicating with him and thanked him. we kept grewing further apart from each other but with my ex bf was something different. we would not talk for months or would go away for about a year or so. And now things got really ugly i've had it with him going away and coming back and emailing me. He keeps throwing these accusations on me and blames me for his problems and want to start a fight. i've had it with this guy i'm sick and tierd of putting up with it all the time, i keep talking to him but nothing goes through his damb head. i told him if he keeps contanting me then i'd file a complaint on him. I've told my husband he tells me to change my email address and i'm sick and tierd of changing my email address all the time but he keeps going away and coming back when he wants to get in touch with me he contacts me somehow. this past summer was the toughest year for me. he would start cursing me out and making problems for me. he told me to move on with my life and should just foget about him. i did for about 4 months he came back again with stupid accusations and picking up another fight with me. he told me he was getting married next month i told him if your getting married then why are you still in contact with me. and why he cant move on with his life.

he never apologized to me, he never tells me the truth, he's making my marriage fall apart. this past following week i've had it with this guy everything was making me sick so i called him up and we started going at it. i would say something he would say something he wouldn't shut up. someone please help me. tell me what to do.

thanks

sally

[DN]

The first thing to do is stop replying to his e-mails. Block him and delete any that get through without reading them. He can't fight with someone who ignores him.

[Jinx]

Like DN said, it seems the only way you're going to be able to get rid of him is to block all contact, and meaning, filtering out/blocking his emails. If he has another email address which he uses if he doesn't get a reply from you, then I suppose it would be in your best interest to simply sign up for an alternative email, and do away with the first.

 

Give only friends and family (you trust) the email, not him. He shouldn't be able to get ahold of the address to contact you in the first place unless it is posted somewhere that he can get ahold of it, or someone you know is giving it to him.

 

If he does somehow get the alternative of yours, just don't read any emails that you don't know who they are from. Best solution is to have your friends and family tell you personally about any of their email changes and anything unknown is best left alone.

 

There is no need to hurt your current partner over this other individual which obviously has no respect or interest except hurting you, may hurt for the time being, but its going to be a lot worse if you allow it to continue and play along with the madness.

[Darketernal]

Ok the thing is clear for me. Closure is the keyword. You see you can't keep the ex on a leash, this whole 'just be friends thing' is extremely unhealthy for you for him and your new boyfriend. It creates a triangle affair. So END a relationship 100% , before you engage into a 'new' relationship. That way the ghosts of the past won't come back to haunt you. That you allowed 'the door to be left open for your ex to come back in your life and ruining whatever you have' is the reason that things have gone wrong. You must understand that you can only be commited to 'one' partner, any other guy will only hurt the current relationship that you have with your current bf.

 

So prevent this 'mistake' and don't create triangle affairs. Cast the bad people and bad elements continuesly 'out' of your life. THis way you'll only be left with the happy ends.

[HaloDestroyer]

Darketernal is very much correct.

 

However much you want to keep a friendship with an ex, one side always turns bitter, even if the other isn't.

 

It's much better, in the long-run, to end any contact. This way, you have no chance of endangering new relationships.

 

You could also wait awhile before engaging in any new relationships, so the ex is completely out of your head.

 

Hope this helps...

[ScoobyBaby1500]

Like everybody else just stop replying and start to ignore him.

[saloumehdaghighi]

i just want to say thank you all for all yalls support. i will defintily take everything into consideration. but i have another problem that concerns me, its with the same guy i was talking about. i have left this guy alone for at least 4 months we have not talked or anything for the past 4 months. he decides to show up again. and i've had enough of him showing up and going away. he blames everything on me, everything he starts these accusations and throws them in my face making it look like i'm the guilty one and starts making up lies that he never wants to answer he's avoiding everything and i've asked him nicely to go back and check his emails and tells me that dates on those emails. its like he knows he started it but does not want to admit to it and wants to make things into a bigger issue. i just dont get it anymore, why lie? why cant he just be honest? why cant he confess to anything anymore? is it because he has not gotten over it yet? please let me know soon.

thanks