Brownies and Dating

[finneganswake]

Last night, I was talking with some friends and the topic of food and men came up. I told them how with my last boyfriend (of 1.5 years), when we first started dating (a month or so into dating), I baked him brownies. He flipped and thought they were incredible. For the rest of the relationship, he would always say how awesome of a baker I was and very often asked me to bake him my brownies.

 

But the fact was...they were from the box! I told him in the beginning that they were from scratch, but in reality, I had a lot of help from Betty Crocker. I always told myself that I would eventually tell him the sad truth, but was scared that he would have been upset that they weren't from scratch.

 

As a Southern girl myself, I know that one of the ways to a guys heart is through his stomach, and have periodically baked these brownies for other guys in my life, resulting in the same effect. In all other areas of the relationship though, I am 100% honest.

 

Guys, is this really bad? I know it isn't honest, but would you be bummed to find out that some food item you thought your girl was making for you from scratch was really from a box or previously prepared by someone else (i.e Whole Foods, a bakery, etc.)?? Or is it the thought that counts?

[darkblue]

To be honest - I doubt that it would bother me so much.

I am not in a relationship for the woman's cooking skills...

I would be moreso upset that she lied to me, than anything else.

[lunatic]

I have to say upfront that the post I am doing here is from my experiences only. I find a good woman is hard to find but, finding a good woman who can cook is a bonus. I don't think it really matters if it is Betty Crocker or from scratch. Most guys will make a big deal out of the fact you baked and to top that off that you were thinking of him.

[Markers]

wouldn't bother me more than just any lie.

[Derek]

I think just tell him, lightheartedly,

 

" Hey baby, you know those brownies that I cooked for you that you always liked? Well I have a confession, it wasn't completely from scratch, I had Betty Crocker help me. But I want you to know that while I was making it, I was giving it my special touch and was thinking of you every moment while cooking them. "

 

Why not?

 

I think he'll just shrug it off. It's about your time and effort in doing it just for him. I don't think he cares if you are perfect or not, just that you care about him.

 

 

[RayKay]

Well, first off if you want a to-die-for-brownie-recipe-from-scratch, let me know, I have some fantastic ones!

 

Personally, I love to bake from scratch, and I love tweaking things so they are "my creation". And baking from scratch is really NOT harder then using a mix....just can take a bit more time and ingredients, and you get the satisfaction of doing it all by yourself (well, minus having to grind any flour or go travel and find your own cocoa beans, and raise your own chickens for eggs....only Martha Stewart is that crazy . I love to bake for people as honestly, I really am not so into eating it myself (ice cream is about my only "sweet tooth vice" and get satisfaction out of it.

 

So, it's totally normal to love doing things like that for people. However I can see why you may feel a bit guilty, but really you should not worry about it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you want to keep using the Betty Crocker, just add some of your own zest to make it more your own (ie extra melted chocolate, and so forth) but really, don't sweat it.

 

I honestly don't think they would care that much, though of course may be a bit upset about the lie about them being from scratch. It certainly would not change the taste, the thought, or the fact you did take the time to do it.

 

If it bothers you, just fess up, perhaps by baking a batch FROM scratch, and as you hand them over, confess that the ones you made before were from a box, and you wanted to prove you could indeed do them all on your lonesome

 

You never know, they might let you know the ones from the box were better anyway...I have heard many people say they like them a lot. Maybe because their mothers had a little secret too, and they are used to that taste/flavour!

[Scout]

I'm sorry, this post made me burst out laughing at my PC! I can clearly tell the OP is not a fibber by nature, or she wouldn't be stressing about this. In my opinion, this is a little "white lie" that's completely harmless.

 

Also, I'm a Southern girl, too - and yes, cooking definitely can help you woo a guy! My boyfriend is constantly amazed that almost every night when he comes over, I've cooked for us. In short, he's in heaven. Last night, I realized almost everything I had made for that particular dinner came from a box or a package of some sort. I kind of laughingly apologized for that, and he said, "Are you kidding?? Do you know how long it's been since anyone even took the time to make dinner for me on a regular basis?"

 

In other words, it's the effort that counts. Now, if you're really feeling a bit guilty, you could make a real brownies from scratch recipe, and ask your boyfriend for his honest opinion of which recipe he prefers. Either answer is a perfect opening for you to tell him the truth about the Betty Crocker version and I guarantee he'll think the whole thing is funny.

[Scout]

Wait, I just realized you were talking about a past boyfriend, not a current one. No need to 'fess up then, I guess!

[here2understand2]

would not bother me, not having the faith in me to tell the truth would..the thought counts tho..so I dont think I'll be pissed

[ravenfox]

i doubt it would bug him

many guys joke that they cant do anything but microwave - so i think if he really likes them you did make them from scratch - afterall it wasnt like you bought them at the grocers - u still had to involve the eggs milk oil water mixer pans - oiling of pans - baking - cutting - dishes *WHEW* all that work!!!

[bouldersweden]

I don't think this is even an issue. A little devilish, but I like devilish. I think it's great. Don't worry too much about this one. If you decide to switch your gender preference let him know. This... this isn't a big deal.