had contact with ex....she called me...(long)

[Pikey1972]

Hope it all works out for you, Dogg. Keep up the NC if possible and keep us posted.

[Dogg]

here ya go coooolsome, that thank you goes out to you as well

 

 

[Dogg]

believe me I hope that it works out for me too! nothing would make me happier than to be able to make her happy again! I know that I can, I just need the chance...

[kellbell]

Awwww thank you Dogg!!! That rose is so beautiful. I don't mean to be too hard about things but I just don't want to see you get hurt anymore than you have. I guess the best thing you can do it wait and see what happens....I mean you did indeed leave the ball in her court. You have made remarkable progress...I can totally see how far you have come.

[Dogg]

thanks kellbell,

 

I succommed to the pressure and sent her an email saying that it was nice to hear from her this weekend although it would have been a lot nicer minus all of the bull * * * * she had pulled, but that I was over it and that I hope that maybe we can talk soon to catch up and see where we both stand. and I sent her that rose as well. It may have been a good idea or a bad idea, we'll see, whats done is done....

[coooolsome]

Just be ready to receive no response or a response that you dont want. And thanks for the pic

[Dogg]

yeah I know that I probably won't receive a response, but one can always hope. anyway, again I laid it out there, now its NC from here on out and maybe just maybe she will continue to think about things and see that she does still care for a reason and that she does want to recconcile our previous differences and move foreward. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it!

[Dogg]

well, I still have not heard anything from my ex after last weekend. I sent her that email and have gotten no response either. why would she call me to harass me at 4:30 in the morning last weekend, then call to apologize for it and now not talk to me or respond to my emails? She obviously still has some feelings for me and still cares about me or she would not have cared enough to stalk my myspace page and then call and scream at me over it and who I was talking too, right? any advice on what to do now if anything is appreciated!

[moondog627]

By responding to her you've now shown her that you're still in the background as a backup and you've lost any power/control you may have had. Go back into NC and forget about her.

[keefy1972]

yeah I know that I probably won't receive a response, but one can always hope. anyway, again I laid it out there, now its NC from here on out...

 

See this is the thing Dogg, I've been following this particular thread and your other thread from the beginning, and it is completely cyclical for you. You were doing so well and being strong in your attempts to move on...or so we all thought. You get one single drunken phone call and it makes you a total mess. This phone call wasn't even a sincere "let's catch up" or "I've missed you" phone call. It was one brought about by jealousy and selfishness on her part. She felt threatened that she lost control of your emotions and reacted to it by calling you to basically say, "How dare you move on. I'm calling all the shots here and I say you still should be begging me back"

 

Now here we are with this one phone call, predicated on negative pretenses, and you've gotten so caught up in her game that we've created six pages on this thread from it. Despite all of the unanimous advice that you continue NC, you go and "lay it all out there" AGAIN. Dude, if you don't wake up and start following the objective opinions of people on the outside, you are NEVER going to have her back. Stop listening to your heart man. It's digging you a deeper hole. Sit back and follow the majority's advice, from those who have no emotional stake in it, and I promise you will see better results. Possibly from her, but definitely for yourself. You've got to drop this pig-headed "my way or the highway" routine that you have. If you want help and advice, the least you could do for those that offer it, is to at least give it a chance to work.

 

That's just my opinion though. Good luck dude!

[Lady Bugg]

Keefy is dead on here Dogg....he took the words right out of my font.

 

Most of the advice here was to NOT contact this girl but you decided to be beligerent and do it ANYway..of course under the guise of "not expecting a response". Yeah RIGHT.

 

Here is my blunt BUT honest opinion: This girl has probably lost whatever respect OR feelings she MAY have been getting again, after that email to her. She knows she can do WHATEVER she wants, come back and you'll still be waiting...why shouldn't she think that? You have told her that with your actions, AND your words.

 

Truthfully, there was NO reason you needed to ask for advice here,because you already had your mind made up what you were gonna do...

you just wanted someone to give you their stamp of approval.

 

That said, I hope you have at least learned a very important lesson in all this...Maybe you can use it toward your next relationship.

[moondog627]

Agree with everyone thus far. Just to add, by emailing her AGAIN you've shown that you're just the same old you and not a challenge in the LEAST bit. And I've been in your shoes. My ex called me a week before Christmas for the first time in almost SIX MONTHS! It was a nice, pleasant, cordial conversation. But what have I done since then? NOTHING!!! Why? Because that one phone call doesn't mean she wants to get back together and thinking what the call could possibly mean is futile. Also, all the hard work and gains I've gotten out of NC would be ruined if I broke it. Now, will my ex call me again? Who the f*ck knows and, truthfully, I don't care anymore. I would never be able to get to this mindset if I kept playing the see-saw games you have been. Do YOURSELF a favor and move one with your life. Stop the games.

[PrincessLinzay]

Hey Dogg~

 

Sorry you're going through this timultuous emotional time. Just when someone thinks they're making progress....wham....something has to get thrown into the mix and confuse things.

 

Unfortunately, I have to agree with what most of the posters on here have been saying all along. It's great that you think you have changed and that she's the one, but what good will that do if she doesn't feel the same way? Sending her another email was a risk, and one that didn't work out the way you had been hoping. If she was really thinking about getting back together with you, trust me, she would have responded.

 

Of course she still has feelings for you. You were together for 3 years, and feelings don't just get shut off like a faucet. However, she still broke up with you, and has not initiated any type of reconciliation. As she was the one who initiated the breakup in the first place, if there was to be any type of attempt at a reconciliation whatsoever, it would have to come from her, and from this side of things, I don't think that is her intention.

 

As for the drunken message, it's over and done with now, and she hasn't tried calling again. She felt like her position on your pedestal had been usurped and she was thrown into a jealous rage. "How dare he speak to another woman when he's supposed to be pining after ME!!" Try not to read anymore into it. She obviously isn't.

 

I think most of us can't in good conscience offer you any advice on contacting her because we don't think it's the right thing to do. We aren't out to get you, we don't want you to be miserable, but we see things from an objective viewpoint and don't think that she is secretly wanting you to contact her. If she wanted to talk and work things out, she would be the one calling you, not the other way around.

 

I know it's hard to hear these things, but we really are just looking out for your best interests and don't want to see you get more hurt than you already have been.

 

Hang in there, and next time you get the urge to email her, post here instead......

[Dogg]

you are all right, I am a weak idiot who was just looking for some reason to contact her, and her drunken phone call gave it to me. I have again been wearing my heart on my sleeve and have been getting nothing out of it. I will laways wonder why and for what f*cken reason she called me and left that drunken message and then got so damn angry with me only to again leave me hangin. Maybe she just really does not care and again, all of you were right! its really too bad that she is doign this, because I can assure you that things could and would have been very different, but thats her loss I guess although ultimatley its mine as well and has been the entire time. Well, back to NC for me, but this time I'm sticking with it! I will hope for the best, but I expect the worst and that is what I have gotten thus far anyway. What the F*CK am a such a damn tool about this for??????? I've again become such a l;oser that I am beginning to annoy people on line who have never even met me before!!!!! I need a swift kick in the nuts, HARD!!!!!!

[Dogg]

its a damn shame that I am at work right now cause I really need a drink!!!!!! Tanqueray & Tonic anyone!!!!

[keefy1972]

Dogg, you are indeed weak but, by no means, are you an idiot or a loser. You just need to learn how to settle down, control your own personal urges, and relax. When you come on here to post an issue, don't do it when you've already made your mind up about doing something. Take the objective opinions into serious consideration and follow the advice of the majority. That will help you a great deal. In order to be helped you must first learn to accept the help. At this point, your heart and your emotions are your worst enemy. Ignore them at all costs.

[lonelyfish]

Dogg, don't be so hard on yourself and beat youself up! We are all here to learn from our experiences and hopefully gain better insight in regards to relationships so we can keep moving forward and be wiser and stronger to better handle whatever comes our way in the future. Your doing good my friend. Keep posting away for it certainly helps, and don't worry about people's opinions of you - we are here to help each other out.

 

By the way, I was curious to whatever happened to the new girl you were dating - is she still in the picture??

[kellbell]

Hi Dogg!!

I am never going to kick any guy in the nutz who sent me such a beautiful rose. Anyhow...you are NOT a loser or an idiot....you are human!!! With emotions and feelings. You still love her and care about her so you are going to hold on any string she throws you. It happens to everyone...I see it here hundreds of times a week.

 

Just think when you feel weak and uncertain...call a friend or come here. This is going to take some time. But things will get better, I promise.

[Dogg]

to answer your question, NO, that new girl is nopt in the picture anymore at all. she was not right in the head! after hangin out for a little more than three weeks and after me telling her repatdly that I wanted t o take things slow, she did not get it! she dropped the "L" bomb on me and then began texting me about 30 times a day even when she knew I was at work and unnable to respond. she began saying things like "why are you mad at me" and "why are you doing this to us" and "we are going to have a great life together" and other psycho stuff that yo do not say to someone after three weeks of dating. I called her last friday to tell her that she obviously wanted somehting that I could not give her and that we should stop seeing each other because it just isn't fair to her. she flipped out and began crying hysterically saying that I have just thrown away the best thing that she had ever had and that she would have married me ifr i had asked her to!!!!!!! like I said, this is after three weeks of dating! THIS CHICK WAS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dogg]

thanks kellbell, but I just hope that it gets better by her coming back!

[Dogg]

well i received an email back from my ex that more or less broke my heart all over again. here it is:

 

Hello -

Listen dogg I am sorry again for the phone call - I did explain myself about that and that is all that it meant!! I am sorry to say this but I dont' think that it is a good idea to get together (and I am not getting together with you) and I don't think that we should start talking again there is really no reason for it!! I don't mean to be harsh and i am not being harsh but it is the truth!! I hope you have a great weekend!!

xxxxx

 

So i guess my hopes of ever recconciling things are now completely shot. what is her deal? how can she treat me like this after three years? I don't know what to do even though this is somewhat what I expected. I just feel so lost and hurt and almost betrayed all over again....why won't she even talk to me?

[Lady Bugg]

Dogg she doesn't want to talk to you for exactly the same reasons you emailed her in the first place. You will take it as hope or as her leading you on. She is trying to make a clean break by not dragging it out any longer. I KNOW it hurts but that is why they call it "heartbreak".

 

You need to respect her wishes and NOT contact her anymore. Accept that it is now OVER.

[Dogg]

well you all were completely right once and for all. I got an email from her and she flat out said that she does not want to talk because she does not "have any desire to give it another shot" so I now know that its truly over for good, and I'm not gonna lie but it kills me! I feel so lost because now all the little glimmers of hope that I had are shattered. where do I go from here? i don't know.......i just don't know......what the hell happened here, I will never understand......

[Lady Bugg]

You absorb it all.....pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and move forward.

It's kind of like accepting the death of a loved one. It is so final it DOES shatter you...but you WILL love again, it will just take some time. It's even harder because you have NO say in this..it's all HER decision. You think in your heart if ONLY she would try ONE more time,you could at LEAST have a hand in how things end...but the truth is, you don't. This is the ending you need to accept, hard as it is.

 

Dogg MANY of us are going through breakups right now, you are NOT the only one hurting. We are here for a REASON...and believe me, many of us would have LOVED the chance to end things on OUR terms...but it doesn't always work out that way.

 

Sorry sweetie...

[Dogg]

well she called again but to say nothing more than that we will never be together again, that she just does not think of me liek that anymore and that she has no desire to ever try to work things out again. so again, its more than over for me....thanks for all of your support and kind words, I tried my hardest to save the love that i had for her and try to make it work, but you can't make someone love you and you can't make someone want to be with you when they just don't want to. I hope that she wakes up one day to realize what she truly has lost. I told her not to call me anymore, not to email me anymore and to try to let me move on. there is no more hope in my heart, it is broken again and I don't know if I can pick up the pieces this time.....